by Laura Farr
I nod. “What can I say? I’m a fan.”
He bursts out laughing and throws a handful of popcorn at me and Bella. She squeals, and Bailey wastes no time eating the popcorn that landed on the floor.
“Did Maddie leave?”
“Yeah. She has a few things to do before…” I trail off, wondering if Cooper knows his best friend is taking his sister out on a date.
“Before what?” he asks, flopping down on the couch next to Bella.
“Erm… Just, erm…something she had to get done before work tomorrow,” I rush out, hoping I’m not going to drop Maddie in the shit. He nods and shovels more popcorn into his mouth.
“Nothing to do with her date with Alex tonight then?” he asks flippantly, a smile tugging on his lips.
I blow out a breath. “Oh, thank God! I thought I was dropping Maddie right in it.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Nah. I’ve known they liked each other for a while. Alex is a great guy. I hope it works out for them.”
“Me, too.”
Bella climbs off the couch and picks up her coloring off the coffee table. Lying on the floor next to Bailey, she picks up her pencils and starts to color.
“Did you manage to get the grass cut and the pool cleaned?” I ask, turning to face him on the couch.
“I did, thanks. It took half the time with you watching Bella.”
“If I’m living above the garage, I’ll be able to help out next time, too.”
He looks at me in surprise. “I couldn’t ask you to do that, Lexi. The weekends will be your days off.”
“I don’t mind.” I shrug. “It’s not like I know anyone here anymore, other than Mads. I think she’s going to be pretty busy with work and Alex.”
“I won’t be taking advantage just because you’re close by.”
“It’s not taking advantage if I’m offering.” I stand up off the couch, picking up some popcorn that Bailey missed. “I’d better get going. When would be good to come by and clean the apartment?”
“I’ll get another key cut tomorrow and drop it at Maddie’s. You can come by whenever you want. I’m guessing you’ll need to get some furniture?”
I nod, thinking whatever furniture I get needs to be as cheap as possible.
“There’s an IKEA in San Diego. I can take you in the truck if you like?”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that, Cooper.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” He grins as he repeats my words back to me. “It’s really no problem. How else are you going to get furniture quickly?” He raises his eyebrows in question. I sigh, realizing he’s right.
“Well…if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. Do you want to give me your number? I can let you know what day is best. I’m going to need it when you start work anyway.”
“Sure, and thank you. Otherwise, I’d be sleeping on the floor.” I dig my phone from my pocket and scroll through my contacts in search of my number. “Here we go. I can never remember it.” I give him the number, which he saves in his phone, then he calls me so that I’ve got his.
“Do you need a lift back to Maddie’s?”
“Nah, I’m good. I’m looking forward to the walk. Thank you, Cooper. For everything.”
He waves off my thanks and stands up off the couch.
“Bella, come and say bye to Lexi.”
“Do you have to go?” she mumbles.
“I do, sweetheart, but I’ll see you soon. Maybe next time I come over we can go swimming, or to the park?” I glance at Cooper, hoping that’s okay. He’s smiling, so I figure he doesn’t mind.
“Yay!” she cries. “Can we do both?”
“We’ll see,” I chuckle. She stands up and throws her arms around me. I hug her back and kiss her on the head. “I’ll see you soon then.”
“Bye, Lexi.”
I follow Cooper to the door and he swings it open, stepping to the side so I can pass. “I’ll draw up a contract with your hours and rates of pay, and some paperwork for the apartment, too. You can look over everything next time you come over.”
I nod and walk past him, turning around once I’m outside. “That sounds great. Thank you, Cooper.”
“Thank you, Lexi. Bella already adores you. She’s going to love you looking after her.”
“I can’t wait, either.” Smiling, I back away and offer a small wave. “Enjoy the rest of your day!” I shout as I make my way down the driveway. Cooper waves before heading inside.
