Again, he began typing and then erased it.
This shouldn’t be so difficult. It should be easy since he knew how he felt about her.
Only, he didn’t know how to do the deed.
So, he typed one last message to her. It was the only one he’d send her.
‘I love you, Sarah, but you have to set me free. I don’t know if I’ll ever catch her. Find a sweet man and settle down. Have babies and then grandchildren. I’m not worthy of your love. I’m not good for you. Set me free so you can find love again. Do it for me if you won’t do it for you. I’m a dead end. I love you too much to see this be your outcome. You deserve more. You deserve all. I will never forget you as long as I live.
Forever.
Dak.’
He stared at it, and then he hit send.
It was crushing, and it broke his heart to do it. While he wanted to send her something better. He wanted to make sure she understood that they couldn’t be anything anymore. Dakota couldn’t risk her for his own needs.
She was in danger if Bonnie ever found out about them. This was for her own good—whether she liked it or not.
When his phone beeped, he stared down at the message.
‘You’re an asshole, Dakota, and that proved it, but I made a promise to you. I vowed I wouldn’t leave you. I’m staying. I’m going to fight for you. That’s my choice. It’s my life. I love you even when you think you know what’s best for me. The irony is you don’t even know what’s best for you.’
He sighed.
Of course she was going to keep at it.
And of course she was absolutely right.
He didn’t have a freaking clue what was best for him.
This time, he figured she earned something kind. He sent her a heart. He didn’t want her to be sad. He wanted Sarah to always know the truth.
She truly owned his heart.
* * * H U N T E R * * *
Sunday Morning
When he woke up, she was practically on top of him. Her face was tucked into his throat, and his arms were around her. He could see her bare ass sticking out in the mirror and his body reacted to it.
Zayn couldn’t help himself.
She was right there. With his hand, he slid his fingers down her covered back to her behind. The second he touched her, his dick went rock-hard.
Jesus!
There was going to be a shit ton of jacking off over her. He could tell. This was as far as he ever let any relationship go, and he was freaked out. It was day two, and they were sleeping together.
Literally.
He’d never gone to this level with anyone else, and now he knew why. It was special.
When she began moving, he tried to keep his breathing even. It wasn’t easy. She lifted her head and stared down at him—almost sensing he was awake.
Then again, it could be that she was on top of his now throbbing dick.
“Morning.”
“Good morning,” he said back, as he was terrified to make any move or blink.
With her fingers, she moved some of his hair so she could nuzzle him with her cheek. It drove him wild and melted the ice in his heart.
Stella could feel the change in his body, and it was giving off definite ‘touch me’ signals.
She was going to take a risk.
When she found his ear with her mouth, she teased it. His body went from taunt to stone.
“Stella,” he muttered, a moan following from deep within his chest.
This was torture. He wanted her, but he didn’t want to rush her. She’d just been rescued. He didn’t want to scare her if they jumped into something sexual.
“You smell really good, Zayn.”
Yeah, and she felt really good.
Too good.
There would be a point where he couldn’t stop, and he knew it. Zayn was no saint, and she was pushing him to that limit with barely a touch.
He began praying in his head to the Great Spirit.
His body was betraying him.
Stella knew she was taking a risk. She knew that this could blow up in her face and end up hurting her.
Still, he’d saved her.
She wanted to save him. Something was eating away at his soul, and that crushed her.
So, she opted to show him what she was feeling.
She worked her mouth down his throat to his jaw. When she found his lips, she didn’t hesitate to kiss him. She dove in, willing to do battle for him.
He’d saved her.
It was her turn.
Zayn moaned, as she rubbed against him. It was Heaven and Hell, and he was trapped somewhere in between the two.
God!
He was stuck there.
When she set his mouth free, she was staring down into his eyes. “So, yesterday you said the next time you wouldn’t let me go. I suggest you follow your advice.”
He blinked a few times, trying to figure out what to do.
She kissed him again, but this time, he was trying to stay in control of his lust.
For her.
For him.
Stella ran her fingers over his chest, his large shoulders, and then into his hair.
Still, he didn’t move.
She set him free and it occurred to her that he wasn’t feeling it, or the whole thing wasn’t welcomed.
“I’m sorry. I thought…”
He went to stop her.
Instead, she was already getting off the bed. “I’m going to shower. I’m sorry I crossed some line. I figured it was welcomed after what you said. I guess I was wrong. Again.”
She escaped in humiliation.
She ran because of the tears that were already forming in her eyes. She’d just crawled over a sexy man who didn’t feel the same.
In the bathroom, she dropped the shirt, hit the water and tried to hide her embarrassment.
She wasn’t good at the seduction thing, and she’d proved it. She’d managed to turn the man right off.
Just her luck.
