by Amy Reece
“This is interesting. Anyone I know? It’s not Tara, is it?” I sat up excitedly.
“Ah, no. She is quite beautiful, of course, but a bit too, um, strong, for my taste.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I can see that. And I think she and Mat might finally make a go of it. So, who holds the elusive key to your heart?”
“I don’t think I’m ready to disclose that yet. I have no idea if my feelings are reciprocated. But, ma belle, what about this separation between you and Jack? I don’t really like him very much, but I can see it is hurting both of you to be apart. Have you talked to him?”
I curled up against him again and he put his arm around me. “I’ve tried, so many times. He won’t talk to me. I think it’s really over.”
“Don’t be so sure or so pessimistic,” he said. “Love will find a way. I have to believe that.”
“Why? Because you’re French?”
“What does being French have to do with it?” He laughed.
“Well, aren’t you all supposed to be the experts at romance?”
“Ally, I think people are the same at heart, no matter what their nationality. I choose to believe love will overcome the barriers we put up. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, Rémy. Nothing at all.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Pray you now, forget and forgive.”
–Shakespeare –King Lear (4.7.99)
Friday at school was slightly more bearable than it had been in a while. It was a relief to be comfortable around Rémy and not have to hide anything from him anymore. We had talked a lot about our powers the night before and he was impressed and in awe of the range of my developing powers. His were more limited, but better developed than mine, perhaps because of his advanced age, which I enjoyed teasing him about. He was gifted in the area of persuasion—not surprising—and in locating people and things, much like my mother, but far more powerful.
Sitting next to Jack in physics was still awful, but I was starting to get used to it. I could tell he wanted to ask me about the bandage on my hand, but since I didn’t want to tell him, I didn’t give him any sort of opening. I kept busy with the notes we were taking for an upcoming lab, trying not to let on that writing really hurt my hand. I guess I didn’t do a great job of that because about ten minutes into the lecture, Jack reached over and gently stilled my wrist.
“I’ll give you a copy of mine later, okay? I can tell it hurts,” he whispered. I looked over at him, surprised. These were the first real words he had spoken to me in nearly a month. I nodded and put my pen down in relief. I tried to pay attention to the rest of the lecture, but not having to write left my mind too free. I kept sneaking glances at Jack, watching his head bent over his spiral notebook. He must have felt me looking because he caught me several times. As soon as the bell rang, I packed up quickly and left without saying a word to him.
During lunch, I noticed him sitting by himself at a table not too far from ours and I’m pretty sure he was glaring at Rémy and me. And I’m pretty sure Rémy was well aware and enjoying it, taking the opportunity to touch me frequently and making me laugh. If I didn’t know better, I would say Jack was jealous, but that was ridiculous. He broke up with me. Why was he glaring at Rémy and me like he cared? Where did he get off? He didn’t want me, but no one else could have me, either? I made sure Jack could see I was enjoying Rémy’s attention. How was it possible I could be so angry with a person and yet still love him so much? Maybe if I didn’t have to see him every day and sit by him in two classes I could get over him.
I was emotionally exhausted by the end of the day and told Rémy I needed to be alone tonight. I had some serious wallowing to engage in. I sped home and immediately changed into my comfy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajama pants, a cami—sans bra because it was sadly unnecessary—and a truly disgusting old sweatshirt with the neck raggedly cut out. I scraped my hair up into messy pigtails and I was ready for an evening of abject self-pity and chick flicks. Mom and Grams were out checking on wedding venues, so I had the house all to myself. The only hitch in my plans came when I checked the freezer and realized we were out of ice cream. Unacceptable. No pity-party would be complete without several pints, so I did what any self-respecting, recently dumped girl would do: I drove to Walmart in my pajamas to buy some damn ice cream. Classy, I know. I was in the freezer aisle, three pints already in my cart, trying to decide between Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia for my final pint, when I heard a squeal and was attacked from behind.
