by Laura Farr
“Is that what you need, sweetheart? he asks, finding my clit and sucking it into his mouth.
“Fuck, yes!” I cry as my hands go into his hair, holding him against me. His tongue continues to flick over my clit and I fist the sheets, overwhelmed by how good he’s making me feel. His mouth is relentless, and when I think it can’t get any better, he pushes two fingers inside me. Crying out his name, I come hard, my legs twitching uncontrollably. His fingers and mouth continue until he’s pulled the last of my orgasm from my body.
Cooper crawls up my body and kisses me, his erection pressing into my leg. Reaching my hand down, I undo the button and zipper on his shorts, attempting to push them down his legs. Kissing me once more on the lips, he climbs off the bed and removes his shorts and boxers. His erection springs free, I sit up on my elbows to watch the beautiful man in front of me. He smiles at me before crossing the room and picking up the brown paper bag he’d tossed on the table as we entered the room. Kneeling back on the bed, he rolls a condom on and brings his body over mine. Kissing me softly, his hand cups my face.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispers, his thumb stroking my cheek. His lips find mine again, and this time, he kisses me until I can barely breathe. His tongue duels with mine, and I can feel his erection, hot and hard, between my legs. Pulling out of the kiss, his eyes meet mine as he positions his erection against my entrance. Moving forward slowly, he pushes inside me. I gasp as he enters me, and he stills.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, his voice breathless.
“God, no!” I exclaim, lifting my hips in a silent plea for him to keep moving. He thrusts against me until his hips meet mine and he fills me completely. Pausing, he drops his head and closes his eyes. When he still hasn’t moved a few seconds later, I bite down on my lip.
“Are you okay?” I reach my hand up and run my fingers through his hair.
“You feel so good, Lexi.” His head is still dropped, his voice low. “I just need a minute. Otherwise, this will be over before it’s even started.”
I place my fingers under his chin and gently lift his face so that he’s looking at me. Pulling him toward me, I kiss him, snaking my tongue into his mouth. He lets out a groan before slowly pulling out. He thrusts against me and I bite down on his lip, wrapping my legs around his back. As he rocks into me, he pulls back slightly, his eyes never leaving mine. I can’t help thinking that this feels like more than sex. It feels like we’re making love. I’ve never had sex and wanted to look into a partner’s eyes before. With Cooper it’s different. I can’t take my eyes off him.
He continues to move against me, and I feel my orgasm building. His breathing is labored and I think he’s close, too. His hand slips between us and his fingers brush my clit.
“Cooper,” I moan tugging on his hair, my hands winding around his neck. Finding his lips, I kiss him like I might die if I don’t. His fingers continue to circle my clit and my orgasm is right there. His thrusts become more urgent, and as his fingers pinch my clit, I fall over the edge, moaning into his mouth. My body shakes with my orgasm as the pleasure comes in waves, over and over again.
“Fuck!” Cooper cries as he comes, my orgasm triggering his own. He shudders before he collapses on top of me, completely spent. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close, waiting for our breathing to even out.
A few minutes later, he kisses me before slowly pulling out and climbing off the bed. I push myself up on my elbows, watching his gorgeous ass as he crosses the room and pushes open the door to the bathroom. Glancing over his shoulder, he winks at me as he disappears inside.
Flopping back onto the bed, I can’t help but smile as I bring my arm up over my eyes. What just happened was way better than I could ever have imagined.
“You look happy,” Cooper says from the side of me. Moving my arm from over my eyes I look at him standing next to the bed. Reaching for his hand, I pull him down so he’s lying next to me.
“I am happy, Coop,” I say simply. He winds his arms around me and I snuggle into his bare chest. “Are you okay?” I know taking the next step in our relationship is a big deal for him. I want him to know he can talk to me if he’s struggling with anything.
He sighs and holds me closer. “I’m good, Lex. Really good.”