When she was in the bathroom, he began pacing. He wanted her.
God!
He wanted her so much that it physically hurt him. His dick throbbed, his balls ached, but he needed to put her first.
This was NOT how it should be.
Not at all.
So, he followed her into the bathroom. As he watched her in the shower, he wanted her even more.
“Stella.”
“It’s okay,” she said, the flush of humiliation creeping across her flesh. “I thought…I was wrong.”
Yeah, hardly.
“I do want you. I’ve never wanted another woman as much as I want you. I’ve just never done this before.”
She stopped washing her newly unbraided hair.
“What?”
“I’ve never been with a woman.”
She actually had to stare out of the shower at him. How was that even possible? He had those big rough hands, and all she wanted was them all over her. Then those sexy lips. They were so amazing to kiss.
“You’ve only been with men?” she asked, praying that wasn’t right either.
God!
Don’t let the only man that got her wet be gay.
Please.
“I’m not homosexual.”
If this wasn’t a very serious subject, he’d be laughing—especially if it wasn’t about him.
“So wait! That means you’re a virgin?”
He really hated that fucking word.
But he owned it.
“Yes.”
“Why?” she asked. “You’re beyond sexy. I’d follow you around all day just to leer at you.”
“I don’t have sex unless it means something, so I’ve never had sex.”
And the way he had just acted…yeah, he wouldn’t with her either.
“I see.”
He realized how that sounded.
“Shit! Wait! Don’t get upset. I’m trying to tell you that I only want to be with one person for all of my life. I only want to
share that one special thing with the woman I love.”
She moved back into the shower.
“I hope you find her,” she said, her heart hurting. “I hope you find that happiness.”
Why couldn’t her life be easy?
She went back to washing her hair to give her something to do other than cry. She couldn’t face him.
Stella wouldn’t.
There had to be something wrong with her. That was the ONLY reason.
When she went to step back, she moved right into his now naked body. She turned and gasped.
“I want to be with you, Stella. I’ve known since I saw you yesterday in those pictures.”
Then he realized how that sounded.
He blushed.
“Jesus! I’m screwing this up big time.”
She laughed because that flush across his Native tan skin was sweet and sexy all at once. He was struggling, and she understood now.
“And now you’re laughing at me. This is NOT how sex is supposed to go,” he said.
She touched his face. “Says who?”
“All the porn I’ve repeatedly jerked off to for the last nineteen years. There is moaning, fucking, but NEVER laughing.”
“Are you serious? You’ve never had sex with anyone else?” she asked.
“Never.”
For some reason, that turned her right on, and to the point that she wanted him more than that next breath.
“And you want to be with me?” she asked again.
“God! Yes!”
“I have been with other people.”
He didn’t care about that. He wanted that one piece of Heaven for his own, and it was her. He wanted to get lost in her body, forgetting all of his sins.
“Please make me feel.”
The desperation in his voice was clear.
“Okay, Zayn,” she said, as he lifted her up so she could kiss him. Her mouth moved over his without any effort. He held her against his body, both of his large hands cupping her ass. When she began on his neck, moving to the other side, he leaned against the wall and moaned.
This was perfect.
And she hadn’t even really touched him.
He knew because he was wildly throbbing.
“Put me down,” she whispered, and he listened to her. As her feet touched the ground, she went to her knees.
It was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen in all of his life.
There was a drop dead gorgeous woman on her knees in front of him.
HIM.
Zayn Thundercloud.
What the hell?
He hit the water so she wouldn’t drown down there. With very gentle fingers, she stroked him.
He shook at her touch.
It was amazing to have her hand on his erection.
“More?” she asked.
“Yes, please!”
She licked him like a giant lollipop, and he moaned. Stella was getting wet just listening to him, and the sheer size of him. He was the biggest man she’d ever seen, and she wasn’t talking about his height.
“That’s amazing,” he said, as she teased the tip of his erection with her tongue.
“Oh, Zayn, you haven’t seen anything yet.”
She took him in her mouth, and he began muttering in a language she didn’t understand. So, she worked him harder—so hard, his big legs shook.
She had so much power in that shower that it made her want to weep in glee. When her nails ran down his thighs, he began begging in English.
“I won’t last long. I’m new at this.”
She smiled as she set his mouth free. “Since it’s your first time, where do you want me to be?”
“Is this a trick? I was thinking on my dick. That’s how it happens, right?”
It made her laugh.
“I meant here or in bed?”
“Bed.”
He didn’t have to think twice. He pictured her beneath him, and that was even better than her on her knees.
“Let’s go to bed.”
He pulled her up, tossed her over his shoulder, and practically ran out of there.
When he got her to the bed, he dropped her onto the mattress. “I apologize in advance. This is NOT going to be sonnet worthy, but the good news is I’m a very fast learner.”
