by Tia Fielding
“Bye,” Emil said to the dial tone, which was a testament of how upset Evy truly was. Logically, Emil knew they’d fucked up. The nightmares were a testament to that. He was worried for Makai too. He hoped Makai couldn’t remember the nightmares he was having or that they weren’t bad. Emil didn’t want Makai to suffer any more than he already had.
Chapter Nine
EMIL KNOCKED on the door when Makai was still drinking his coffee. He walked to open with a mug in his hand, probably looking sleep mussed to boot. Oh well.
“Hi, I… uh, I had Mom drop me off before she went back to her baking.” Emil was fidgeting, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and not looking at Makai.
Makai realized he was nervous. “Come in. Do you want coffee?”
“Yeah, sure.” Emil followed him into the kitchen.
Something between them was a bit… off. Well, not just something, Makai knew he’d made this happen by asking for the break.
Once they both had more caffeine, they went to sit on opposite ends of the couch.
“Look, it was a lot,” Makai said thoughtfully. “Talking about it all was…. It made me feel more than I thought I would, afterward. More memories popped up. Nightmares.”
Emil was frowning at his mug. “Maybe this isn’t—”
Makai’s heart started to beat faster. “No. Emil, no.” He waited until Emil finally looked at him before continuing. “This is worth it. You’re worth it. It’s going to be a learning curve, but I want to have a chance to be us.”
Emil’s lower lip somehow ended up between his teeth and Makai wanted to tug it out. The silence took forever, it seemed. He was beginning to think that maybe Emil had thought of it, and despite their sporadic texts, he had changed his mind.
“Unless you don’t—”
“No!” Emil looked at him, eyes wide and apologetic. “No, I do want this. I guess… I guess there’s a whole lot of shit we need to deal with.”
“But we have time, right?” Makai hoped so, so much they had time.
“Yeah, we do.” Emil looked at him and smiled shyly. Then he seemed to deem the subject done for now. “So, what do we need to do to prepare for the horde?”
MAKAI RUBBED salt and pepper on the steaks he’d promised to grill for the people currently working down at the boat shed.
A huge dumpster dwarfed his little parking space, and he’d parked his truck halfway on the grass by the side of the house. All the people who’d come over had shared rides, so there were only three other cars neatly parked on the side of the dirt road leading to his place.
He’d been introduced to the deputies—Erin, Jason, and the guy who had grunted his name was Mark—and the couple of firefighters who had apparently been there during the rescue mission—Lucas and Gray. Sheriff Newman was there, too, overseeing the whole thing.
Emil’s mother, Nora, was going to drop by, and Erin had warned that her sister, Emil’s therapist, Evy, was going to come by as well. Then Emil had added that Lotte and Joie would probably come by, too, and Makai had started to feel claustrophobic.
He appreciated the help, he did. He knew it was the right thing to do to let them help, and cooking for them was easy. He’d grilled enough with his dad that he hadn’t forgotten how. There was chicken for those who wanted it and steaks for the rest.
Emil had offered to help with making huge bowls of salad—bowls on loan from Mrs. Newman—and Makai expected him to come to do all the chopping soon.
Silence reigned over the yard with everyone down at the boat shed but for the occasional chatter of people going back and forth to the dumpster with a wheelbarrow filled with rubble carried through the open window.
Emil was making sure everyone stayed hydrated and there were enough water bottles in the huge cooler Jason had brought for them to use. Mouse sat on the kitchen counter, because the window was the only one where she could see what was going on in the yard. Makai let her stay there for now, knowing she’d go to the babies soon. She wasn’t interested in treading on anything, more like she looked offended whenever Makai moved something too close to her seat.
A happy, high voice came from the yard, and when Makai looked out, Joie walked toward the house with their mother and Emil in tow.
Makai washed his hands and put the steak plate in the fridge just in case Mouse got adventurous and went out.
“Makai!” Joie ran to him, then hugged him hard. “I missed you!”
