by Donna Haley
I was thrilled that he'd shown up and couldn't stop smiling. All eyes were on us as if they couldn't tear themselves away as he kissed me. I was curious as to how many of them would be shocked to know that we were the couple in the book. I'd gone all out to look different than the description Aaron had written that was so accurate it scared me.
I stood there in a blonde wig, dressed more like the old version of myself than the current. The silver A-line dress hit just above my knee and the Jimmy Choos were high enough to put me almost eye level with my husband. I'd worn the emerald earrings he'd given me the night we bonded and I smiled as he touched them lovingly.
He led me through the crowd and we managed to find Aaron surrounded by literary agents and publishers. Seeing us, he excused himself and hugged me close, lingering just a moment too long. Severus and Aaron exchanged polite hellos and the three of us made small talk. Aaron wanted to introduce me as the inspiration for his book but I shook my head, explaining how this wasn't about the inspiration but about the man that put the words to the page and created a masterpiece. Of course, he tried to talk me into it, but my husband came to my rescue and agreed that we should avoid drawing attention to the fact that we were the only non-humans in the room. We excused ourselves then to let the young human enjoy the fruits of his labor. For once in my existence I was happy that I wasn't the center of attention. We stayed a few hours, chatting with the breathers gathered to celebrate Aaron's accomplishment and made up crazy lies when they asked what we did for a living.
By the time we'd left, Severus and I were giggling at how gullible all human beings were. He opened the car door for me and I slipped inside, kicking my stilettos off immediately. After giving the driver the address of a local hotel, he pulled me close and let his fingers dance across my bare leg before pulling them over his lap and massaging my feet.
We pulled up to the hotel as the rain started, both of us drenched by the time we'd gotten a room. We spent a week in that hotel. Malachi had taken his sisters so that I could be in New York for the book launch and Severus and I made good use of the time we had alone.
Two and a half weeks later, our little book, Confessions of a Vampire debuted on the New York Times Best Sellers list. As much as I'd have liked to share that moment with my husband, but in true Severus fashion, he was not home.
So I called Aaron and we traded congratulations and then I went back to my normal, vampire life. A life that some days seemed like I’d been living for too long, but it was a life that I loved.
My thoughts were interrupted by the laughter of two little girls who were waiting impatiently for their momma to join them for an impromptu tea party. I hurried down the hall and turned the corner into their play room stopping dead in my tracks when I saw Severus sitting on the floor, drinking pretend tea out of a plastic Disney Princess teacup.
I suppressed my laughter and joined him on the floor, readily accepting the pretend cookie that Vivica handed me and the cup of tea that Vivienne had just poured. And in that room, on that floor, surrounded by two dark haired little girls and one extremely handsome demon, I found my fairy tale ending.
And we lived happily ever after, if only for that night.
Epilogue
I'd just finished reading that little book that I helped a human write. I wish I could tell you that in true fairy tale fashion the heroine and her Prince Charming lived happily ever after, but this is not a storybook ending. This is real life, if you can call what I live a life.
It's been four years since I gave Aaron that interview. Four years that seem to have flown by in the blink of an eye. Vivienne and Vivica are now eight years old and they look more like Severus by the second. Malachi and his boys have moved on, keeping Izzy close in their thoughts. He's remarried now and expecting a daughter in a few months. His wife, a full blooded fairy, has decided to name her Isabelle and we're all proud of her for honoring the boys’ mother in such a way.
It's been a little over two years since I left Severus for the final time. As much as I love him, it was time to let go and move on. For more than eight centuries I searched for the man I thought would offer me everything I ever needed. What I found was a man I love beyond all reason and who loves me back in the same way. We were happy in the time we were together, but that time was short.
Looking back on it now, I see that the last fight we'd had was the beginning of the end for us. That fight tore us apart in ways I never imagined would happen. But I wanted so badly for him to know how I felt and he came home looking for trouble. We lasted two years after that, but it wasn't the same. We weren't the same. I needed more than he was willing to give and he expected more than I wanted to give.
As much as I wish it hadn't happened, I'm glad it did. Everything and nothing changed that night. We tried our best to carry on the charade that we were both happy but it just wasn't working. There were too many things said to ever take back. And as much as I wanted him to stay, I knew that he never would. I sometimes wondered why he'd married me if he didn't want this life but I also understood that he craved freedom, much the same way I craved him. I never for a second doubted that he loved me. I just doubted where his loyalties lay.
Severus could never put his family first. We were always an afterthought and I'm not willing to live that way. He's a wonderful father, when he's here. But those times are few and far between now. I saw so little of him the last two years of our marriage that I may as well have been alone anyway.
We haven't divorced. That was my choice and his. We still love each other just as much, if not more than we did the day we married but sometimes love isn't enough to make a relationship work. It breaks my heart to this day to know that I'll never be first in his life. But that is who I married and who I love, but it doesn't mean I have to live that life. Our relationship is now on my terms. I've gained a strength I never knew I had and I'm proud of myself.
Our last night together was filled with the love we have for one another. We made love that night as if it were our first time together all over again. We took our time and filled each movement with the depth of our feelings for one another. We watched the sunrise together and then he arose from the bed and dressed.
