Her eyes widened. “What?”
“You didn’t know?”
“The first day I met you I cried all over you telling you about the adoption and my mom’s death. You wanted me then?”
“Fiercely.”
She jolted at the word he’d purposely used because he knew it was powerful for her. She blinked and looked at him in confusion. “But you didn’t ask me out. Brad did.”
“We both were going to. We fought about it. Brad kissed you before I got the chance, and I guess that turned your head.”
She put her fingers over her lips. “That was my first kiss. I was in shock.”
“That was your first—” He shoved a hand in his hair. Brad had not been the kind of first kiss Julia deserved. He’d practically shoved his tongue down her throat.
He cradled her face with both hands. “If I’d given you your first kiss, it would’ve been more like this.”
“Ang—”
He sealed his mouth over hers, fitting them together gently, tasting her and pressing a little closer, putting all the love he had for her into it before slowly pulling away. He gazed into her eyes. “Like that.”
She blinked, her dark blue eyes wide.
“I love you, Julia. From the very first day we met.”
She pulled away. “Don’t say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because that just means I ruined everything!” she exclaimed.
He pulled her into his arms. “You didn’t ruin everything. You just sidetracked it.”
She smacked his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me back then?”
“I could’ve done more,” he admitted.
“That would’ve been helpful. I had no clue.”
“We were all to blame,” he said through his teeth, hating the fact that the past still mattered right now, hating the fact that she didn’t say she loved him back.
Her brow furrowed like she was deep in thought. He pulled back to watch her expression. “What are you thinking?”
She shook her head. “Every time I start to feel good, something happens that sends me reeling backwards again. Those letters, a cold breeze like his ghost, a painful memory. I think Brad wants me to suffer for what I’ve done. He died a hero. How can I ever live up to that?”
And how could Angel ever live up to that hero bit either?
He blew out a breath in frustration. “I’d better go,” he said. “Drive safe.”
She gave him a despairing look that broke his heart.
He turned and walked away, one foot after the other, the anguish so overwhelming he went numb. She was right. It was one step forward, two steps back.
And the only person that could truly set them free was gone forever.
~ ~ ~
The next day, Monday, was Valentine’s Day, a special day for Julia’s students with the exchange of valentines and a party with juice boxes and cupcakes, but for Julia it was nothing but a reminder of all the sweet gifts Brad used to give her—stuffed animals, candy, roses—making every Valentine’s Day since a morbid remembrance. She drove home from work, and her thoughts shifted to worry over her friend Ally’s wedding later that night. Ally was super excited, almost too excited, especially compared to the groom.
Julia still felt Ally had rushed into the whole thing. Ally was too young, and her fiancé had barely made it through the wedding rehearsal yesterday. He didn’t seem mature enough to handle marriage. Julia almost told Ally to cancel. But she held her tongue because Ally seemed so happy and, really, it wasn’t like Julia was an expert on marriage.
She’d just pulled into her driveway when her cell phone rang. She’d been getting a lot of calls lately from the realtor about people interested in her house. Julia tried not to be around when people had appointments to tour it.
She grabbed the phone from her purse. “Hello?”
“Hi, is this Julia?” It was a woman’s voice, smooth and sultry.
“Who’s this?”
“It’s Claire Jordan.” There was a pause.
Yeah, right. Claire Jordan the hottest actress in Hollywood? Su-u-ure.
“Very funny,” Julia said. “I’m hanging up now.”
“No, it really is Claire Jordan. From, well, a lot of movies. Have you seen my latest, The Goodbye Girl?”
This was not making any sense. How could Claire Jordan be calling her? It must be a prank.
“Julia? Are you still there?”
“How do I know it’s really Claire Jordan?”
“Your agent, Milly Wachowski, thought it’d be a nice surprise to hear from me. I loved the Fierce trilogy. I read it twice, and I want to buy the movie rights and star in it.”
Julia’s vision blurred, suddenly woozy. No one knew her real name behind the pen name, except her agent and Angel. She gripped the phone tighter. “What? You what?”
Claire went on. “I have my own production company. We turn projects around fast. The last book I got rights to I had in theaters eighteen months later. Did you see Blue Haze?”
Julia’s mouth went dry. Her and Angel on the big screen? Exposed?
“I’m sorry,” Claire said after a long silence. “I know this must be a shock. Why is someone you never met calling you, right? I told Milly I wasn’t sure you’d like that. I heard you’re a very private person and haven’t done any press. I could be the face of the Fierce trilogy and do tons of press for you. I don’t mind the spotlight.” She laughed, a throaty, husky sound.
Julia pressed her fingers to her forehead, willing her brain to work. “How did you find me?”
“I did a little digging, found the agent who handled the sales of your foreign rights, and she was so excited she thought you’d be too. Would you prefer I go through Milly?”
“How much?” Finally her brain was working again. Yes, how much was a good question.
“Three million.”
She couldn’t find her voice. That was so much more than the five years of take-home pay she was trying to save. That was retire-for-life pay. No-worries-in-the-world pay. Full-time author pay. Her heart raced as the implications sank in.
“Julia?”
“Three million?” she barked. Geez, get a hold of yourself.