It’s about a fifteen-minute walk back to Maddie’s, and I take my time, enjoying the sun on my skin. I’m still reeling from the fact that just this morning, I had no job and nowhere to live. Now, a few short hours later, I’ve got both. When the truth about Greg came out, I’d planned on staying in Richmond and rebuilding my shattered life. I had a couple of friends there and a job I sort of liked. Richmond was my safe haven and the place I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with the person who I thought was my forever. How wrong I had been. A couple of months later, the situation with Greg escalated and my only option was to leave. I was terrified I had made the wrong decision, leaving behind everything I knew.
Right now, I think leaving Richmond behind is going to turn out to be the best decision I’ve ever made.
Cooper
“Bye, Bella,” I call out, and she turns and waves as she walks into preschool. I force a smile, not wanting her to see how today is affecting me. Sighing, I turn around and slowly walk back to the truck. I’m in no rush to get to the cemetery. I visit on special occasions—her birthday, our wedding anniversary, Bella’s birthday, and today, the anniversary of her death. I don’t need to go there to remember her, though. I think about her every day. Bella looks so much like Emerson, it’s hard not to see her every time I look at our daughter. I guess no one really enjoys going, but I’ve never felt close to her there or like I need to go. She’s in my heart, and that’s where she’ll always be.
Driving into Oceanside, I park outside the florist and head inside. Reaching for a bunch of lilies, I make my way to the counter to pay.
“Someone’s a lucky lady,” the assistant says, taking the flowers from me and wrapping them in paper.
“I was the lucky one,” I tell her with a sad smile. Handing the cash over, I walk back to the truck, placing the flowers on the passenger seat. Taking a deep breath, I start the engine and drive the short distance to the cemetery.
As I walk down the path to Emme’s grave, my eyes flick to the headstones I pass. I’m always overwhelmed by how many more headstones I see each time I come. It only goes to prove how fragile life can be.
Stopping in front of Emerson’s stone, I see three bouquets of flowers have already been laid on the grass. Dropping to my knees, I reach for the card attached to the roses. They’re from Alex. He must have come on his way to work. His card is simple and reads “forever missed”. I don’t need to look at the card on the tulips to know that they are from Maddie. She gets the same every year. Her card is in an envelope, which she’s never done before. I guess she has something private she wants to say to Emme. Respecting her privacy, I leave the card where it is. I can’t help but wonder who the third bunch of flowers is from. My parents usually brought some, but they’re away on a two-month tour of Australia, so I know it isn’t them. Reaching for the bouquet of blue hydrangeas, I read the card aloud.
“Emerson, we didn’t know each other, but I met your beautiful daughter, Bella, recently. I wanted to tell you what an incredible little girl I think she is. She’s so happy and so loved. Her daddy is doing an amazing job bringing her up. I wish we could have met. From what Maddie tells me, I think we would have been great friends. Love, Lexi.”
I drop back on my heels, astounded that Lexi has brought Emerson flowers and written her a note. I hadn’t told her that it was the anniversary of her death. I guess Maddie must have, and they’d come together before Maddie started work. I’ll have to thank Lexi when I see her. Placing the flowers and card back on the grass
, I place mine next to them and sit down.
“Hey, Ems. I can’t believe another year has passed by.” It feels strange to be talking to her when I know she isn’t here, but I carry on regardless, not wanting to sit here in silence. “Bella is getting so big. She looks just like you.” I pause and tear at the grass, letting the blades fall through my fingers. “She swam without her floaties yesterday. Just one width of the pool, but she was so excited.” I sigh and close my eyes. “I wish you could have seen her. It’s so unfair you’ve missed out on so many firsts. First word, first steps, first tantrum.” I can’t help but chuckle, thinking of her first proper tantrum in the grocery store. I had to abandon the groceries and leave. I couldn’t do a thing with her.
Glancing down at Lexi’s flowers, I smile. “I see Lexi came this morning. She’s Maddie’s old friend from school. She’s going to be looking after Bella when Rose leaves. Bella adores her…” I trail off, unsure why I’m reluctant to tell her that Lexi is going to be staying in her old studio. If she were here, she’d want to help her, and Lexi was right. I think they would have been great friends if they’d met before she died. Still, something keeps me from voicing the words, and I absentmindedly rearrange the flowers on the grass in front of her headstone.
