by Laura Farr
“She has done a great job,” I agree as I walk into the small bathroom to see that everything is spotless.
“Looks like I’ve got a lot to live up to if her cleaning skills are this good.”
“I’m sure you’ll be great. Come on. Let’s get the rest of the boxes in and I’ll find my tools.” She nods and follows me down the stairs.
Ten minutes later, we’ve hauled the last of the boxes into the apartment. We spend the next hour building the bed frame, and by we, I mean me. Lexi is shockingly bad at assembling furniture. She tried to build the dresser, but when she started putting the pieces together upside down, I suggested she help me instead. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to be offended. In fact, she looked relieved.
The bed frame is almost finished when I hear footsteps on the stairs. The door is open, so I look up to see Bella poking her head around the opening. She smiles when she sees me, but her whole face lights up when she catches sight of Lexi.
“Lexi!” she cries, running into the room and sitting on Lexi’s lap.
“Hi, sweetheart.” She folds her arms around Bella and hugs her. “How was preschool?”
“Good. I did painting.”
“That sounds fun. I can’t wait to see.”
There’s a knock on the door. I look from Bella to see Rose in the doorway. “I’ll be off now then, Cooper, if that’s okay?”
“Of course, Rose. Thank you for everything you’ve done today. The apartment looks great.”
“Yes. Thank you so much, Rose. It looks amazing,” Lexi says. Standing, Bella on her hip, she walks to Rose and pulls her into a one-armed hug.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow, Cooper.”
I wave as she makes her way down the stairs. Watching Bella with Lexi, I make a face.
“Doesn’t your old dad get a hug?” I ask, feigning hurt. Lexi puts Bella down and she runs over, throwing her arms around my neck. Holding her tightly, I kiss her on the head.
“Daddy, what are you doing?” She pulls out of my embrace and walks around the room, navigating the empty boxes and packaging. I hadn’t mentioned to her about Lexi living here, but I knew she would be excited that Lexi would be so close.
“Lexi is going to live here, baby girl. I’m just helping her put together her furniture.” Her face lights up with a smile, and I crook my finger at her to come closer. I whisper into her ear. “Lexi is really bad at building things, so she needed my help.”
“Hey!” Lexi cries. “I heard that!”
Bella laughs. “I can help, Daddy. I’m good at building stuff. We can teach Lexi what to do.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” I pat the floor next to me and she sits down. With Lexi’s help, she passes me the things I need to finish the frame. When it’s in place, I see Bella frown.
“Your bed doesn’t look very comfortable.” She screws her face up as she looks at the slats.
“That’s because my mattress isn’t on it yet. It will be really comfy when it’s all made up,” she explains.
“Can I have a sleepover?” Bella asks. “We could watch Tangled and eat popcorn again.”
“I think that sounds like a great idea, but maybe you should ask your daddy,” Lexi tells her, glancing over at me. “And we would need to wait until I get a TV.”
“Can I, Daddy? Can I?” she cries, her face taking on an expression that I’m somehow powerless to say no to. I look over to Lexi, who smiles and nods.
“Sure, sweetheart, if Lexi doesn’t mind. Now, shall we go and get ready for the barbeque? Maddie and Alex are coming.”
She squeals with excitement and grabs Lexi’s hand, tugging her down the stairs. I chuckle and follow, smiling as I hear Bella asking Lexi if they can go in the pool. I knew she wouldn’t forget.
A couple of hours later, I stand in front of the barbeque, trying not to burn the sausages. When Emerson was alive, she loved to invite people over. It was a longstanding joke that if you came to one of our barbeques, there was a strong possibility I was going to burn at least the sausages, if not everything. Bailey knows this, too, and sits by my side, waiting for me to throw him anything that’s too burned to serve, which is pretty much everything at the moment.
“Daddy, watch!” Bella cries.
Turning from the barbeque, I smile as I see her in the pool with Lexi. She’s not wearing her floaties, and Lexi is treading water next to her as she swims across the pool. Her little arms and legs splash through the water, and there is a huge smile on her face. When she reaches the other side, she throws herself at Lexi, her arms going around her neck.
