Pieces of Me

by Laura Farr

  Her cheeks flush pink and she gives me a small wave. “Hi again.”

  “Hi…” I frown and drag my hand through my hair. “I’m confused. You know Maddie?” Before she can answer, Maddie bursts out laughing.

  “You still don’t recognize her?”

  “I recognize her from the beach yesterday. Should I recognize her from somewhere else? I thought you said your friend’s name was Alexis?”

  “Lexi is short for Alexis. No one really calls me that anymore,” Lexi says quietly, shooting a look at Maddie.

  “Lexi was my friend in school. She moved away when she was fourteen.”

  As I look from Maddie to Lexi, it suddenly falls into place.

  “Specsy Lexi,” I mumble. I see her eyes go wide, and I realize I said that out loud. “I mean, you look so different. Your glasses and braces are gone.”

  “Contacts,” she explains. “I hated those glasses.”

  “Did he just call you Specsy Lexi?” Maddie whispers dramatically in Lexi’s ear. Lexi’s eyes remain fixed on mine and she nods.

  “Yeah, I think he did.” Her mouth turns up into a smile. Thankfully, it seems like she doesn’t hate me for saying it.

  “Why didn’t you say something earlier?” I gesture with my hand for them both to come into the sitting room.

  “I’m sorry. Maybe I should have, but it was clear you didn’t remember me, and why would you? I never thought I’d run into you again, so…”

  Before I can respond, Bella runs into the room.

  “Lexi!” she cries, rushing toward her. “Did you come to play princesses?”

  Lexi looks at me in confusion before kneeling in front of Bella. “Hello, sweetie. It’s lovely to see you again.”

  “Lexi has come to talk to me about maybe looking after you now that Rose can’t,” I explain.

  “We could play princesses all the time then!” she exclaims excitedly.

  “How about me and you play while Daddy talks to Lexi?” Maddie suggests, taking Bella’s hand and guiding her out of the room. She skips alongside Maddie, and I can hear her talking about how pretty Lexi is and how much she likes her.

  “Well, you’ve definitely got Bella’s vote,” I say with a chuckle. “Please, sit down.” She smiles and sits on the couch, her hands fiddling with the hem of her t-shirt. It’s then I notice she’s nervous. “Do you want a drink?” I ask, hoping she knows that this is just a friendly chat and not a formal interview, especially after I’ve already spent time with her.

  “Water would be great.”

  “Why don’t you come with me into the kitchen? I can grab your water and show you around.” She smiles and stands up, following me down the hall. Reaching into the fridge, I pull out two bottles of water and hand her one.

  “Thank you.”

  “So, I remember you being friends with Mads, but I’ve no idea why you left Oceanside.”

  She takes a mouthful of water before securing the lid.

  “My dad got offered a job in Washington when I was fourteen. I stayed in touch with Maddie for a while, but eventually, we lost touch. We reconnected a few years ago.”

  “And what made you come back now?” Her eyes drop from mine and she plays with the plastic bottle in her hand. Seeing her apprehension, I backtrack. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me. I don’t need to know.”

  “No, it’s fine. It was a bad breakup.”

  I nod in understanding and quickly change the subject. “Have you been in Oceanside long?”

  “Only a couple of nights. I was actually looking for a job yesterday. When I had no luck, I decided to head to the beach.”

  “Well, I’m glad you did. If you hadn’t, I dread to think who might have found Bella.” I pause and she gives me a small smile. “Come on. I’ll show you around.”

  I walk her through the house, showing her the living room and the den before taking her upstairs. We come to a stop in Bella’s room. “Did Maddie tell you I was looking for someone to keep on top of the housework, as well as look after Bella?” She nods. “Bella goes to preschool two-and-a-half days a week, so you wouldn’t have her all the time. My current housekeeper cleans on the days she doesn’t have her. Would that work for you? Are you looking for something full-time?”

  “I’ll be honest, Cooper. I’m looking for as much work as I can find. Rental prices in Oceanside are extortionate.”

  “Aren’t you staying with Maddie?”

  “For now, but I’m looking for somewhere I can afford. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.” I nod, knowing there is no way Maddie would think she was overstaying her welcome.

