Pieces of Me

by Laura Farr

  “I’m not going anywhere, Lex.” I walk back toward her and take her hand in mine. Pulling her down to me, I kiss her gently on the lips. “I’ll be right outside.” She offers me a small smile before closing the curtain.

  Turning, I walk out of the bathroom and flop down onto the bed. I’m trying to stay calm on the outside, for Lexi’s sake, but inside, I want to punch the goddamn wall. A million scenarios play out in my head of what could have happened if I hadn’t answered my phone. If I hadn’t realized what was happening and raced home. If I’d gotten stuck in traffic and arrived five minutes after I did. Groaning, I roll over and punch the comforter. It’s not as satisfying as it was when I knocked Greg out, but it helps a little.

  A little while later, I hear the shower turn off, followed by the door to the bathroom opening. Looking up, I see Lexi standing in the doorway, wrapped in a towel. Sitting up, I hold my hand out to her.

  “Come and lie with me, baby?”

  Walking toward me, she climbs onto the bed and snuggles into my side. We’re silent for a few minutes while I hold her, neither of us knowing what to say.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask, breaking the silence.

  “I’m okay. Just glad it’s finally over. It is over, isn’t it?” She lifts her head, her eyes meeting mine.

  “Yeah, Lex, it’s over. With what he’s getting charged with, he’ll be away for a long time.”

  “I thought this was my fault—”

  “What! Lex, no!”

  She places her hand on my arm and smiles. “Let me finish.” I nod and wait for her to carry on. “I thought maybe there was something I could have done differently. Something I could have said to diffuse the situation before it got to where it did. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize there wasn’t. Nothing I could have said would have made any difference. He was sick or deluded, maybe both. I’ve spent months blaming myself for the breakdown of our relationship, thinking I wasn’t enough for him. This wasn’t my fault, just like it wasn’t my fault I didn’t realize he had a wife and a family.”

  “No, baby, it’s not your fault. None of it is. He’s just a sick bastard who deserves everything coming his way.” I tug her back to my chest and hold her close.

  We lie in comfortable silence until Lexi’s breathing evens out and I realize she’s fallen asleep. Seeing her hurt and vulnerable makes me realize just how much she means to me. I was ready to kill Greg when I saw him on top of her. The thought of anything happening to her… It’s something I can’t even comprehend.

  Lexi

  It’s been just over a week since the incident with Greg, and Cooper’s back at work after taking a few days off with me. I’ve spent every night since then with him, falling asleep wrapped up in his arms, and waking up the same way. I love it. I’ve forced myself to go out, and although it’s only been a week, I’m determined I’m not going to let what happened define me. The marks on my face have faded to almost nothing, and the bruising on my arms is minimal. In a matter of days, every outward trace of what happened will be gone, and I’m glad. I’m ready to leave it behind and move on with my life.

  The police have been in touch to let us know Greg has been charged with attempted rape and assault. They couldn’t charge him with breaking and entering, as I pretty much let him in, but they assure me they have enough to lock him up for years. Thankfully, he didn’t meet the requirements for bail and pleaded guilty to everything, which saves me having to go to trial. It’ll be a few months before he’s sentenced, but until then, he’ll be kept locked up.

  Despite spending my nights with Cooper, we haven’t slept together yet. We’ve come close a few times, but there is no rush for either of us. Although Bella knows we’re together, I make sure I’m downstairs before she wakes up. There will come a time when she knows I’m sleeping over, but for now, it works.

  It’s Thursday afternoon, and Bella and I are heading to the park. Her friend at preschool has learned to ride her bike without her training wheels, and she’s insisting I remove hers. I want to check with Cooper, but he’s not answering his phone, which after what happened with Greg, is unusual. He’s been calling me four or five times a day since he went back to work to check on me. I hope he’s okay.

  “Pleeeeease, Lexi. Please!”” Her eyes bore into mine, and looking at her face, I don’t think I can say no.

  “Urghhhh, okay—”

  “Yay!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she shouts, interrupting me, and I can’t help but smile at her excitement.

  “I need to find your daddy’s tools.”