The feeling that bowled over Makai surprised him with its power. He felt choked up as he hugged Joie back. “Missed you too, kid,” he admitted, and when he looked up, he saw Lotte and Emil looking at them fondly.
“Mom and I made ice pops!” Joie—or Joy, now that Makai got a closer look at what she was wearing—said and pointed at the small cooler Emil was holding.
“Ice pops, huh?”
“Yeah, we’re gonna take them to everyone, but Mom said I need to hold someone’s hand when we go there.” She spoke in a serious voice now, then looked up at Makai. “Can I hold your hand, please?”
Jesus, the kid was going to kill him. “Sure, let’s go,” Makai choked out.
Lotte hugged him briefly in passing. “Hi,” she whispered, and Makai nodded at her, unable to speak a word.
Joy didn’t have that problem. She kept on a chatter all the way down to the shore and then to the edge of the forest patch. There, she stopped talking—and walking.
“Joy, what’s wrong?” Lotte asked from behind them.
“I… uh…,” Joy hesitated.
Makai got it. He crouched down on her level. “Hey, Joy.” When her concentration was back on him, he smiled at her. “It’s okay. I haven’t been there, either. Can we go together?”
“Y-yeah, okay,” she said in a quiet voice.
When he stood up, she looked at him and held up her arms. Makai picked her up and propped her on his hip, hiding a wince when the stitches pulled in his back. “Okay, here goes,” he murmured, and together they went along the path until the hustling and bustling sounds were obvious. “Ready?” he asked, and she nodded bravely.
Makai stepped out of the shade of the trees and into the space where the others were working.
Sheriff Newman was the first one to notice them. “Hey, lady,” he called out cheerily and came to them. “How you feeling, Joy?”
“I’m okay,” she answered without any visible shyness. “Now ask Makai!” she commanded, making the nearby adults chuckle.
“So, Makai, how are you feeling?” The sheriff’s eyes twinkled with amusement, and Makai could see some Emil in him.
“I feel pretty good too,” he answered. “How’s everything going in here?” He nodded toward the remnants of the shed.
“We need about an hour, and then we’re done.”
“We brought you some popsicles,” Lotte said and took the cooler from Emil.
“Ice pops!” Joy screamed out, and Makai lowered her down on the ground. They remembered they were supposed to be holding hands at the same time and almost slapped their hands together. Joy giggled, and Makai laughed too. He hadn’t felt levity like this in… well, he preferred not to think about it.
“So, what flavor do you have in there?” Sheriff Newman asked Joy who was opening the cooler with one hand.
“We made strawberry and orange ones, and the others are blueberry and lemon.”
“Can I have a strawberry and orange one, please?” Sheriff Newman asked, and Lotte took over, giving him one from a Tupperware container.
“Blueberry and lemon for me,” Makai said, and Emil wanted one too.
“Come get your popsicles!” Lotte called to the others, and the deputies and firemen stopped what they were doing and came to raid the cooler.
Something about Mark felt off to Makai, but Emil had warned him that the guy was a homophobe in one of the texts they’d exchanged during the week.
People sat on folding chairs someone had brought in for break time, and those who got there late and missed on a chair happily s
at on boulders and tree stumps and just chatted and enjoyed their popsicles. Emil had told him to keep an eye on Lotte and Jason because he believed there was something going on between them, and now that Makai knew what to look for, he could see it too.
“Makai, can I show Mouse and the babies to Mommy?” Joy, who had been eating her popsicle while never leaving touching distance to her mother or Makai asked.
“Sure, remember the rules, and make sure Mouse doesn’t get out, okay?” Makai smiled at them.
“I also need to pee,” Joy whispered very loudly, and everyone—except for Mark—hid their smiles. Instead, Mark chose not to hide his sneer.
Luckily Lotte and Joy were already turned away and missed it. The sheriff didn’t, though. Everyone got back to work, Erin and Mark being the last ones by the cooler with Makai, the sheriff, and Emil.