“Well done, baby girl! That was amazing!” I tell her, pride coursing through me. It was important to Emerson that Bella love the water. Watching her swimming with Lexi, I know I haven’t let Emme down. I catch Lexi’s eye and mouth, Thank you. She smiles before somehow coaxing Bella to put her floaties back on so she can play in the water. I turn back to the barbeque, trying not to notice how incredible Lexi looks in her bikini.
Thirty minutes later, Maddie and Alex arrive. It’s strange to see them together, holding hands. I’m tempted to tease Mads, but I know their relationship is in the early stages, so I don’t. I couldn’t be happier for them, though. It’s been a long time coming.
Bella has finally had enough of being in the pool, and her and Lexi are sitting on one of the loungers, wrapped in towels. After Maddie hugs me tightly and Alex slaps me on the back, they make their way around the pool. I watch as she introduces Alex to Lexi. They chat for a few minutes before Alex leaves the girls and makes his way back to me. He looks down at the barbeque and frowns.
“Dude, what they hell are you cooking on there? I can’t even tell what it is!”
I smack him on the shoulder before laughing. I can’t argue with him. It doesn’t look at all appetizing.
“Maybe we should order pizza,” I suggest.
“Nah. Just move. I’ll handle it.” He takes the tongs out of my hand and reaches for the plate of meat I’ve just gotten out of the fridge. “It’s definitely time to hang up your utensils,” he jokes as he removes the burned sausages from the rack. “How have you been today?” He looks sideways at me and gives me a small smile before loading the barbeque with chicken.
“Not too bad. I’ve spent the day with Lexi. It was good.”
He looks at me in surprise. “Really? That’s great. I’m glad you didn’t spend today alone. Lexi seems nice.”
“She is.” He turns to me and raises his eyebrows in question. I shake my head and glance across the pool to where Bella is sitting on Lexi’s lap. “It’s not like that. She’s a friend.”
“So, what have you two friends been doing all day?”
I roll my eyes. “You’re a dick, Bolton,” I tell him.
He laughs and shrugs. “Well? What did you do?”
“I took her get some furniture, then we went for lunch. She’s going to be moving into Emerson’s studio.”
“Yeah, Mads mentioned that.”
“Anyway, enough about me. What about you and my baby sister?” I nudge my shoulder against his and he grins.
“It’s good, Coop. Really good.”
“I’m glad, man. I hope it works out for you.”
We spend the rest of the evening chatting and eating the food Alex cooked on the barbeque. Bella is in her element having Maddie and Lexi here. She’s happily going between the two of them, sitting on each of their laps in turn. She’s currently sitting with Lexi, who is braiding her hair. When Bella yawns, I know she’s tired. It’s past her bedtime, but with everyone here, I’ve let her stay up later. She doesn’t have preschool tomorrow, so she can stay in bed a little longer than usual.
“Come on, baby girl. It’s time for bed. Give everyone kisses and cuddles and I’ll take you up.”
“I want Lexi to take me to bed, Daddy,” she says on a yawn.
“No, sweetie. I think Lexi wants to rest.” She’s been with Bella all evening. I don’t want her to think I’m taking adva
ntage. She’s not even working for me yet.
“I don’t mind, Cooper,” Lexi says, standing up and lifting Bella into her arms. I watch as Bella drops her head on Lexi’s shoulder. Putting her thumb into her mouth, she closes her eyes.
“Night, Bells,” Maddie whispers, standing up and brushing a kiss on Bella’s head.
“Night, Aunt Maddie. Night Uncle Alex,” Bella says sleepily around her thumb, her head not lifting from Lexi’s shoulder.
“I’ll come with you. Show you where everything is.” I follow her through the house and upstairs. She stands to the side once she reaches the landing, and I lead the way to Bella’s room. Lexi sits on the bed with Bella and begins to remove her bathing suit. Opening her dresser drawer, I find some pajamas.
