by Liz Harris
He glanced at her and raised his eyebrows. ‘I reckon I don’t need to answer that.’
‘I think you do. It’s obvious that you mistook what you saw when you opened the door last night, and you should have given me the chance to tell you what happened. Or what didn’t happen, as nothing happened.’
‘Niall explained it all.’
‘I picked up snatches of what you and he said to each other, but not clearly enough to follow your conversation. I doubt very much that he told you he suggested that we lie together, but I refused. That’s what happened, though. It was an offer he made, if you like. There was no force on his part. It was just a suggestion, I refused and he accepted my refusal.’
‘Nope, that isn’t quite what he said. You were willing to go with him, as I understand it. And it was your idea.’
Her stomach gave a sudden lurch. She raised her eyebrows. ‘And you believe him without hearing me speak?’
‘I reckon I do. Lord knows, I don’t want to, but I saw you standing there, not moving, not protesting, Niall with his fingers in your hair. What he said fits in with what I saw.’
She felt numb. She stood up. ‘I thought you knew me by now, but obviously I was wrong. Just as I was wrong in thinking you a fair man.’ She moved away from the table. ‘I won’t be staying here. I’ll get about my chores now and then go for Bridget. I’ll also pack the last of the turnips and put them in the cellar. I ask only that you take me to Baggs tomorrow so that I can get the first stagecoach back to Rawlins.’ She turned towards the kitchen. ‘I’m disappointed in you, Mr Maguire,’ she said over her shoulder. ‘I thought you were a better man than you’ve proved to be.’
He thumped his fist on the table. ‘He’s my brother. Of course I believe him.’
She stopped, turned back and looked at him in surprise. ‘So you really think that Niall has earned the right to be believed without question merely because he was born to the same folks as you? You believe that he’ll always do right by you just because he’s your brother? Well I’ve got a brother who didn’t do right by me, even though he was born to the same parents as I was.’
‘If he is your brother.’
She stared at him in amazement. ‘If?’ she said. ‘If?’ she repeated with growing anger. She took a few steps towards him. ‘So he’s been making you doubt what I told you about my family, has he? And because he’s always been the perfect brother, full of family feeling, ready to put his interests aside to support you at the time when your folks died and you were desperate to keep the farm going, you believe him now without question. And despite his losing everything, you’re confident that he’d never be jealous of you or do anything to threaten your comfort in your home. That’s a good description of Niall, is it?’
‘You know it isn’t.’
‘Well, it sounds as if you think it is.’ She paused. Forcing herself to calm down, she went and sat opposite him again. ‘I know he’s your brother, Connor, but I also know that you’ve seen him for what he is and that for some reason which I don’t understand, you’re now choosing to shut your eyes to his casual morality. You once told me that you believed in honourable behaviour. How honourable do you think it is to accept without question what one person has said without asking the only other person present for their account of what happened?’
‘You can tell me your side, then,’ he said, crossing his arms.
She shrugged her shoulders, dismissively. ‘There’s no point, is there? You’ve already judged me and nothing I can say will alter that. As I said, I’ll leave tomorrow.’
He stared at her, his face drawn and strained.
‘I know I should want that, but I know that I don’t,’ he said quietly, letting his arms fall to his sides in helplessness. ‘I think maybe I could have done things differently in the last couple of days, and I feel that I must take some of the blame for what happened. If you agree, we can try to put this behind us.’
‘You think I had – maybe even still have – feelings for your brother, yet you’re prepared to let me stay on?’ Her voice rose in surprise.
‘I can see now that what happened the night before, when I came upon you by the bath tub as I did, may have unsettled you. And then, coming back to an empty house with Niall, an attractive man. You had your needs and you acted without thinking. In my heart I know that this will have been out of character, so yes, you can stay on if you want.’
Staring at him, her eyes cold, she rose from her chair.
‘Forgive me if, despite a scarred face which should make me prepared to accept any crumbs thrown from the table, I’m choosing not to stay with a man who believes that I would approach his brother for sexual favours in his absence.’
