“Naomi,” he said, the sound somewhere between a curse and a plea. I wasn’t sure which was worse. “I had to carry your unconscious body in my arms.”
Finally, I put two and two together, eyes going wide.
Fuck. I’m a terrible person.
All this time, I was so worried about him finding out.
About the way he might treat me when he did.
About me, me, me, to the point I never once stopped to think about him.
Katherine died in his arms. He’d been forced to carry her lifeless body back through the woods and to her parents and family.
I tried to imagine what he must have felt when he caught me after I fainted, and I failed.
Because of my own selfishness, I unwittingly wielded the most painful memory of his life and smacked him in the face with it.
I didn’t know how he was even looking at me. I didn’t want to look at me.
“Now you get it,” he said, searching my face. “For a moment that lasted an eternity, I thought I lost you. I couldn’t even move until I realized you were still breathing.”
The vice around my chest grew tighter with his every word. I could feel this thing between us slowly being crushed, and I didn’t know how to stop the progression. It was my own insecurities that set the screws in place.
My lies that set the gears turning.
I scooted forward on the bed, putting my shaking hand on his tense one. His lips thinned at the touch, and I wanted to bawl my eyes out. It was hard to believe things had gone so wrong so quickly, except they had.
“I can explain,” I said in a rush. Hoping beyond hope that I could salvage this. “I was scared. So, so scared. My family already treats me like I’m made of glass. Incapable. Weak. I couldn’t bear to go through that again.”
He stared at my hand like it was something foreign. “I believe you. You told me how you felt suffocated by your dad and brother, just not why. But you know what really fucks me up, Naomi? That I had to find out the why from a complete fucking stranger. A stranger who asked me all kinds of things about your health that I didn’t have an answer for.”
His eyes were deep pools of disappointment. Anger. Regret. I was drowning in them.
“I had to find out from that same stranger that the girl I’m in love-” He clamped his teeth shut, cutting off his sentence. Not fast enough to stop the agony from slicing through me.
It was only fitting that the four-letter word I thought about more and more as the weeks went by would make an appearance on the same day it slipped out of reach.
Tone stood, distancing himself from my touch. From me. “Maybe this was a mistake,” he said, and enough of the hurt turned to anger that I no longer thought I was about to crumble into dust.
“You know it wasn’t.” I folded my hands in my lap, trying not to fidget. “I’m sorry I kept this from you, and you have every right to be upset, but we weren’t a mistake.”
He stared at me, silence speaking volumes. Heavy steps carried him towards the door, and I grabbed the tattered scraps of my remaining pride and threw them away.
“Don’t go,” I begged. “I know this probably scared you but-”
His head whipped back towards me, eyes flashing, and I knew I’d said the wrong thing.
“Scared?” he bit out. “You’ve got a claim on that market. I don’t get scared.”
Nails digging into the meat of my palms, I glared at him. “You’re lying.”
“You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve-”
I barreled on, ignoring the heat he was throwing my way. “You’re scared of losing me the way you lost Katherine. But I’m not her, Tone.”
“Stop.”
“I won’t.” If this was it, I wanted everything out in the light. Everything. “I can’t say there won’t be hiccups here and there, but I’m not dying. I’m not going anywhere. You’re the one that’s leaving. You’re the one quitting. I regret the way you had to find out, but if you walk out that door right now, that’s on you. That’s you letting fear dictate your actions, instead of dealing with them.”
He watched me, jaw jumping.
I watched him, silently praying.
But if he was my knight.
If I was his princess.
Then my health was the one dragon in all the lands he couldn’t fight and rescue me from.
It would always be there, lurking out of reach. An ever-present reminder that—in spite of whatever measures we might both take—it could attack at any moment. There was a chance, however small, that I could be unlucky.
Just like Mom.
And I watched helplessly from the window of my tower as that realization took hold.
I watched as—for the first time—my honorable knight backed down.
Then I watched his longs legs carry him out the door. And in my head, I heard the sound of hooves galloping into the distance, trampling my heart as they went.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Tone
Scared?
I was fuming as I strode through the hospital. Mad enough nurses and doctors moved out of my path with the kind of haste that spoke of fires lit beneath asses.
There was plenty of anger. A touch of hurt betrayal. A brushstroke of disbelief—because how in God's name was this seriously my life?
But fear? Nah, there wasn't any room left for such a thing.
How could she have kept this from me? After everything I told her about my past, she hadn't thought I might feel some type of way about the woman I was with having an incurable disease?
I scratched violently at my beard, welting the skin beneath. The pain didn't help center me in the least. This was Katherine all over again.
Liar. The thought bit at me, sinking fangs into flesh.
My past and future mingled together, displayed for me to see. The small, vicious voice was right.
This wasn’t like Katherine.
This was worse.
Being in this sterile environment, the chemical stink clinging to my nose and clothing, was making my fucking skin crawl. The distant calm I faultlessly maintained for years was nowhere to be found when I looked inside myself, searching for it. And I knew why. It was another sin I could lay at the feet of the smoothie making woman I once thought of as a saint.