  “I know where they are. I’ll show you!” she cries, taking my hand and pulling me into the back yard toward the garage. Although I’m unsure if I should be taking her training wheels off, it’s a welcome distraction from worrying about meeting Cooper’s parents later. They’re back from Australia and we’ve been invited over for dinner tonight. I’m not sure exactly what Cooper has told them about me, aside from that he’s met someone, but I’m not ashamed to say that I’m nervous. I might have met them a handful of times when I was younger, but I wasn’t meeting them as Cooper’s girlfriend back then.

  The garage is a little disorganized, but after five minutes of searching, I finally find what I’m looking for. Bella’s bike is also in the garage, so it takes me no time at all to remove her training wheels. Bella is bouncing with excitement beside me and already has her helmet on, ready to go.

  “Bells, we’ll walk to the park with your bike, and once we’re on the grass, you can try to ride it, okay?” She nods vigorously and runs from the garage down the driveway. “Wait, I just need to lock up!” I shout, stopping her in her tracks. Closing the garage, I rush around the back of the house and lock the back doors, slipping the key into my pocket.

  Ten minutes later, we’ve arrived at the park. Thankfully, it’s pretty quiet and there is an empty expanse of grass that she can ride on. I’ve never taught anyone to ride a bike, but I can remember my dad running behind me and holding my seat, so I opt for the same technique.

  “Ready?” I ask as I stand behind her, holding her steady. She nods, and I start to push her. “Peddle!” I shout. As her speed increases, I begin to run alongside her. “Brilliant, Bella. Keep going.” She’s peddling fast and seems to have her balance, so I let go, still running beside her. She a little bit wobbly but doing really well. I can’t believe she’s still upright. Slowing down to a walk, I let her ride off ahead of me. “You’re doing it, Bella,” I shout, and she glances behind her, a huge smile on her face.

  Wanting to record her on my phone, I reach into my pocket, but come out empty-handed.

  “Shit,” I grumble, remembering I put it down in the garage when I was searching for Cooper’s tools. Following Bella with my eyes, I begin to run toward her as I see that she’s nearing the edge of the grass and showing no signs of slowing down.

  “Use your brakes, Bella,” I shout, hoping she knows how.

  She shoots off the edge of the grass onto the sidewalk that edges the park, her wheels spinning on the uneven ground. She begins to wobble uncontrollably, and I know I’m not going to get to her in time. It’s like I’m watching her in slow motion and there is nothing I can do to stop the inevitable.

  She tumbles off the bike, crashing to the ground. Running over to her, I lift the bike off her and send up a silent thank you that she’s wearing her helmet. She’s crying, and I gently lift her up into my arms.

  “Where are you hurt, sweetheart?” I ask, carrying her to a nearby bench. A passing stranger has picked her bike up from the path and carries it over to where we’re sitting. “Thank you,” I tell him before focusing back on Bella. She’s crying so hard, she can hardly catch her breath. “Breathe, Bella.”

  I hold her close and stroke her hair, encouraging her to calm down. My eyes fly over what I can see of her, finding both knees scraped up. Despite me holding her, her cries aren’t subsiding, and an uneasy feeling washes over me.

  “Let me look at you, b
aby girl.” I gently push her away from me so I can see her better, immediately noticing that she’s holding her arm in an awkward position. “Does your arm hurt?” She still can’t answer me but manages to nod. I gently lift her off my lap and place her on the bench. Kneeling in front of her, I examine her arm. She squeals as my fingers brush her wrist. A wave of nausea washes over me as I realize it might be broken.

  “We need to get you home, Bells. Everything’s going to be okay.” I pick her up, being careful not to knock her arm, and carry her out of the park, opting to leave her bike there. I can’t manage Bella and her bike, I just have to hope that no one takes it. I’m walking as fast as I can back to the house, cursing that I didn’t bring my phone. Her cries have subsided, but she’s whimpering with every step I take.

  “You are such a brave girl,” I tell her, fighting back my own tears. She’s hurt, and it’s my fault. I should never have taken her training wheels off. I’m supposed to keep her safe and have failed.