“Ally!” It was Megan, hugging my legs. Trina was right behind her. Oh, God, this was going to be awful. I turned around and squatted down to hug Megan back.
“Hey, munchkin. Hi,” I choked out.
“Ally! I miss you! Why don’t you come over anymore? Jack is so sad. Don’t you love him?” she cried.
“Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry. I miss you, too.” I really did miss her. When I fell in love with Jack, I also fell in love with his family. He had taken so much away from me. I was incredibly pissed at him. “Of course I still love your brother. I still love you too. Jack needs to be by himself for now.” I couldn’t go on; the tears were coming no matter how hard I tried to hold them back.
“Megan, sweetheart, let her go.” Trina pried her off me and pulled me into her arms. “Come here, mija. I’m so sorry, Ally.”
I nodded and continued to cry, right there in the middle of the frozen food aisle. “I miss him so much, Trina,” I whispered.
“I know. He misses you too. Have you talked to him?”
I shook my head. “He won’t talk to me. He doesn’t want me,” I cried into her neck.
“I know that’s not true. He’s miserable without you. He’s just going through a lot right now.” She pulled back to look into my face. “He still loves you, you know.”
I shook my head again, sadly. “I don’t think so, Trina. I’ve got to go before my ice cream melts.” I knelt down to hug Megan again briefly. “You both take care, okay?”
I cried all the way home. I crammed the ice cream in the freezer and fell onto the couch to continue my cry in peace.
I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until it was starting to get dark outside. Mom and Grams were still gone, so I grabbed a pint of ice cream and a spoon and settled down for dinner and a movie with the two most important men in my life: Ben and Jerry. I was about halfway through my Chunky Monkey and While You Were Sleeping when the doorbell rang. Thinking it was a) Rémy and I would get rid of him or b) the UPS guy needing a signature, I took my ice cream with me to answer the door. I was wrong. It was Jack, looking freshly showered with wet hair and a recent shave, wearing one of my favorite pairs of faded jeans, a dark blue t-shirt, and his leather jacket. I stared like an idiot, ice cream dripping off my spoon.
“Hi,” he said quietly.
“Hi,” I said stupidly.
“Um, I brought your physics notes.”
“Oh.” Awkward silence.
“Can I come in?” he asked hesitantly.
I stepped away from the door and walked back into the living room, leaving him to follow or not. I set my ice cream on the coffee table and reached for the remote to pause the movie.
“While You Were Sleeping, huh? That’s one of your favorites,” he offered.
I didn’t respond. I didn’t want to talk about how he knew what my favorite movies were. I needed him to give me the goddamn physics notes and leave. Now. My stomach was starting to hurt and he needed to go before I got sick. I had wanted desperately to talk to him, but now that he was here, I couldn’t handle it. I turned the TV off and took my ice cream back to the freezer. When I turned around, he was there, sitting at the kitchen table.
“So, you and Rémy, huh?” he asked.
I shrugged. I didn’t feel like going into this with him, either.
“Shit,” I heard him mutter under his breath.
“What do you want, Jack?” I cried. I couldn’t take much more of this. My heart felt like it was being re-shredded and I
was on the verge of throwing up.
“Trina and Megan said they saw you at Walmart today. I had to come over.”
Could this day get any worse? I couldn’t find my voice, so I shook my head, reaching up to wipe away the tears that were spilling over. “Why?” I finally forced myself to ask. “Why did you have to come over?”
“Is it true, Ally? Is what they told me true? Do you still love me? Even after everything I did?” he whispered hoarsely.
I gave a sob and wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying not to vomit. He got up and walked over to me, hesitantly putting his arms around me. I stayed like I was for an endless moment before giving up and wrapping my arms around him, sobbing violently into his chest.
He pulled me tightly against him, his head resting on mine. “God, Ally. I’m so sorry. I was such a fool. Is there any way you can forgive me?”
I pulled back to look into his eyes. Was this a cruel dream or could it possibly be true? “Jack?” I hiccoughed through my sobs.
