13
Poor Felicity Bat
‘I don’t know what Celia Crayfish is talking about, saying you’re rubbish. You are really un-rubbish, Fel-Fel,’ Aggie Hoof prattled as they soared through the air.
Felicity Bat punched a cloud and carried on levitating.
‘Is she everything you hoped she would be?’ Aggie Hoof asked. ‘Is she, Fel-Fel?’
Felicity Bat ignored her and levitated a bit higher.
Aggie Hoof bounced after her on her mop. ‘Fel-Fel, are you sad? You look sad.’
‘I’M TRYING TO LEVITATE,’ Felicity Bat snapped, turning her head so Aggie Hoof couldn’t see the tear rolling down her face.
WARWOP!
* * *
HOW TO HIDE FROM DANGER! PANICKERS’
EDITION:
• Caves (NOT THE COVES: THE WITCHES THERE EAT PEOPLE).
• Wardrobes.
• The Invisible Spell (this only works on non-witches. Real witches can still see you, only you look like you’re wearing a cloud).
As no spells will technically protect you from other witches, who – let’s face it – are probably much better at magic than you … we’ve come up with the Witch Box!
STEPS TO MAKE THE WITCH BOX:
You need:
*A large cardboard box (big enough to cover the top half of your body).
*A wide-brimmed witch hat.
*Scissors (CAREFUL WITH THESE! DON’T PANIC!).
*Some glue.
*Some black paint or black paper (or a big black pen).
*A pair of gloves.
*A magazine with pictures of people’s faces (they must look happy and not panicked).
Get the large cardboard box and cut a round hole in the top (big enough to fit your head) add two holes in each side for your arms. Paint the box black, or cover in black paper.
Next, find a picture of a face in a magazine and stick it on to the front with the glue.
Finally, get a wide-brimmed witch hat and cut two holes in the top for you to see out of. Pull the hat down over your face. Put a glove on each hand and get in the box, poking your head out of the top.
THEN NO ONE WILL EVER SEE YOUR SCARED FACE AND WILL THINK YOU ARE A NOT-AT-ALL-TERRIFIED WITCH.
14
Oh So Soaked
The water began to slow as Tiga, Peggy and Fluffanora faced a fork in the river – both watery avenues were covered by large silver bridges that glistened in the soft light.
‘Which way?’ Tiga asked.
Peggy pointed at a sign. ‘That way, on the right, leads around Silver City and on to Driptown. This way, the left, takes us straight into Silver City.’
They all leaned to the left, and the mad broom with feet flapping furiously obliged. After a good ten minutes, they were well and truly SOAKED.
As they turned the final corner into Silver City they went under a bridge and found themselves in a glittering silver cave. There were spots to park the boats, but they were all full. Hundreds of them – silver boats of various shapes and sizes.
The broom glided slowly into an empty space. The cave was eerily quiet and filled with cobwebs. The only sound Tiga could hear was the occasional drip of water into the still pool that surrounded them.
Peggy clambered off, followed by Tiga and Fluffanora.
The ground was smooth and slippery. An old sign pointed towards a tunnel.
‘Silver City Town Square (which is actually more of a circle),’ Tiga read.
The three of them looked at each other.
‘Here we go …’ Tiga said, and on they walked, into the dark, dark tunnel …
15
What a City
‘Whoa,’ Tiga said as they emerged from the tunnel into the bright light of the city square (or circle). It was completely silent apart from the gentle splash of the fountain in front of them. A large stone witch stood in the middle of it, her arms outstretched. As they got closer, Tiga could see in one of her palms sat a curled-up cat and in the other was a paintbrush with a sparkling tip.
She walked towards it, across the perfect slabs of silver pavement. The place felt warm and comforting, despite being completely empty and covered in cobwebs.
Witches’ hats littered the ground.
‘Did they all leave for the Big Exit without their hats?’ Tiga asked.
Peggy shrugged. ‘Maybe they thought they might as well leave them – they’d go all pointy in the pipes and be ruined anyway …’
‘I’m sure Miss Heks took her hat … I saw a pointy one in the house once. I thought it was a costume,’ Tiga mumbled.
‘I think that’s the witch who built Silver City,’ Fluffanora said as she stood transfixed in front of the fountain. Tiga wiped some cobwebs off the sign.