“Ah, Milly said you might hold out. The highest I can go is four. And you’ll get producer credit.”
“Yes,” she managed. “Yes. That works.”
“Great! I’ll have my guy work out the details with Milly. I’m so thrilled. This is the role of a lifetime! When we get a little further along, I’d love to sit down with you and talk about Mia. What makes her tick, make sure I have a good handle on her motivations.”
That was when it hit her. How would this affect Angel? It would be very difficult for her to keep a low profile if there was a movie starring Claire Jordan. People might connect the dots between her and Angel, Mia and Damon. At the very least there would be speculation. Angel worked with kids and families in sometimes sticky, personal situations. Would they think he was this dark, dominating character instead of the good man with an alpha streak that he really was? Half the stuff she wrote never happened, it was only her darkest, deepest desires played out.
Claire laughed. “I can see I’ve pushed the private Julia as far as I’m going to get right now. But I do hope we can talk again. Would that be okay?”
“Yes, yes, of course. Thank you for your call.”
“Ciao.”
She hung up, somewhere between elation and panic. What should she do? Should she warn Angel? Ask permission? Or would it be possible to keep the whole thing quiet?
She called her agent, Milly, who answered cheerfully. “Hey, it’s my favorite author! Did you talk to Claire Jordan?”
“Yes. Please don’t spring things like that on me. I’m not exactly smooth off the cuff. I need a heads-up.”
“No problem. So what do you think? Movie?”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh, hold on, now.” She squealed. “Just got an email from Claire’s production co
mpany. The offer is four million. Ooh-eee! Julia, let me call you back. I’m going to see if I can get them to five.”
“I—”
Milly hung up.
Julia blinked, staring at her phone as if the answer would be there. She gave herself a mental shake. She didn’t have time to sit around pondering. It was already four thirty, and Ally’s wedding was at seven. The bridal party had to be there by six. She had to shower and get ready.
She rushed inside the house when it hit her what four or, holy crap, five million could mean for her. The freedom she’d have. She could live anywhere, she could spend her days writing up fantasies. That was the most fun she’d had in her life. And to do that for a living?
She did a little dance.
She’d worry about the consequences later. Right now she was looking at a great opportunity. As long as no one got hurt.
Especially the man who had no idea he’d be starring in a public fantasy in a very big way.
Chapter Sixteen
Julia showed up early for Ally’s wedding at Ludbury House, racing upstairs to the bridal suite. Ally had called her in a crying panic. Julia had bit back what she really thought, that Ally had rushed into things, that she was a child bride much like Julia had been, and instead told her to hang tight, and she’d get there as soon as possible. Ally was simply too young to see past the excitement of being a bride. She found Ally in a puddle of silk and tulle, sobbing, the small veil pinned to her blond hair bobbing in time. The other young bridesmaids were fluttering around her, trying to convince her not to worry.
Julia knelt in front of Ally. “Is it Mark?” She’d thought for sure after yesterday’s rehearsal, the groom would bail. Maybe he already had, leaving Ally jilted, all dressed up and nowhere to bride.
“No,” Ally sobbed. “It’s Dean.”
“Your ex?”
“I still love him!” Ally wailed before launching into fresh sobs.
Julia had some experience with this. “Did you tell Dean you still love him?”
“No! I’m hoping it will pass.”
“She just has cold feet,” Hailey announced, marching into the room with a determined look on her face. “Ally, all brides go through this nervous, weepy stage. You look gorgeous. Mark is here in his tux, ready to marry the love of his life. So get to the ladies’ room, wash up, and I will personally fix your makeup.”
Ally nodded and rose to her feet.
“Wait!” Julia said. “Ally, just take a few deep breaths and think about your future. Think about who you want in it. This is forever.” Or it was supposed to be.
Ally nodded. “I will. I’ll think about it.”
Hailey shot Julia a dark look and guided Ally down the hallway to the ladies’ room.
“Think she’ll go through with it?” a bridesmaid with a bored look asked another bridesmaid.
“I hope so,” the other woman replied just as flippantly. “Otherwise I’m spending my Valentine’s Day at a wedding for nothing. I could’ve had a nice dinner out of this.”
“The food is supposed to be good here,” another bridesmaid said. “Shane O’Hare’s catering company is doing it.”
“Ooh,” the women chorused.
Julia left for a short walk, pacing the upstairs hallway, needing some space. She caught sight of Angel in the foyer, wearing a black tux, looking so handsome. She went to the banister. “Hey, you.”
“Hey, darling.” He winked. He was in good spirits today. Probably because, though she’d gone home alone last night after their serious talk that depressed the hell out of both of them, he’d showed up at her house an hour later in full alpha mode. Within minutes of entering her house, he’d entered her, taking her against the wall from behind, her hands pinned under his. She got a hot flash remembering. It was damn exhilarating to have her own personal Damon fantasy come to life. Though after, he’d been brusque and quickly left. But how could she complain when he gave her such pleasure and promised to return? Actually what he’d said was, “I can do this for as long as it takes.” But, of course, he didn’t mean that literally. No man could do that for hours on end, uninterrupted.
