“I’m sorry, Raven,” he said simply and pulled her in for a hug. He didn’t let go until Raven slowly returned his embrace.
Janetta, coming up the aisle, frowned at them. Drew avoided her, walking forward to sit next to Uncle Theo. Janetta waddled the length of the church to Drew’s side and fanned the envelopes in his face. He waved her away. She shrugged and slid in next to him as several distant cousins made room for them in the second row. They hadn’t been so kind to Raven or Eric, but it really didn’t matter. Her mother knew her heart. God knew her heart. Raven could sit on the roof for all she cared.
“Excuse me.” A mocha-skinned woman with a wrinkled face, and a wig that wasn’t on quite right, tapped Raven on the shoulder.
“Well hello, Ms. Louise,” Raven said, smiling warmly at one of her mother’s co-workers.
“You’re Jaylon’s youngest daughter, aren’t you?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’m Raven.”
“Oh. I’m looking for that other one,” she whispered. “I was told to give my envelope to Janetta only—to make sure it doesn’t get stolen by any other family member.”
Lord, help me to hold my tongue. Lord, help me to keep from wrapping my hands around my sister’s neck. She pointed Janetta out to her. “Thank you for coming, Ms. Louise. It was good seeing you again.”
“Is that what Aunt Janetta told everyone?” Eric asked, holding onto his mother’s wrist.
“I guess so. The money really should go to Drew because he made the arrangements and had to pay out of pocket for the funeral.”
Raven strolled to the front of the church, whispered in Reverend Lowry’s ear, who frowned, then nodded as he looked for Janetta. Raven returned to stand next to Eric.
“Mom, what did you do?”
She winked at him. “You’ll see.”
Moments later, Reverend Lowry took to the pulpit with the church secretary right by his side. “Are there any more cards or declarations?”
Several hands went up.
“Please give them to Ms. Clarke. We wish to acknowledge all of them during the service.”
Janetta’s eyes narrowed as she saw how many people were still holding cards. Reverend Lowry caught up with Janetta and held out his hand for the ones she’d already collected. She refused to release them until Reverend Lowry slapped her hand.
As Janetta made her way back to her seat, Raven made eye contact with her brother, who shook his head in disbelief. She didn’t miss his smirk. She almost smiled back. Several people in that area snickered, but quickly turned somber as the pastor scowled at them.
The service got under way as the choir from Eric’s former high school rendered a spirit-filled contemporary gospel piece while more people came in and stood along the walls. The church Raven had thought so spacious, now seemed too small.
“And now we’ll have words of comfort by Raven Ripley.”
All eyes were on her as she plucked a program from Eric’s hand and walked to the lecturn.
She read all three paragraphs, then added, “This is only a short summary of my mother’s life. What it doesn’t tell you is that she was more than the church-going, pineapple-coconut-cake-baking, hymn-singing woman.”
A few laughs went into the air.
“I remember the times when I would sit in front of the stove as she tried to press my hair. Her aim wasn’t always so great, and when she missed, she would say, ‘You have to suffer to be beautiful, baby.’ “
That statement, so familiar to Black women everywhere, brought peals of laughter.
“No one knows about the time she went health conscious and substituted squash for sweet potatoes in one of her famous pies—and actually thought we wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.” Raven shook her head. “We shipped that pie right back to her house with just one bite missing from a tiny sliver of a slice. She couldn’t fool us.”
Another round of chuckles.
“No one knows that thirty years ago, she crashed four different cars trying to learn to drive.”
That admission was met with stunned silence.
“I want you to look at that beautiful picture on the front of the program.” Raven held up her program, slowly displaying it to all sides of the church. “It’s from her driver’s license. Now I know mine, and probably those of a few others here today, would be considered mug shots.”
Laughter erupted once again.
She looked at her father, who beamed with pride. Raven’s heart soared. “But look at her, look at how proud she was,” Raven said. “Do you see that smile? That smile says, ‘I finally did it!’
“That’s the way I want you to remember her. Beautiful and proud, so full of energy, with that red Dodge Caravan as her constant companion.” She held the real driver’s license up for all to see. “It took her thirty years to get this. She should be an example for all of us. We should never give up on the things we want most.” Raven paused to formulate her thoughts, because she hadn’t planned to say what had just come to mind. “She put off so many things until her retirement two years ago. Vacations, classes she wanted to take, things she wanted to try—all had to wait until she retired. She enjoyed only a few years of freedom before she made her transition.”
Raven blinked back tears, gripping the podium to steady herself. “I encourage all of you to do whatever you have planned. Your dreams, your goals—do it now. Right now. Retirement isn’t promised. Our next day isn’t promised. If we keep that in mind, we’ll treat people differently. We’ll treat our loved ones differently. We won’t wait to love the people who love us…”
A commanding, suit-clad figure moved forward and stood at the very end of the center aisle, directly in her line of vision. Pierce Randall fixated on Raven.
He came for me! He came.
She wanted to run to him, into the comfort of his arms. Raven nearly broke down. She bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling and took a deep breath, feeling a heaviness in her chest.
Pierce lifted his arms slightly, his hands balled into fists as his lips mouthed the words, “Stay strong.”