ALICE BRIGHT: FOUNDING WITCH OF
SILVER CITY
(AND ALAN, HER CAT)
SILVER CITY, SINKVILLE’S SECOND LARGEST METROPOLIS, WAS BUILT TO NURTURE GREAT WITCH TALENT. THE TOWN MOTTO IS: DO STUFF REALLY GOOD.
ALICE BRIGHT BUILT A CITY OF EXCEPTIONAL BEAUTY, A SPARKLING GEM IN SINKVILLE’S RAMBLING LANDSCAPE. THE CITY, AND ALICE BRIGHT, WELCOME YOU SILVERLY (THAT’S THE SILVER CITY EQUIVALENT OF ‘WARMLY’).
THANKS FOR VISITING!
Tiga turned around, taking the whole place in. Shops lined the city circle. She walked over to a bookshop called The Silver Stacks, which had lots of copies of Melissa’s Broken Broom in the window. MEET THE AUTHOR, GLORIA TATTY, read the sign in the window. A witch with silver hair smiled in the photo.
‘GLORIA TATTY!’ Fluffanora cried. ‘I love her.’
‘Have you ever met her?’ Tiga asked.
Fluffanora shook her head. ‘Mum said she came into the shop once when she needed a dress – she was going on a TV show on the Fairy Network called Scribbles with Fran. The show didn’t last very long – only two episodes, I think. It was meant to be Fran interviewing authors, but Fran just insisted on dressing up as the characters and re-enacting the WHOLE BOOK. And then she did the scene in the book when Melissa bites into the broom and breaks her teeth. She flew around screaming, “My fabulous tooth is chipped!”, flew straight into Gloria Tatty and got a leg stuck up each of her nostrils. It took them two days to remove Fran from her face. Imagine having Fran stuck up your nose for two days, poor thing.’
‘Poor Fran,’ Peggy said.
‘Poor Fran?’ Fluffanora spluttered. ‘Poor Gloria Tatty!’
‘Fran will be annoyed we sneaked away to Silver City without her,’ Tiga mumbled as she wiped the window of an empty café called Sip. Next to it was a shoe shop called Shoes by Karen, Who Really Struggles to Think of Cool Shop Names.
All the shoes were covered in cobwebs, and Sip was ninety per cent dust.
The shops were flanked by narrow platforms that twisted left and right and led to lots of buildings erected on beautiful sparkly silver stilts.
‘Where do we even begin?’ Peggy asked.
Tiga grinned. ‘Where we know my mum was last seen – at the National Above the Pipes Association, NAPA.’
Fluffanora looked around. ‘So we just need to find NAPA … Anyone know what it looks like?’
‘I DO,’ said a voice, making them all jump.
Tiga gasped.
‘It’s NORMA MILTON!’ Peggy roared, pointing in the air. ‘And she can levitate!’
‘I learned to levitate a long time ago,’ Norma Milton explained. ‘It’s quite easy, really.’
‘It’s almost impossible!’ Peggy said, completely in awe.
‘What are you doing here, Norma?’ Tiga asked.
‘Oh,’ Norma Milton said sweetly. ‘I saw you all leaving and thought you might need this for your adventure! I found it in an old shop years ago.’
She produced a map of Silver City.
‘This is exactly what we need!’ Tiga said, hugging Norma Milton. Because she was levitating, she was really just hugging her legs.
Norma Milton giggled sweetly.
‘Well,’ Fluffanora said, tap
ping the map with her finger. ‘According to this map, NAPA is just across that wobbly platform over there …’
Tiga skipped on ahead. Never had she felt so full of hope, so light and fluttery – This is what it must feel like to levitate like Felicity Bat! she thought.
Which was funny, because at that exact moment Felicity Bat was levitating high up above her head.
16
Walk Like a Sleuth
‘What are you doing, you little perky pest?’
Fran stopped her mid-air walk and looked at Miss Heks, hiding the book she was carrying behind her back: How to Walk Like a Sleuth, and Other Useful Walks.
‘Nothing, you big … monster … face,’ she replied, muttering to herself, ‘That was a pathetic response, Fran.’
