by Violet Blake
He nodded to the seat across from him. I settled into the nylon-padded bench and put my purse next to me. “You wouldn’t believe the gondolas in Switzerland. I skied in the Alps once, and it’s insane how high they go. And with so many people in them,” I rambled, unable to dam some of the nervous energy that turned my polite conversation into outright verbal diarrhea. “This one time we got stuck and we were at least three hundred feet—”
Horror. Absolute horror etched his face into somebody unrecognizable to me.
I shut my eyes, wishing I could hit a magic rewind button on the last ten seconds. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have—I know you’re nervous, and it’s making me nervous, and if you would just say something—anything—and make me stop talking like a fucking idiot here, I’d be super appreciative.”
The corner of his mouth lifted and he reached across the car and took my hand. “Come here.”
I practically leapt into his lap.
He folded me into his arms and pressed his lips against the crook of my neck. “Something happened a long time ago that makes tight places like this a lot tighter. It’s not your fault, and I’m sorry I’m being a douche.”
I melted into him and inhaled the clean aroma of his hair. He’d promised to tell me about his nightmares this weekend. “I know…I know things are uncertain right now, but I still want to know everything. Will you tell me later tonight?”
Every muscle in his body clenched.
“You don’t have to,” I quickly amended. “But if you want to, I want to know. I want to be here for you like you always are for me.”
One by one his muscles relaxed, and his fingertips moved to my knee. He seemed to consider what I’d said, and I knew very soon I’d have to tell him in clearer words how I felt. That I wanted more than the sex, the platonic friendship. I’d do whatever it took to figure out this sort-of-long-distance thing. Because one thing was absolutely clear: I’d die before I lost him.
“We’ll have to get off in a minute and take the chair lift up to the top,” he explained.
I took the hint and sat next to him, holding his hand on my lap. When the gondola neared the station Sawyer’s tension subsided even more, and he and I hopped off the tram.
He pointed to a chair lift fifty feet away. “That’s our ride.”
I held my hand up like a visor over my eyes and squinted in the direction he’d indicated. The chair lift seated four, and ran fast. I followed the line up to the top. “That’s way above treeline.”
He took my hand and we walked toward the lift. “We own the restaurant up there with some friends. When we have parties or whatever, especially when we know it’s one where people will be drinking, we like to do them here. Then nobody has to drive.”
A girl about my age with crimped blond hair and pink wayfarers waited at the lift station. “You guys ready to ride?”
I nodded.
“Be sure to look to your left, and when the chair slows down take a seat,” she said to me.
Sawyer and I stood at the line where the chair would pick us up, turned, and waited for it to come. A minute later we were on our way to the top. He put his arm around me and I snuggled into him.
This was just a seat that fit four people, and it moved super fast up to the top of the mountain, which was at 11,000 feet.
Sawyer relaxed quite a bit now.
“Do you ski a lot?” I asked.
“Used to go all the time, but now I don’t have much time.”
“The mountains on the East Coast are nothing like this,” I said.
“We should go this winter.”
The future. It was so happening. I couldn’t possibly repress the forming grin. “Definitely.”
The party was rocking by the time we arrived. Although it was July, the height of the mountains made the sun seem to set sooner, and the last splinters of light had begun to disappear behind the jagged peaks.
Sawyer still didn’t let go of my hand, but he’d let go of some of the anxiety, and carried conversation easily with everybody. Jessica joined us, and while Sawyer and his employees talked about the new beers for the fall season, she and I covered more serious topics.
“You know, don’t you?” she asked.
As if I had to ask what that meant. Biting my lip, I nodded.
“And?”
I glanced at Sawyer, who was so caught up in conversation a few feet away he had no clue I existed. I turned back to Jess and whispered, “I’m going for it. I don’t know how we’re going to work out logistics, but we won’t know unless we try, right?”
“And he’s told you the rest?”
My heart thundered. “The rest?”
She groaned and shot him the dirtiest of looks. “He promised he’d have a talk with you about…things.”
“Jess, you’d better fill me in. I don’t think I can take any more surprises this weekend.” Please don’t let it be too bad.
She shook her head, her lips tight. “I can’t tell you. He has to. But don’t worry about it, okay? He just needs to tell you something that happened to him when he was younger. It’ll put a lot into perspective.”
Relief crashed through me like a flash flood. That I could deal with. “Okay. Thanks.”
“Good luck.”
“Speaking of luck, I have a bet to win. And if I remember right, part of that bet involves a party,” I said. “Where’s a good place to disappear?”
“Hussy,” she said, giving me a playful smack on my bicep. “Let me think. Oh. There’s a break room downstairs. Go through the kitchen, find the staircase all the way in the back, and go to do the door all the way to the left.”
“You’re the best,” I said.
“I know.” She tapped Sawyer’s arm, and when he broke from his conversation she said, “I’m stealing Blair for a minute. We need a drink.”
He let go of my hand. “Do you mind bringing me one?”
“One Kölsch, coming up,” I said, and followed Jess through the crowd to the open bar in the far corner. We talked to a few people who waited in line with us, and she introduced me as Sawyer’s girlfriend.
