“I don’t believe she was afraid of you. She merely wanted her freedom to continue her liaisons. She used you as an excuse. And you’ve been demonizing yourself for far too long.”
“It is sweet of you to say.” He cupped the side of her face, his gaze softening. “And I’m glad you care so much about my boys.”
Angry, she surged to her feet. He followed warily.
“You think I’m here just because of your boys?” She shook her head, frustrated. “Yes, I’ve grown to care about them. But if I was truly worried, I would have grabbed those lads and fled.”
“I can’t have children, Beth.” He seemed to grow annoyed. “It’s not possible—”
“Neither can I!”
His gaze turned hard, suspicious. “Then why are you here?”
Her hands fisted at her sides. She knew she was laying her heart out on a platter. She could leave, deny the truth, or…“Because I care about you, you stupid man!”
“I’m not a man, Beth. I’m a beast. A monster.”
“No.” Desperate, she gripped the soft linen of his shirt. The idiot wouldn’t relent. “I know monsters, Nate. I was with a monster, a real monster, for years. You’re more human than most men I’ve known. Certainly more human than my husband.”
“Beth…”
Without warning, Beth did something she’d never done before and kissed a man. Oh she’d been kissed, and had kissed in return, but never had she taken the first step. She threw her arms around Nate’s neck and pressed her lips to his.
Nate growled, his arms gripping her waist and jerking her up close to his hard body. She felt every muscled plane, every beat of his heart, even the long, hard ridge of his erection. She wanted him. Yes, the morning in the inn had been lovely, but it hadn’t been enough. She wanted him inside her, erasing the memory of her husband.
So caught up in the kiss, Beth was barely aware when Nate pushed her back with his body. Suddenly, she found herself falling onto the bed, Nate’s form following. His knee pressed between her legs parting her thighs as his hips rocked into her. With a groan, Beth arched up against his steel cock. Her entire body throbbed with desire, her pulse pounding in places where she didn’t even realize she had a heartbeat.
“Why do you do this to me?” he whispered against her mouth. “Make me believe there can be more.”
Do this to him? He was the one who tempted her! Who destroyed her every reserve!
His hands found her skirts and as he kissed a trail down her neck, his fingers pulled up her gown, exposing her legs to the chill air seeping through the weathered cottage. Oh yes, she wanted him, would have helped him undress if her fingers weren’t busy sliding into the silky strands of his hair.
“Oh Beth, my sweet Beth.”
Although it had only been a few days since the inn, she hungered for him. Had dreamt of his touch. Couldn’t concentrate during the day, wondering if she’d see him.
“Kiss me, Nate.”
He pulled away from her neck and found her mouth. Their lips crushed together in a heated kiss that left her breathless, aching. When Nate’s tongue thrust against her mouth, she opened eagerly for him. Beth wrapped her arms around him, sliding her hands up his muscled back, urging him on.
And while they kissed, his hands slid up her thighs, found the slit in her drawers and touched her where she ached so desperately. She wanted him touching her, kissing her, forever. His finger slid between her folds, and into her tight sheath. Beth cried out, arching her back. Their desperation hung heavy in the air. Shivers of delight danced across her body. His finger pulled out, then in again. Each thrust sent her body and mind spinning.
“I want you, Nate,” she whispered, reaching toward his trousers for the hard length of his erection. “Please.”
“Don’t.” Before she could touch him, he pulled back, those beautiful eyes practically glowing. “If you touch me, I won’t be able to stop. We can’t do this.”
“Why?” she demanded. “You’re still you, Nate, no matter what you think.”
“No.” He grabbed her wrists and shoved her arms above her head, his body holding her pinned to the bed. He might have denied her, but she could still feel his erection pressing eagerly to her femininity. Nate wanted her as much as she wanted him. “Don’t ever think I’m the same person, Beth. I would kill you just as soon as look at you. I don’t know if I can maintain control if I take you.”
She shook her head, searching his haunted gaze for the truth. How could he reject their passion when the very scent of their sex hung heavy in the air? “You’re not a monster, Nate.”