She laughed as he checked out her body. When he ran his finger over the wetness between her legs, he grinned like a kid in a candy store.
“Since it’s your first time, explore.”
Oh, he would.
From the stories the fellow Marines shared, to what he’d seen in titty magazines and pornos, he knew his way around a woman.
He knew what he wanted.
Her.
Dropping to his knees, he found that tight little bud with his mouth and he tried to devour her.
She came fast, and that seemed to make him even crazier. His mouth worked her feverishly, and he pulled another orgasm from her.
Yeah, he was definitely a quick learner.
When he stood up, he found her breasts and nipped at them with teeth and lips.
She was delicious, soft, and now his.
“Zayn,” she whispered as he slid her to the edge of the bed before he took the plunge.
“Next time, I’m going to take my time. This time…I have to see what it feels like. I’ve waited a long time for you and this moment.”
Her heart flipped.
He waited for her.
God!
She wanted to weep.
That was so damn sweet. He may look like a tough giant, but he was gentle and kind beneath that rough exterior. He was a teddy bear under all that tan skin and long hair.
“Feel free. I’m enjoying it,” she said, as he stroked the tip of his erection through the wetness.
Then, he slid the tip of his erection into her body as he prepared for what was going to come.
Her.
Him.
Hopefully at the same time.
Slowly, he leaned into her body, holding her legs apart so he could find his way into the warmth.
“Jesus! You’re so freaking tight,” he muttered, his whole dick tingling with pleasure.
She was breathing heavily. She had news for him. She was tight because he was huge.
“Zayn,” she whispered.
He couldn’t wait.
He began moving.
Then the sliding in and out became more frenzied. He was pounding himself into her body at a steady pace.
“So good,” he muttered as he watched his dick disappear into her body.
He couldn’t take it.
He pulled her up and carried her to the nearest wall. There, he kept going, changing the angle.
“I’m going to cum again,” she whispered.
He didn’t stop.
He was on fire. His body was on that sharp razor’s edge, and he was ready to fall with her.
“God! I wanted this for so long,” he muttered. “I found you,” he whispered as his head rested against hers. “I can’t believe I found you.”
Stella held on, her fingers in his hair.
“MORE!”
He gave her that and all he had.
With one more thrust, he slammed himself into her, and his body erupted as it was buried in hers.
“Stella!” he shouted, as she followed him and began her own orgasm.
He couldn’t breathe as he poured into her. They became one as their energy mingled, binding them in that one act.
Her body milked his, and her mouth found his. Together, they moved through that delicious haze of afterglow.
When he lifted his head from hers, breaking the kiss, he was smiling.
“Well, how was it?” she asked, still riding his dick. He was buried in her and he was still rock-hard.
“Amazing. Only, I need more. Can I have more?” he asked. “Is that a possibility?”
This man was the sweetest man ever.
“Of course you can. Only this time, I’m going to let you sit back and e
njoy the show,” she teased.
“Is that a real thing? There’s a show?”
She began laughing. He was teasing her. Not only was he sweet, but he was pretty funny too.
“Yeah, and it’s a long playing one. Years, I hear.”
He blinked at her, his face going serious. What she was offering him was something so special, so amazing.
Zayn got it.
She was telling him what he was thinking. This wasn’t a bed-hop for her either. This was the beginning of something important to both of them. It wouldn’t be easy, but she was willing to take that journey with him.
That thought alone made him as hard as steel.
“Stella, gvgeyu’i,” he muttered as her mouth found his.
They fell into the kiss and she forgot to ask what he’d said in his native tongue.
Instead, they fell into bed.
Again.
Chapter Eight
Washington D.C
A s she stood in her office, getting ready to prep the team on the next case, there was a knock on the conference room door. When she turned, Elizabeth couldn’t believe her eyes. She never expected this.
Not in a million years.
“Miss Valley, to what do I owe the pleasure of this little visit?” she asked.
“I need to talk to you.”
Elizabeth glanced down at her watch. “We’re heading out for a case. I don’t really have…”
“I need your help,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t important. I quit my job twenty minutes ago.”
She stared at her.
“Team, pack up, get to the jet, and have them standby for me. I’ll be there shortly.”
They all hustled about, heading out.
When they were gone, she pointed. “Have a seat, Sarah. What can I do for you? I hope you’re not here to ask for a job. That’s Ethan’s thing. I chase crazies.”
“I’m madly in love with him.”
She lifted a brow. “Uh, well, he’s married to me, so that’s not happening. Again, this is a really weird visit. Are you begging me to shoot you?”
Sarah looked confused.
Then she got it.
“No, not Ethan. I’m madly in love with Dakota.”
Atonement: The Hunter Mercenary Series (Book One) Page 13