Connor stood up and faced her. ‘I hope you’ll think some more and change your mind. I’m gonna tell Niall that he must move out today. He’s down by the fence, staring at the creek. You’ll not see him before you set off for Bridget, and he’ll be gone before you’re back. I must go into town today and I’ll ride in with him.’ He took a step towards her. ‘I would like you to stay, Ellen. Let’s try to put this behind us.’
She hesitated.
‘When I lay alone last night,’ he said quietly, ‘I looked back over the months you’d been here, and I felt I’d chosen well. You’ve been a good wife to me, and you’re kind to Bridget. And I think you are a fair woman. Will you ask yourself if wanting to believe in my brother is so wrong that you must end this marriage?’
She looked up into his eyes, and saw the wretchedness in them. She nodded slowly. ‘I’ll think about what you’ve said. But now I must collect the eggs and then go to Peggy’s.’
She turned around, picked up a basket and walked out of the kitchen into the cold dawn, her vision misting.
Chapter Twenty-One
‘I’d like a word,’ Connor said, walking across the yard to Niall, who was sitting on the fence, staring beyond the creek to the blue-hazed mountains.
Niall glanced down at Connor. He gave an exaggerated sigh. ‘I thought you might. And I’m guessing it’s still about last night.’
‘Well, you thought right.’ He climbed up on to the fence and sat down next to Niall. ‘Ellen’s taken the buggy and gone to Peggy’s for Bridget.’
‘You climbed up here to tell me that? Why, whatever next? But you needn’t have bothered. I worked out that she’d be the one to go for Bridget as you were gonna go into town, and I came out real early, to be out of the way before she got up. I didn’t know if you were gonna talk to her today, or if you’d chewed the cud last night, but either way I figured she wouldn’t want to see me.’
‘You figured right.’
Niall threw Connor a quick glance, then turned back to the view. ‘So what’s this word you’d like to have? I already said all I’m gonna say about last night. Either you believe me or you don’t.’
‘I’m choosing to believe you. You’re my brother, and I wouldn’t want to think you’d try to do something that would come between me and my wife. I think she acted out of character in a moment of weakness.’
‘So what else is there to say?’
‘Just that I reckon it’s time you left. In fact, I’ll put it stronger than that – I want you gone before Ellen gets back. You were gonna leave anyway. What happened last night just means that you’re gonna leave that little bit sooner. I said I’d give you money to help with your lodgings, and I will, and you can move into town today.’
‘And if I can’t find any lodgings?’
Conn gave him a wry smile. ‘I know you well enough, Niall, to know you’ve already found somewhere to stay. What’s more, I reckon you’ve been staying there on the nights you’ve not returned here. I’m guessing that you’ve made more money gambling and doing odd jobs than you’ll have needed for your whisky and whores, and that some of that money will have gone on lodgings.’
Niall grinned. ‘Yup, you sure do know me, brother.’ He jumped down and brushed the dust from his trousers. ‘I’ll go get my things ready, and I�
�ll leave today. But I ain’t leavin’ without seeing Bridget first.’
‘You’re not—’
‘I’m real fond of Bridget,’ Niall cut in, ‘and I’m not goin’ anywhere till I’ve said goodbye to her.’
‘You’ll see her in town.’
‘But it won’t be the same as livin’ with her. When I’ve got my things together, I’ll go sit by the creek and see if I can catch me some fish. If I do, I’ll leave them for your dinner tonight. You can send Bridget down to me when she gets back. That way, I won’t be meeting your wife again. Leastways not so soon after last night.’
‘OK, I’ll go along with that.’
‘Just as well you get your living room back. You may wanna bed down there in the future again.’ Niall laughed. ‘I’m guessing that’s where you spent last night.’
‘Maybe it was. But like I say, you’d have to go at some point. We’ll need the space when we have another child.’