Raven nodded, taking another deep breath before continuing. “We must realize that the Creator meant for us to live life abundantly—not to deprive ourselves. The more we live, love, and enjoy, the more fulfilled and at peace we become.” She took a final look at those in the audience. “Thank you ever so much for being a part of my mother’s life. And thank you for coming here today to honor her memory. I wish you all peace and love, light, and much joy.”
Applause rang out as Raven cautiously walked to Pierce, whose arms stretched out to welcome her. She nearly ran the last remaining feet to cover the distance and embraced him. “Thank you for coming.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be.”
Her gaze locked on Eric, who barely hid a grin. “Traitor,” she mouthed.
Raven’s hands wove tightly around Pierce’s, drawing strength from him. Slowly, Reverend Lowry’s words faded and Raven lay her head gently on Pierce’s shoulder.
This funeral seemed like a dream that was happening to someone else. Her mother, the mother she’d just begun to know and love, was no longer around to give her approval. Raven shuddered with immense grief.
Pierce wrapped loving arms around her shoulders as he led her to the door. Outside the bright red, wooden doors, sobs wracked her as Pierce held on tight. His deep voice soothed her. “It’s all right, baby.”
“I didn’t get to tell her…” she gasped for breath “…how much…I loved her when it counted.”
“She knows, baby. She knows.”
A few minutes later, she whispered, “I’m all right.”
“Think of how proud she’d be of your words today.”
Raven’s gaze flew up to meet his. “You really think so?”
“Oh, yes. I was deeply touched by what you said.” His dark brown eyes searched hers. “I’m going to take those words to heart.”
They walked back in just as one of the ministers began speaking. Raven h
ad asked each to limit his or her remarks to three minutes. Knowing how long-winded some of them were, she prayed they would stay within ten.
Sesvalah, the minister and counselor who had helped Eric and Raven deal with his condition, and also one of Raven’s old supervisors from her days at a social service agency, was at the lectern. “Why are we crying here today? We should be celebrating Jaylon Ripley’s home-going. When we’ve done a good job, we expect a promotion, right? Well, God said to his child, ‘Job well done,’ and gave her that promotion.”
The spirited congregation responded warmly.
“We say, ‘God’s will be done,’ and allow our mother, our sister, our aunt, our cousin, our grandmother, our friend to be at peace, knowing that her spirit lives on. This body is just a shell. The bible says, ‘And I will make you faithful over a few things. Come on up a little higher and receive your just reward.’ Being pain free, worry free, loved and welcomed by the Creator is that just reward.”
Raven’s heart lightened as Sesvalah’s words penetrated her pain. Heaven is a job promotion. The many people present were proof of her mother’s work. Some were representatives from the shelters that had been the recipients of clothing and other items garnered through her mother’s love for used things. All had borne witness to her generosity.
She had thought her mother a little eccentric at times, because of the mountains of bags that had filled the living room. Jaylon would sort the items, placing them in different piles slated for particular destinations. In her retirement, nothing brought her mother more pleasure than giving. Jaylon Ripley hadn’t always been that way—and maybe, just maybe, that was the lesson she’d needed to learn in this lifetime.
Raven could learn a lot from her mother’s last two years, especially about forgiveness and letting go of the past. Drew and Janetta would surely put her to the test. The money didn’t matter. The greed didn’t matter. The driver’s license held securely in an upper section of Raven’s bra, close to her heart, was the only thing that mattered. It was a symbol of a thirty-year accomplishment, a symbol of achievement, a symbol of pride.
She had to suppress a smirk as she watched Janetta collect envelopes from the latecomers, only to have the church secretary take them from her. Yes, I have a lot of growing to do. Then she looked at Pierce, adding, A lot of loving, too.
Raven would tell him the truth about everything. If he really loved her, he would understand.
❤ ❤ ❤
After the service, the group traveled to Oakwood Cemetery. As rain fell steadily on her mother’s final resting place, Raven slipped the cemetery crew some money so they would cover the area with a tent.
Her mother had always joked that when she died they should make sure to put a blanket over her, “Because it might get cold down there.” Raven had brought a blanket she’d purchased especially for her mother from a vendor at the expo. She had put it in just before they closed the casket at the church. Now she grabbed her father’s hand and pulled him along with her as she walked toward the casket propped above an open space of ground.
“Bye, Mama. I promise to take care of Kayla and Manny no matter what. Please know that I love you, and I thank God you were my mother. I wouldn’t be me, if it weren’t for you.”
Roberto had his own words for her mother. He thanked the woman that he loved for leaving him with a beautiful gift—a gift he wished she would have mentioned earlier in life—but for which he was still grateful all the same. Raven’s tears started all over again.
Later, as Eric and Pierce followed Raven to the waiting limo, Janetta blocked her path. “I know you had them take those envelopes and give them to Drew.”
Raven brushed past her and kept walking.
“You hear me, you bitch?” she screeched.
Raven stopped, took a deep breath, and signaled for Eric and Pierce to stay back—which they both ignored.
“Think you’re so smart, Ms. Famous Author. Couldn’t even pay for your mother’s funeral!” she yelled loud enough for the many observers to hear.
