Tension

by R. L. Griffin

  “I just can’t. It’s the only piece of my dad I have left. I can feel him in the bar every time I set foot in it. That bar is him. I can’t sell it.” A frown skittered across his lips.

  “Does it have anything to do with you paying your family’s bills?” Stella examined his eyes to determine whether he was telling her the whole truth. It was really her fault that she didn’t already know these details; she was so selfish when they first got together. Stella didn’t even bother with George’s last name. Or his real first name, for that matter. It would’ve been interesting if she’d bothered to ask.

  “Um, no.” Truth.

  “What do you mean?” Her eyes never left his.

  “So, my uncle died a year before my dad and left him everything, which also bears the burden to take care of my aunt and cousins. When my dad died, he left me everything because I’m the only male. Therefore, I have to take care of everyone.”

  Stella sighed. “What do you mean left you everything? Is ‘everything’ like, $200 or two million dollars?”

  “A little more than that.”

  Stella sat back against her seat, stunned. “More than $200?”

  Silence enveloped the SUV.

  “Damn, George, that’s a tough life.” Stella’s family was comfortable, but they were far from rich. Her dad was going to have to work until he was seventy to afford the lifestyle they lived.

  “Are you being sarcastic?” he asked, an edge in his voice.

  “A little.” When she saw George’s tense jaw, she backtracked. “No, I mean I guess it’d be fine to inherit a shitload of money, but I wouldn’t want to have to pay everyone’s bills.”

  George just looked straight ahead, clearly annoyed.

  “So during college, did you have many girlfriends?” Stella asked, changing the subject.

  “A couple,” he said, his face showing his increasing uneasiness.

  “Tell me about them.” She was feeling chatty and this was just uncomfortable enough that he could forgive her for the money conversation.

  “Good grief, El. Really?” George looked at her briefly before putting his eyes back on the road. “Do we have to get into this?”

  “Oh, yeah. I’m going to know every single thing about you by the time we get to the beach.” She laughed. “I’m your girlfriend now. I should know these things.”

  “Okay, fine. I dated Kelly for a couple of years. We broke up, no real drama. She was a good girl. Then I played around until a met a girl named Jessica who worked for a Senator on Capitol Hill. We dated for three years. She moved in with me, I proposed. She said no. That was that.”

  “That was that?”

  “I wanted to get married, she didn’t. So, that doesn’t work out, now does it?”

  “That’s it?” she asked.

  “We wanted different things, El. It was that simple. People that don’t want the same things don’t last.”

  Stella’s insides twisted. Was it that easy for him to just throw away three years? All because she didn’t want to get married?

  “Nothing’s that easy,” she said, looking out the window.

  “I didn’t say it was easy. She broke my heart. I didn’t have any other ‘girlfriends’ until you came along.”

  “But you dated.”

  He nodded.

  “Any kids?”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Seventeen, actually. How did you know?”

  “A girl’s got to ask...”

  “I do want kids, El.” George’s voice was quiet. “My sister, Kara, has a little girl. She’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. She has curly black hair with these blue eyes. She’s all love and giggles. It’s sort of intoxicating to be around.”

  Stella didn’t say anything.

  George stared at the road in front of them. “I mean, it’s not like I want kids right now...”

  The quiet was deafening.

  George sat in his office at Finnegan’s, going through his books to send to his accountant, but his thoughts kept shifting back to Stella. He kept picturing her naked in his bed when he left the house earlier today. He could definitely wake up to that every morning. He smiled as his phone rang. “Hey, Kara.”

  “Hey. What are you doing?”

  “Just trying to catch up with paperwork. El and I just got back from the beach, so there’s a lot of work to do.”

  “Well, that’s why I was calling. I was thinking with everything going on, you might be interested in hiring a manager at Finnegan’s. I know it’s a 24 hour job and you could use the help.”

  George frowned into the phone. “It’s always been a 24 hour job and you never thought I couldn’t handle it before.”

  “Will, I’m not saying you can’t handle it. With all the media attention it just seems like things are getting a little out of hand. You should hire someone to be at the bar all the time and you could just go in when you want.”

  “I don’t know…” he said. Actually, it didn’t seem like a bad idea.

  “Think about it, okay? We’re worried about you.”

  “Why are you worried about me?” George rubbed his hand over his face.

  “Well, it just seems you’re very wrapped up in Stella all of a sudden. We’re just…”

  “Don’t, Kara. I’m not wrapped up with her all of a sudden. I’ve been wrapped up in her since I met her. She just needs me right now and I’m going to be there for her.”

  “You have your work cut out for you, big brother,” Kara said softly.

  “I know,” he agreed.

  “How’s she doing?”

  “Okay, I guess.” George got up and shut the door to his office. “I don’t know, it just seems like something’s off with her. I mean, she’s herself most of the time, but I haven’t seen her smile since she woke up in Montana.” George sat back down and sighed. “She has this fake smile that’s so not her. I don’t know if I should go along with it or confront her. What should I do? You got any advice for your brother?”

  “It’s all so fresh, Will; she’s probably just trying to accept what’s happened to her. I would go along with it for a while and see how it goes. Give her space and room to heal, you know? I don’t know what I would do if I’d gotten shot and then woke up to see that everyone in America knows everything about me.”

