“Beth, no more secrets.”
She released the words on a rush of air. “You seemed quite enamored of Millie.”
He drew back and she instantly regretted her comment. Her face burned with utter humiliation. Blimey, she’d all but admitted her envy. She sounded like a perturbed child denied affection.
“Are you jealous, Beth?”
“Of course not.” Thank God he couldn’t see her face. “Women my age do not get jealous. I was merely stating the facts.”
She swore she could sense his grin, and she had the sudden urge to kick him. Of course he found her bitterness amusing. She was practically admitting her infatuation with the man. As if he didn’t know. Surely he must have had some inkling of her desire. But no…it was so much more than mere desire.
“Millie is an old friend.” Her skirts came loose and fell to the ground. Taking her hand, he helped her step from the pool of material. Before she could escape, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, forcing her to face him. “She doesn’t drive me mad. She doesn’t stir my blood. Heat my body with need.”
Lies. He lied. How could Millie not? She was beautiful. More beautiful than any woman Beth had ever seen. “She’s stunning. Any man would be interested in her.”
He drew his knuckles softly down the side of her face, his gaze heating. “Not me. I’m a little more discerning. I prefer someone I can argue with. Yet, someone who has a heart. Someone who cares about my boys as much as she cares about me.”
She gazed into his eyes, attempting to read the truth. No one had ever been so kind, so attentive. No one had made her feel as if she was the only important female left on earth. The only one who mattered.
He reached for the ribbons of her corset and slowly loosened the bindings, but she still felt off balance, light-headed. “Don’t leave, Beth. The boys need you. We need you.”
When he looked at her with such heat in his gaze, how could she ever deny him? Yet still, deep down, there was that resistance. She shook her head, feeling confused and uncertain. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
The corset dropped to the floor and she stood in only her shift and stockings. But her state of undress was barely of concern. She needed to know how he felt, truly and fully, for her. Was it a mere dalliance? A game? A way to relieve boredom? Or maybe he wanted her because she was the only female governess who hadn’t run away from his boys.
He gently pushed her to sitting on the edge of the bed and knelt. “Isn’t it obvious what I want?”
She flushed. He took her foot and pulled off her boot, then the next. Slowly, he slid his hands up under her shift, finding the edge of her stockings. Beth’s breath grew ragged. Carefully, he rolled first the left stocking down her leg, then the right. She struggled to maintain her mind, but found herself falling…falling into his web of seduction all over again.
“I know,” she managed to get out. “You want my body…intimacy.”
Finished, he stood, towering over her. “No Beth, I want you.”
But what did that mean? He wanted her for this morning? Wanted her as his mistress? She frowned, feeling flustered and confused. “I won’t be the sort of woman who hides in the shadows while her lover parades about with other women. Even if I am to be your mistress.”
Nate froze.
Beth shifted on the edge of the bed, feeling uneasy. Had she said the wrong thing? Perhaps this moment was to be a one-time event and he didn’t want her as a mistress.
He shrugged his jacket from his shoulders and tossed it to the chair near the fireplace. “I see.”
What did he see? She clasped her hands tightly together, nervous, anxious. “So if we do agree to this relationship, my lord, you must promise I will be the only woman in your bed.” Heat traveled up her neck and into her cheeks. “If you desire another, merely let me know and we will break things off.”
Watching her intensely, he slowly pulled his cravat loose. “I see.”
Her frustration mounted. “Do we have a deal?”
His long fingers moved down his linen shirt until all the buttons were undone. “A deal.” He pulled the shirt free and tossed it toward the chair. She couldn’t help but glance down at his muscled chest, even while his gaze remained pinned to her. “You want to be my mistress?”
She averted her gaze. “When you say it so boldly like that it’s rather embarrassing.”
He stepped closer, so close the tips of his boots touched the tips of her toes. “Don’t ever be embarrassed in front of me, Beth. You can tell me anything. I will never mock you.”
She tilted her head back and met his gaze. He had no idea how much his words meant. Not one man had ever taken her comments seriously. They’d brushed off what she had said, or worse, called her stupid and silly.
He reached out and brushed his thumb across her lower lip. “I don’t want you as my mistress, Beth.”
She dropped her gaze, but Nate wouldn’t have it. He slid his finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “It’s amazing to me that someone like you, someone who could look so fragile, like a porcelain doll, could be so incredibly strong on the inside.”
No one had ever compared her to a doll.
No one had ever called her strong.
Her husband had waxed poetically when he’d courted her, reading sonnets and such, comparing her to Helen of Troy. And although deep down she’d known that his words rang untrue, she lapped it up, so very eager for the attention. She’d been easy pickings. Nate’s words weren’t as flowery as her husband’s, yet they were honest.
“Then just this one morning together?” she asked, standing.
“No, Beth.” He lowered his head and molded his mouth to hers in a soft, gentle kiss. “Not just one morning. Not just one night.”
Her throat tightened with an emotion she didn’t fully understand. “What are you saying, Nate?”
“I’m saying, we need to find the man who gave Hanna that note and find out for sure if your husband is dead.”
