He smiled mischievously, suddenly much more like the prisoner I remembered. His eyes gleamed. “Your bedroom, then. Your old one.” And as if he hadn’t uttered something deliberately outrageous, he inclined his head and moved away.
I drew in a shuddering breath. More than ever, I wanted this party to be over.
Chapter Seventeen
Since the duke left shortly after our brief conversation, the deflated party began to break up. On my way to the door—I’d decided to let Augusta manage without her entourage of one—I found Bernhard von Gerritzen beside me.
“Lady Guin! I’ve been trying to find you all evening. I suppose you were in demand.”
“In hiding,” I said wryly.
“The duke’s toast made you heroine of the hour. You should use it. There! My advice is by way of thanks.”
“For what?” I asked, the vast majority of my mind on Kasimir.
“Putting in a word for me. The new duke has made me his secretary—probationally. I presumed the recommendation came from you.”
I blinked. “Why should you think that?”
“He told me.”
I frowned. “He can’t have!”
“Well, it sounded a bit odd, to be honest, but that’s what I took from it. He came up to me one day out of the blue, asked me a lot of questions about my opinions, and then abruptly said he needed a secretary and since I was a friend of yours he thought I might do. But that if I ever walked away from you again when you needed help he’d dismiss me and feed my entrails to the dogs. Or something.”
I paused. “What did he mean by that?”
“Who knows? I did wonder if he’d seen, or heard about, more likely, Prince Heribert’s behaviour to you at the masquerade ball. I didn’t behave well.”
“Better than most,” I said judiciously. “Did he really say these things?”
He gave a lopsided smile. “I told you, you’re the heroine of the hour. Several hours! And something tells me you’re now well out of my league.”
“Your league of what?” I asked, still thinking about the stunning possibility that Kasimir was trying to make me comfortable by bringing people he thought were my friends into his circle. Both Angelika and von Gerritzen.
He gave a breath of laughter. “Never mind. I always liked you, you know. I wanted you to be a success at the old duke’s court.”
I laughed. “Sir, I am not a socially successful person, but I always enjoyed your company. Except when you were mean to Colonel Friedrich.”
“That was a mistake,” he allowed. “Court intrigues and petty advantages have a habit of taking over one’s life.”
“I wouldn’t let them,” I said, vaguely. “Not now.”
I made my way to my room—my new room—looking for Barbara. Since I couldn’t find her, I presumed she was with Patrick. I would speak to her later.
I took a candle and matches from the dressing table, and after a moment’s hesitation, raised my eyes to the mirror.
A slightly hectic flush stained my cheeks and my lips, and my eyes were bright with excitement. Because I was going to meet him. Away from prying, watchful eyes. Just Kasimir and me, as it had been in the beginning. I knew I was building too much on this, on his toast to me, singling me out, and his casual, not to say cavalier, attitude to Princess Maria, who would surely never have troubled to warn me off if she’d regarded her position as secure.
Taking a deep breath, I left the room.
I didn’t expect to encounter anyone on the way, except possibly servants, Barbara or Kasimir himself. Our guests were quartered on the third side of the castle, between the barracks and the family area.
Lights still burned in the passages as far as the staircase. Beyond that, as usual, was darkness. I lit my candle on the table at the top of the stairs and hurried along the familiar passage to my old bedroom.
With a pleasant little thrill, I saw that the door of my room was ajar, allowing pale lamplight to trickle out. My heart beat louder in my ears as I pushed open the door and went in.
Kasimir sat on my bed in his shirt sleeves, looking so much more like the prisoner I knew than the duke he’d become, that my throat tried to close up. His old notebooks lay scattered in front of him, some of them open.
He glanced up at me with a quick, almost deprecating smile and rose to his feet. “I left them for you. Did you look at them?”
“Yes. But I read some of them before, in the library.”
“Did you think I was a pompous ass of a child? Or insanely rambling?”
“Sanely rambling,” I said. I took a deep breath. “I liked the boy you were. The books made me trust you to do the right thing.”
The room wasn’t large, and he stood very close to me. I could feel the heat from his body, the whisper of his breath in my hair. His deep eyes were steady on mine, a faint smile curving his slightly parted lips. Lips that had kissed me.
My breath caught.
As if the tiny sound dragged him back to himself, he turned back to the bed, pushed a couple of the notebooks aside to reveal a polished wooden box, which he picked up and offered to me. “I brought you a present. I found it in one of Leopold’s cabinets, but it was my mother’s.”
Touched, I took it from him. It was beautifully carved all the way round, with violins. “She loved dancing,” Kasimir said. “Open it.”
I did, and heard the faint whir of a mechanism as two gorgeously dressed dancing figures rose up from the depths. Music began to play, a spirited waltz.
I laughed with delight. “It’s beautiful!”
“I always thought so.” He took the open box from me and laid it on the bedside table before bowing to me and offering his hand. “May I?”
“You may,” I replied grandly, and took his hand quite naturally. He swept me into his arms and into the dance, round and round that tiny room until I was dizzy and laughing, and then out through the door and down the passage, still dancing until the music faded into the distance and we stilled.