“Daddy?” Bella mutters, wriggling from Lexi’s lap, her bathing suit half off. Lexi watches as she runs across the room, throwing her arms around my neck. She whispers into my ear as I wrap my arms around her, my heart full of love for her. My eyes find Lexi’s worried ones and I give her a reassuring smile.
“She won’t, sweetheart. I promise,” I whisper back to her. “It’ll be all right.”
“Everything okay?”
Bella looks at me, then at Lexi. I nod and stand up, reaching into the basket on top of her dresser that holds her Pull-Ups.
“Bella wears a Pull-Up at night and is a little embarrassed. She doesn’t want you to think she’s a baby,” I explain.
The expression on Lexi’s faces softens and she holds her hand out. “Come here, Bells.” Bella looks at me. I smile encouragingly, watching as she moves slowly toward Lexi. “Can I tell you a secret?” Lexi asks as she pulls her onto her lap. Bella chews her fingers and nods. “I was five, nearly six, before I stopped wearing Pull-Ups at night. You’re four, right?” Bella nods. “Well then, there is plenty of time to get you out of those. I definitely don’t think you’re a baby, okay?”
“Okay,” she replies quietly, giving Lexi a small smile.
“Shall we get you to bed?” Bella nods and lets Lexi remove her bathing suit.
“I’ll leave you girls to it then,” I tell them both, smiling gratefully at Lexi. Kissing Bella on the head, I leave her room and sit on the top step of the stairs. I’m pretty sure what Lexi told Bella isn’t true, but I don’t care. She’s made my baby girl feel okay about something I know she hates. There is nothing more precious to me than Bella. Knowing the person I’ve trusted to care for her adores her, too, makes me grateful to have found her.
I only have to wait ten minutes before the door to Bella’s room opens and Lexi sneaks out. She looks surprised to see me waiting for her.
She sits next to me on the step, playfully bumping her shoulder into mine. You okay?” she asks quietly.
I nod. “Thank you for what you said in there, for making that up to make Bella feel better. I’ve tried a few times to get her dry, but she doesn’t even wake when she wets the sheets. She ends up lying in them all night and crying when she wakes up and realizes she hasn’t managed to make it through the night.”
“She’ll get there, Cooper. Sometimes it just takes a little longer for some children. I know that because I wasn’t making it up. I really was nearly six. I don’t know any adults who wet the bed, though. It’ll come when she’s ready.”
“Sometimes I feel like Emerson would have known what to do. I just seem to be stumbling along, hoping against hope that I’m not screwing her up along the way.” I feel her hand cover mine and she squeezes gently.
“I haven’t got kids, Cooper, and I’m no expert, but that little girl in there…” She gestures with her head to Bella’s bedroom. “She’s the sweetest, kindest, happiest little girl I know, and that’s all because of you. You made that happen. You’re a single guy bringing up your daughter. There are going to be times you have no clue what you’re doing, but that’s okay. You’ll figure it out. This is just one of those times.” Her thumb circles the skin on the back of my hand, making goose bumps erupt on my arm. Turning my hand over, I lace my fingers with hers.
“You make me sound like some kind of superhero.”
“You’re Bella’s superhero. Guaranteed.”
“I hope so.” I glance back to her bedroom door and sigh. “It’s hard, Lexi. Really hard.”
“I can’t even imagine.”
We’re silent. I know I should drop her hand, but I don’t.
“I should check if she’s asleep,” I say a few minutes later.
“She’s asleep. I lay with her until she nodded off. I hope that was okay?”
“It’s more than okay, Lexi. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to keep thanking me, Cooper. She’s an incredible little girl. I can’t wait to start looking after her. We’re going to have so much fun.”
“She thinks you’re pretty incredible, too.”
She holds my gaze, and I can’t help but stare back. She is beautiful, there’s no denying that, but seeing how much she cares for the most important person in my life makes me feel things I’m not sure I’m comfortable feeling. I have no idea if I’m even capable of acting on these feelings. Part of me wants to, but Emerson is still very much in my heart. I don’t know if there’s room for anyone else. Lexi deserves more than that. My heart is fractured, and there is a real possibility it won’t ever be whole again.
