by Violet Blake
His lips drew into a hard, white line. “I hope so.”
He put the tray between us on the bed, and I found a huge plate of food, two cups of coffee, and—
“No,” I whispered, unable to say much more because I was about to hyperventilate. This couldn’t be. It just couldn’t. Frozen in place, I fought to form a coherent thought. But no matter how much I tried to deny it, that stupid card stared up at me, taunting me for not hiding it.
My bucket list. He’d found it.
No, no, no.
“You’re not going to pass out on me, are you?” he asked, his amusement mocking me with every syllable.
Deep breaths. This ranked as meteoric when it came to levels of catastrophe. “It’s—I can—This isn’t—”
He laughed. “Relax. This is probably the best to-do list I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Where did you get it?”
“While you were distracted getting dressed yesterday morning, I found not only your painting, but this.”
“And you didn’t say anything yesterday?” I’d kill him.
He shrugged. “I had to test the market first. See if I might have an in.”
How could he be so calm about this? I thought I was about to die.
He handed me a strip of way over-cooked bacon. “Eat. You’ll need your energy.”
I tore my attention away from the ashiness of it, and in my stupor took a bite. “What?”
“I figure we can knock out three or four of these before lunch if you clean your plate.”
I about choked on my bacon. “You’re totally enjoying my humiliation.”
“Very much so.” He drank from my coffee cup, his eyes gleaming. “I can’t wait to hear all about this.”
I focused on eating my burnt breakfast. With any luck I’d choke on my toast and die.
But like all good things, breakfast wasn’t an activity I could do infinitely, and soon an empty plate stared up at me, and I’m pretty sure it was snickering. Sawyer nudged the list onto the plate and cleared his throat. He laid on his side, head propped up on one hand. Damn him for wearing a sexy brown T-shirt that molded against his pecs like melting chocolate, and black boxer briefs that showed off…everything.
I swallowed, took a deep breath, and sucked it up. If I wanted to leave Old Blair behind, I’d definitely have to get this stick out of my ass. Prim, Proper Blair would have to let her hair down, unbutton her top a little, and have some fun. Who better to have some fun with than Sawyer?
But this was Sawyer. I couldn’t have crazy sex with him and expect things to reset. Things would never be the same. I wouldn’t be the same.
My horny voice of reason reminded me that he would be the safest person in the world to do this with, though. And what did I have to lose? I’d already come up with a list of guidelines last night, just in case my fantasy of doing the list with him came true. This was written in the stars, right?
“Hey,” he said. “Where are you?”
“Okay.” I swallowed again. Did this really have to be so hard?
“Okay…”
“Your cousins decided I had to get out of this…this…rut I’ve been in.”
“You call it a rut, sweetheart?” His brows drew in, and the fun, sinfulness of a few moments ago disappeared, giving way to genuine concern. “You have been in a coma since you moved back, walking around like a zombie.”
Closing my eyes, I nodded. “Right. So the whole thing sucks, and it’s complicated, and I’ve been coming to the conclusion that I have two choices. One is to continue like that and eventually collect sixty-five cats to live with in my apartment.”
“What do you have against cats?” he asked.
“I love cats.”
“Now that that’s settled, what’s the second choice?” he asked.
“Move on. Live differently, for myself instead of for everybody else.”
He held up the list between his pointer and middle fingers. “And how does this factor into everything?”
“Long story.” I made a grab for the paper. He was too fast, though, and I grasped at the air.
He lounged on his side, fanning his face with the card. “I have time.”
“Not today.” Not ever was more like it. I didn’t want to tell him all the dirty details of why I moved back to Colorado.
“So this list is about moving on or something, I assume?” He held it up, just out of my reach.
I made a pass for it. “Something like that.”
“It goes without question I’ll be your partner for this.”
Was he shitting me? One glimpse at his serious stare confirmed he wasn’t. Had I been sitting across the table from him in the boardroom, I would’ve given him anything he wanted when he reeked of such determination. I’d sign over my company, my trust, everything he demanded. Without question.