  He sighed. “You’re probably right.”

  “I’m always right,” she said. “I love you, Will. Call me if you need to and hire a manager. I’m right about that, too.” George heard a commotion in the background. “Shit, I gotta go. Finn broke something.”

  Amazingly, George felt a little bit better.

  Stella was altogether unprepared for what awaited her outside the rehab hospital. It was one thing to see all the stories on the news, but she figured it would just go away. Instead, she had cameramen following her, staking out George’s house to get a glimpse of her. She had two cameramen that went everywhere she did: the gym, the grocery store, wherever. The last time she’d gone to the grocery store she’d bought the biggest case of tampons she could find and it was all over Twitter.

  #fbibeautysgotabigvagina

  The minute they pulled into the driveway, Millie texted her.

  you back?

  Stella responded.

  yes, why?

  Millie’s text was a few seconds later.

  trending on twitter

  Sighing, Stella pulled up her twitter account; she currently had over 1000 followers.

  @stellamurphy glad you’re back

  @stellamurphy where you been

  @stellamurphy how are you feeling

  @stellamurphy dump George and date me

  It was downright baffling and a little scary. Sticking her head in the sand obviously wasn’t working. Jesse had told her it would die down after a while, but he hadn’t defined that time frame. She hid out at George’s for a few days after they got back from the beach, but was getting stir crazy. She decided getting out would be just the thing.

  Walking in Finnegan’s for th
e first time after being in the hospital was a bit surreal. All of the regulars stood up and clapped for over three entire minutes. Stella really wasn’t sure how to handle the accolades she’d received since the shooting. Feeling every bit a coward, she couldn’t accept that she was sort of a hero. Yes, she worked for a government agency. Yes, she’d been shot. Yes, she’d almost been raped. No, she wasn’t a hero. She’d done nothing to save anyone or protect anyone else. It was simply a case of wrong place, wrong time. At least that’s what she kept telling herself.

  She smiled at everyone and then walked to the bar and sat in the seat closest to the wall. This way she could see someone coming before they approached.

  George walked over and set a Snakebite down in front of her. “It’s like old times, Love.”

  She nodded. Hope so. “Thanks, babe.”

  He winked at her and then walked back to the group of customers he’d been chatting with before she came in. Stella took the opportunity to take him in; his tanned skin paired with his dark hair and grey eyes made her want to take him to the little office in the back. His Washington Nationals T-shirt was thin and gave her a good view of his sinewy chest and biceps. Heat fired down her body as she remembered their first kiss. He’d been hungry for her, devoured her. George still looked at her like that, like he could eat her; but since the attack he’d been tentative, even cautious, like she would break at his touch.

  They’d left the beach two days before; the drive home long and mostly silent. George stressed about getting back to work and was on the phone handling issues with the bar most of the ride back. Stella was apprehensive about the uncertainty of when she could return to work. Leaving the beach meant they were leaving their private sanctuary; the drive was the first day of their “new normal.”

  Stella wasn’t planning to stay at the bar long; she was just meeting Millie for a few drinks. She hadn’t talked to Millie since she’d shut herself in the bathroom her first week at the rehab center. She’d apologized via text, but there was tenseness between them now that wasn’t been there before, courtesy of Patrick.

  Stella saw them both as they walked through the door. She shook her head, gave George a knowing glance, and then quickly walked out the back door of the bar. Millie brought Patrick with her. Traitor! When Patrick and Millie got together, Stella thought it’d be Millie on the outside when things didn’t work out, but it turned out she was on the outside. Stella was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She was legally bound not to tell anyone about Jamie, so she couldn’t explain her abrupt hatred toward Patrick. The identity of undercover agents was top secret information and she could be charged with treason and a slew of other crimes if she revealed information to Millie. She’d told George only because she was so traumatized the day she’d first seen Jamie. Her brain had stopped working the instant it registered that the undercover agent sitting across from her was Jamie, her supposed dead fiancé.

  Obviously, Patrick hadn’t told Millie anything about their falling out. Guys could get away with being obtuse about emotions and relationships, but not girls. Girls want to know every detail of any fight or emotion. Now she’d lost her two best friends and it was all Jamie’s fault.

  Stella loved George, but she missed Millie. She missed their easy companionship. She missed talking to a female besides her mom. She missed having someone around her that understood her so completely she didn’t have to explain her actions. They could talk about anything for hours and entertain each with the most mundane of topics. Millie could make her laugh when no one else could. Stella chuckled just thinking of Millie’s first skinny dipping experience a couple of years ago.

  She texted Millie.

  not feeling well. can’t make it

  Millie responded.

  ok let me know when you can do it

  As she was walking the few blocks to George’s house, the hair stood up on the back of her neck. Lately, it wasn’t uncommon for her to feel unsafe whenever she was alone, which wasn’t often. Something about almost dying does that to a person. She tried not to take it too seriously. Pulling out her phone, she texted George.

  not up for Patrick. Headed back to ur house

  He replied quickly.

  Our house love

  She replied.