The groom and groomsmen were loud and obnoxious, fooling around in the foyer, as young guys could be, but Angel had never been like that. He was a classy guy. People would never look at him the same again if they linked him with Damon. She had to tell him. If Angel said no to the movie, she’d shut down the whole deal. She’d bring it up after the wedding. If there was a wedding.
She raised her voice above the noise. “How’s it going on the groom’s side?”
Angel gestured to the guys, who were now punching each other for no apparent reason.
She smiled. “It’s going like that up here too.”
He made a face like an exaggerated uh-oh, making her laugh.
“Yeah,” she said. “See you in a bit.”
An hour later, the bride had pulled herself together with Hailey’s help, and the bridal party glided downstairs to the elegant notes of the processional music. She could feel Angel’s gaze as she descended the grand staircase just like she’d felt his gaze at her own wedding. Her stomach twisted. She focused on the groom, who was sweating visibly as he recited the wedding vow. She couldn’t see Ally’s face from where she stood. Was she happy?
The mayor turned to Ally for her turn. “And do you, Allison—”
“I can’t do this!” Ally exclaimed, tossing her bouquet and rushing down the small aisle and out the door of Ludbury House. The bouquet of red roses landed at Julia’s feet. She picked it up and stared after her friend. The groom ran out the door after his bride.
And then Hailey flipped out. “I’m going to get a bad rep!” She gestured wildly. “Two Valentine’s Day weddings can not fall through on my watch! They’re going to think I’m bad luck!”
She took off after them on tottering high heels.
Julia felt only relief. Now Ally would have her freedom to be with the man she really loved. If Dean actually wanted her back. In any case, Julia hadn’t been too impressed with Mark. She smoothed a petal of a rose. What if Julia had done that? What if she’d declared herself a cheating sinner? What if she’d told Brad about Angel? What if Angel had objected instead of witnessing her marriage?
Angel appeared at her side and smiled. “You caught the bouquet.”
“It just sorta fell at my feet.”
He glanced around at the chattering guests. “Should we go?”
“Maybe we should stick around in case Hailey persuades them to come back.”
“All right. Let’s sit down.” He gestured toward the back row of the adjacent parlor. They took a seat. The rest of the bridal party wandered toward the back of the house. The small gathering of friends and family in the parlor talked amongst themselves.
What a strange day. First a movie star called her, then she got an offer for millions, and then a runaway bride. She kind of wished she’d had the courage to be a runaway bride too.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Angel asked.
She searched his expression. “I’m not sure.”
“What if you had bailed on your wedding?” he asked.
“What if you had objected?” she returned. “Like when the priest says does anyone object to this marriage?”
His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek. She shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t his fault.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Not accepted.” He grabbed her arm and pulled her up. “Come on, we’re going upstairs to talk privately.”
She followed him without protest. They did need to talk. About a lot of things. He led her to the room where the guys had gotten ready. It wasn’t nearly as messy as the bridal suite. Just some hangers and dry cleaning bags from the tuxes tossed on a chair and the floor.
Angel shut the door with a bang, and she jumped. “What do you mean if I had objected?”
She shifted uneasily. “I mean—” she swallowed “—what if you said no, I won’t
be best man. No, Julia, don’t marry him.”
He advanced on her. “What if you said no, I’m not going to marry Brad. I’m going to marry the right guy.”
“You never asked me to marry you!”
“How could I? You wouldn’t even break up with Brad!”
She stared at the floor. “I couldn’t. He was in the hospital.”
He stood in front of her and tipped her chin up. “He was out two days later.”
She blinked back tears of regret. “I know. I felt too guilty. And then you were gone, and when you finally came back, he was so happy to be with his two best friends. Remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.” He dropped his hand. “I remember watching you cuddle up to him and turn your back on me!”
“I never turned my back on you. I always wanted you with us.”
“With us! Do you hear yourself? What about with you?”
“I was with Brad. How could I just dump him and go with you?”
“Easy.”
“It wasn’t easy! He was shipping out—” She lowered her voice. “It doesn’t matter. Either way what we did was wrong.”
“It was never wrong, Julia! Don’t you get that? You were always supposed to be with me!”
“It was never that clear to me!” she cried.
“Fucking A!” he roared. “I fucking hate this, you hear me?”
“Everyone can hear you! Stop yelling at me!”
He kicked a chair, knocking it over. “I’m so sick of this. You want me, you have to come get me.” He strode toward the door.
“I’m moving to LA!” she yelled at his back. Where the hell had that come from? But now that she thought about it, that wasn’t such a bad idea. No one knew her out there. She could work with the movie people with no judgment, no tie to Angel back home.
He turned. “You’re what?”
“They want to make a movie out of my books.”
“A movie?” he said so quietly her heart caught in her throat. He slowly crossed back to her until he was standing in her personal space. “About me and you fucking?”
“Maybe no one would figure out it was us.”
“Julia.” He said her name like she was pure aggravation. He stepped back and crossed his arms. “I could lose my job. I’m on the front lines with kids in crisis. Do you know the kind of man you’ve made me out to be?”
A Tempting Friendship (Clover Park #10) Page 18