I arched a brow, going for a nonplussed expression, when inside even my nonexistent appendix was doing the wave. “It does?”
He nodded. “I don’t want you to have to settle for second best. And I happen to hear I’m not disappointing in this department.”
Shit. Play it cool. I swallowed and gave a noncommittal shrug, even though my insides vibrated so hard that in seconds I’d melt into primordial goo. “I haven’t seen enough of your alleged skills, and this is an awfully big commitment.”
His eyes narrowed. “Are you seriously asking for what…like a sample?”
“You could say that.” For his benefit more than mine. He would’ve had me at the thumb stroking yesterday. Ethan had been pretty brutal when we broke up. And by brutal, he chopped my heart into little pieces, grilled them up, and fed them to dragons…then killed the dragons. If you want to talk about zero votes of confidence in one’s self, I was the reigning champion.
“And if my services are deemed satisfactory?” he asked.
Great question. Good thing I’d come prepared. “We should set some guidelines.”
His brow rose. “Guidelines? You mean a safe word?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “You did not just say that.”
He laughed. “I take it that’s not what you meant.”
Recovering from the mention of a safe word—and a quick side trip thinking of what activities we could do that would involve one—I shook my head and started with the list I’d come up with while falling asleep last night. “If we do this list together, things are going to change. A lot. I don’t want to lose our friendship, so if you think this is going to have a negative impact, you need to just hand me that list and…and…”
“And you’ll find somebody else to do it with? Not an option.” His free hand took mine and his thumb stroked the curve of my palm.
A tidal wave of hormones ravaged my insides. If he kept that up I’d be making babies with him in an hour or less.
“You know what I mean,” I said. “Our friendship means a lot to me. If there is any chance of us not having a friendship later, I don’t want to do it.”
His shoulders relaxed. “Understood and agreed. So we need to decide how to make that happen.”
“Which is why I think we need to have an expiration date for the list part of our relationship.” I explained the parameters of the bet, and the deadline. Although he listened quietly, the wheels were turning. That much I could see plainly, even though he didn’t say a word. “Since I have until the end of the month to make all this happen, I think that’s when our arrangement should end, too.”
“Why only a month?”
“Because that’s the time I was given. And we can only do the stuff on the list—no extras. I don’t want to fall into real relationship territory.”
“Just the things on the list, huh? So no foreplay that doesn’t lead to sex?”
“You would do that?” Why would a guy do that if they didn’t get something out of it?
He shrugged. “It’s fun. Plus, it’ll make the list sex better.”
“Fine. In the interest of making the list sex better, we can partake in some limited foreplay ac
tivities.”
“Excellent. And a real relationship is out of the question, why?”
“Because I just broke off my engagement, moved across the country, barely have a penny to my name, and…” I shrugged. Of course I wanted a real relationship with him. Right now, though? “It’s just a bad time.”
Wheels seemed to spin a centrifugal force now. “If that’s what you want.”
“You agree?” Too easy. Sawyer was a known hardass.
He nodded. “With a few stipulations. One, exclusivity.”
“Done.”
“Two, I want to make this less one-sided.”
“One-sided?”
“You’re the one who gets all the benefit out of this. I’m just your sex toy.”
I choked a little. “You’re not going to enjoy it? At all?”
He shrugged, but I couldn’t help but notice the way his dimples deepened. “The life of a pleasure slave is hard, but I’ll get by somehow.”
I swatted his shoulder.
“That magazine couldn’t have come out at a worse time. The last thing I want is a relationship, either. So you’ll be my pretend girlfriend until the excitement dies.”
“Not to say I told you so, but didn’t I tell you a fake girlfriend would come in handy?”
“I never said I didn’t agree,” he said.
“But that’s only a month’s reprieve,” I reminded him. “What’s your Plan B for when this ends?”