He’d never looked more handsome to me than in that moment with the laughter just dying in his eyes and on his lips. The closeness of his strong, hard body in its overly careless dress melted me. For a moment, I thought he would bend his head and kiss me. I wouldn’t have objected. Every pulse in my body yearned for it.
Then his smile broadened. His arm fell away, and he swung my hand down and high again as he began to walk with me instead.
He said, “The prince of Karraden was returning to his own city from visiting family in Bavaria when I closed the borders. I felt obliged to house and entertain him.”
“The princess of Karraden believes she will marry you.”
“There she is sadly mistaken. My heart is with another.”
My whole body warmed to hear it. But, being me, I had to make sure. I said, “You’re not mistaking misplaced gratitude for love?”
“No. Have you any other reasons why you shouldn’t be my love?”
“No…”
“Good.” He swerved right down a corridor I hadn’t known existed. The way was much brighter here, already lit with occasional candles. “Because I want to show you some things. I’m going to renovate this part of the castle.”
“Good!”
“I don’t want to spend too much, but from my personal fortune, and Leopold’s extravagances which I plan to sell, I should be able to do enough.” He pulled me into a long gallery, spinning with me to show me it in all its empty, dilapidated glory. “I thought here would be a great place for the vengeful Renaissance noblewoman to line up her enemies, berate them for stealing her family’s wealth. I could knock them down for you to place your elegant foot on their necks, one by one.”
“Delicious,” I approved.
He sped up, and we ran the length of the gallery into another room. “And here, she could dine with the noble son of her enemy, wh
o’s trying desperately to make things up to her.”
“Excellent,” I said breathlessly, looking around me at the vaulted room. “Who would this be?”
“Me, of course. I will be taking all the roles that incur your gratitude, affection, and lust.”
“Lust?” I said, sure I shouldn’t be so amused by his improper banter. “Noble ladies—particularly vengeful ones—don’t feel lust.”
He tugged my hand, spinning me into his arms, close against his warm body. I could feel the rigid muscles of his chest and arms, the shocking outline of his erection pressing through the skirts at my abdomen. “Yes, they do,” he said huskily.
I gazed up at him, my heart pounding. His head bent and my eyelids fluttered down in sweet anticipation. I’d never wanted anything more than his kiss. His breath stirred my lips, which fell open for him without my even telling them.
His breath caught. But it was fingertips that touched my mouth. “Oh no,” he said. “If I kiss you, I won’t stop.”
I swallowed and opened my eyes. “You said you’d be inside me, making me scream. All night. In a good way, I understood.”
“Oh very good.” His eyes were dark and glittering with heat. “And I will. But I won’t hurt you here on the rough floor.”
Something wicked and powerful leapt inside me. Oh yes, here on the rough floor! I bit back my fervent plea only because he released all but my hand, tugging me towards another staircase.
He said, “Here is where you lie with your lover, and your husband.”
“Are they the same man?” I asked innocently.
“It’s your fantasy. But I intend they’re all me.”
“All. I seem to be a very promiscuous lady.”
“You can be as many people as you wish,” he said generously as we emerged into a large, round chamber, with many windows. In daylight, after a thorough clean, it would be fantastically light.
“A nun?” I said flippantly.
“Only for a little,” he replied. “Unless she’s a wicked nun.”
My laughter was slightly shocked. I’d never known questionable banter like this with anyone. “You are outrageous.”
“I will be. Look.” He drew me over to the far wall and opened what appeared to be shutters on a large, empty hatch. “We could glaze this,” he observed, and I peered down with him into the familiar hall I’d discovered on my first night in the castle. It was lit by candles set on the floor around the walls. They lent a wonderful, eerie glow to the stone carvings and the cobwebs glistened. I gave a crow of delight.
“There are two more rooms beyond. I thought one could be my dressing room.”
“My lovers’ dressing room,” I corrected.
“I beg your pardon. And the other, for you to write in, but you must choose that for yourself. There are other rooms we can use for nurseries, children’s rooms, and so on.”
Sobering, I licked my dry lips. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”
“Aren’t you?” he said steadily.
I swallowed hard. “This is life,” I managed. “Not a game.”
“Where is it written that life must be dull? God knows I’ll have duties enough, and if you marry me, I’m afraid you’ll have many too. But I would like us to be partners, companions, playmates. And this would be such a fun place to make our own, to bring up children in privacy and safety.”
“We’ll need banisters and carpets for these stone stairs,” I said worriedly.
He grinned. “Exactly. There will be doors to the outside, and doors in those dividing garden walls, to maintain our privacy and remove all resemblance to a prison.”
“Would you really be happy living in this part of the castle?”
His eyes changed. “I liked it best as a child, even though I wasn’t supposed to play here. It was considered too dangerous even then. I’ve got engineers coming to examine it in the next couple of days.”
He glanced across the hall below to the familiar steps to his tower. “We’ll obliterate the prison and make it ours.”
“And our happiness would help dissipate the beast,” I said aloud.