She shook her head, confused by his change of conversation. She felt as if she’d missed something very important. Something he hadn’t said. “He can’t be alive. It was a mistake.”
He cupped the side of her face, a gentle touch. “Perhaps it was.”
“Yes.” She nodded, clinging to his response. “It must be.”
He brushed aside the tear that managed to slide down her cheek. “Please, don’t cry. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”
But she, more than anyone, knew promises could easily be broken. Nate was no God, just a mere human. “I don’t want to think about him, or the note, or anyone. Not right now. We have this moment, Nate. No one knows we’re here. We have these few stolen moments to be together.”
“I want you too.” His jaw clenched. “But if we’re found, your reputation—”
She released a harsh laugh. “You forget that I’m wanted for murder. How can my reputation possibly be ruined any further?” Beth pressed her palms to his chest, curling her fingers into the crisp hair that covered the muscled planes.
He stood there so tall, so strong, so proud that she swore her heart expanded. She didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, or even today. But now…in this moment, at least she could enjoy her time. It had been so very long since she’d been able to do what she wanted.
“In this moment,” he said. “These stolen moments, I merely want to enjoy…”
“Enjoy what?”
“You,” he whispered.
“Am I really so irresistible?” she teased.
“You have no idea. None.” His lips found hers in an uncompromising kiss.
He was a man who put as much passion into kissing as he did his love-making. His lips were firm, his tongue like velvet as it swept into her mouth. Heat curled down her body, all the way to her toes. She’d never felt this way with her husband. Never felt this way with any other man. When she was with Nate she thought of no one, nothing, but him and the feelings he stirred
within. Time stood still. There was no pain, no sorrow, no fear.
She soaked in his scent, his warmth, his very essence. Would she ever grow bored of him? Never. Impossible. He gripped her hair, tilting her head and deepening the kiss. When his tongue wrapped around hers, she thought she’d die on the spot. The heated ache between her legs intensified, thrumming and demanding attention. His heart beat so hard she could feel it pound against her own chest. The beats became one as their breaths mingled.
Nate tore his mouth from her, his eyes practically glowing. The animal was there…deep within. But that beast was part of Nate, his very soul. She did not fear him. The only one she’d ever feared was her entirely too human husband.
“I want you, Nate,” she whispered, her voice quivering with need, nervousness and desire. “Please.”
With a growl, he rested his hands on her waist and spun her around so her bottom pressed intimately to his hard cock. With his breath warm against her ear he slid his hand over her waist, down between her thighs. Beth gasped, trembling. The strength radiating from his body should have terrified her. He found her shift and he pulled the material up…up, over her head.
Beth bit her lower lip to keep from crying out in protest. She’d been naked before, she would not shy away in modesty now. Only his trousers separated their bodies, but through the material the hard ridge of his erection pressed against her backside.
She gripped his forearms. “Touch me, Nate.”
“You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to.” His hands slid over her waist, down her flat stomach and toward that nest of hair shielding her femininity. Slowly, he moved so slowly she thought she’d die from want. His touch sent a fever through her body, enflaming her skin and making her move restlessly against him, attempting to ease the ache.
“Are you hot for me, Beth? Are you wet and aching?”
Oh God, yes. Yes. Yes! She leaned back against his broad chest, nestling his erection against her backside. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could remain standing, for already her knees trembled, her legs weak. He slid his finger through her curls to the swollen bud. Beth groaned. Her heart faltered as his finger slid upward. And suddenly he was pressing there…gently, lightly, but it was more than enough. Lightning branched through her, a storm of erotic desire that took over her body, mind, soul.
She cried out, arching her back. “Nathan, please!”
How frustrated she’d been throughout her entire marriage, knowing there must be more to the bedding process than pain and heartache. And now here it was…everything she’d imagined, everything she’d heard whispered by the more loose women of the ton. Pure bliss. Heaven.
“Hold still,” he warned. “Don’t move.”
As if she would go anywhere. He stepped back and she wavered on weak legs, biting her lip to keep from demanding he continue his assault on her senses. It took only a moment for her muddled mind to realize that he was undressing. Naked, he stepped closer, wrapped an arm around her waist and drew her back into his erection.
His thick, hard cock nestled intimately against her bottom. Beth whimpered as his fingers came around front again and slid between her wet folds. The sensations were too strong, too much. Did he have any idea what he did to her?
“So lovely.” He parted the folds and brushed his thumb over her sensitive nub.
White-hot pleasure shot through her body leaving her clinging to his arms and desperate for more. “Nathan!”
“Christ, you feel good,” he whispered, his breath warm against the back of her neck. He shoved his knee between her legs parting them. “So damn good.”
His steel erection slid between her thighs. How badly she wanted to touch him, to explore the muscles of his chest and stomach, to rub her feet over the crisp hair of his calves, to stroke the velvety hardness of his cock. She wanted to appreciate his male form in a way she’d never wanted to with her husband.
“Hands on the bed, Beth,” Nate demanded.
“Why?” she whispered, confused.
“Do it.”