  Reaching the house, I manage to unlock the door without putting her down. Carrying her into the sitting room, I lay her on the couch. “I’m just going to get my phone. I’ll be right back, okay?” She nods, and I run outside to the garage, grabbing my phone from where I left it.

  Running back inside, I call Cooper as I go. It rings and rings before going to voicemail. “Shit, shit, shit,” I chant as I come to a stop outside the sitting room. Trying Maddie’s number, I pray that she’s not working today. Her phone doesn’t even ring and I’m directed straight to her voicemail. I’ve no other choice but to call a cab. I need to get her to the ER and I don’t know who else to call. Googling a cab company, I ring the number and ask for a car as soon as possible. The dispatcher at the end of the phone assures me that someone will be with me in the next five minutes. Ending the call, I push open the door to the sitting room and sit down on the couch next to Bella.

  “I can’t get hold of Daddy, but I’ll keep calling him.” I promise. “We’re going to get your arm looked at by the doctor, okay?”

  Her eyes go wide, and she shakes her head. “I don’t want him to touch it, Lexi. It really hurts.” Tears track down her face. I want to hold her and make it all better.

  “It’ll be okay, Bells. I promise. I’ll be with you the whole time.”

  “I want Daddy.”

  “I know, sweetheart. I know.” A car horn sounds from outside the house and I stand up to look out of the window. “It’s the cab,” I tell her, checking my pocket for cash before turning and scooping her into my arms. Carrying her to the cab, I tell the driver where we need to go, then fire off a text to Cooper.

  Me: Call me, please. It’s urgent.

  I bite down on my lip as I hit the send button, hoping I’m doing the right thing. I really don’t want to tell him what’s happened in a message. He needs to know straightaway that she’s okay, despite potentially breaking her arm. Messages can be misconstrued. I don’t want him to worry unnecessarily.

  Despite the emergency room being only around a ten-minute drive from Cooper’s house, it seems to take forever. When we finally arrive, I pay the driver before helping Bella out of the cab. She manages to walk into the hospital and we head straight to the reception desk. After explaining what’s happened, we’re directed to a cubicle while we wait to see the doctor. Bella seems to be a little brighter than she was at the house, and there is finally some color in her cheeks. I sit on the gurney next to her and hold the hand that isn’t hurt.

  “Are you excited to see Grams and Pops later, Bells?” I ask in an attempt to take her mind off her arm. She nods and turns to me.

  “Do you think they will have brought me a present?”

  “I’m sure they have. I bet they’ve missed you lots!”

  “Knock, knock,” a voice calls from the outside the cubicle. The curtain is pulled back and a middle-aged man walks in. “Hi there. My name is Dr. Jacques, and who do we have here?” He looks at Bella. I turn to her to see that she’s gone shy and is staring at the floor.

  “This is Bella,” I tell him, squeezing her hand.

  “Hello, Bella.” He turns to me and smiles before kneeling down in front of her. “And is this your mommy?” he asks, gesturing to me.

  She shakes her head and bites down on her lip. “My mommy’s in heaven.”

  Dr. Jacques flicks his eyes to me and I nod sadly.

  “And what brings you here to see me today, Bella?” She looks at me, and I can see the tears welling in her eyes again.

  “Bella was learning to ride her bike without her training wheels. She fell off and hurt her arm,” I tell him.

  “Can I take a look? I promise I won’t hurt you.” She looks at me and I nod, watching as she holds her arm out to him. He gently cradles it in his hands, slowly moving it up and down. Bella winces, and he stops moving it. “I’m not convinced it’s broken as I can move it without too much discomfort, but children can have hairline fractures, so we need to X-ray it to be sure.”

  “Will that hurt?” Bella asks quietly.

  “No, not at all. Do you know what an X-ray is?” She shakes her head and looks uncertainly at me. “An X-ray shows us a picture of your bones. Would you like to see once we’ve taken the picture?” She nods and gives him a small smile. “If you stay in here, I’ll arrange for someone to come and take you to the X-ray department. I’ll arrange some pain relief, as well.” He stands up and turns to me. “Can I have a quick word outside?”

  “Bella, I’ll just be the other side of the curtain talking to the doctor. I’ll be right back, okay?”