“Beast?” he repeated, startled. “Is this a new story?”
“No, it’s an old one,” I said ruefully. “Kasimir—”
“What is Mrs. Darke doing here?” he interrupted.
I followed his gaze and saw Barbara was indeed hurrying across the hall below. “She’ll be checking on the beast.”
His breath caught. “That’s your beast?” He bolted away from me, hurling words over his shoulder. “She shouldn’t go up there. Stop her, Guin.”
“You know,” I said stupidly. “You know about the beast.”
“Guin!” Already he was hurtling down the stairs.
I called down from the hatch. “Barbara! Barbara, wait.”
One foot on the first step, she glanced up in surprise, looking for me. I gestured wildly for her to come back towards me, and when she took her foot off the step, I hurried in Kasimir’s wake to meet her.
When I ran into the hall, Barbara was saying flatly to the duke, “You need to tell us exactly what that thing is, because it’s getting stronger by the hour. I can feel it. And I think your presence is feeding it.”
Kasimir glanced from her to me without much surprise. He didn’t look guilty either, just slightly…sad. After a moment, he dragged his hand through his hair and gestured towards the window.
“You’d better sit down. I’m afraid that’s the best seat I can offer you right now.”
There were indeed stone seats under all the windows. Part of me was actually imagining the room with clean windows and bright cushions on the seats. The other part was terrified that whatever he was going to admit to here would tear us apart for good.
Barbara and I sat in the window embrasure. In one of his sudden moves, Kasimir dropped to the floor facing us, and drew his knees up under his chin like some kind of street urchin. The candle flames cast leaping shadows over his face, shading it in glow and darkness. My heart began to ache.
“Well?” Barbara said severely.
He sighed. “I can’t really remember now when I discovered I could do it. Months rather than years ago, I think. As you said, Mrs. Darke, I can travel outside my body, and one day I discovered I could leave certain things outside it when I returned. Pain, anger, grief, some of the feelings that made my imprisonment harder to bear. It didn’t seem to do any harm. Then, one day, after I met Guin…I don’t know, it all seemed to weigh down on me, what I was being deprived of, and what I’d never be able to have, even if I ever managed to get free.
“I shouted, cried out so loudly that Dieter came and hit me to shut me up. I didn’t even feel the pain. But I felt its presence after that. It was like…another me, only it had no voice, no will, it just…existed. Because I’d howled it out of me.”
“That was the sound I heard,” I whispered. “The beast…”
“I didn’t know you were there then. But I began to see how I could use this gift. To take back my life, and what was mine, to make things better for everyone.
“I practiced a little, pushing out bits of emotion here and there, and then, when I was ready, when Leopold told Dieter to kill me when he’d gone, I got rid of all the stuff that could do damage—the madness other people couldn’t deal with, the anger, the temper and hate and violence. And I left it chained in my cell while I went off to convince everyone I was the duke they needed. Calm, sensible, merciful, without a trace of madness.”
My throat ached. “You weren’t mad,” I said. “You were in pain.”
His throat worked and was still. “It felt like madness. Whatever, it’s gone.”
“No, it isn’t,” Barbara disputed. “It’s up those stairs in the room that used to be your cell, and it’s dangerous. It wants Guin.”
His head jerked at that. “W
hat?”
I told him quickly about my struggles to get out of the cell both on my own and with Barbara.
“Jesus,” he whispered. “It’s all my evil. I was afraid it might damage Barbara since she’s a medium. I never imagined you’d take her up there, and I certainly had no idea it could affect you.”
“Stop it,” Barbra said sharply. “You’re only feeding it, making it stronger with pain and guilt.”
“Do you feel it?” he asked her curiously.
She nodded. “Ever since you arrived, I’ve felt it growing, sensed it from wherever I am in the castle. You’re still dumping your negative emotions into it.”
He frowned. “No, I’m not. Though I’ll admit I’ve had plenty. It’s like herding bad-tempered children, just keeping my advisers—advisers, ha!—from each other’s throats. It’s infuriating to waste so much time on petty jealousies when I have serious work to do.”
Barbara cast an uneasy glance over his head at the stairs and I guessed Kasimir’s remembered annoyance had also been swallowed by the beast.
“Serious work,” I repeated. “Like dancing and designing a new home?”
He grinned at me, a flash of pure fun and wicked lust.
“Does that make it smaller?” I asked Barbara.
“Actually, no. If anything—” She broke off, jumping to her feet, staring at the staircase.
At once, Kasimir rose with her and turned in the same direction.
“What?” I asked with dread.
In a hollow voice, Barbara said, “I don’t think it’s trapped anymore. It’s coming.”
“For what?” Kasimir wondered. My hand crept into his. “For whom?”
I took Barbara’s hand too. I wasn’t sure why, it just seemed to me we’d be stronger together, comforting and supporting each other.
“Don’t you know?” Barbara demanded of Kasimir. “It’s you.”
“It’s a me without thought, empathy, or self-control,” Kasimir said with a grimness I’d never heard in him before. “That should terrify you.”
The Prisoner of Silverwood Castle Page 21