  Love night

  The scent of clementines drifted past her nose and she shivered; her skin tingling like a million tiny pins stuck her at once. There were two houses between her and George’s house. She began to trot. Of course, the one time she wanted cameramen hanging outside of George’s house, there were none. Almost running up the stairs to the front door, she felt herself spiraling into a full on panic attack. She pushed the front door open and took a deep breath as the panic subsided. Suddenly, the smell of clementines surrounded her and she was shoved the rest of the way in the house. She fell, catching herself with both hands. Stella hung her head and closed her eyes. This cannot be happening.

  “Stella...” she heard from behind her. Fear traveled from her brain all through her body, like a live wire. Shaking her head, she turned over and sat with her knees drawn protectively to her chest, hiding her face between crossed arms.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay.” His voice was hoarse with emotion as he got down on his knees, gently pulling her face up so she was looking at him. “I swear; if I hadn’t shot you, he would’ve raped you, Stella. Don’t you remember us talking about that once? You said you’d rather die than be raped. I wasn’t trying to kill you of course; I just needed them to think you were dying. You’d rather die than be raped. Right?” Jamie rattled on without taking a breath. He attempted to hug her, but her knees blocked him and her entire body tensed.

  “Are you seriously trying to justify shooting me?” she choked out. Gasping for breath, Stella closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe Jamie was in George’s house.

  “Stella, I love you, why would I want to hurt you?” Jamie pleaded.

  At the strained sound in Stella’s voice, Cooper bounded down the stairs, his fur raised down the middle of his back and his teeth bared. Cooper had taken to sleeping in George’s bed, even when they weren’t there. He was barking as he rounded the corner into the foyer. As he attempted to stop on the hardwood floor he couldn’t gain any traction and slid, knocking Stella into Jamie. He was stunned for a second, then his tail wagged so hard his body bent from side to side. He dove at Jamie and licked him all over.

  “Cooper! I missed you too, boy.” Jamie rubbed him and Cooper nuzzled Jamie’s neck.

  “I can’t fucking believe this. You don’t want to hurt me? You don’t want to HURT me?” Her voice raised an octave. Her emotions were so extreme it was like she was seeing herself from above. Jamie was still on his knees in front of her, his torso pressing against her. She began using her feet to push herself away back from him; he grabbed her forearm with an iron grip. “You proposed to me, made me move to DC, faked your own death, and then shot me. I think you’re way beyond hurting me.”

  “That’s not how it happened. I mean, I guess it is, but I never really meant for any of this to happen.” Jamie examined his hands.

  “Oh, you didn’t mean for it to happen,” she said sarcastically. “Then all is forgiven, asshole.”

  “Stella. Come on. I love you.” Jamie rubbed her arm and she flinched away from him. “You know me.”

  Stella shook her head and started laughing hysterically. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  Jamie reached out to touch her face and pulled on a strand of her hair. “I love you, I do. It may not seem that way, but I do. All I’m asking for is a chance to explain, Stella. Come with me.”

  “You shot me and you’re a wanted man. I think I’ll pass,” she seethed through clenched teeth.

  “But, I need you to listen to me,” he implored. His eyes pleaded with her.

  She was completely baffled. Stella’s fear manifested itself with pinpricks along her skin, sweat collecting on her upper lip and dropping in between her breasts. “Oh well, since it’s wha
t you need, I’ll pack a bag,” she sassed, sarcasm masking her terror. “Get the fuck out of here before I call the FBI. You should know they have a detail on me because of all the publicity, so it won’t take long.”

  “Stella, I know you haven’t told anyone it was me.” Jamie reached out to touch her again.

  Her voice was soft but steely. “Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

  His hand froze in mid-air. Jamie knew her well enough to know that he’d lost any chance to reason with her. “I’ll never give up on you.” He stood up, leaned over to where she was still huddled on the floor, and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

  “The next time I see you, I’ll kill you,” she muttered as he closed the front door. Putting her head down, she cursed herself for being so weak. Stella let herself sob once. Her injuries made it impossible for her to fight back, but she would. Quiet filled the house and her thoughts unraveled. A tear fell down her cheek. I’ll be prepared for next time.

  Cooper sat next to her, his tail brushing the floor rhythmically for a few seconds before lying down with a resigned sigh. His person had come and gone.

  Chapter Seven

  Redeeming Qualities

  Pulling the covers over her head, she groaned at the pain in her head. After Jamie left, she’d drank an entire bottle of wine by herself in an attempt to chase away the demons. The hatred that began growing in her gut the second she’d woken up in the hospital now filled her. She didn’t have room inside her for anything else. She was fighting it, trying to save some part of her that felt something other than vengeance. George was her saving grace; her love for him was her only redeeming characteristic. And that was pretty sad, considering he was just her boyfriend, not a part of her personality. So, it was possible that maybe she didn’t have a positive quality right now.

  “Coop!” Stella called from the bed. His absence was strange because he usually stayed in the bed with her. George had left early this morning, she guessed to work out. Stretching her arms and legs as far and wide as they could go, she moaned in pleasure and pain. She assumed there would always be a little bit of pain in her life. It seemed fitting somehow.