Pieces of Me

by Laura Farr

  “So then, Bella. These bones here are your fingers, and these are the bones in your wrist.” He points to the film with his pen. “And this.” He moves his pen to a small dark line that runs across the larger bone in her forearm. “This is where you’ve broken your arm.”

  I gasp, and she promptly bursts into tears.

  “I don’t want my arm to be broken,” she says through her sobs. Pulling her to me, I comfort her as much as I can.

  “Do you know how we fix a broken arm, Bella?” Dr. Jacques asks as he turns the lightbox off and pulls the film free of the clip. Bella sniffs and shakes her head. “You get to have a big plaster cast on your arm. You can even choose what color the plaster is. What is your favorite color?” He kneels in front of her as he awaits her reply.

  She sniffs again before looking up at me, I smile encouragingly, and she turns to Dr. Jacques. “Can I have pink?” she asks shyly.

  “Of course. I’ll send someone in to sort that out for you.”

  “Thank you,” I say quietly as he stands up and heads for the curtain.

  “You’re welcome. Any news on Dad?”

  “He’s on his way.” He nods as he pulls the curtain back, almost walking straight into Cooper, who’s rushing toward the cubicle.

  “Daddy!” Bella exclaims as she sees him. He rushes past Dr. Jacques and squats down in front of her.

  “Are you okay, baby girl?” His eyes sweep up and down her body before coming to rest on her arm.

  “You must be Bella’s dad?” Dr. Jacques asks, before introducing himself. “I’m sorry to say that Bella has broken her wrist. It’s a hairline fracture, but it will require her to wear a plaster cast for around six weeks. Other than that, she’s perfectly fine.”

  “Broken her wrist?” he repeats. “What the hell happened?” He stands up and looks at me. His face is a mask of worry, but my stomach churns as I see flashes of anger, too.

  “I’ll leave you for a moment,” Dr. Jacques says as he exits the cubicle.

  “Lexi, what happened?” he asks again, his voice getting louder. I wince at his tone and glance at Bella, who’s looking at us with wide eyes.

  “She fell off her bike. I was teaching her to ride without her training wheels. It was an accident. I swear.”

  He frowns, his face full of confusion. “You took her training wheels off? Why?” He’s no longer shouting, but his tone is harsh.

  “Please, don’t be mad at Lexi, Daddy. I made her do it,” Bella says before bursting into tears.

  His face softens when he sees her crying, and he gently lifts her into his arms. “Hey… Don’t cry, sweetheart. I’m not mad at Lexi.”

  “You are,” she stutters through her tears. “And you shouted at her on the phone, too.” He closes his eyes and holds her close to him, kissing her softly on the head.

  “I’m sorry. I was just so worried. You’re all I’ve got. If anything happens to you…” His voice is choked with emotion, but his words sting. I can only imagine how worried he was to receive a call to say we were at the hospital, but she’s not all he’s got. He’s got me, too. Tears prickle behind my eyes, a combination of devastation at Bella hurting herself and Cooper’s reaction to it.

  “I’ll give you two a minute and wait outside,” I say quietly, slipping out of the cubicle. The tears fall, and I feel guilt wash over me. I let her get hurt when I was meant to be keeping her safe.

  Cooper is never going to trust me with her again, and I don’t blame him. I don’t trust myself with her, either.

  Cooper

  “I’ll give you two a minute and wait outside,” she says quietly, and before I can stop her, she’s slipped behind the curtain and out of the cubicle. I’m overreacting, I know I am. Hell, I broke both my arms before I was six. Accidents happen. I get that. Hearing her on the phone, though, telling me they were at the hospital… It was like finding out about Emerson all over again. The worst possible scenarios were playing out in my head, even though Lex had told me she was fine. I’m an idiot and need to find her. She loves Bella and I know she’s going to be beating herself up. She doesn’t need me sticking the knife in, as well.

  Placing Bella back on the gurney, I sit down next to her. “Will you be okay for two minutes while I go and find Lexi? I think I’ve made her sad.”

  “I’ll be fine, Daddy. I’m a big, brave girl,” she says proudly.

  “Yes, you are,” I tell her quietly as I stand up.

  “You need to promise her ice cream, Daddy. That always cheers me up when I’m sad.”