He took my face in his hands and leaned in to kiss me. It was the softest of kisses, but it felt like coming home. He pulled away. “Ally, querida,” he breathed against my lips. “God, I love you. I never stopped loving you. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
“You broke my heart, Jack,” I sobbed.
“I know. I’m so sorry. I broke mine, too. I’m miserable without you. Please, Ally,” he was literally begging, tears beginning to escape his eyes. “If you still love me even a little bit, please give me another chance.”
I had thought it would make me feel better to hear him grovel, but it didn’t. I had thought I would revel in him crawling back to me and begging me to take him back. Anything that hurt him, hurt me too. I was so tired of all of it: tired of both of us being miserable, tired of being apart. I needed to forgive him so we could move on with our lives, together this time. Here in his arms was where I belonged. I leaned back into him. “I love you too, Jack. I never stopped.” I pulled away and cupped my palm on his jaw. “I tried to get over you. I really did, but I couldn’t.”
He put his hand over mine and brought it up to his lips, kissing the ring I had never removed. “You never took it off.” I shook my head, hurt he had taken his off. He reached into his shirt and pulled out a chain with the Claddagh ring hanging from it. “I tried. I wanted you to think I had so you would move on, but I couldn’t.” He pulled the chain over his head, undid the clasp, and put his ring in my palm.
My heart twisted with painful joy, knowing he hadn’t been able to put the ring away and forget it, forget me, forget us. I slid it back onto the ring finger of his right hand, the heart facing toward him, where it belonged, signifying he was mine.
Then he was kissing me again, kissing me as if his life depended on it, which maybe it did; I know mine did. I realized while I could live without him, it was a life devoid of full joy. So I kissed him back, investing every ounce of myself. For once, he didn’t hold back and it intensified quickly. His mouth opened mine and his tongue stroked inside. He reached down, grabbed my rear end, and pulled me tight against him. I wound my legs around his waist as he placed me on the counter and set about devouring my mouth in the best way possible. I had missed this so incredibly much. As we kissed, I felt my soul and heart being healed. Suffice it to say that by the time he pulled away, both of us were panting and he had discovered I wasn’t wearing a bra. And I knew exactly how much he wanted me. Yeah.
“Jesus, Ally. I’m sorry. That got out of hand,” he breathed, resting his forehead against mine. “I have missed you so damned much.”
I put my fingers against his lips, shushing him. “Don’t ever apologize for this, Jack. Please.”
“Okay, I’ll try.” He smiled. “But I don’t want our first time to be on your grandmother’s kitchen counter. For God’s sake, I don’t even know if she or your mom is home. What was I thinking?”
“I don’t really think you were. At least not with this brain,” I said as I tapped his head. He looked at me, slightly shocked, and then we were both laughing and kissing some more, but lighter and not nearly as intense.
“Tell me what happened, querida,” he insisted as he took my injured hand gently in his. Oh, how I had missed hearing his pet name for me.
“I kind of punched Rémy in the face,” I admitted.
“Why would you do that? It looked like you two were getting along just fine today,” he said, sounding miffed.
“Jealous?” I asked, amused.
“You’re goddamn right I’m jealous. I don’t care if I had no right to be. I wanted to kill him today, watching him touch you and make you laugh. Are you and he…?”
“No! God, Jack! Do you think I would be kissing you like this if I were with someone else? You had better say no,” I warned.
“Of course not. It’s only my insane jealousy talking. Sorry,” he said quickly.
“We’re just friends. He really helped me cope this last month. I haven’t been doing very well without you.”
“Yeah, me neither. God, Ally, life sucked without you.” That called for more kissing. “So why did you punch him?” he asked against my lips.
“Because he kissed me,” I said, going back in for another kiss.
“What?” Jack pulled back, holding my arms. “Why the hell was he kissing you? You said you were just friends. I am going to kill him!”
“Calm down,” I said, running my fingers through his hair, which was still damp from his shower. He smelled incredible and tasted even better. I kissed him and said, “Rémy kissed me and I punched him.”