  “What about experience?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

  “I don’t have any. My previous job was in an office, but I can clean.” She pauses. “I know I’m probably not the ideal candidate, Cooper, but Bella is adorable, and I’d love to spend more time with her.”

  “The job is yours if you want it, Lexi. I’ve seen you with my daughter. I’m more than happy with you looking after her.” I run my hand through my hair and hesitate. I’ve no idea if Lexi knows about Emerson. She hasn’t mentioned it, but I know I have to. “Did Maddie tell you about Bella’s mom?”

  “She did. I’m so sorry, Cooper.”

  I smile sadly at her. “Bella only knows life without Emerson. She’s a happy little girl who sometimes asks questions. Going to preschool has opened her eyes to the fact that most children have a Mommy and a Daddy. Just lately, she’s been asking why she’s different. I’ve always been open with her, and she knows that her mommy’s in heaven. If she does ask you any questions, let me know.”

  “You’re doing an amazing job with her, Cooper. She’s a great little girl.”

  “Thanks. She’s going to love you looking after her. Rose is great, but I know she can’t keep up with her sometimes. She’ll love that you’ll be able to take her into the pool and over to the park. If you’re okay with that, of course?”

  “Definitely! When do you want me to start?”

  “Two weeks? Rose is just working her notice.” I see her face fall slightly before she nods. “Is that okay?” I ask with a frown.

  “Yes, sorry. Two weeks is fine.”

  “Did you want to start sooner?”

  “Only so I could find a place of my own and get out of Maddie’s hair. She’ll just have to put up with me for a little longer.” She waves her arm. “It’ll give me time to find somewhere a little farther out that I can afford.”

  I think back to her earlier comment about expensive rentals. Oceanside is a prime vacation spot and real estate prices are at a premium. She’s going to have to look quite a way out for something she can afford on the wages I’m paying.

  “Maybe I can help you out with that.” She looks at me in surprise. “Come on.”

  Leading her downstairs and out of the front door, I walk down the side of the house, coming to a stop behind the garage. I point to a set of stairs. “There’s an apartment above the garage. Emerson liked to paint, so I converted it into a studio for her. There’s a bathroom and a tiny kitchen space, although it’s only really a sink and cupboards. It might not be any good for cooking meals, but you could always use the kitchen in the house. You’d need furniture, but…” I trail off when I see the look of surprise on her face.

  She bites down on her lip. “Can I see?” she asks, excitement creeping into her voice.

  “Let me grab the key.” I turn and jog back inside, searching through the kitchen drawer for the key. I cleared all of Emerson’s things out of there about eighteen months ago. It had been empty ever since. If it helped Lexi out, I was happy to rent it to her for a small charge.

  “Hey. How’s it going?” Maddie asks as she comes into the kitchen while I’m searching for the key.

  “Good. I’ll be right back.” I snatch up the key and leave Maddie staring after me as I make my way back to Lexi. “Found it,” I exclaim, holding the key in the air. “I warn you. It’s been empty for eighteen months. It’s not going to look
its best.” I climb the stairs and unlock the door. Pushing it open, I move to the side, letting Lexi go in first.

  “Wow, this is big.”

  I follow her inside and look around. It is bigger than I remember, although I remember it full of Emerson’s painting stuff. I smile, remembering how she would spend hours tucked away in here before Bella was born. She loved to paint, and I know it helped her pass the time when I was deployed. I can almost see her sitting in here, surrounded by canvases and paint. I realize I’ve gone quiet. When I turn to look at Lexi, she’s eyeing me sympathetically.

  “Are you sure about this, Cooper?”

  “I’m sure. There’s no sense in it lying empty if it can help you out. The commute to work will be a dream, too.” She laughs and puts her head around the door of the small bathroom.

  “I love it. What’s the monthly rental?

  “We’ll figure something out. It’ll be affordable. It’s only a studio apartment, so it won’t be much.” She surprises me by throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me on the cheek.

  “Thank you,” she whispers, her voice full of emotion as she pulls back. “You don’t know how grateful I am for this. These past few months have been shit, but I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.”