  I smile at her and ruffle the hair on the top of her head. “That’s a good idea, Bells. I think we’re all going to need ice cream after this.” I pull back the curtain to the cubicle, leaving it open. It’s just across from the nurses station. Noticing an older lady sitting behind the desk, I make my way over.

  “Hi. My daughter’s broken her arm. She’s in cubicle three.” I gesture behind me at Bella sitting on the gurney. “Would you mind keeping an eye on her for me for two minutes? I just need to find my girlfriend and beg for her forgiveness.”

  She looks at me and raises her eyebrows. “That wouldn’t be the pretty blonde who just left in tears, would it?”

  I close my eyes and hang my head, my heart sinking knowing that she’s crying and it’s my fault.

  “I think it might be,” I tell her sadly.

  “She went that way.” She gestures over her shoulder toward the exit, and I really hope she hasn’t gone home. “I’ll watch the little one. Don’t worry…” She pauses as she looks past me. “Accidents happen, son, but it’s clear to see how much she loves that little girl, and I’ve only seen them together for the past hour.”

  I nod, knowing she’s right. “Thank you. I won’t be long,” I tell her as I head away from the desk toward the exit. My eyes search the waiting area, but I don’t see her. I make my way to the exit and the automatic doors open. Standing just outside, I scan the parking lot to see if I can see her.

  “Cooper?” a voice says from the left of me. Spinning, I see Lexi sitting on a bench outside the hospital entrance. Her face is red and blotchy, and it’s obvious she’s been crying. “Is Bella okay?” she asks, her face a mask of concern.

  “She’s fine. One of the nurses is watching her for me.”

  “You should be with her. She was asking for you.” Her eyes drop to her lap where her hands play with the hem of her tank.

  “We should be with her,” I say softly, and I wait as her head lifts and her eyes meet mine. “Lex, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just… When I got that call, it was Emerson all over again. Even though you said she was fine, my brain didn’t take that in.” She bites down on her bottom lip. I can tell that’s she’s fighting tears.

  “It’s all my fault,” she chokes out. “I took her training wheels off. She was doing so well on the grass, but then she couldn’t stop. I tried to run after her, tried to stop her, but I couldn’t get to her in time.” She’s sobbing, and I can’t bear to see her so upset. Sitting on the bench, I pull her into my arms.

  “Shhhh,” I soothe. “It was an accident, Lex. Kids have accidents all the time.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispers.

  Leaning back, I cup her face, lifting it so she has to look at me. “Stop apologizing. It was an accident,” I repeat.

  Lowering my face to hers, I kiss her softly on the lips. Pulling back, my thumbs wipe away her tears. I reach down, taking her hand.

  “Come on. Bella’s worried about you.”

  She lets out a sarcastic laugh and shakes her head. “She’s worried about me? I’m not the one with the broken arm.”

  “She loves you, Lex,” I tell her simply, tugging her behind me as we head back inside. Walking through the waiting area, we come to a stop outside of the cubicle. The nurse who I asked to watch Bella is sitting beside her on the gurney. Bella is smiling.

  “Are you okay, Lexi?” Bella asks as we enter the cubicle. The nurse stands up and walks toward us.r />
  “You have the best little girl,” she says with a smile. “Hope you sorted things out.”

  “She is pretty amazing,” Lexi replies, dropping my hand and walking toward Bella. “I’m fine, sweetheart,” she tells her, sitting next to her on the gurney. “It should be me worrying about you.”

  I put my hand onto the nurse’s arm as she goes to walk past me. “Thank you so much for watching her.”

  She pats my hand and smiles. “You’re welcome.” She walks out and I turn my attention back to Bella and Lexi. They are huddled together, their heads touching. I can hear them whispering, but I can’t make out what they are saying.

  “What are you two whispering about?” I ask, looking at them suspiciously. I take a seat in the chair across from the gurney and watch as they both giggle. Lexi mentioned that Bella had been given pain relief for her arm. I’m grateful that it seems to have kicked in and she isn’t feeling as much discomfort.

  “Well, Bella tells me that you were supposed to promise me ice cream. I heard no such promise from you,” Lexi says, a smile playing on her lips.

  “Is that right?” I chuckle as I look between them both and shake my head. “Are you two ganging up on me now?”