Emil, probably because he could be a bit of an asshole, looked at Makai with something wicked in his gaze. “Wasn’t Joy’s dress really pretty?”
Makai, playing along, nodded. “Yeah, I liked the color. And her braids were awesome.”
Mark huffed, and the sheriff, who was in tune with what his son was trying to do, ignored it for now. Erin seemed to understand what was going on, so she smiled at Makai and Emil. “I think it’s called halo braids, the way her hair is today.”
“Oh yeah, I think I’ve read it somewhere too,” Emil agreed. Then, being the little hellion he was, he smirked. “I gotta remember to find some of the nail polish I promised to get her. I have old ones I don’t use anymore. She saw me with some a while back and got really into the idea.”
Mark finally seemed to crack. “I don’t get why she’s doing that to her son.”
Makai realized the guy thought his boss was farther away and not right behind him.
“What is she doing?” Erin played innocent.
“Putting a little boy in dresses and letting him have long hair. That’s almost as bad as child abuse!”
“You do know there’s actual scientific proof of there being more than two genders and that gender identity, sex, and sexuality are three different things?” Emil asked casually.
“Even if that’s true, it’s not like a kid that young would know anything about those things!”
“So what you’re saying is that Lotte is a bad mother for letting her child express their gender identity in this way?” Makai raised a brow at Mark.
“Yes! She’s gonna turn that boy queer and—”
“And what, exactly, would there be wrong with Joie being homosexual?” the sheriff asked in a forced calm tone from right behind Mark’s back.
For a cop, the guy had no situational awareness. Makai didn’t feel bad for him.
“Uh, I mean—”
“What you mean is that there’s something wrong about people who aren’t straight, right?”
“That would be me,” Emil said, lifting a hand and wiggling his fingers at Mark.
“And me,” Makai added his own cheery wave.
“Guess what, Mark,” Erin said and smirked at her colleague. “That’d be me too.”
“While I am pretty positive I’m heterosexual, my son isn’t,” Sheriff Newman said in a dangerous tone.
Mark was starting to look a bit green.
One of the firemen pushed the wheelbarrow to them and seemed to notice the weirdness going on. “What’s up?” he asked, and Erin turned to him.
“Oh hey, Gray, we’re just talking about how Mark thinks there’s something wrong with people who aren’t straight,” she said in a conversational tone that made Makai snicker on the inside.
Gray stopped, looked at Mark, and shook his head. “Dude. My sister is gay, and my uncle too. What’s with this bigoted shit? You got some issues with your own sexuality?”
Mark sputtered and was about to turn and walk off when the sheriff took a firm hold of his forearm.
“Deputy Forrest,” he said in a deadly tone. “If you choose to continue thinking this way, instead of educating yourself and opening your eyes, I expect you to keep your mouth shut around my family and everyone else in this town your words might hurt. And if I ever hear about you pulling this shit while on duty, there will be repercussions. Am I making myself clear?”
Mark tensed his jaw, face reddening when he nodded. “Yes, sir.”
To Makai’s surprise, the sheriff looked at him next, a question in his expression. Then it hit him what the man was doing.
“I would appreciate it if you would leave my property. I will not have myself, Erin, Emil, and especially not Joy, treated with hostility and prejudice,” he said evenly, feeling backed up by the others standing there.
The sheriff let go of Mark’s arm before he had time to break out of the hold, and the deputy marched away without saying a word.
“I’m sorry he’s an asshole,” Erin said, grimacing.
“Hey, not your fault, only his,” Makai reassured her.
“If he gives any of you or anyone you know trouble, just let me know. I won’t tolerate that sort of shit in this town,” Sheriff Newman said firmly, and everyone nodded.
Emil clapped his hands. “Okay, I think it’s time for me to go chop some stuff.” They’d been down at the shore for a while.
“Right, I’m going to go fire up the grill. Forty-five minutes?” Makai asked the sheriff, who nodded.
“I think we can pull that off.”
“Excellent!”