  “I’ve been there, Lexi. I know how that feels.”

  “God, Cooper, I can’t believe I’m moaning to you about my problems after everything you’ve been through-”

  “Hey,” I say gently, cutting her off. “Everyone has their shitty times. Your problems aren’t any less important than mine. We’re all just trying to get from one day to the next.”

  “Well, you’ve just made mine that bit easier to deal with. Can we go and tell Bella?” Her excitement is palpable, and right there and then, I know I’ve made the right choice in choosing Lexi.

  I nod. “She’s going to be so excited. I hope you like Tangled,” I warn her. “She watches it on a loop.”

  She shrugs. “I’ve actually never seen it.” I burst out laughing.

  “That’ll soon change.”

  “I can’t wait!” she exclaims with a smile. I lock the door and follow her down the stairs.

  We find Maddie and Bella coloring in the den. Maddie looks up as we walk in. “Hey. All good?” she asks, looking at Lexi.

  “Yep,” Lexi replies, kneeling down next to Bella and picking up a colored pencil. “Can I help?” Bella nods and moves her picture over so they can both color. I smile at Maddie and let Bella color for a few minutes before asking her to come and sit on my knee.

  “How would you like it if Lexi looked after you when you’re not at preschool?” She looks at me and nods. As sassy as she is, I can tell she’s gone shy as she chews on her fingers and won’t look at anyone. I see Lexi move from where she’s kneeling on the floor to come and sit next to me on the couch.

  “Hey, guess what?” she says, tickling Bella’s side. Bella looks at me before looking at Lexi. “I know that you love Rapunzel, but I’ve never seen Tangled. Do you think when I come over we could watch it?” I look down at her sitting on my lap and her face lights up. Wriggling to get down, she slides off me and climbs onto Lexi’s lap.

  “Can we watch it now? I could put my dress-up outfit on and we could have popcorn!”

  Lexi looks at me and shrugs. “If you’ve got anything you need to do, I can watch her while you do it. Might be good to spend some time with her before I start.”

  “Well, I did want to clean the pool and cut the grass. Are you sure?” I don’t want to take advantage, but cleaning the pool and cutting the grass while I’m trying to watch Bella is always hard work.

  “I wouldn’t have offered if I minded. I can’t wait to watch Tangled.” She pulls Bella close and tickles her some more.

  “I’ll remind you of that when you’ve seen it ten times,” I joke. “Well, if you’re sure…”

  “I’m sure,” she insists. “Bella, do you need a hand getting your dress on?”

  “No, I can do it all by myself,” Bella replies, scrambling off Lexi’s knee and running out of the room.

  “I’ll get to cleaning the pool then.”

  I wander out of the room with a smile on my face. It’s been an age since I’ve had some time to myself on a weekend, even if I am doing chores. I’m beginning to think meeting Lexi on the beach yesterday was the best thing to happen to us in quite a while.

  Lexi

  “Tell me everything,” Maddie cries as Cooper walks out of the den. She gets up off the floor and sits next to me on the couch.

  “Well, he offered me the job,” I tell her, a smile playing on my lips.

  “I figured that much out! You were gone ages, though. What were you talking about?”

  “Lots of things.” I pause, knowing that I’m winding her up. “He might also have offered me a place to live.”

  “A place to live?!” she shrieks. “Where? Here in the house?” I shake my head and let out a laugh.

  “No. In the apartment above the garage.”

  “Emerson’s studio?”

  “Yeah, except it’s not her studio now. It’s been cleared out. It’s empty.”

  “Wow,” she whispers, flopping back on the couch.

  “What?” I ask, confused by her reaction.

  “Nothing.”

  “Mads,” I warn. “What is it?”

  “I’m just surprised, that’s all. Coop wouldn’t let anyone go near the studio after Emme’s death. He kept it locked up. I don’t think he even went in there. I’d no idea he’d cleared it out.”

  I fall silent, wondering why he’d offer to rent me the apartment if he found it so difficult to be in there. He seemed okay when he’d shown me around. Maybe he was putting on a brave face. I knew how that worked. I was the queen of brave faces.