“He’s that bad of a kisser, huh?”
I laughed. “Oh, he wasn’t really putting much effort into it. He was fed up with trying to touch me, so he grabbed me and kissed me.” At Jack’s growl I continued, “He’s a Seer, Jack. He touched me to read my mind and see if I was one, too. That’s why he’s here in Albuquerque. He came to find me.”
“Son of a bitch,” was his response.
‘Yep.” I filled him in on the rest of the story between kisses, trying to make up for a month without any.
“So, let me get this straight: that little douche-bag came here to find you because his grandmother is the Oracle. And she got some kind of prophecy and sent Rémy over here to convince you to go to France with him. And he’s really 22 years old and not a high school student. Am I missing anything?” he said through clenched teeth.
“Nope, that sounds like the gist of it,” I said breezily. I didn’t fill him in on the part about Rémy being the heart of the Oracle. I figured that could wait.
“Let me see your hand,” he said as he gently unwrapped the bandage. I winced as he pulled it away. “Please let me kick his ass.” He kissed all around the injured area.
I leaned forward and kissed his hair. “No. I need you to get along with him, okay? He’s been a really good friend. And I punched him of my own free will.”
“Fine. For you, I won’t kill him.” He nodded reluctantly as he re-wrapped my hand.
“Jack,” I said, getting serious for a moment. “I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“No more pulling away. I can’t take it. Being apart from you nearly destroyed me. Your past is part of you and I love you. All of you. You have to let me in. I know you’re going through a tough time with your dad, but please let me help. “
“Okay,” he said, kissing me. “If you promise in return not to try to hold back or withdraw because of your psychic oracle-ness. It’s part of you and I love you. All of you,” he repeated. After another lengthy kiss, he lifted me off the counter. “As much as I love this outfit, it’s giving me way too many ideas. Why don’t you go put on something a little more, uh, inaccessible, and I’ll take you out for a tofu burger or something and we can talk. I’m nearly certain you only had ice cream for dinner.”
I laughed and told him to give me fifteen minutes. When I reappeared at the top of the stairs he was sitting on the couch, petting Wicky. As I walked down the s
tairs, his eyes got big, and he set the cat away from him and rose to meet me.
“Holy mother of God.” I had gone all out, donning a tight blue sheath dress with a plunging neckline, courtesy of Tara, and high heels. “I think this is going to take more than a tofu burger.”
“I want to make sure you understand what you’ve been missing,” I said in what I hoped was a seductive voice. I prayed I wouldn’t ruin the effect by tripping on the ridiculously high heels. I had a sudden flashback—not psychic—to the night we started dating, right after his probation hearing, when I had come down the stairs wearing another of Tara’s choice of dresses. Note to self: Jack appreciates a sexy dress. Good to know.
“Oh. My. God,” he said as he pulled me into his arms.
Of course, this was the scene Grams and my mom walked in on: Jack and I kissing insanely, my hands in his hair, his on my rear end. “Ally, is that Jack’s car outsi—apparently so,” finished Grams wryly. “Hello, Jack.”
I wasn’t about to jump apart guiltily. I had nothing to be ashamed of by kissing my newly-restored boyfriend. He did, however, remove his hands and put one arm around my waist. “Hi, Mrs. Moran, Ms. Moran. How have you been?”
“Oh, we’ve been fine, Jack. I can’t say the same for Ally, but she appears to be doing well now. How have you been?” Grams asked pointedly.
“Not good, actually. I came over to beg Ally to take me back. I was stupid and let go of the most important thing in my life.”
Grams seemed to approve of his honesty. “Well, you’re back now. I certainly hope there was groveling involved. And call me Adele. Are you two going out?”
“Yes, Grams. Jack is taking me to dinner because he apparently doesn’t approve of my ice cream-only diet. And, yes, there was some groveling. Don’t wait up.” I took his hand to lead him outside.
“What a lovely dress, Ally, what there is of it,” murmured my mother.