Dizzy with desire and eager for more, she did what he said and rested her hands on the bed, bending slightly at the waist. She didn’t have time to be embarrassed. The moment the thick tip of his erection pressed to the entrance of her femininity, she was gone, lost on a wave of pleasure. She hadn’t even realized that a man could come into her from behind, until he gripped her waist. Her husband had always mounted her from the front, found his release and left her wanting and lonely.
“Nate,” she said hesitantly, unsure.
He thrust fully into her, deeply, and completely.
Beth cried out as a tingling awareness swept over her skin. But he wasn’t done. Gripping her hips, Nate slid back out, then thrust into her again. So deeply she thought she would die, right then and there. Never had she felt so utterly close to someone else. So utterly wonderful and wicked at the same time. Nate was larger, longer, thicker than her husband had been, yet he fit her perfectly, entering her completely, utterly. Each thrust sent her spiraling, spinning, closer and closer to that edge of release.
Fully imbedded within her, he leaned over and gently bit the back of her neck, scraping the sensitive skin with his teeth and sending a shiver down her spine. “Tell me you want me.”
“Yes,” she gasped into the bed covers. “Yes, yes.”
He pulled out and spun her around. Weak with need, she was barely aware when he pushed her back onto the bed, his hard body following. “I want you, Beth.” Those beautiful eyes glowed intense and fierce. “You have no idea how badly I need you.”
His words sent a warm wave of love pulsing through her chest. Beth wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close and nuzzling his erection against her lower belly. She wanted to get lost within the pleasure of his body. Lost within his kiss, his touch. Nate nudged her thighs apart with his knee. Nothing had ever felt as right as being in his arms. And never would she regret the sensual moments between them.
She’d been close, so damn close and she was ready to find release…release with Nate. The tip of his erection nudged between her folds. She was intensely aware of every touch, every kiss, every harsh pant of his breath. Longing and desire danced over her body, whispering words of encouragement. While his lips moved across her jaw line, his fingers slid into her hair, completely destroying her loose bun.
She could barely draw air, but oddly breathing didn’t seem to matter at the moment. Nothing mattered but Nate. His muscled, hard body so at opposites with hers, aroused her in ways she’d never imagined. She was dizzy from his scent, his kisses. Dizzy with the want of him. This time there was no one to interrupt. He would have her completely.
She reached up, brushing her fingertips over his lips. “Take me, Nate. Show me what it can be like.”
With a growl, he lowered his head and kissed her as he thrust into her sheath. Beth gasped into his mouth, arching her back and taking him fully. She was starving for his affection, for his tenderness. As his tongue wrapped around hers, he lifted his hips, thrusting over and over, branding her with his body. Beth’s nails dug into his back and with each thrust the heat between them flared to unbearable.
“Please, Nate,” she begged against his lips. “Please want me…just this once.”
“Beth, I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you. From the moment you swept into my study, all righteous indignation and impertinence.”
His words practically made her come. The entire world seemed to fade away as they rocked together in a rhythm all their own. Each thrust sent heat whirling through her body, sending her spinning into the skies toward that all-encompassing bliss. She breathed deeply his scent, then kissed his salty shoulder trying to memorize every detail, every moment.
“You feel like heaven,” he murmured, finding her lips.
Her nails bit into his back, the weight of his body the only thing keeping her grounded. “Please, Nate. Please.”
“Hell.” He rocked forward, meeting her thrust for thrust. Every stroke
was like magic. Every moan that slipped from her lips like a wicked song of pleasure. The ache deep within her core flared to life.
Beth cried out just as Nate surged forward and found his own release, spilling his hot seed. The joy that rushed through her was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. This is what lovemaking was supposed to be. Not pain and shame, but pleasure for both.
For the first time in her life Beth had found pure bliss with a man. And for the first time in years she felt a moment’s peace as Nate collapsed atop her.
It was unfortunate that peace would not last.
Chapter 17
Beth kept her eyes shut, as her body rested back against Nate’s strong form, his arms wrapped protectively around her. The boys would soon be awake, looking for her. Meg would be worried. Servants would probably be searching. Until they found Nate’s room empty…and then they’d probably guess the truth. She could very well be ruined. Life would invade as it always did. Strangely enough, she was finding it hard to care.
She’d savor these last moments for she knew they wouldn’t last. They had lingered in bed as long as they possibly could, cuddling, kissing, touching. Another new experience for her. And something she’d greatly enjoyed. Her husband hadn’t exactly been the loving kind. He’d get what he wanted, what he needed, and leave. And after he’d leave, she’d lay there feeling vulnerable, angry, disappointed and, yes, ashamed.
Although she wasn’t married to Nate there was nothing shameful in their experience. She’d only felt at peace in his arms. Felt cared for. Even loved, as silly as it sounded. Not that she believed he loved her. No. Men didn’t love her. She’d accepted that long ago. They liked her, they used her, but they didn’t love her.
“We’re back,” Nate said softly.
Could she be happy in a life with Nate without love? She sighed and opened her eyes, accepting her fate. She could, and she would if he offered. But he hadn’t offered. In fact, they hadn’t spoken about the future at all.
A Night of Redemption (The Night Series Book 2) Page 23