When I wrote my first autobiography, All in a Lifetime, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to handle going over the very sad parts of my life by myself. I’d never really dealt with that period of my life, had never reread my diaries, and when my children asked me about it, I’d change the subject. But my publisher wasn’t going to accept such dodges. So I went to a psychoanalyst I knew and leaned on him to dig down into myself for the truth. As I told the New York Times, I was afraid of losing my joie de vivre if I spent too much time delving into my past, but with a psychoanalyst’s help, that didn’t happen.
That story didn’t appear in the New York Times by accident. Yes, Pierre pitched it to them, but only because I wanted that story told. I wanted my audience to know that I practiced what I preached, that when I was faced with a problem, I got professional help. And that’s what I’m urging you to do. It’s OK to say, “I can’t handle this,” but it’s not OK to then do nothing about the problem. If there is help, you should avail yourself of that help.
Whatever your age, you have no idea how much time you have left, and for that reason I strongly believe that you don’t have any time to waste. Even if you can’t control time, you can control the quality of your life during the time you have. You don’t want to come to a point in your life where you’re left with nothing but a stack of regrets. Joie de vivre isn’t just a phrase that you sprinkle on your life now and then. It’s an attitude that should permeate your every waking hour. It takes a little effort but let me assure you, the rewards are well worth it.
Q: Is the Dr. Ruth legend coming to an end?
Radio, TV, books, the Internet, and now a play have all helped me reach out to people in order to give them some guidance. I absolutely delight in being a celebrity, but my main goal of helping people to learn remains my top priority. It’s why at the age of eighty-six I keep teaching and going around the world giving lectures and coming out with new books. As far as I’m concerned, I’m still becoming Dr. Ruth.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
From Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer: To the memory of my entire family who perished during the Holocaust. To the memory of my late husband, Fred, who encouraged me in all my endeavors. To my current family: my daughter, Miriam Westheimer, EdD; son-in-law Joel Einleger, MBA;, their children, Ari and Leora; my son, Joel Westheimer, PhD; daughter-in-law Barabara Leckie, PhD; and their children, Michal and Benjamin. I have the best grandchildren in the entire world!
Thanks to all the many family members and friends for adding so much to my life. I’d need an entire chapter to list them all, but some must be mentioned here: Pierre Lehu and I have now collaborated on a dozen books; he’s the best minister of communications I could have asked for! Cliff Rubin, my assistant, thanks!; Dr. Peter Banks; Peter Berger, MD; Simon and Stefany Bergson; Nate Berkus; David Best, MD; Chuck Blazer; Frank Chervenak, MD; Richard Cohen, MD; Martin Englisher; Cynthia Fuchs Epstein, PhD; Howard Epstein; Meyer Glaser, PhD; David Goslin, PhD; Amos Grunebaum, MD; Dylan Hanson; Polly and Herman Hochberg; David Hryck, Esq.; Steve Kaplan, PhD; Rabbi Barry Dov Katz and Shoshi Katz; Bonnie Kaye; Patti Kenner; Robert Krasner, MD; Nathan Kravetz, PhD; Marga and Bill Kunreuther; Dean Stephen Lassonde; Matthew and Vivian Lazar; Rabbi and Mrs. William Lebeau; Robin and Rosemary Leckie; Hope Jensen Leichter, PhD, Jeff and Nancy Jane Loewy, John and Ginger Lollos, Sanford Lopater, PhD, and Susan Lopater; David Marwell; Marga Miller; Peter Niculescu; Dale Ordes; Frank and Jodi Osborn; Rabbi James and Elana Ponet, PhD; Leslie Rahl; Bob and Yvette Rose; Debra Jo Rupp; Carrie Russo; Larry and Camille Ruvo; Simeon and Rose Schreiber; Daniel Schwartz; Amir Shaviv; David Simon, MD; Jerome Singerman, PhD; Betsy Sledge; William Sledge, MD; Mark St. Germain; Henry and Sherri Stein; Jeff Tabak, Esq., and Marilyn Tabak; Malcolm Thomson; Shkurte Tonaj; Greg Willenborg, and Ilse and Max Wyler-Weil and to all the people at Amazon Publishing who worked so hard to bring this book into the world: Jeff Belle, Daphne Durham, Tara Parsons, Maggie Sivon, and the entire team, as well as Amazon’s founder and his wife, Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos, who helped me launch this endeavor.
From Pierre Lehu:
Thanks to my wife, Joanne Seminara, who not only provided her usual support but on this book added her legal expertise; my son, Peter, daughter-in-law, Melissa Sullivan, and fantastic grandson, Jude Sullivan Lehu; my daughter, Gabrielle, and my son-in-law, Jim Frawley; my in-laws, Joe and Anita Seminara and the entire Seminara clan.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer is a psychosexual therapist who sprang to national attention in the early 1980s with her live radio program, Sexually Speaking. She went on to have her own TV program, appeared on the covers of People and TV Guide, and is the author of thirty-seven books. Fans of all ages can find her at drruth.com, on Twitter (@AskDrRuth), and at YouTube.com/drruth. A one-woman show about her life, Dr. Ruth, All The Way, is currently touring. Dr. Ruth teaches at Columbia University’s Teachers College. She lives in New York City and has two children and four grandchildren.
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