Insults weren’t Fran’s specialty. She was, however, fantastic at singing underwater, rollerblading and dining with cats.
‘Well, get out of here. Go on! Shoo!’
Fran slowly – with the long strides of a sleuth – air-walked past the window as Miss Heks pulled the holey curtains. But it was too late. Fran had already seen the six witches in brightly coloured dresses sitting among the cheese inside. They were all grinning at a particularly green apple …
WARWOP!
* * *
Look! Nottie, the Jam and Cats stall owner. Let us dress up her cats in lots of little Witch Boxes!
17
Meanwhile, Back
in Silver City …
NAPA Headquarters sat up high on some sparkling silver stilts. A silvery waterfall fell from the bottom of it, but it wasn’t water; it was shimmering fabric cut in strips to look like water.
‘How do we get up there?’ Tiga asked. She couldn’t see any stairs …
Peggy and Fluffanora shrugged.
Norma Milton levitated higher. ‘I can help with that!’
Tiga stared at the pool of fabric by her feet. If she half closed her eyes, it almost looked like water. It was familiar somehow. Maybe it reminded her of the time Miss Heks took her swimming (she took her to a puddle and threw her into it), or the time she had spilled a huge pot of cheese water on the floor … Or maybe it was familiar because she had been there before, years ago, with her mum …
‘Peggy!’ Fluffanora squealed, startling Tiga out of her thoughts of puddles and cheese water.
Peggy was halfway up the left stilt, and in true Peggy style, was already completely stuck.
Norma was attempting to lift her, screeching ‘Uuuuup! Uuuup!’ but was, if anything, just lifting Peggy’s skirt up.
‘NORMA, YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE!’ Fluffanora shouted up to her.
‘CAN WE ALL REMAIN CALM! THAT IS AN ORDER FROM THE TOP WITCH OF SINKVILLE!’ Peggy shouted down.
‘I was wondering when she was going to lord that over us,’ Fluffanora said with a tut.
Tiga couldn’t help but laugh, until Peggy slipped and fell and landed with an almighty thud in the fabric pool below.
‘PEEEEEEEGGGGGYYYYY!’ she cried.
‘Can she swim?’ Norma fretted as she soared back down towards Tiga. ‘CAN. SHE. SWIM? Have we seen her swim? Can she swim?’
‘It’s fabric,’ Fluffanora said calmly. ‘It’s like, I dunno, falling on to some jumpers.’
Tiga bent down and thrust her hand into the streams of fabric.
Nothing.
‘PEGGY!’ Tiga cried. She couldn’t feel anything but the fabric. It seemed to move in her hands, like worms.
‘I can’t feel her in there!’ Tiga cried.
‘I can’t believe the last thing she did in life was play the I AM THE TOP WITCH OF SINKVILLE card,’ Fluffanora said as Tiga slumped over and shakily said, ‘I think she’s gone.’
‘But I am the Top Witch so I’ll use it if I want!’ Peggy called down.
The three of them slowly looked up. There, dangling out of one of the windows, looking like she was about to fall again, was Peggy.
‘Dive in,’ she said. ‘You fall through the fabric and land here, like magic!’
‘I think, technically speaking,’ Norma Milton said, ‘it’s definitely done by magic. Not like magic. It is magic.’
But Tiga and Fluffanora had already dived in.
18
Fran Dines with Cats
‘Pass the salt,’ Fran said to one of the eight cats in Witch Boxes she was dining with. ‘I know, I can’t believe Tiga would go off somewhere without me either!’
The cat sitting across from her growled.
‘My thoughts exactly, cat number two. Oh, I’ve seen some things, cats. I’ve seen some things. Celia Crayfish for one, and a bunch of Big Exit witches in Miss Heks’s house. I couldn’t quite hear what they were saying, but it looked evil …’
‘Miaow miaow miaow,’ said cat number four.
‘That’s ridiculous, cat number four,’ Fran said, pouring herself some more tea. ‘They can’t take over Linden House.’
‘Miaow miaowmiaow miaowmiaow,’ said cat number one.
Fran threw her hands in the air. ‘Because Linden House is protected by magic. It will only let a young witch of nine years old rule.’
‘Miaowmiaow,’ said cat number four.