“Shut your filthy mouth,” Raven growled. “She left everything to you and Drew, and she left strict orders that the funeral was to be in Drew’s hands. So why are you sweating me?”
“I want the house!”
Raven shrugged and folded her arms across her breasts. “I’m not keeping it from you.”
“I want that red van.”
Raven grinned. “I’m not keeping that from you, either. That little piece of paper I gave you at the house transfers all my rights to Drew. He owns two-thirds of everything. So go sweat him. I don’t want anything—the house, the money, the van—nothing. I only want her driver’s license.”
Janetta’s beady eyes narrowed. “Why that?”
“You all are getting what you wanted,” Raven shot back, angered that her sister would even deny her this little piece of joy. “Does it matter?”
Janetta fumed. “I guess not, but you still should’ve asked me.”
“Kiss my ass.”
“You wish.” Janetta laughed and waddled away. She smirked as she clutched the last few envelopes as though they were pure gold.
“Was that wise? Giving up everything?” Pierce asked as their footsteps crinkled the wet grass.
“I didn’t know it at the time, but the house was in the middle of refinancing before my mama died. Now that she’s gone, the refinancing won’t happen, so the loan is in default. Every cent Mama left Janetta in the pension will have to go into the house if she wants to live there. I gave it all up so I didn’t have to deal with the drama.”
“I knew you were smart.”
“And I thought you loved me for my good looks,” Raven countered.
“Oh, yes, there’s always that.”
She introduced Pierce to her father. Roberto instantly sized him up with an intense once-over, and then smiled, shaking the extended hand. “I have a lot of time to make up for. Do not make a mistake with my daughter.”
Raven’s heart filled with love.
“Trust me,” Pierce began, looking Raven directly in the eye, “I’ve made one mistake too many.”
Roberto clasped Raven’s hands in his. “We’ll talk back at the church.”
“You won’t leave before—”
“I promise I will be there.”
Pierce gathered her hands in his as they got into the waiting limousine. Eric had already stretched out on the back seat and was soon snoring lightly. The driver turned onto Cicero Avenue, heading back to the church for the repast.
“Pierce, thank you for coming.”
“I just wish you would’ve picked up the phone yourself.”
“But I just thought that—”
“You thought wrong,” he said, frowning his frustration. “Just because you hadn’t made up your mind about us as a couple doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be here as a friend.”
“I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
She removed the license from its safe place. “I miss her.”
“I know.”
Raven slipped into the comfort of Pierce’s arms. “I didn’t plan for this. I thought…I mean we were getting closer, and I thought that I’d have time to…” She sighed. “It was so sudden.” Tears streamed down her face like the start of an April shower, less than a storm, but more than a drizzle.
Pierce brushed away the moisture with the soft sweep of his hand and kissed her cheek tenderly.
“Where are you staying?” she asked.
“I made reservations at the Chicago South Loop Hotel.”
“Unmake them. You’re staying with me.”
“Raven—”
“Don’t argue with me,” she commanded. “I’m not in the mood.”
He leaned over and kissed her lips gently. “So, do you have a guest room?”
“Nope!” Eric’s crisp answer startled them.
Seeing his wide grin, Raven reached out and pinched him.
“And I’m staying with Aunt Avie.”
“Just now.”
“What if I need you?”
Eric leaned forward, patting her hand gently as he glanced at Pierce, and said, “You won’t.”
Pierce linked his fingers in hers, slowly transferring a solid reassurance.
“And just how were you planning to get there?”
Eric grinned slyly. “Well, I was hoping to check out your new Audi.”
“Hmph. Just like I thought. Ulterior motives.”
Eric said, “It was a nice service—if you can say nice about a funeral. She would have enjoyed your speech, Mom.”
“Thanks, I needed to hear that.”
At the repast, her father spoke at length of his relationship with Jaylon, and she learned that the moment James found out that Jaylon was in love with Roberto, he had called immigration questioning his status and those actions started the process to have Roberto sent him back to Belize. “I had overstayed my visa to be with your mother. I wanted your mother to bring her children and come with me to Belize, but she was too afraid of leaving here. I had hoped she would change her mind, so I stayed. He reported me, and they came to get me at my job. His jealousy was something I had never seen.
“Jaylon came down to INS before they shipped me out and told them that we were to be married, but she could not provide proof, especially since that man would not grant her a divorce. She fought him on it, but it did not happen in time to keep me here.
“I realize now that it was pretty selfish of me to ask her to leave everything she had ever known and come to a country she knew nothing about. But that man, her husband,” he spat, “had an evil spirit. I wanted to get her out of the country not just to have her to myself, but to take her away from his influence. He had a strange power over her, one she could never explain.” Roberto shook his head. “Please, do not hold it against her for not telling me. She probably thought that he would take her first two children from her. When Jaylon said she would return to her husband, there was no reason for me to complicate her life; however,” came the tortured whisper as he looked down at Raven, “if I had known she was carrying my child, I would have done just that. I would have taken a wooden raft to get back here. Jaylon knew that.”
The Pleasure's All Mine Page 28