I could get used to this.
I brought Sawyer his beer and he took it, drinking it quickly. He’d never been much of a drinker, just having one or two in a night, but never drinking fast. I sipped from mine, knowing it would take a grand total of one to get me wasted at this altitude. Falling asleep in the middle of my boyfriend’s party? Totally not an option.
One of the men next to Sawyer pointed at me, the clear expression of recognition brightening his eyes. “Now I know where I’ve seen you. You’re Senator Bartlett’s daughter, right?”
I nodded and held out my hand to shake. Most of the time nobody knew who I was. Not unless they were big on politics—you’d be surprised what people like to learn about politicians’ families. “Blair, nice to meet you.”
“David Patzer. I’m the manager at the Summit location.” The handshake he gave me could’ve turned the bones in my hand to diamonds.
Sawyer put his hand on my shoulder. “Anyone need another beer?”
Somebody called out an order and he headed off to the bar.
I shook my hand free from David’s grasp, silently willing him not to talk about my mom.
“So what’s it like, being in a family like yours? Kind of crazy, I bet.”
“That’s one way of putting it. How long have you worked at the brewery?” I asked.
“Ten years. Started as a bus boy in Denver twenty years ago, worked my way up to manager in Summit two years ago.” He puffed up a little—I would, too—but the cockiness turned to menace. “So…I hear your mother’s about to spearhead a landmark bill on the death penalty.”
My teeth gritted, and I tried to keep up my friendly facade. “Honestly, I don’t get too involved in politics. I wouldn’t know.”
His eyes bugged out. “Seriously? Your mom is one of the most powerful people in the United States, and you don’t get at all involved?”
I shook my head and searched around for Sawyer. “I vote, but politics are really uninteresting to me. Sorry.”
“What’s the deal with the so-called rift between you two?” David pressed on.
None of your business? But I couldn’t say that. Not only because of the agreement with my parents, but because I didn’t want to hurt any relationship he had with Sawyer.
“There is no rift.” I gave him a smile that would give him a sunburn it was so bright. “In fact, I just talked to her last week, and she asked me to join her during her campaign. Are you from around here?”
Where the hell was Sawyer?
David, apparently unaware of my discomfort and obvious attempts to steer the conversation elsewhere, stepped in front of my line of vision. “The last thing we need in the White House is another person supporting—”
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. “It’s been great meeting you. I’m going to see if I can find some water.”
I didn’t wait for him to argue. I pivoted and headed straight for the cooler that held bottles of water, hoping he didn’t follow me to discuss the downfalls of capital punishment.
My beer was half empty, and I didn’t have the constitution to have any more of it. I set it in the recycle bin and grabbed a water, then headed over to the huge deck that overlooked the resort.
I found a quiet corner where I could sit for a few minutes and talk myself out of my irritation. People always wanted to argue politics, and back me into a corner somehow. They especially loved gossiping about it later, and Breanna had been put in a position in college where they’d recorded her making idiot comments after a few too many Jell-O shots. To say Mom went a bit apoplectic was putting it lightly. But it happens. Which is why I found the best policy to discussing policy was to spin, evade, repeat.
Dusk turned the sky and mountains a soft, blue-gray color, making the lights in the town below illuminate orange and red. I sipped my water, my irritation fading with the setting sun.
“Lonely out here?” Sawyer asked, and pulled out a chair beside me.
“Just needed to take a breather. You disappeared on me.”
He held up his beer glass, and I couldn’t help but notice the slight glaze on his eyes. “I ran out of beer. Are you having a good time?”
“Yeah. Everybody’s great. The food is great. Everything’s…”
“Great?” he finished.
“Exactly.”
“You know what would make it better than great?” he asked.
“What’s that?”
“Getting you one step closer to winning the bet.”
“I like where you’re going with this,” I said, and put my hand on his knee. Damn David for sidetracking me. “Any ideas? I have three left…”
“All right. Let’s go downstairs and celebrate America’s independence our own way,” he said.
“I think we have a winner,” I said. “I’ve heard of a place we could run off to.”
“Is that what David was telling you?” he asked.
“Ha ha. Get up.”
We stood and followed the route Jessica had given me. Downstairs was an employee break room, with a big window that overlooked the slopes, and a great view. By now the sky was dark, which meant the fireworks would start soon. I shut the door and propped a chair against the knob.
Sawyer was already unbuttoning his shirt, and I walked up to help him.
“Let me,” I said.
I undid the first button and pressed my lips to the skin I’d just revealed. I moved to the next button and did the same, over and over until the shirt was done. Our lovemaking was slow, sweet, and we made it last. After, we watched the fireworks in private, and the sounds of cheers and applause above was our only indications we weren’t the only two people in the world.
Chapter Twenty-One
The party broke up not long after the fireworks, and we made our way back to the lodge. The gondola ride, although tense, wasn’t as bad as the way up. I think Sawyer’s self-medication at the party had helped a little.
It didn’t take long for us to shed our clothes, draw the drapes, and get onto the bet-winning festivities.
We laid on the bed next to each other. Sawyer held my face between his hands, and even through the haze of slightly too much beer, he seemed so earnest. “Something is on your mind.”