I stay for another ten or fifteen minutes before standing and brushing stray blades of grass off my shorts. Reaching my fingers to my lips, I kiss them, placing them over Emerson’s name on the headstone. “Bye, sweetheart. I love you,” I whisper. Backing away, I take one last look before I turn around and walk to the truck. It still hurts that she’s gone, and today is harder than most days, but with each year that passes, it gets a little easier. This year is easier than the last. I will always miss her and wish that she were here, but the world keeps turning and I try my best to stumble along with it.
Jumping into the truck, I drive toward town. I have a few errands to run in Oceanside, one of which is getting a key cut for Lexi. Parking where I can, I head into the grocery store and use their self-service key duplicating kiosk in the entryway. Slipping the new key into my pocket, I grab a cart and walk inside.
Wandering the aisles, I throw a few items in as I go around, mainly filling the cart with food for the barbeque. It’s become a tradition on the anniversary of Emerson’s death to have a get-together in the back yard. Emme was quite the host when it came to family barbeques, and it’s a small way to honor her memory. It’s usually just Maddie, Alex, Mom, and Dad, but as my parents are away, I guess it will just be me, Mads, and Alex. I wonder if Maddie will be bringing Lexi, too. I should have mentioned it to her yesterday. I want her to know that she’s welcome, and not as an afterthought.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I begin to type out a message to her. My head down as I type, I crash into someone walking the other way.
“I’m so sorry-” I begin, looking up from my phone. I can’t help but laugh when I see who’s standing in front of me. “Lexi, hi.”
“Hi, Cooper.”
“I was just messaging you,” I tell her, holding my phone in the air.
She looks surprised. “You were?”
I nod. “Yeah. There’s a barbeque at my place tonight. Mads is coming, and I wondered if you wanted to come, too, as you’re crashing with her?”
“Oh… Maddie did mention it. I thought it was just family. I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’d be very welcome. Bella would love you to come, and I have plenty of food.” I gesture to the cart and her eyes drop to the pile of meat.
She laughs. “So I see. Well…if you’re sure?”
“Of course. It’s usually just Maddie, Alex and my parents, but they’re away at the moment.” She nods before smiling sadly.
“Maddie told me what day it is. How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. Today is tough, but I’ll get through it. I’ve just come from the cemetery. Thank you for the flowers and the card you wrote.”
Her cheeks flush pink. “I hope you didn’t mind. It occurred to me afterward that maybe I shouldn’t have done it.” She looks worried, but she shouldn’t be.
“Emerson would have loved them, and what you said was right. I think you would have been great friends.” She looks relieved and gives me a small smile.
“I’ll let you get on with your shopping. Do you want me to bring anything tonight?”
I shake my head. “No. I’ve got everything covered.”
“Great. I’ll head over with Maddie later then.” I nod, and she turns to walk away. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m calling her name.
“Lexi.” She turns around and waits for me to speak. “Have you got any plans today?”
She looks down at her shopping. “As sad as it is, this is all I had planned. Why?”
“Do you want to go look at furniture today? Bella’s in preschool until 3:30. That should give us enough time to get there and back.”
“Are you sure you want to do that today?”
“To be honest, you’ll be doing me a favor. I always book the day off work and end up spending it miserable and alone. Even a trip to IKEA would be better than that.” She doesn’t answer for a few seconds as she chews on her bottom lip. “What do you say?”
“Okay. Why not?” Her eyes drop to my cart and she gestures to it with her head. “Do you need to take that home before we go?”
I nod. “You can put your stuff in my fridge if you need to. You can take it back to Maddie’s later…unless you need to go back before we leave?”
“No, I’m good.”
“Let’s check out and get going then.”
She nods, and I follow her to the cashier. After all of our groceries have been paid for, we walk to the truck and drive in comfortable silence back to the house.