  “Maybe…” She winks at me, and Bella giggles again.

  “I guess I better get you some ice cream when we get out of here then. I don’t want to upset my girls.” Lexi smiles before bumping her shoulder gently against Bella’s.

  “Sounds like we’re getting ice cream, Bells.”

  “Yay!” she cries. “I want strawberry.”

  “Mmm… That’s my favorite, too!” Despite the fact that we’re sitting in the ER dealing with a shitty situation, I can’t help but smile. The relationship that’s developed between them is something special, and I’m realizing just how lucky I am to have Lexi in my life.

  An hour later, Bella is sporting a hot pink plaster cast on her wrist. She cried while they were manipulating her arm. It was heartbreaking to watch, knowing I couldn’t stop her pain. Her knees have been cleaned up too, and I’ve filled out a bunch of forms for the insurance. We’re finally ready to leave. Scooping Bella into my arms, I sit her on my hip and reach for Lexi’s hand, walking outside.

  “Shit,” I mumble as we stand outside the automatic doors. “Alex dropped me off. I don’t have my truck. Can I borrow your phone? I’ll give Alex a call, see if he can come and pick us up.” She digs her phone from her pocket and hands it to me. Smiling, I take it from her and dial Alex’s number. It rings once before he answers.

  “Lexi?” Alex asks.

  “No, man. It’s me.”

  “Cooper, how is she? Maddie’s here. We’ve been worried sick.”

  “She’s okay. She’s broken her wrist, but she’s okay.”

  “Fuck! How did she do that?”

  “It’s a long story. Can I fill you in later? Any chance you can come and pick us up? We’re kind of stranded without my truck.”

  “Sure. I’m leaving now.”

  “Thanks. We’re standing outside the emergency room.” I end the call and we sit on the bench while we wait for Alex to arrive. Bella yawns and snuggles closer into my chest while Lexi drops her head on my shoulder.

  “I think I’d better tell my parents we won’t be coming over tonight.”

  Bella lifts her head off my shoulder and pouts. “No, Daddy. I want to see Grams and Pops. I want to show them my plaster. Please, can we go?”

  How can I say no to her after what she’s been through? Plus, I know she’s been counting down the days until my parents got home.

  “If you’re sure you’re okay, Bells. I guess we can go for a bit.” She smiles and drops her head back onto my shoulder.

  “Oh god. I’d forgotten about meeting your parents.” I can hear the nerves in Lexi’s voice and I wrap my spare arm around her.

  “They’ll love you, babe. It’s not like you haven’t met them before.”

  “Yeah, when I was twelve! It’s a little different meeting them as your girlfriend. Especially your girlfriend who broke their granddaughter.”

  “You didn’t break her, Lex. I broke both my arms before I was six. It happens.”

  “You did?” she asks sitting up. “How?”

  “First time, I was jumping on my bed and fell off; the second, I fell off the monkey bars at school.”

  “You fell off a lot of stuff,” she chuckles.

  “Yeah. I was a typical boy. Always getting bumps and scrapes. My mom was always ready with Band-Aids and hugs.”

  “I bet they adore Bella.”

  I nod and smile. “They do. They’ll have missed her so much. This is the longest they’ve been away from her.”

  She snuggles into my side and I pull her close. She’s nervous, but she needn’t be. What I told her is true. They will love her just like I’m beginning to. It’s the first time I’ve allowed myself to even think about the depths of my feelings for her, but it’s not something I can deny to myself anymore. I’m not ready to say the words out loud. I don’t know when I’ll be ready for that. I’m falling in love with her and there is nothing I can do to stop it, even if I wanted to.

  A horn sounds and I look up to see Alex pulling into the parking lot. The door flies open and Maddie jumps out, rushing over to Bella.

  “Are you okay, princess?” she asks, kneeling in front of her. Bella slides off my lap and holds up her plastered arm.

  “I broke my arm, but look at my plaster. It’s pink!” she exclaims.

  “Wow, that’s cool, Bells, you are so brave,” Maddie tells her, pulling her into a hug. I take her hand and guide her toward Alex’s truck. Maddie and Lexi follow behind, and I listen to their conversation.

  “Are you okay?” Maddie asks her. “You’ve had quite a week, Lex.”