Watching her enjoy life’s moments to their fullest had convinced me to do the same. To leave behind the cold, dark shell I made of my promise and let the light in, along with the rest of the world.
Turned out, that was a huge mistake.
The darkness was comfortable and familiar. This? Feeling everything beating into my chest?
This shit was agony, plain and simple.
“There you are,” said a familiar voice, and I looked up to find Lynn in my path, streaks of motor oil going down the side of her face.
I kept walking, sliding by her without a word. Obviously, in my irritated state, I forgot who I was dealing with.
“I don’t think so.” She grabbed my arm, and I paused because I had no other choice. I could either listen to her now, and get out the moment I saw an opportunity, or refuse and face one of her infamous tantrums.
Lynn could make one hell of a scene when she put her mind to it.
“Where’s Naomi?” she asked. “And why aren’t you with her?”
I jerked my arm from her grasp, straightening my jacket. “Room two-twelve. And she’s got her own lies for company.”
“So, you’re mad.”
“Mad doesn’t even get me started.”
“Don’t be a dick,” she said, glaring. My eye twitched. “Yeah, she kept it from you. So what? She has diabetes, Tone. It’s not cancer. Even if it was, would it really be any of your business?”
She didn’t understand. “That’s not the kind of thing you keep from people close to you.”
People who love you...
Lynn shook her head, staring daggers at me. “That’s not your call to make. I’m sure she would’ve told you on her own before long. She wanted to feel no
rmal, and it blew up in her face.”
“You bet your ass it did.”
“You know, for a smart guy you’re being a real idiot. You’re going to throw her away over this tiny thing? Do you realize how big of an asshole that makes you?”
Something painful clenched in my chest, but I couldn’t focus on it. Each time I blinked, I saw Naomi in my arms, unmoving. I wanted to scream and put my fists through a wall until the image disappeared.
I needed an outlet. Badly. I wasn’t going to find that here.
Besides, this really was for the best. Naomi was in better hands than mine. These hands had taken more lives than they had saved.
“Good riddance,” Lynn called to my back as I walked away from her. The insult meant nothing. It rolled off me like water. Of course, she would be on Naomi’s side. She only had half the story.
When I stepped through the sliding doors, I was greeted by the cold breeze and setting sun, along with a mouthful of acrid smoke. I waved a hand in front of my face, shooting a glare at the man leaning against the charcoal wall of the hospital. The cherry tip of Axle’s cigarette glowed, and he looked bored and annoyed at the same time.
I tried to mask my irritation. Tried and failed. “The hell are you doing here?”
He shrugged. “You know how it is. Small town. News travels fast whether you want it to or not. How’s your girl?”
“Since when do you give a shit?” I wondered, not wanting to acknowledge how the end of his statement might no longer be true.
He blew another cloud of smoke my way, eyes hooded and angrier than I’d ever seen them. “Since you stopped acting like a fucking goody two shoes errand boy and started giving a shit about what happens in your life. I’m not exactly a genius, but she was the only thing that changed in the equation.”
“We’re not doing this. I don’t want to talk about her right now.”
Again, he shrugged, the emotion he had shown vanishing behind the disdainful mask. “No skin off my dick. Misery loves company and all that bullshit. Maybe you won’t be so goddamn insufferable for a while.”
I glanced across the parking lot, needing to be out of here. Driving Naomi’s car wasn’t an option for so many reasons. Possibly the first among them being that it smelled like her. I couldn’t deal.
“Where’s your bike?” I asked.
Axle didn’t answer because he was an expert at being little shit.
He reached into his pocket and the engine of his Hummer roared to life, loud and insistent. His second vehicle was as obnoxious as the man it belonged to. Big rims. Lifted. Aftermarket exhaust. The thing looked more like a tank than anything else, but at least he had splurged on making it bulletproof.
That would save us some time.
I strode towards it and threw myself in the passenger seat, knowing he would follow while cursing me. Axle hopped in the driver’s side, sealing us in with his smoke and bad attitude. I managed to drop a tiny bit of tension in the parking lot as we peeled out on two wheels.
This...this was familiar territory.
Axle glanced at me as he drove, one hand on the wheel. “What are we getting into?”
“Do we know where Palazzo and his men are right now?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” My blood boiled inside my veins. “I think it’s time we get a little more hands-on with this situation.”
He flashed his teeth, chuckling to himself. “About fucking time. I’ve been looking forward to burning their shit to the ground.”
My answering smile matched his. Yeah. This was right. I’d gotten away with being the peacemaker for too long. It was time to go back to my roots. And at the base of the tree that made me who I was, a monster lurked.
It didn’t hunger. Not in the same way the rest of the Sinners’ demons behaved. But it did believe in protecting its territory.
I grabbed my phone, shooting off quick texts. “Swing by the clubhouse first. We’ll pick up some of the others and see if we can’t bend the rules a bit.”
Asher and his men had officially overstayed their welcome.
It was time to show them the exit.