I closed my eyes and took a breath. “I hadn’t planned to say this now, when you’re stuck on the top of a mountain with me.”
He chuckled. “Well, now that you’ve got me cornered, might as well say it.”
I pressed my forehead into the warmth of his neck, inhaling his scent and savoring the moment. “I want this to last. I…I don’t know what the future holds, but whether you’re here or in Fort Collins, I want to be with you. I-I’m really falling for you.”
Okay, so that last part? That hadn’t been planned.
His smile heated me from the inside out. “That’s what I was hoping to hear.”
Fuck yeah. Maybe this feelings stuff wasn’t so bad. “So I guess we should get on with the list?”
I prodded lightly, not wanting to make it a huge deal. This wasn’t about the bet anymore for me. Free drinks and naked paintings aside, well, none of that mattered. Not as much as having him did.
The heat he’d emanated seconds ago iced over. With a stiff motion he nodded, and I got out of bed and walked over to my suitcase. I’d brought a few of the toys I’d gotten for my non-bachelorette party just in case. But it was the other set of playthings that I grabbed. The bonds were made of a soft, padded material, and worked with Velcro. They’d be easy to break out of, but held just tightly enough to give the thrill of bondage. Or at least that’s what the package had promised. I don’t think either of us felt the least bit thrilled.
I walked to the bed, bonds in hand, and set them on the bed next to Sawyer. “How do you want to do this?”
The light in his eyes had dimmed. He watched me warily, then scooted to the middle of the bed and laid on his back, spread-eagle. I climbed on top of him, placing kisses all over him, working my way up to his face. Still, except for his chest rising with his breath, he surrendered to me, relinquishing his control, giving me his trust. I stopped at his nipple and flicked my tongue across it, then crawled upward and paid special attention to the spot behind his ear with my tongue and teeth.
With the most careful movements, I moved my hands to his shoulders. Inch by inch I moved up the length of his trembling biceps, to his elbows, then up his forearms until I reached his wrists. He hitched in a breath.
I hoisted my upper body up so I could look at him. “We don’t have to do this.”
“I have to do this.” His voice came out harsh. Tight. Determined.
“No, you don’t. It’s just a bet. All I’m getting out of it is free drinks for a month.” A paltry comparison to what ever it was that he would have to go through to get me there. I hated that he hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me why this part of the bet was so difficult.
He grabbed one of the bonds and put it in my hand. “And your naked painting will be on display for everybody.”
“I don’t care about that,” I said, confident that, as the words left my lips, I actually meant it.
“I care,” he said. “I don’t want other people looking at you, knowing what I do about you.”
“But what about you? I can tell you don’t want to do this. There’s something you’re keeping from me, and you’re hell-bent on making this happen for whatever reason, but I want you to know, right now, that I am okay facing the consequences. It’s not worth it to me.”
His head lifted from the pillow, and he eyed me with such disbelief that I jerked backward. He sat up, and I, still in his lap, knew I’d just hit a sensitive nerve.
“What exactly isn’t worth it to you, Blair?”
I pressed my palm against his chest, feeling his heart beat a rapid pulse against my skin. “I know that being tied up bothers you. Deny it if you want, but I know. I…”
&nbs
p; “You what?”
Shit. This was not how this was supposed to happen. And now I regretted what I’d done before leaving Friday with every drop of blood in my body. But I had to tell the truth. I let out a short, harsh breath and met his eyes. “I took the painting to your parents’ charity office. I forfeited the bet.”
I swear I heard his heart stop beating. Panic made mine work so hard I thought it’d tear a hole through my chest, Alien-style.
Strong hands wrapped around my biceps and, although he didn’t hide how upset he was, he carefully moved me to the side. He rose from the bed and turned to me, anger clearly rising. “You did what?”
My throat constricted. Crying was imminent. “I—”
“I know what you did. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t think I could do it.” His voice had turned a deadly tone of quiet, making my heart shatter into a million pieces.
I bit my lips together and wrapped my arms around my knees. “You didn’t want to do it. And it’s like you’re another person whenever I brought it up. You’re dark, and you retreat, and you’re just not you. I wanted…I wanted to protect you.”
His brows rose and an expression of pissed-off incredulity took over, replacing the Sawyer I’d known up to this point. “You wanted to protect me? How does treating me like a scared little kid protect me? That’s the most fucked up thing I’ve ever heard.”
I swallowed. This was so not what I’d expected. What an idiot I’d been, bringing this up now. Or at all. This had been a bet, one that had an iron-clad agreement against either of us getting hurt. I’d broken the rules, hadn’t trusted him, and now he could hardly even look at me.
“How come you can take care of me all the time, but I can’t take care of you?” I asked.
“You didn’t take care of me. You didn’t believe in me. There’s a huge difference.” His voice rose with every word, until he nearly yelled.
“I have to go.” Rising from the bed, I scanned the dimly lit room for my clothes.
I pulled on my underwear and glanced all over the room for my bra and dress. My shoes were near the loveseat, but no bra, no dress—geez, what the hell had we been doing? I held my arm over my breasts and walked behind the table.