I didn’t realize I was worried about his response, and I let out a silent sigh of relief. He’s stroking his fingers up and down my arm, and those three little words I’ve been fighting to keep down bubble up to the surface again. I’m desperate to tell him how I feel, but fear holds me back. I fear that saying those words will jeopardize everything if he doesn’t feel the same.
“Shall we order room service?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Mmm, that sounds good.”
He kisses me softly before sitting up and walking back into the bathroom. Coming out a few seconds later, he’s wearing a white fluffy robe. Handing an identical one to me, his eyes roam my naked body.
“Put this on, or else I’m going to want to eat you for dinner.”
“I’d be okay with that,” I say seductively. He leans over the bed, his hand cupping my breast. I moan as his thumb circles my nipple.
“I’m saving you for dessert,” he whispers, kissing my lips. I’m already turned on and he’s hardly touched me. I can see his growing erection tenting his robe, and as my hand reaches underneath the material, his phone rings from the table by the door. Groaning, he rests his forehead on mine. “I’d better get that.” I smile and nod, slipping the robe on as he turns and jogs across the room. Climbing off the bed, I wince at the delicious sting I feel between my legs, a welcome reminder of what we’ve just shared.
Walking toward Cooper, I slip my arms around his waist, resting my head on his back as I listen to his conversation.
“Of course you can call us, baby girl. You can ask Grams to call me anytime.” His free hand comes over mine and he circles his thumb over the back of my hand. “What are we doing? Erm… We’re just going for dinner. What did you have for dinner?” He goes silent as he waits for her reply. “Mmm… Hot dogs, my favorite. I bet Grams gave you ice cream, too, didn’t she?” His chest bobs up and down as he chuckles at her reply. “Sure, she’s here. Hold on.” He turns around and I drop my hands from around him. “Bella for you, babe.” He holds the phone out to me and I smile wide, loving that she wants to speak to me.
Taking the phone, I put it to my ear. “Hey, Bells. Are you having fun?”
“I am. Grams and I baked a cake.”
“Wow! I can’t wait to see it.”
“I’ve saved you and Daddy some. It’s chocolate.”
“Yummy. That’s my favorite.” The line goes quiet, and I wonder if she’s ended the call. “Bells? Are you still there?”
“When are you coming home?” Her voice is almost a whisper. I can’t help but feel guilty that we’ve left her. I wish I could wrap her in my arms and hold her tight.
“Tomorrow, sweetheart. You’re having a nice time with Grams and Pops, aren’t you?” Cooper frowns at me and raises his eyebrows in question. “She wants to know when we’re coming home,” I whisper as I cover the phone with my hand.
“I am, but I miss you and Daddy,” Bella replies, her voice still barely a whisper. My heart swells with love for her.
“We miss you, too, pumpkin, but you’ll have lots of fun with Grams and Pops. We’ll be home before you know it. How about we do something fun tomorrow afternoon?”
“Okay. What shall we do?” Her voice has perked up and she sounds excited. I’d normally suggest the pool or the beach, but with her broken arm, that won’t work.
“Erm… What about the zoo?”
“Yes!” she cries. “Can we see the giraffes?”
“Definitely. The giraffes are my favorite.”
“Mine, too!”
“Well, that’s sorted then.” I glance at Cooper to see him smiling at me. He’s got a strange look on his face, and I can’t figure out what he’s thinking.
“Grams says I have to go now. I’m having a bath.”
“Okay, sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Sleep tight.”
“Love you, Lexi.”
“I love you, too, Bells. I’ll pass the phone to Daddy so you can say goodnight to him, too.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I walk to Cooper, who’s sitting on the edge of the bed, and hand him the phone. Smiling, he takes it from me. I flop down next to him and grin as I listen to him tell her he loves her. After saying goodnight, he briefly speaks to his mom, who I can hear reassure him that Bella is fine. Ending that call, he looks over his shoulder at me.
“She misses me,” I say quietly. “I expected her to miss you, but she misses me, too.” He laughs and pulls me up to sit next to him.
“Of course she misses you. You’re a huge part of her world, Lex.” I nod and bite down on my lip. “What?” he asks with a frown.