  Maddie gently bumps my shoulder. “Hey, I can see your mind working overtime. He wouldn’t have offered it to you if he wasn’t sure. It’s been four years. Maybe he’s ready to move on.”

  I flick my eyes to hers and raise my eyebrows. “Well, it won’t be with me, Mads. It’s not like that. I can see your mind working overtime, too.” She holds her hands up and shakes her head.

  “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Sure,” I mumble, dropping my head back onto the soft leather of the couch.

  “I just want to see him happy, Lex,” she whispers. “He was so lost when Emme died. The only thing that kept him going was Bella. He needs to live again, to be happy.”

  I turn so I’m facing her, taking her hand in mine. “He will be happy again…when the time’s right. Not with me, though, Mads. Hell, my track record for keeping men happy is hardly anything to write home about.”

  “Don’t do that, Lexi. Don’t put yourself down. What happened with Greg wasn’t your fault. He’s the asshole here, not you.”

  “Maybe, but I was the one stupid enough to be with him. How could I not have known, Maddie? I was going to marry him.” Tears threaten to fall. I can’t break down here. Not now. Bella will be down any minute and I don’t want her to see me crying. Maddie pulls me in for a hug. I take a deep breath.

  “He had everyone fooled, Lex. He didn’t deserve you.”

  I nod and wipe my eyes just as Bella comes flying into the room. Pulling myself together, I flash her a smile.

  “You look beautiful, Bella.” She twirls around and her dress fans out, along with her ponytails.

  “Aunt Maddie, can you put Tangled on?”

  She nods and moves toward the large TV that hangs on the wall above the fireplace.

  “If you’ve got stuff to do for your date tonight, Maddie, you don’t have to stay. I can walk back to your place when I’m done.”

  “I do have a few things to do, but I can stay for a bit,” she replies, her back to me as she loads the DVD into the player.

  “Where are you going, Aunt Maddie?”

  “Aunt Maddie is meeting a boy,” I whisper to Bella and watch as her eyes go wide.

  “Boys
are stupid! Daddy says I’m to stay away from boys until I’m thirty, unless it’s him, Pops, or Uncle Alex. Are you thirty, Aunt Maddie?” I smile as my eyes meet Maddie’s.

  “Well, no…but it is Uncle Alex I’m meeting, so that’s okay, right?”

  “Oh, I love Uncle Alex,” she says excitedly.

  “I know you do, sweetie.”

  “Do you love him, too?”

  “Popcorn anyone?” Maddie cries. I chuckle as she tries to dodge the question.

  “I’d love popcorn. What about you, Bella?” I ask, helping Maddie out.

  “Yes, yes, yes,” she shouts, bouncing up and down next to me.

  Maddie looks relieved as she leaves the den in search of popcorn. I pull Bella next to me on the sofa and we wait for Maddie to return. When she does, she has two huge bowls of popcorn, along with drinks for all of us.

  An hour into the film, Maddie slips away to run her errands. I sit cuddled on the sofa with Bella, chatting as the movie plays. I can’t help but smile as she tells me exactly what’s going to happen pretty much word for word. Cooper wasn’t exaggerating when he said she’d seen it a million times.

  Cooper is still outside, but Bailey has come and found us in the den. I don’t know if he’s allowed on the couch, but he’s currently sitting next to us…or, more accurately, on top of us. He’s a fairly big dog. It’s clear Bella loves him, though, and it’s adorable to see them together. Just as the credits roll on the movie, Cooper appears in the doorway.

  “Isabella Matthews, did you let Bailey onto the couch? Down boy.” He gestures with his hand for the dog to get down.

  “He wanted a cuddle, Daddy,” she says, shrugging.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize he wasn’t allowed,” I say apologetically.

  “It’s fine. You didn’t know. He tries it all the time.” I watch as Bailey jumps off the couch and lies down on the floor. Anyway, are you two having fun?” he asks as he walks in and reaches for the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

  “We are, Daddy. Lexi loves Tangled,” Bella gushes.

  “Is that right?” Cooper flicks his eyes to mine, a smile pulling on his lips.