He averted his eyes and busied himself with picking at the sheets. “After you win your bet, we’ll reevaluate. Besides, you might be too addicted to me to let me go.”
I snorted. “You have a lot to live up to. I hope you don’t let me down.”
His eyes met mine again, and they smoldered. “Guess you’ll have to wait and see.”
I had no doubts he’d live up to his own standards and more. It was me I worried about.
He lifted up the tray and put it on the bedside table behind him. He stretched his arm toward me and crooked his finger. “Come here.”
I moved across the bed until I was chest to chest with him, and he wrapped his arm around me and snuggled close. He was so warm, and I’d never felt so… I shook my head. So much for keeping a friendly distance.
“What now?” I asked.
“It sounds like we have a deal,” he said. “Now we move onto the sampling of my services, and go from there.”
Chapter Six
Expectation made my heart take flight. That damn list.
Sawyer played right into that, and shifted so he laid on his back and I straddled his pelvis. This was not what I expected this morning.
Clearing his throat, he pulled the list out with a snap. “Hmmm… Where to start? I don’t have a lot of these things, and we’d have to get out of bed to do some of them.”
Heat. Heat everywhere. I was going to internally combust. I took it from him and pretended to give the list my utmost attention.
Blair’s Sex Bucket List
Foreplay, sex, and afterglow fun with a variety of aphrodisiacal food.
Send the object of your affection a sexy selfie, showing off all your lady bits have to offer.
Who says you have to be a kid to enjoy toys? Hand over your vibrator and let your man take charge.
Poker isn’t just for the tables in Vegas. A game of strip poker is always a win-win situation.
Surprise your guy at work. Get on your knees, unzip his pants, and show him who’s boss with a NSFW blow job.
Seven minutes in Heaven? Why bother? Get busy with seven times in Heaven, all in one day.
Bend over and show him the back door. Yours, that is. Anal sex is a hot, thrilling way to explore new heights of eroticism!
Parties are fun, but why not take it further with your own private party? Sneak off with your man for some sizzling closet sex.
Grab a few of his stodgy neckties and take control. Bind his wrists and ankles to the furniture and have your wicked way with him.
Now that you’ve called all the shots, it’s time for him to take charge! Let your lover indulge in his choice of sinful activities.
The heat in my body, especially between my legs, kicked up several notches. Processing words at this point was impossible, especially with my awareness of his growing erection. But would I move? Not a chance.
He sat up and took the list, not bothering to hide his amusement. Ass. “Let’s see. Anal sex. Have you even done that yet?”
My entire body already a smoldering pile of soot, I shook my head.
The corner of his mouth tilted up most wickedly. “Excellent. But not the best place to start. And…” He peeked up at me, the most impish grin known to womankind playing on his lips. “Unfortunately, I don’t have a vibrator. You don’t have one in your purse, do you?”
“I don’t even have a purse anymore, let alone a vibrator to put in it.”
The muscle between his brows twitched, and he went back to the list, tapping each one with his finger. His breath hitched. “Tie him up.” The slightest shake in his hand preceded his next question. “I don’t suppose some of these are negotiable, are they?”
I held up my hand in a mock pledging gesture. “I’m on my honor. What, don’t you like women to be in charge?”
Of course I knew better. He was definitely alpha, but he wasn’t a chauvinist.
“We’ll come to that later,” he finally said, but worry blanketed him. “Sunday mornings aren’t exactly prime party sex time, and I don’t think I have a deck of cards to play strip poker with.”
“Who doesn’t have playing cards?” Confession: I didn’t. Whatever. All men had stuff like that in their personal man arsenals, though.
“When your best friend has a gambling problem, you don’t keep that kind of thing around.”
“Ben has a gambling problem?” So very, very interesting.
“Moving on,” he said. “It’s not exactly practical to have phone sex when you’re in the same house with me.”
Phone sex. Ugh. I could barely say the word penis without blushing. Can you say repressed?