Closing his eyes, he sighed. “Beth, I have killed innocent people in my animal form. Do you not understand that?” He opened his eyes, the pain in his gaze like a punch to her gut. “If you ever come near me while I’m in wolf form, if my boys are ever near me…I will kill you, I would kill them.”
She shook her head, but he would listen no more.
Before she could stop him, he pulled away and headed toward the door. “Go back to Grayson and Meg, Beth. You’ll be safe there.”
Like that, he was gone, leaving her behind.
Defeated, Beth lay upon the bed, staring unblinkingly up at the dusty beams. Her husband had never hurt her heart like Nate had. She brought her knees to her chest, rolling onto her side into a tight ball.
She had told Nate how she felt, had laid her feelings out in the open, yet he hadn’t actually told her if he cared. Did they have the connection she thought, or was she wrong about a man yet again? Blast it all, why did she have the horrible feeling that before this was over he was going to break her heart?
Chapter 15
Nate hated social gatherings of any kind. He hated the crowds, the falseness of it all, the overly polite society that smiled while stabbing each other in the back. If he had known that Grayson was going to invite half of England he never would have accepted. Now, he was stuck. Good and well. He lifted his scotch and downed a gulp. God save him from the tittering women and pompous, preening men of the ton.
But then he hadn’t always been such a recluse. He couldn’t even blame the beast within him for wanting to hide away. No. It was an exhaustion with society in general. He’d seen men killed in battle. Hell, he’d killed men. Innocents suffered. People starved. Women were forced into sexual servitude daily. It made it incredibly difficult to listen to Lady Whelan complain about her maid being late with breakfast. Or Lord Harding upset that his new Wellington boots had been destroyed from yesterday’s rain.
“Good evening.” Millie sidled up next to him, one of few visiting guests he could stand. But then she wasn’t normal, being a vampire and all. “Don’t you look dapper.”
“Millie.” He bowed. “Is it just me or are there too many humans here?”
She sighed, glancing around the crowded room. “Well, they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, apparently, so we must learn to deal with them. Besides,” she grinned, “they’re sort of important to me.”
His cravat felt tight, too tight. Like a lad just learning to dress, he had to resist the urge to tug at the material. “No getting away from them. Is that what you’re saying?”
She shrugged a delicate shoulder. Elegant in silver, she was probably the most beautiful woman in the room. More than one man watched her with barely concealed lust. “Apparently, as we seem to be marrying into them.”
They both turned their attention to Grayson and Meg standing close together across the room. He’d never seen his friend so content, so bloody happy. Not even in the first few weeks had Nate been as in love with his wife as Grayson obviously was with Meg. Oh he’d been attracted to her, he’d enjoyed her, but to look at her as if she was all that mattered? Never.
Grayson’s hand rested at the small of his wife’s back, as if he couldn’t stop touching her. When she laughed, he smiled. When she frowned, he stiffened, as if preparing to do battle with whomever had offended her. Grayson watched Meg like a man would watch an angel float down from heaven, with f
ascination, adoration and slight desperation.
“Repulsive,” Millie said.
Nate laughed, but sobered quickly enough. Good God, is that how he looked when he gazed at Beth? He had a sickening feeling he did. Strangely, he wasn’t as upset as he should have been. Before he thought better, he searched the room for her. But no, Beth wouldn’t be here. She was a lady, she deserved to be at the bloody gathering, but she was tucked away at the top of the house.
Millie gave him a reluctant grin. “No, I’m happy for him, truly.”
He’d always thought Millie and Grayson would end up together, and apparently Millie had as well. But now that Grayson was with Meg they seemed completely right, as if puzzle pieces that had finally fallen into place. Grayson needed someone sweet, yet strong, like Meg. Someone who would keep him human, but be able to deal with his strange world.
“And what about you?” Millie turned those eerie eyes toward him. “Anyone?”
He looked away. “You know it would be impossible.”