“Is it crazy I want to go home and get her?”
“No, babe. It’s not crazy. I love that you feel that way about her. I couldn’t ask for anyone to love her more.” He pulls me to him and kisses me softly. “You know she’ll be asleep by the time we get back to Oceanside, right?”
“I know, I know. Like I said, it’s crazy.”
“Mom assured me she was fine.” I nod and smile, knowing he’s right. “And I have more plans for you after dinner.” Winking, he stands up, pulling me with him. Heat pools in my stomach at his words. Despite the fact that we’ve just made love, my body is screaming for his touch again.
Cooper
We’re sitting on the bed, watching a movie while we wait for the room service to be delivered. Lexi is nestled against my chest, and my fingers absentmindedly stroke her hair. I’ve no idea what movie we’re watching. I’m too distracted. Despite being the one to suggest we get a hotel room, I’m not ashamed to admit I was nervous about sleeping with her. I’d only ever been with one other woman since Emerson died, and it was a disaster. I was drunk and emotional and I’m sure the poor woman thought I was crazy. I’d felt guilty for weeks afterward, and I couldn’t help but worry that I’d have those feelings again. Sitting here with her tangled around me, I realize I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. While I will always miss Emerson, there’s no guilt about my feelings for Lex. I’m head over heels in love with her. My guilt comes from the realization that moving on was easier than I thought it would be.
“Coop,” Lexi says, sitting up and turning to face me. “Did you hear me?”
“I’m sorry, baby. What were you saying?” I was so caught up in my thoughts, I didn’t realize she’d been talking to me.
“It doesn’t matter. It was just something about the movie…” She trails off and reaches for my hand. “Are you okay? You seem miles away?”
I hold her gaze, knowing that if our relationship is going to work, I need to be honest about what’s going on in my head.
“Did I ever tell you about my one and only disastrous date?” I let out a sarcastic laugh and shake my head. “I’m not sure you can even call it a date.” I feel her tense beside me and I know this can’t be easy for her to hear.
“No,” she says quietly. “I thought you said there hadn’t been anyone since Emerson died?”
“There wasn’t. Not really. Just a drunken mistake.” She nods, and I can see she’s a little uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, I know you probably don’t want to hear this—”
“No, it’s fine, Coop. Go on.” She gives me a small smile and nods encouragingly.
“Mom and Dad were watching Bella for the night. I was out with Alex playing pool in a local bar. Emerson had been gone for just over two years, and I knew people were thinking I should move on. Alex, Maddie, even Rose commented more than once that I should be dating again. I didn’t want to, but after a while, I wondered if they might be right.”
“I can’t believe people were pressuring you into dating. I’m sorry, Cooper.”
“I think they meant well,” I assure her. “They wanted me to be happy, I guess.”
She nods, and I carry on.
“I had no intention of going home with anyone that night. I had one too many beers, though, and when this woman started to show an interest, Alex said I should go for it. So I did. I can’t even remember her name, but I ended up back at her place.” Lexi is playing with the tie on her robe, her head bowed. “I’m not going to go into details, but I ended up an emotional wreck after I’d slept with her. God knows what she thought when she found me sobbing in her bathroom.”
Her head shoots up, her eyes full of sympathy. “Cooper,” she whispers, reaching for my hand, entwining her fingers with mine.
“I felt so guilty, Lex, like I’d betrayed Emerson. She might have been gone, but I was still her husband. I’d blackened her memory with a drunken one-night stand.”
“No, Cooper. You didn’t blacken her memory. You loved her, and she knew that.”
I pull her onto my lap and hold her close.
“Are you… Are you having second thoughts about us?” Her voice is thick with emotion, and as I look into her eyes, I see them brimming with tears. “Are we moving too fast?”
“No, baby. I can’t pretend I wasn’t worried about how I would feel, moving our relationship to the next stage, but I’m not having second thoughts. Being with you feels right.”
“But you still feel guilty?” she asks quietly.