Makai grabbed Lotte’s cooler, and he and Emil walked after Gray, the fireman who was on his way to the dumpster.
“This is a really nice place, Makai,” Gray said over his shoulder.
“I think so too. Need to paint the house and the indoors need some work, but it’s okay. I have time.”
“Do you need help with the painting?”
“Nah, not really.”
“I already volunteered. I think we can do it with just the two of us,” Emil piped up. He seemed a little wary of Gray, who was a virtual stranger. Makai understood but got only good vibes from Gray, so he wasn’t going to worry.
“Just let me know if I can help.” Gray pushed the wheelbarrow up the hill, and when they got to the middle of the yard, he glanced at Emil and Makai. “You two together?”
Makai saw Emil flush red and look away. He decided to answer as truthfully as possible. “We’re working on it.”
LOTTE AND Joy left before the eating started because they had a standing appointment for Saturday meals with Lotte’s ex’s parents, who were apparently much better behaved about their grandchild’s gender than Joy’s father was. Nobody mentioned Mark’s behavior to them, and Makai thought it for the best.
It turned out that Evy wasn’t able to make it after all, and after talking about Emil’s call with her, Makai couldn’t help but to feel relief. He was barely ready to meet Emil’s mom: his therapist, nice as she sounded, was a bit… different.
Nora Newman arrived in a cinnamon-scented whirl of efficiency, and Emil, who was chopping cucumbers, chuckled at Makai’s expression.
“So, cake!” Nora said after introducing herself to Makai. “I have some lemon bars in the car, if one of you would get them for me?”
The cake was massive, and she’d barely been able to carry it in. Makai suspected she’d still taken the cake instead of the lemon bars because she didn’t trust anyone else to carry it.
Emil dumped the last of the cucumbers into a bowl and said, “I’ll get them!” He grinned at Makai when Nora wasn’t looking.
Once Emil was gone, Nora whirled around from where she was setting the cake on the counter and looked at Makai. “I’m pretty sure that you have something to do with the fact that my son has had screaming nightmares three nights in a row.”
Makai blinked at her, feeling a bit panicky all of a sudden. He’d known about the first night, but the others…. “I’ve had nightmares, too, ever since we talked about stuff, but I didn’t know he had them on more than one night,” he said quietly, feeling cowed. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Emil, a
nd something in his expression seemed to thaw the cautious iciness in Nora, because she stepped forward and put a hand on his arm.
“Are you okay? I know you don’t have family here, and I gather that you’ve been through some horrible things yourself.” And there it was, the caring that Makai had seen in her husband too. It couldn’t have been more obvious where Emil got his personality.
“Uh, I’m… okay. Ish.” He admitted the last bit hesitantly.
“If there’s anything you need, okay? You’ve changed Emil for the better already, and it’s been such a short time. I know my husband… well, he can’t help it. I think all cops are wired that way. He’s trying, though. He can tell Emil is feeling better, outside the nightmares.”
“I wish I’d known it would get this bad for us. I would’ve postponed the conversation somehow, no matter how much we wanted to have it.”
“Hindsight and all that.” Nora waved her hand. “Look, the Newman men, they’re… they’re complex creatures. I think—”
Her words were cut off by Emil opening the door and closing it with his foot. The container of lemon bars was massive.
“Can I get a hand here?” Emil groaned theatrically, and Nora went to help him out.
Makai went outside with the huge platter of meat to start grilling, and the Newmans sorted out the large foldout tables someone had brought over.
It felt almost weird how easy everything seemed with these people. Even the ones he’d never met before were easygoing and nice. With Mark gone, everyone chatted, and with Emil by his side and nobody looking at them askance, Makai felt like he was among friends, even the beginnings of a chosen family.
The boat shed was gone, and once someone came to get the dumpster after everyone had left and the road was clear for the bigger vehicle needed for the job, Makai felt drained.
Everyone had helped him clean up after the meal, and Nora had insisted on doing the few dishes that weren’t disposable.