Fran shook her head. ‘No, it’s impossible to overpower magic like that. But you’re right, I must find a way to subtly warn all of Sinkville that Celia Crayfish is back. I can’t be too obvious or she might come after me! I know, I’ll use my extreme fame to slyly warn people about Celia!’
‘Miaow miaow,’ cat number four said again, more pointedly.
‘Oh, huge apologies!’ Fran said. ‘I completely misunderstood you, my cat is not what it used to be! Yes, you can have the salt.’
19
Operation Slug
‘Whoa,’ Tiga said.
Peggy was skipping around some huge models of pipes, which were all lighting up, one by one.
Fluffanora was staring at a poster on the wall with an eyebrow raised.
It was a list of countries above the pipes and their traditional dress.
‘Above the pipes is mad,’ she eventually said.
Inside, NAPA was vast. They had arrived via some sort of suction chute, Tiga thought – it had all happened so quickly she hadn’t really figured out how they got there. One minute she was jumping into the pool of shredded shimmering fabric and the next thing she knew she was being sucked upwards. It was a little like travelling in the pipes, only not nearly as much of a smoosh, much more of a whoosh.
The lobby was filled with glowing pipes – they were enchanted, so you could see models of witches moving through them, and the effect pipe travel had on them, in slow motion. In the corner, Tiga spotted a model of floating platforms. They hovered above some fake clouds.
‘Sky Ports,’ Tiga said, reading the sign out loud. ‘The Sky Ports hang above the major Sinkville cities and are used to document pipe activity.’
‘Look at this, Tiga,’ Peggy shouted.
Peppering the walls were hundreds of posters of above-the-pipes things. Famous kings and queens and rulers and politicians from history, even a list of famous people who were actually witch spies for NAPA!
‘Whoa,’ Tiga said as she studied the famous-people poster. ‘I would’ve never guessed she was a witch …’
‘Hey, Tiga!’ Fluffanora was pointing at a poster of slugs. ‘Come look at this.’
Tiga skipped over and landed with a jump next to her.
OPERATION SLUG
Gretal Green has been working on ways to
better study the world above the pipes. Ten
slugs were chosen to act as information
gatherers – they have been fitted with new
magic so they can absorb significantly large
quantities of information. Unfortunately,
we haven’t quite figured out how to make
them go FASTER.
Underneath, there was a photograph of each of the ten slugs. They all looked quite different, which was weird because slugs look almost exactly the same, un
til you look at them very closely.
Fluffanora yanked the slug out of Tiga’s pocket and held it up by the tail.
‘Hmm,’ she said. ‘Not that one …’ Slowly she moved the slug past each photo.
‘Sluggfrey,’ Tiga and Fluffanora said slowly.
‘Sluggawhata?’ Peggy asked, skidding to a halt next to them.
‘She’s a boy?’ Tiga asked, staring at the slug and its massive beehive of Fran-like hair. The slug just blinked at her.
There was no mistaking it – her slug was definitely Sluggfrey. He was smooth and dark grey, with no spots or splodges like the others. Also he had quite big eyeballs.
‘We might need to redecorate the doll’s house,’ Fluffanora said. ‘And remove his beehive of hair.’
Tiga was positive Sluggfrey shook his head.
‘Fran says that’s unisex hair,’ Peggy said.
‘Wait,’ Fluffanora said excitedly. ‘Does this mean Sluggfrey is packed with information?!’
Norma Milton shook her head. ‘That seems very unlikely. Can I hold the slug?’
Fluffanora prodded him.
Tiga stared at the slug in amazement. ‘Perhaps my mum sent him with me. He’s definitely hers! He has always been around. He was in the shed the whole time!’
‘This is very cool,’ Fluffanora said.
‘Where do we even BEGIN?’ Peggy asked, skipping off ahead down the corridor.
‘I guess we should find my mum’s office,’ Tiga said hesitantly. She wasn’t sure what to expect – what she would feel like when she went in and saw her mum’s things … What if she got all upset? What if there were signs of a struggle? Something awful? Worst of all, what if they couldn’t find anything that would help them find her?
She felt something at her side.
‘Oh, oops,’ Norma Milton said sweetly, slowly lifting her hand out of Tiga’s pocket. ‘I just love your slug.’
Witch Watch Page 4