Forcing myself to look away, I stand up, pulling Lexi with me. I hold her hand for another few seconds, still a little reluctant to let go. Finally slipping my hand from hers, I head downstairs, Lexi silently following.
Outside, Maddie and Alex are snuggled up on the daybed. Seeing us, they jump apart, like teenagers who’ve been caught making out. Offering to help tidy up, they carry all the leftover food into the house.
“Are you staying here, Lex?” Maddie ask as she picks up her purse and slides her arm around Alex.
“Staying here?” Her cheeks flush pink as she looks at me. “No. The apartment isn’t ready yet. I’ll be on the sofa another couple of nights, if that’s okay?”
“Of course. Are you ready to go?”
She nods and turns toward me. “Thank you for everything you’ve done today. I never would have managed to get all that furniture myself.”
“You’re welcome. I had fun. Thank you for everything you’ve done with Bella.” I smile at her and she smiles back. “I’ll help you with the rest of the furniture tomorrow after work.”
“Oh, I’m sure I can manage. I don’t want to take up any more of your time.”
I raise my eyebrows and laugh. “Are you sure about that? You do remember trying to make the dresser earlier, don’t you?”
She bursts out laughing. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Well… Thanks. That would be great.” She walks toward me and, standing on her tiptoes, brushes her lips against my cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Turning to say goodnight to Maddie and Alex, I groan inwardly as I see them watching us, both with a smirk on their face. I shake my head and usher everyone outside before Mads says something to embarrass everyone.
After they’ve gone, I take a quick shower and check on Bella before climbing into bed. It’s been a long but surprisingly good day, considering. I close my eyes, realizing that for the first time in a long time, I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow.
Lexi
Over the next few days, I spend nearly all of my time at my new apartment. Cooper put together the rest of the furniture after the barbeque, then helped me position everything where I wanted it. The drapes are up, and I’d even hung a few pictures, much to Cooper’s surprise after my disastrous attempt at flatpack.
I might not have as much space as I had in Richmond, but it already felt more like home than my apartment there ever did. The more time I spend thinking about my life in Richmond, the more I realize I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was. I spent a lot of time on my own while Greg was “working”, and I’d managed to convince myself that our relationship was perfect when, in reality, it had been far from it.
> It was Friday, and today, I officially moved in. To celebrate, and thank Cooper for everything he’d done, I offered to cook a meal for him and Bella. Rose had decided not to work her two weeks’ notice when she found out I’d be moving in. Her last day working for Cooper was yesterday. That meant from next week, I’ll be looking after Bella, and I can’t wait.
I went to the grocery store this morning, and after checking with Cooper about what Bella would eat, I stand in the kitchen preparing spaghetti Bolognese. As I chop the mushrooms, my mind drifts back to the night of the barbeque. I’d been taken aback when Cooper had laced his hand in mine after I’d put Bella to bed. I can’t deny I’m attracted to him, even if my battered heart isn’t sure it’s ready to feel again. It is hard not to notice how incredible he is He’s gorgeous—the kind of gorgeous that wouldn’t look out of place on the front of a men’s magazine. It isn’t just that, though. The time I’d spent with him over the past week showed me what a great person he is. He’s done everything he can to help me. He gave me a job and a place to stay. He even built my bed and hung my drapes. Aside from all of that, the relationship he has with his daughter, how fiercely he cares for her, bringing her up on his own, only adds to his appeal.
It had been an emotional day for him, and despite how my feelings are beginning to develop, I know his actions that night will only have been to seek comfort on a day I’m sure he dreads every year. Telling Cooper I have feelings for him isn’t an option. Maddie told me before I moved to Oceanside that he didn’t date, and I’m not about to jeopardize my friendship with him. I’m more than happy to be his support when he needs it—a good friend.
Turning the volume up on the radio as Justin Bieber’s “What Do You Mean?” begins to play, I dance and sing as I stir the Bolognese. Bailey is lying at my feet on the kitchen floor and jumps up, barking as the song blares from the speakers.
“You like Justin Bieber, boy?” I shout over the music, reaching down to fuss him. He barks excitedly around me as I belt out the words to the song.