‘And I hope you get one soon, I really do. You deserve it after what you’re havin’ to do to get it.’ He looked around him. His eyes returned to Connor, and he smiled. ‘I reckon I was about ready to move on, anyway. To be honest, brother, I’m kinda bored here.’
He gave Connor a slight wave, and strolled off towards the house.
‘So that’s brought you up to date,’ Connor said, walking with Aaron past East Barn towards the house. ‘It’s kinda late now, so I’ll have to leave going into town till tomorrow morning, but there’s a chance I might go over to William and Peggy’s later today. I’d like to hear if one of the other groups got closer to the hunters than we did.’
‘If they didn’t, in a few days’ time, after we’ve finished in the fields, I’d like to ride out with the townsfolk on occasions. I know we don’t wanna leave the farm unprotected, but there might be a time when you’d prefer to stay back and I could go in your place.’
Connor nodded. ‘I’m sure there will be. By the way, I saw you’d done the last of the ploughing so all the fields are now ready for seeding in the spring. That’s real good, but I thought we were gonna leave the last patch till tomorrow and do it together?’
‘I changed my mind,’ Aaron said. He hesitated. ‘I picked up that things were tense between you and your wife and I decided that today would be a real good day to get out in the fields and finish the ploughing.’
Connor glanced at him quickly, then looked away.
‘You decided right. It was a misunderstanding between us.’
‘I thought it was something like that. And seeing as she’s bin gone for most of the morning, I reckon I’ll take my lunch into the bunkhouse, and let you two and Bridget eat alone.’ He hesitated. ‘You haven’t long been wed. I know I normally eat with you when the hired hands have left, but I don’t mind carrying on eating my meals in the bunkhouse. I don’t have to join you. You could use more time alone, I’m thinking.’
‘Thanks, Aaron,’ he said. ‘But you’re a part of this family and you’ll eat with us as always over winter. This once, though, I’m grateful for your offer and I’ll take you up on it for a couple of days. There are things Ellen and I need to sort out. We can go back to normal after that.’
‘If you want, you can send Bridget out to me when she’s had her food. She can help with the new calves.’
They reached the kitchen door. As Connor put his hand on the handle, they heard the sound of the buggy coming down the track.
‘I’ll take something from the pantry and go,’ Aaron said quickly.
Connor nodded. ‘And I’d better check where Niall is.’
He went hastily through the house to the front door, opened it and went out. The rattling of the buggy was louder. He started to run towards the fence, then stopped when he saw Niall down by the creek, staring towards the water, his back to the house. He would have heard the buggy, but he showed no sign of moving.
With a sigh of relief, Connor turned away and walked slowly towards the gate. He reached it, raised the iron bar and was swinging the gate open as Ellen came into sight. Her eyes straight ahead, she slowed the horses, steered them through the gateway and into the yard, and brought them to a stop in front of the house.
‘Pa!’ Bridget screamed, clambering down at speed.
Connor pulled the gate shut, lowered the iron bar and turned around to walk back. He stopped in surprise at the sight of Bridget running towards him, arms outstretched. Smiling, he bent down to her and she flung her arms around his neck.
He hugged her tightly, then held her away from him and looked into her face. His smile faded and he looked worried. ‘What is it, honey? Is something wrong?’
‘What’s the matter with Ellen?’ she asked, her voice a loud whisper. ‘She didn’t speak to me all the way home. I’m not complaining, but it was funny.’
He straightened up. ‘Maybe she’s got a headache. If so, it’d be a kindness to leave her be. I know she was planning to pack away the last of the turnips today and put them in the cellar. Maybe you could do that for her.’
She frowned up at him. ‘If she’d got a headache, she’d have said so. She wouldn’t have just sat there like that, looking unhappy.’
He glanced towards the buggy. Ellen had tethered the horses and they were drinking water, but she was nowhere to be seen. He looked back down at Bridget. ‘Then all the more reason to do something to make her happy.’