“Of course it wouldn’t.”
He glanced warily at her.
Millie grinned, knowing exactly how much she annoyed him. “The governess? Or Beth, as I knew her.” She rolled her eyes, taking a glass of champagne from the passing tray. “Please, you’re practically in heat when she’s near.”
“Lovely,” Nate drawled out. His skin felt tight, his body hot. Was the room too warm, or was it his imagination? Perhaps it was thoughts of Beth that kept him heated and aware. So very aware. Aware of his own heart thumping. Aware of the blood pumping through his veins. Aware of everything.
“Dance with me?”
“No.”
“Well, at least you have a good excuse,” she said drolly.
He didn’t want to dance with Millie. He didn’t want to dance with any woman here. Only Beth. She’d be elegant, he could imagine her swaying to the music. “My dear, there are any number of men who would gladly give their left arm to dance with you. Find one of them.”
“Jason is missing.”
He could barely pay attention to what she said. The heat in the room had become stifling. Why did no one else seem to notice? “Your cousin?”
“Yes.” She frowned. “He’s disappeared before, but never this long. Five days.”
Unable to help himself, he pulled at his collar. “That is odd, even for that rake.”
“I’m starting to get worried.”
“Don’t be.” The candlelight above spun. Shite. Something wasn’t right. The tenacious grip he had on reality was starting to fade. “I’m sure he’s well.”
“Nate,” Millie said, frowning. “Are you well?”
He nodded, forcing himself to smile. “Of course.”
“Here.”
She handed him the champagne. The orchestra started to play, the sound too loud. He drank quickly, but the champagne did little to relieve the burning ache crawling through his body. Shite. He knew the feeling well. It wasn’t a full moon…which meant another wolf was near. He glanced around the room at the many laughing faces. Who?
“There’s something about these humans that I suppose makes us seem more…human,” Millie said. “Perhaps that’s why we fall for them. We’re attracted to their vulnerability. Their hope.”
“Or maybe they make us feel as if we have a soul,” he muttered.
She smiled, a bit sadly. “Perhaps.”
Shite, he couldn’t take it a moment longer. He felt ready to burst from his clothing. The heat in the room sucked the very air from his lungs. “Something’s wrong.”
A small crease formed between her brows. “What is it?”
“I feel…odd.”
“Odd,” she said, lowering her voice. “You’re sweating. Nate, are you turning?”
“I might be.”
“Hell.”
“Precisely.”
Her eyes flashed, glowing. “Which means someone here…”
“Is a werewolf.” An uninvited wolf. He handed her the empty champagne glass. “I need air.”
Before she could protest, Nate had stalked across the room, heading toward the open doors and the cool relief of night. On the stone patio, he breathed deeply the crisp air and attempted to calm his racing heart. Where the hell was the bastard?
The children were playing in the twilight, dancing around a fire like little heathens while the servants made sure they behaved as much as possible. His boys were so amused, so free, they didn’t even notice him standing there. His unease flared. Where was Beth? None of them were safe out here. They needed to be inside. Damn, he should have been on better guard, but had assumed whatever wolf had made him change was merely passing through.
Hanna darted by, chasing after a ball, her innocent laughter trailing behind her. Human or not, the children didn’t judge, they merely played, appreciating the gift of life and each other. He had known such innocence once, a long time ago. It had been years since he’d appreciated the world around him. Since he cared. But now…now he wondered if he could have a life, a family…and all because of Beth. Where the bloody hell was the woman?
He rested his hand on the wall that went around the patio, needing the support. They should gather the children and send them to the safety of the nursery. Why? Why was he changing? He glanced back at the party, praying the other wolf, whomever he was, would saunter out of Nate’s territory, and soon. Not one person inside seemed ill at ease, no other man or woman appeared to be in the middle of turning. Where was the beast? Unless…the animal wasn’t inside, but out upon the grounds.
Frantic, Nate returned his gaze to the gardens. His boys still lounged around the fire, but Hanna hadn’t returned. Heart thundering, he started down the steps.