I remembered number seven. “We could have sex seven times today.”
His eyes locked with mine. “When’s the last time you had sex seven times in one day?”
“Um, never?” I wanted to hide under the bed. Yeah, he was attacking the list with logic. But I still felt like a loser. I shifted a little, which only brought my attention to his ridiculously sexy body. God, you hussy. This is a serious conversation. “Isn’t that, you know, the point of all this?”
“We need to go shopping for some things before we even think about it. You will thank me.” His free hand caressed my thigh, drawing light, fluttering swirls over my skin. “Food sex is out—Skittles aren’t too conducive to foreplay.”
“Please, Callahan. You and Skittles have the whole foreplay thing down. Isn’t that how you got on top of me last night?”
He chuckled. “Is that how that happened?”
I threw a pillow at him, which he deftly evaded with a casual hand before going back to his reading. “And I sure as hell don’t feel like going in to work right now—even if it is for a blowjob.”
Oh right. The blowjob at the office. That should be…interesting. “Not even for that? I’m surprised we aren’t already in the car.”
“Baby steps, grasshopper.” He held the list up. “Last one is my choice. I’d rather save that for last, after we’ve tried a little of everything.”
“Fair enough,” I said, disappointment sinking in.
“Don’t look so sad.” He sat up and pressed his lips to my forehead. “What if we get the regular, vanilla, getting-to-know-you activities out of the way first? It’ll be like our basic training.”
Before I could remind him we’d established rules, he tipped my chin up and kissed me. It wasn’t a polite kiss at all. It was possessive, hot, and holy hell, I almost came right then. His hands seemed to be everywhere, but not enough for what I craved. I needed him all over me, and more impor
tantly, inside me.
Caught up in the moment, I pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. My hands wanted to be everywhere. I savored the feel of his skin and his muscles, especially how they strained and contracted under my hands.
He took off my shirt, leaving me in my underwear. His hands circled my waist and he pulled me up to my knees, so that my breasts were eye level to his mouth. He teased my nipples mercilessly with his teeth and hands, and all I could do was hang on.
Sawyer was definitely a breast man. Yes.
He sucked on one nipple, his tongue flicking the sensitive flesh of my areola and the underside of my breast. He tugged on my nipple until it popped out of his lips, bright pink and wet. Panting, he traced the circle with his fingertip, and it tautened more. “One day I’m going to make you come just doing that.”
“Promise?” I asked, completely breathless.
He pushed me to my back and sat between my legs. His hands took my knees, pried them apart, and moved down my inner thighs until his thumbs reached my panties. “Lift your hips.”
I did, and he slid my underwear off. Normally I was on the shy side, preferring sex in the dark and under the covers. The drapes were open but the blinds were closed, leaving just enough light in the room that we could see everything.
His color deepened and he let out a low whistle. “Look at you.”
Call me impractical, but I’d never let my monthly Brazilian waxes lapse. I’d rather go without a few lunches over the course of the month. Ethan had hated it when I’d given it a whirl last year, which was probably why I found them so important now. I loved the sensation of being touched on just bare skin. I’d stupidly thought he would, too. So now, when Sawyer gave his full attention to my nakedness down there, all sorts of yummy feelings arose.
Especially because of the way Sawyer responded. His tongue ran across his bottom lip, his eyes burned a bright indigo. I couldn’t help but notice how his cock pressed against his boxers, and I wanted so badly to hold it in my hand.
I guessed the whole Brazilian thing was okay with him.
I snapped my fingers. “Less ogling, more taking off clothes.”
Chuckling, he bent over me and licked the skin below my belly button while he shucked his pants. He kissed the flesh all over my belly, licking, kissing, and nibbling until I spread my legs and let them fall to the sides. I was helpless at that point, unable to do anything but lay back and languish in the exhilaration. He paid attention to every part of me that wasn’t my sex, and I moaned and writhed and anticipated the moment when he would lick me right. There.