  “Okay,” she says quietly, and I follow the doctor out of the cubicle.

  “Is Bella’s father on his way?” he asks once we’re in the corridor.

  “I can’t get hold of him. He’s working and not responding to my calls or messages.”

  “With Bella being so young, we really do need a next of kin here as soon as possible.”

  “I’ll keep trying him.”

  He nods and smiles. “Someone will be with you shortly to take her to X-ray.”

  “Thank you.”

  He walks off down the corridor and I pull my phone from my pocket. There are no missed calls and no messages. I hope he’s okay. It’s unusual for him not to answer his phone. Hitting the call button, I try him again, wishing I had Alex’s number. When it rings and rings, I look up his company online, finding a number for his office.

  “Why didn’t I think of that sooner,” I mumble to myself as I press call and hold it to my ear.

  “Bolton Matthews Construction. Can I help you?” a female voice says on the line.

  “Hi. Can I speak to Cooper, please?”

  “I’m afraid he’s not in the office at the moment. Can I help you?”

  “It’s Lexi, Cooper’s girlfriend. I really need to get in touch with him. Do you know if he has his phone?”

  “Hi, Lexi. Nice to speak to you. I’ve heard a lot about you. Erm… Hang on. Let me check his desk.” She’s gone from the phone for a few seconds before returning. “His phone is here. He must have forgotten it.”

  “Shit!” I exclaim. “God, I’m sorry. I just really need to get in touch with him. Can you call Alex and have him ask Cooper to call me? It’s pretty urgent.”

  “Sure. What’s your number?”

  I rattle off my number before thanking her and hanging up. Sighing, I make my way back in to Bella, who is still sitting on the gurney, cradling her arm.

  “Hey, Bells. How are you feeling?”

  “It hurts, Lexi,” she whimpers, tears trickling down her cheeks.

  “Don’t cry, baby girl.”

  I cross the room and sit next to her. Feeling completely helpless, I put my arm around her, hugging her into me as best I can without hurting her further. I have no idea how Cooper is going to react when he finds out what’s happened. I’m guessing he’s going to be pissed. I wouldn’t blame him if he was.

  A nurse arrives a few minutes later and gives Bella some liquid Ibuprofen for the p
ain. I really hope that it kicks in soon for her. We don’t have to wait too much longer until someone comes and takes us down to the X-ray department. The staff are amazing with her and one of the radiographers has her giggling with his silly jokes.

  “She’s going to be okay,” he says quietly as he walks past me. “No need to look so terrified.”

  I give him a small smile and watch from behind a protective piece of glass while Bella has her X-ray. Just as we’re heading back to the cubicle, my phone rings in my pocket.

  “Oh, thank God!” I exclaim as I pull out my phone and see an unknown number flashing across the screen. “Cooper?”

  “Lexi!” His voice is frantic. “Cindy called. She said you were after me. I left my phone in the office. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, but Bella’s had an accident. We’re at the hospital.” The line goes silent, and I hold the phone away from my ear, checking to make sure the call hasn’t dropped. “Cooper, are you still there?” I ask when I see we’re still connected.

  “Shit! I’m on my way. Is she okay?” he asks, and I can hear the concern in his voice.

  “I think so. She’s just had an X-ray.”

  “You think so?” he shouts, and I wince at his tone. “What the hell happened, Lex?” He doesn’t give me time to reply. “Tell me when I get there. I’m ten minutes away.” He ends the call, and I stare at the phone in my hand. Tears well in my eyes, but I blink them away, not wanting to get upset in front of Bella.

  “Daddy’s on his way, sweetheart,” I tell her, my voice wobbling slightly.

  “I heard him shout at you. Is he mad?”

  “No, Bells. He’s just worried about you. That’s all,” I assure her. If Cooper is mad at me, she doesn’t need to know about it.

  A few minutes later, Dr. Jacques returns. “I’ve got the pictures of your wrist, Bella. Do you want to see?”

  She nods, and he walks into the cubicle, closing the curtain behind him. In his hand is an X-ray. On the opposite wall to the bed there’s a lightbox, which he switches on and clips the X-ray to.