‘I don’t like it when she’s like that. I will do the turnips, I promise, but can I do them tomorrow, when I get back from school? I’ve got something planned for this afternoon. It’s to do with Peggy. Look!’ She grabbed his hand, and pulled him after her towards the buggy. Releasing his hand when she got to the buggy, she reached across to her seat and pulled out a fishing net.
Beaming at him, she held it up and waved it in the air. ‘It’s William’s old net. He won’t be using it any more so Peggy said I can have it. She said William won’t mind. He came back home very late last night and he went into town real early this morning. He came back just before Ellen collected me, but Peggy had already said it was fine for me to have it. I was gonna go to the river and catch some fish now. We can have them for supper. I won’t be able to go fishin’ when the water freezes over.’
He looked at her in mock surprise. ‘I didn’t realise you were so keen on fishing.’
She nodded. ‘I sure am.’
‘And it’s nothing to do with not wanting to pack the turnips for winter?’
She vigorously shook her head.
He laughed. ‘I’m not fooled. But I guess the turnips can wait. Also, Uncle Niall’s down there, and I know he wants to speak to you. Remember, though – you must throw any littl’uns back.’
‘I will,’ she said. ‘I’ll get a bucket for the fish.’ And she ran into the house.
He started to follow her in, but Ellen appeared in the doorway and he stopped.
‘I thought Niall was going to be gone before I returned,’ she said, her voice cold.
‘I’m sorry. He insisted on speaking to Bridget before he left. He’s packed his things and put them in East Barn. He won’t be coming back into the house.’
She turned away from him. ‘As long as I don’t have to see him.’
‘You won’t. I promise.’
‘Don’t make promises you may not be able to keep,’ she said sharply. He followed her into the living room. ‘Before you go, I’ve got a message for you from William.’
He stopped and looked at her, his eyes hopeful. ‘Is it news of the hunters?’
‘Yes. One of Elijah Carey’s men told them all that it was more than just the killing of animals that folks had to watch out for. There’s also been some cattle-stealing in the area. William thought you’d want to keep a closer eye than usual on the grazing cattle.’
‘So not good news, then. I’ll let Aaron know, and we’ll pass the word around to the folks south of Liberty. The rustlers must be in cahoots with the hunters. It’s unlikely that two different bands would hit the area at the same time.’
She started to walk past him.
‘Ellen,’ he said, lightly putting his hand on her shoulder. She stopped and looked up at him. ‘Are you gonna stay?’
‘I guess I am,’ she said quietly, and she continued walking.
Relief coursing through him, he followed her to the buggy and reached up for Bridget’s bag at the same moment that she stretched out her hand to take it.
Their hands touched. She glanced up at him, and their eyes met. Neither of them moved.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
She withdrew her hand from the bag. ‘What exactly are you sorry for?’
‘I don’t rightly know, but I know that I feel sorry. I feel as if I lost something sometime between last night and today, but I can’t say what.’
‘I think we both lost something,’ she said, her voice low, ‘and I don’t know if we can find it again.’
He nodded slowly. ‘I feel I want to try.’ He paused. ‘Do you?’
‘I think I do,’ she said. ‘More than that, I know I do.’
She moved back as he lifted the bag down, turned and went into the house. Connor’s eyes didn’t move from her back as he walked behind her, Bridget’s bag in his hand.
‘Uncle Niall!’ Bridget called, clutching her fishing net and a bucket as she ran through the small side gate in the fence. ‘Uncle Niall!’ she shouted again, and sped towards the fallen log at the edge of the river where Niall was sitting, his jacket slung on the log next to him.
Reaching Niall, she slowed down, went past him and sat down on the log as close to the creek as she could get. Then she straightened her skirt, held out her net and lowered it into the water.
She glanced back at him, and he grinned at her. ‘I see you know how to fish,’ he said.
‘William taught me. Pa doesn’t like fishing.’
‘He never did. Fishin’s too much like playin’. Your pa’s a man who doesn’t like to play.