Pulling into the driveway, I see Rose’s car parked there. “Oh, good. Rose is here. I was hoping you two would meet before she finished.” Climbing out of the truck, I grab both of our bags of groceries, walking up the driveway with Lexi. “Rose will be able to tell you what she does for us better than I can.” She nods, and we head up the steps to the front door. Pushing it open, I call out to Rose as we enter. “Only me, Rose.”
After a few seconds, she appears at the top of the stairs. Even from where I’m standing, I can see the surprise on her face when her gaze goes past me to Lexi.
“Hi, Cooper. I wasn’t expecting to see you today.”
“Day off,” I explain. She smiles as she reaches the last step. “Rose, this is Lexi. She’s going to be taking over when you finish.”
Her smile grows as she turns to Lexi. “Oh, I’m so glad you managed to find someone, and someone so pretty, too. Hi, dear. Lovely to meet you.” She holds her hand out to Lexi, who takes it, her cheeks flushing pink at Rose’s compliment. I roll my eyes and shake my head. Rose has told me on more than one occasion I should be dating again. I’m sure she took one look at Lexi and already has us paired up.
“Rose…,” I warn playfully. “Behave.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” she says innocently.
“Hmmm, I’m sure you don’t.” I see Lexi looking between us, a confused expression on her face. Needing to move the conversation away from where it’s heading, I turn to Rose. “I was hoping you could talk Lexi through the job. Could you give her a quick summary of what you do? We’re heading to IKEA, but we have half an hour or so before we need to leave.”
“Of course. Come on, Lexi. I’ll show you around.” Lexi smiles at me as she follows Rose upstairs.
I make my way into the kitchen, emptying the shopping bags onto the breakfast bar. After putting everything away in the refrigerator, I grab a can of soda and head outside. Bailey greets me. I fuss him before flopping down on one of the sun loungers around the pool. Putting my can on the table next to me, I close my eyes. I didn’t sleep well last night, and with the sun beating down on my face, I soon doze off.
“Cooper?” a voice calls, pulling me from the depths of sleep. I’m halfway between sleep and consciousness, and I f
eel a warm hand on my arm. The voice calls my name again. “Cooper?”
“Emerson?” I ask, my eyes still closed.
“No, I’m sorry. It’s just me. Lexi.”
My eyes fly open to see her standing beside me, her eyes avoiding mine. Sitting up quickly, I sigh and drag my hand down my face.
“Shit! I’m sorry, Lexi. I guess I was dreaming.”
“It’s fine,” she says, waving her arm. “I didn’t know if I should wake you or not. I’ve finished with Rose.”
Rubbing my eyes, I swing my legs to the side of the lounger and stand up. “Great. Shall we head out to the truck? You can tell me how you got on.”
“Cooper, are you sure you want to go? It can wait until another day.”
“I’m sure, Lexi. Come on. Let’s get you some furniture.” Embarrassed to having called her by Emerson’s name, I walk toward the house, leaving her standing by the pool. As I make my way inside, Rose is in the kitchen, loading a pile of laundry into the machine.
“You’ve chosen well there, Cooper. Lexi is lovely.”
Distracted, I barely hear what Rose says. Absentmindedly nodding my head, I snatch up my keys off the breakfast bar as Lexi walks in from outside. Remembering the key I got cut for her this morning, I reach into my pocket and pull it out.
“Before I forget…,” I say, holding it out to her.
“Thank you.” She crosses the room and takes the key from my hand.
“Lexi could have had my spare key.” Rose announces as she watches our exchange.
“It’s the key to the apartment above the garage,” I tell her. “Lexi is going to be moving in there. We’re heading to IKEA now for some furniture for the place.”
Rose nods and walks over to Lexi, taking the key from her hand. “I’ll get it cleaned for you while you’re gone. It’s not been opened up for a while, so I know it will need an airing.”
“You don’t need to do that,” Lexi exclaims. “I can clean it myself.”
Rose shakes her head. “Where are you going to put all your new furniture when you get back if the apartment isn’t clean?” She slips the key into her pocket and continues to load the washing machine. “No arguing. I’m cleaning it.”