“Yes, but not like you think.” She frowns, and I know I’m not explaining myself very well. “I feel guilty that I don’t feel guilty.” I shake my head. “I know it doesn’t make any sense.”
“You think you should feel guilty?”
“I thought moving on was going to be hard. That finally leaving Emerson behind would break me. I guess I feel guilty that it’s been easier to move on than I thought.”
She takes my face in both of her hands and softly brushes her lips against mine. “You’re a good man. You deserve to be happy, Coop. Emerson wouldn’t want you to hold onto that guilt.”
“And I am happy, Lex. You make me happy.” I brush her cheek with my thumb and stare into her eyes. “I’ve been fighting with myself about saying three little words to you. Fighting because maybe I shouldn’t be feeling this way so quickly. But I can’t hold them in any longer. I’m crazy in love with you, Lexi Beaumont. I’m sorry if it’s too soon—”
“It’s not too soon,” she says, interrupting me, and I watch as a huge smile erupts on her face. “I’m crazy in love with you, too, Cooper Matthews.” Tears track down her cheeks, and I gently kiss them away.
“These are happy tears, right?”
She nods and buries her face in my neck. “The happiest.” Her words are muffled against my skin, but I hear them.
“Move in with me,” I whisper.
She sits up and looks at me in surprise. “What?”
“I want us to be a family. Me, you, and Bella.”
She bites down on her lip. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Life is short, Lex. I said before that you are our second chance at happiness. I can’t imagine not having you in our lives, and I don’t want to wait.”
A smile forms on her face and she nods. “Okay. I’ll move in with you.”
Relief floods my body and I pull her to me. I think I’ve known for a while how she feels about me. I see it in the way she looks at me, feel it in her kisses. Until this moment, though, I hadn’t been sure. Now I am She loves me, too, and she wants this as much as I do.
I never could have imagined a chance encounter on a beach all those weeks ago would change both mine and Bella’s world forever. Back then, I was stumbling blindly through each day, with only Bella and memories of Emerson to get me through. Meeting Lexi made me see that I was only living half a life, and maybe, just maybe, I could have more. Bella will always be the center of my world, and memories of Emerson are something I will always cherish. After all, aside from Bella, they are all I have left of her. But memories can’t keep you w
arm at night. They can’t wrap their arms around you. They can’t love you back.
Falling in love means I’m finally ready to let Emerson go. She will always have a piece of me. My heart won’t allow me to forget. I’m lucky enough to have fallen in love with someone amazing who understands that. I know not everyone would.
As I lie on the bed with Lexi in my arms, I can’t wait to start the next chapter of my life with her. It’s not a chapter I ever envisioned happening, but sometimes life takes you on a journey you weren’t expecting. I thought I had a choice when Lexi walked into my life. A choice to stay in the past with Emerson or to move on and love again. In reality, I was never in control of that choice. My heart chose for me, and I was powerless to stop it. Some people never get to experience great love in their lives. I’m one of the lucky ones. I had it once, and despite losing it, it found me again. This time, I hope and pray I get to keep it.
Lexi – One year later
It’s been exactly a year since I moved in with Cooper and Bella, and tonight, we are celebrating. Cooper has arranged to take his friends’ boat out again. This time, a very excited Bella is coming.
I’ve curled both my hair and Bella’s, and I’ve decided on something a little nicer to wear than the hoodie and jeans I wore last time. Bella is in her bedroom choosing what dress to wear. While I wait for her, I look in the mirror, smoothing down the material of my floral wrap dress.
Placing my hand on my stomach, I drag in a nervous breath. I’m eight weeks pregnant. I’ve been feeling pretty shitty for a while now, but I kept it to myself, not wanting to worry Cooper. After seeing the doctor this morning, I now know the reason why. I managed to get an appointment with the obstetrician this afternoon, and after an emotional day, I’m breaking the news to Cooper tonight. I’m nervous. We’ve talked about having children, neither of us want Bella to be an only child, but we weren’t trying to get pregnant. I was taking the pill, albeit not very successfully. I think he’ll be happy about it…at least I hope he will.