“Nate?” Grayson called out, following him. “Millie said there’s something wrong.”
“Hanna,” he managed.
Grayson didn’t question him, merely darted down the steps faster than any human would be able to run. They rounded a cropping of yew trees and found the child standing near the edge of the woods. Nate’s unease didn’t fade. If anything his hackles rose.
“Hanna?” Grayson called out.
But she didn’t react, merely stared mutely at the dark trees, her ball in hand. What was wrong with her? And there was something wrong. Nate could sense the very current in the air. He searched the trees while Grayson went to the child.
His heart pounded so hard, he felt like it might actually crack his ribcage. Someone was out there. A wolf. His muscles cramped as he stumbled toward the woods. Gritting his teeth, he continued on, hands fisted at his sides as he resisted the urge to turn. He would not relent, he could control the animal within.
Grayson knelt before the child. “Hanna?” She didn’t respond, merely continued to stare at the woods where the man lurked. “Hanna?”
“Someone was here,” Nate managed. The very air seemed to crackle, like coals popping in a fireplace. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. “A wolf.”
“Hanna, look at me.” Grayson gripped the girl’s shoulders and forced her to meet his gaze. “What’s wrong?”
His voice jerked her from her stupor. Hanna dropped the ball and lunged into Grayson’s arms. The child’s fear was palpable. Nate’s nostrils flared, his muscles stretching, bunching under his skin.
“Hanna, please,” Grayson said, gently rubbing her back. “Tell me what happened?”
But she merely whimpered, the sound muffled against his chest. A heartbreaking sound of terror and bewilderment.
“It was a man,” Nate said, searching the woods. He took in a deep, trembling breath, flexing and fisting his hands, attempting to ease the ache of his muscles. “Yes, male. He headed north.”
“Beth’s husband.” She pulled back, looking up at Grayson with wide, shocked eyes. “I know we aren’t supposed to admit we know her, but I saw him.”
Nate stiffened, his heart leaping into his throat.
Grayson frowned. “Darling, he’s dead.”
She shook her h
ead. “It was him, I swear it.” She held out her hand, a scrap of paper folded on her palm. “He told me to give you this.”
Grayson’s jaw clenched as he took the paper and unfolded it. A chill coated Nate’s body. No. It was impossible.
Wanted in the questioning of murder…
It was a drawing of Beth.
Nate’s blood went ice-cold. Beth could be in danger. His gaze jumped to the third floor windows, searching for her room. “Beth,” Nate said. “Grayson, get the children inside.”
He didn’t wait for a response but bolted toward the house.
****
One hour.
Beth had one hour to herself and she planned to enjoy it. While the others in the house were waiting on guests, or actually participating in the gathering downstairs, Beth was savoring the few moments she had alone. Meg had wanted her at the gathering, but they’d both known it was a bad idea. She might be recognized.
When Beth had refused to stay on the visitor’s floor, Meg had sent up a bath, silken comforters and a tray laden with treats. If anyone found it odd that Meg had given Beth, a mere servant, so much attention, no one spoke of it. Meg, Beth thought with a grin, was lady of the house and thrived in her new position.
Not that she treated her staff unwell. No, she could see by their devotion to their mistress how kind Meg had been. It didn’t surprise her. One maid had even let it slip that the entire county was clamoring to work for the household, they had such a wonderful reputation. Two days a week off. The family was kind. And because the master was so in love with his wife, no maids had to worry about lecherous advances.
Beth rolled down her stockings, then pulled the shift over her head.
How happy she was that Meg could finally enjoy the comforts of life. She’d worried so about her friend. Now her family would never have to despair over food or shelter. And if Grayson did anything to hurt Meg, well Beth would kill him. What was one more murder charge to add to her list?
Naked, she stepped into the bath. The warmth from the water seeped through her body and into her bones. With a sigh, she sank into the tub. Her chilled flesh immediately pebbled, her numb toes tingling.
A Night of Redemption (The Night Series Book 2) Page 21