***
I wasn’t surprised to find Gio waiting on us to arrive inside the swanky hotel the syndicate was staying in. The dark-haired prick Axle had run off weeks ago seemed like the skulking, charming, psychotic type.
If I had to put money on who was responsible for the fire out at the mill, and the ransacking of Rain’s garage, it would be this asshole. Too bad no one was willing to take the bet on account of me being right too often.
Axle, Mace, Slayer, and I walked into the lobby side by side. A coordinated machine of menace, leather, and muscle. People that weren’t from around here stopped and stared, and some even brought out their cell phones.
It was amazing how stupid most tourists were. They thought being from somewhere else meant they could come to Oakdale and watch the bikers strut around like it was a petting zoo.
They didn’t know how bad our bite really was. And if they were lucky, they never would. But their safety was my problem, so I pulled Slayer to a stop while Axle and Mace continued towards Gio.
“Whatever you need to do,” I told him. “Clear this area. If shit goes belly up, I don’t want to see bullet holes in any innocents, you feel me?”
He dragged a hand over his dark, buzz-cut hair and rolled his eyes. “Who cares? They catch a bullet for being nosey, it’s their own damn fault.” My grip on his arm tightened and his lips curled. “What the fuck, Tone?”
“Go ahead. Say something like that again and see what happens. Before long, Creed is going to put my ass right back where I was. But for now? The authority is mine. I don’t believe in collateral.” I glared at him, waiting to see what his temper would make him do. When he jerked away from me, he looked mad, but not enough to fly off the handle. “Is that gonna be a problem?”
“No,” he muttered.
“Excuse me?”
“No, sir.”
I grabbed him by the neck, letting the heat leave my voice when he stared up at me. “I brought you because you think quick on your feet, and you’ve got a good eye. You want to be more than a Prospect? Show respect and receive it in turn.”
This time, he waited for me to let go. When I did, he stepped back with a firm nod of apology. I watched him slip away towards the front desk for a moment, grateful that he wasn’t completely hardheaded.
I would hate to have to kick his ass to teach him a lesson, but I would. He hadn’t signed up for the math club, and this damn sure wasn’t a democracy. He would do well to remember that before he mouthed off to a core member.
Maybe I would show him some pictures of what happened to the last wiseass who took a crack at Sylvia’s orders. The guy was more stitches than skin after she got done with him.
Just because I knew it would push Gio’s buttons, I walked right past him and Axle antagonizing each other. Headed straight for the restaurant tucked away at the rear of the hotel. It was late enough for them to be closed, but I wasn't surprised to find it open. I also wasn’t surprised to find Asher eating at a table by himself while the other three stooges sat together at another.
I heard Gio yelling for me as I approached, and I only flashed a quick smile, keeping my hands well in view. I wanted to find out what they wanted so I could get rid of them, not get gunned down because they thought I was here to play assassin.
Despite my own frustrations, I was very aware that these were hard men. Practiced. Well-trained. Aside from Asher, who swirled a tumbler filled with amber liquid, the other three were still as statues, watching me closely. Their gazes swept me up and down before going over my shoulder, and I knew Axle and Mace were right on my heels with Gio behind them. I stopped right in front of Asher’s table.
He was in another rich suit, looking for all the world like a cultured politician instead of a prince of the criminal underworld. The man even had a linen napkin carefully spread across his lap. He offered me that same fake sm
ile from weeks ago. The one that left his eyes looking like those of a shark.
Then he snapped his fingers. “Gio, if you would.”
I raised a brow as the other man came up to my side and pulled out a seat. He stared at me as if he could incinerate me where I stood, gripping the chair so tightly his knuckles paled. But he did it all the same.
I let out a low whistle, fucking with him. “How many tries did it take you to learn that trick? Wait, don’t tell me. I’m more curious about what kind of treats he rewards you with.”
He didn’t answer, and his expression didn’t change. But his eyes...they continued to burn.
Flashing another of my patented smiles, I slid into the seat and faced the man across from me while the other two Sinners did their thing. Mace stayed standing, looking ready for anything. Axle sat at my side and kicked his feet up, leaving mud on the white cloth.
“To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?” Asher asked, voice practiced. I somehow found a way to hate him more than I already did. “Although I certainly appreciate the company, your friends seem to be lacking table manners.”
I raised a shoulder and let it drop. “Tough titty.”
“Ah, the famous biker eloquence. I was wondering if I had missed out on an opportunity to see it in action.”
Axle couldn’t help himself. “Fuck off with that pretentious bullshit,” he spat, flipping two middle fingers. “We know you’re the one who keeps causing problems around town. How about we skip the song and dance. You tell us what you want. I’ll tell you to fuck off and die. Rinse and repeat until you either leave or...you know. Die.”
Asher graced me with a slow blink, unfazed. This wasn’t wholly unexpected, but it still annoyed me. He had all the cards, and he was playing them close to his chest.
We sat in tense silence that was only broken by a nervous waitress. The older woman was trembling so badly, she almost dropped the steak she was carrying. After a few failed attempts, she managed to set it down in front of Asher.
Tempted by a Sinner (Seven Sinners Book 4) Page 25