  Maddie has seen or spoken to Lexi nearly every day since the incident with Greg, and I’m grateful they have such a strong friendship. I smile as I glance over my shoulder to see their arms linked.

  “I’m fine, it was scary, Mads. I never want to see her in that much pain again.”

  “She’s okay, Lex. Thank God you were there. I would have gone to pieces.”

  “It’s my fault she’s here. If I hadn’t taken her training wheels off…” I hear Lexi’s voice crack with emotion and turn around, forcing them to stop walking.

  “Please, stop blaming yourself, babe. She’s fine,” I tell her, gesturing to Bella as she runs ahead of me, showing her cast to Alex.

  “It was an accident, Lexi,” Maddie reiterates. “Don’t beat yourself up.”

  She nods, but I can tell she isn’t going to forgive herself anytime soon.

  Alex drives us into Oceanside, and I pick up my truck from work. Bella has fallen asleep, so Alex offers to drive her home while I follow behind. Carrying her inside, we wave to Maddie and Alex, arranging to meet them at my parents in an hour.

  Letting Bella sleep, I jump into the shower while Lexi goes back to her place to get changed. She keeps some of her clothes at my place, but she wanted something nice to wear to meet my parents.

  By the time I’m out of the shower, Bella is awake and sitting on the bed with Bailey. “Hey, Bells. How are you feeling?”

  “Good, Daddy.” I nod, grateful that the pain meds they gave her at hospital are keeping the pain at bay. “Where’s Lexi?”

  “She’s just getting ready to go to Grams and Pop’s house. She won’t be long.”

  She nods and bites down on her lip. “Is Lexi mad at me?” Her voice is quiet, and I frown as I sit next to her on the bed.

  “No, baby girl. Why would you think that?” Her bottom lip wobbles and she won’t look at me. “Bella?”

  “I made her take my training wheels off. She didn’t want to. It’s my fault.” She looks so small sitting on my bed, and I feel a rush of love for her, knowing she was honest enough to tell me.

  “It was an accident, sweetheart. It’s no one’s fault. Lexi is definitely not mad at you. She loves you very much. Okay?”
<
br />   She sniffs and nods. “I love her, too, Daddy.”

  “I know, Bells.” I want to tell her that I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her, too. But I can’t bring myself to say those words, the words I thought I’d only ever say to Emerson, even if they are true. I kiss her softly on the head and stand up, crossing the room to my walk-in closet.

  “I’m going to find my blankie,” Bella calls out, and I hear her leave the room with Bailey following. Looking around my closet, I reach for a dark blue shirt and slip it on.

  “Hello?” I hear Lexi call out.

  “In here,” I shout. I turn with my shirt still unbuttoned as Lexi pokes her head around the closet door. Walking in, I see she’s wearing a floral summer dress that sits just above her knees. The material wraps around her breasts, showing just enough to make me want to reach out and touch her. Not that I need an excuse to do that. I watch as her gaze tracks up and down my body, heat flaring in her eyes. Walking quickly toward me, she puts her warm hands on my naked chest. Encircling my arms around her waist, I hold her close.

  “Hey,” I whisper. “You look beautiful.”

  “So do you.”

  “I’m wearing hardly any clothes,” I say with a chuckle.

  “Exactly.” She winds one of her hands around my neck and pulls my head down. “Do you know how sexy you look?” she whispers. My lips brush against hers and she moans into my mouth as I deepen the kiss.

  “Daddy,” Bella calls. “Where are you?”

  Pulling out of the kiss, I take a small step back, my arms still around Lexi. “We’ll finish this later,” I mutter, kissing her again. Dropping my arms, I step away and walk out into the bedroom.

  “I’m here, Bells. Are you ready to go?” She’s holding her favorite pink dress in her uninjured hand, along with her tattered blanket.

  “I want to wear this, Daddy, but I can’t do it with my arm.”

  “I’ll help you, sweetheart,” Lexi says as she comes out of the closet. Bella smiles as Lexi kneels in front of her. After helping her out of her clothes, being careful of her cast, she dresses her in the pink dress. “Shall I braid your hair?” Bella nods and they walk hand in hand to Bella’s room. Smiling, I finish getting dressed before meeting them both downstairs.