My tears fell silently as I watched him brush his hair and button his shirt. He tied his tie with expert precision and as he shrugged into his jacket he caught my eye in the mirror and smiled sadly. We'd both known this day was coming and neither of us were in any hurry for it to dawn. As the first warm rays of sunlight spilled into the room he leaned over the bed and kissed me softly. And with a whispered I love you, he was gone, taking my heart and soul with him. It was only appropriate that he did, since they’d always belonged to him.
Now, I'm living with the decisions I've made. The girls and I moved back to New York City and we have a good life. Severus pops in to see the girls and Malachi when he can find the time. He regales Vivienne and Vivica with tales of hunting for souls and the different realms he gets to visit. And it's all fun and games until he leaves again.
I can sense the letdown the girls feel when he's gone. I feel it too. His relationship with his son is strained at best. But he brought it on himself. Mal feels an intense need to protect his mother and at times it's nice to have that again. They are civil to one another but Malachi doesn't want a father in his life that isn't a permanent fixture. He still hasn't forgiven Severus for the pain and heartache he's caused us all over the years. And I'm not sure he ever will.
Our son simply doesn't understand how a man could leave the family he loves for any reason. Malachi inherited my heart and he looks at his father as someone he'd never wish to be like. For that, I'm truly sad for Severus. He'll never know how deeply he hurt the little boy that's buried deep inside of our son.
As for me, well, I'm doing okay. Severus and I still see one another and it's almost like old times when we do. Our passion for the other is growing stronger and we steal moments together when we can. But it's not the same as it used to be. He's got his own life and I ha
ve mine.
I've started my own fashion design business and it's doing well. Dead Sun Fashions is making its debut at Fashion Week in Milan next season and the girls are excited to go back to Italy. We spend our days as humans do, I guess. The girls attend a private school here in New York and have a tutor that travels with us when business takes me out of town. They even have a demon tutor to help them with their ever growing powers.
I wish I could tell you that I truly moved on after the split, but I'd be lying if I did. Nothing will ever change when it comes to me loving Severus. He is the only being I ever truly loved with complete and utter abandon. And somewhere, hidden deep in his heart, he loves me more than he loves the life he's chosen. Unfortunately, he hasn't realized it, and I'm quite worried that if he doesn't soon, I won't be around if he ever does.
I fill the times in between his visits with my own life, a life that I love and I don't sit up nights worrying if he's coming home or not anymore. For my own sanity, I had to let that go. I still worry about him, but I've accepted that he is capable of taking care of himself and that it was killing him to know I was home worrying.
This book, this story, doesn't end in ways most would want or even understand. But it ends in truth. This is our story, the story of our lives and for better or for worse they connect us in ways only true soul mates could understand.
And as I sit here, tears streaming down my face, I cling to the book the young human wrote and relive all of the grand stories it holds. It's a best seller, you know.
He called it a fairy tale of the dark and twisted sort, and he's right, I suppose. There are all the elements present. The beginning and ending are special. There are good and evil characters present along with some royalty and a little magic sprinkled in. All in all, Aaron wrote a great story and won critical acclaim.
He stops by a few times a month to see the girls and he tells them about all the stories he's working on now. He's instilled in them a love of happy endings and I'm eternally grateful that he did. When he's done talking to my girls, he sits and fills me in on his life. I'd never admit it to him, but it's nice to have a human friend. We always hug when he leaves and promise to stay in touch and I believe that we will both keep that promise.
Each evening Vivi and Viv beg to hear the story of the vampire and demon and we sit beside the fire while I read it to them. They laugh and chatter enthusiastically at the family that's just like theirs. And when the end rolls around, two sets of bright blue eyes look up at me and I see the wonder sparkling in them as I add an extra line or two to the end.
Kissing their soft, pale cheeks, I whisper, “And the vampire lived happily ever after because she learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes you just have to save yourself and that's when you find true happiness. The End.......”
I tuck my daughters into bed and turn out the light. Closing the door behind me I head down to the small I office I have on the first floor and drop the book on my desk. Standing at the window, looking down over the city that I’ve come to love, I feel him. It's one of those rare nights when he's come to see me, not the girls, not Malachi, but me, the wife he can’t let go of. I can't stop the rush of happiness that fills me when I feel his breath on my neck or the whispered hello in my ear.
Before another second passes I find myself transported back to a time when this was all I needed. And no words are required as we embrace. I brush the back of my hand across his weathered face, and I can still see the handsome demon that stole my heart so many centuries ago. But when I look into his eyes now, I see a truth that rocks me to my core. I see the love and devotion that shines in those blue eyes and I wish, for just a second, that we could get back what we've lost. My sigh fills the air around us and he frowns. I know that he feels the pain as much as I do. And I want it back. I want back the life that I dreamed of, the life I'd fought so hard to get. But that life doesn't exist anymore. Not because we don't love each other, we do, but because sometimes you have to let go of things to find your happiness.
Severus and I both know that no matter how long we're apart, we'll always be together. Our bond remains strong and deep. And he's always there when I feel as if I can't go on another day. But he's not there to save me anymore. He lets me do that for myself and I love him even more for that. No words are necessary as he holds me. I can feel his heart beating against my chest and it says everything I've always known. And even if he leaves this time and never returns, I know one truth. This man will always hold my heart and I, his. And once again, as he takes me in his arms, I'm home.
At the end of the night, isn't that where we all want to be? Home, they say, is where the heart is, and my heart has always been with Severus.
He will always be home to me and in his arms I will always find my happily ever after.