Gerd nodded, eyes gleaming. “Exactly. I already have a theme that I would like to present—on ice!”
“Pardon me” interrupted Arthur, “but are you referring to those horrific granny-events where people in ludicrous costumes hop along the ice accompanied by abominable music, promising the audience things like ‘Taking you on a magic journey through fire and ice’? You can’t be serious!”
“Why not?” Gerd protested, “I could make it happen—and anyway I would do everything completely differently.”
Sherie, who had no idea what an ‘Ice Capade’ was, looked at them in bewilderment. “Hang on, what are you talking about?”
Bear and Arthur tried hard to suppress their giggles.
“Assholes! You promised not to laugh!” Gerd grumbled indignantly.
“Who’s laughing!” Bear chuckled,” Arthur, are you laughing?”
“Mpfrfrfr...” was all Arthur could squeeze out, shaking his head.
Gerd snorted and turned away demonstratively. “You can all kiss my ass!”
“No please, tell us what the show’s about, please, please!” Bear begged with a trustworthy bat of the eyelids.
“Fuck off all of you, I’m going to bed.” Gerd stomped off and lay down in the sand a couple of yards away.
It took quite a while before Arthur and Bear calmed down. Eventually the giggling stopped and only the sound of cracking firewood was to be heard.
“Just tell me something,” Gerd groaned as he dug out a stone from his sleeping hollow. “Why do we never stay at a hotel?”
They all stared at him. Indeed, it had not crossed anyone’s mind so far, that it wasn’t absolutely necessary to sleep on the ground out in the wild every night. They had just done it without thinking about it, simply ignoring the sometimes quite nice-looking hotels and guesthouses that they had passed along their way.
Arthur was the first to break the stunned silence. “Well, it’s what we did from the very beginning, um... it was Bear’s idea, originally… I mean it’s not for my sake... we don’t have to...”
“To be honest, me, I’m not quite the adventurous type, not like you two” Gerd said.
“Personally I’d prefer a real bed to a sand hollow, however alluring it might be...”
Bear shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you lot. This is beautiful!
Beneath the stars, fresh air, and a crackling campfire...”
“... with mosquitoes and scorpions!” Sherie finished Bear’s sentence, grinning.
“Anyway, its much cheaper this way” Bear shot back.
Gerd got up and moved towards the pile of firewood. “With all due respect to your Boy Scout romanticism, a hotel room wouldn’t be thaaat expensive, would it?
“That’s easy for you to say, you ace Ice Capade director,” Bear grumbled taken aback. “But right now it’s you who’s broke and freeloading.”
Gerd blew his top. “What? Are you nuts? First I’m getting fleeced good and proper by this slut—and now I’m supposed to keep my mouth shut just to keep the peace and in the end be GRATEFUL? You must be out of your mind!”
Sherie jumped up. “Look. For the last time, I am sorry, mea culpa, whatever. Happy now? I didn’t know you, after all, dammit!”
“I don’t give a shit! It’s just not very nice to drug people and rob them afterwards.”
“Oh, upholding moral standards, are we? Well, excuse me but I happened not to be born with a golden spoon in my mouth like some of you here!”
Arthur rolled his eyes moaning, “Here we go again.” Gerd not listening jumped up as well.
“Oh, just because you’re poor gives you the right to rob people? I’m not even going to discuss such a stupid point, I just want my money back!”
“... and I have told you a thousand times, I don’t have it anymore. I always give everything to Báaba.” Sherie defended herself.
“Who, if I’m not mistaken, has been taken for a ride by you as well... Why don’t you just admit it, you’ve got it somewhere, sitting on it like a spider, holding on to it like everything else your grimy claws can get hold of!”
Bear got up and with an appeasing gesture moved between the two. “Come on, easy now, both of you”.
But Sherie was furious. “Get out of my way!” she spat, grabbing her shoulder bag and pushing Bear away so hard he almost fell backwards into the fire. “If you don’t trust me, you’ll be better off without me!” Mortally offended, she threw back her head, turned around abruptly and stormed from the campground in a huff.
“We certainly will be!” Gerd yelled after her, angrily stomping his foot on the ground.
Arthur’s eyes followed her. “Should I get her back? Surely we can’t let her go off all by herself?”
Bear shook his head. “Don’t bother—she dropped the photos from her bag when she left.” He picked up a fat brown envelope from the spot where, just a minute ago, Sherie had been sitting. “Anyway, I still have the grass. Believe me, she’ll be back as soon as she’s calmed down.”
“I can see the photos” Gerd sneered, “but where’s the grass, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I’ve got it right here” Bear replied, reaching inside his vest. He froze, franticly searched all his pockets before finally admitting defeat. “What a bitch...” he grunted angrily, kicking a stone into the darkness.
“Couldn’t we stop at some hotel already?” Rajnesh moaned for the hundredth time. He was sitting in the backseat of the SUV staring wearily at the passing landscape whose attractions in the darkness were decidedly limited.
Number One, who was driving the vehicle, answered without turning his head. “Shut up, we drive straight to Jaipur!”
“How long before we get there?” Rajnesh moaned.
“Until we get there” murmured Number Two, who was crouched in the passenger seat. He pulled his jacket over his head and tried to find a comfortable resting position.
Rajnesh did not give up. “How far left to go?”
But he was left ignored. They had been on their way since early that morning. Once Shaki had decided—partly out of stinginess, partly for tactical reasons—to divide everyone up, they had been sitting in the car. Due to the fact that Bear, the other two foreigners and the street urchin were probably a good way ahead of them, they made no stops. With a monotone roar the car sped through the night, tossed about by the numerous potholes along the way. Number Two’s head frequently dropped to his chest, shaking him awake for a split second. He then altered his uncomfortable position, smacked his lips and fell asleep until his head dropped—and the whole process started all over again.
Rajnesh however, could not sleep at all. His mind worked relentlessly. If he could catch those four up ahead before they reached Delhi, Saki would be proud of him for sure. And he really wanted his uncle to be proud of him. Just before they had parted, Rajnesh overheard this
Báaba fellow announcing that in Delhi the foursome would get caught in a trap. The old Sikh had mobilised all and sundry—and that was quite a lot. He had connections ‘all the way up’ in Delhi and even the street cops were on his pay roll. No way would those Four be able to make a single step into the city without Bábaa being informed. The whole of Delhi was one big trap for them—and they were heading right into it. Rajnesh had noticed how deeply impressed his uncle had been of Báaba’s power. This was what railed him. He would prove to his uncle that he was worth his salt. He would show this old Sikh that his uncle too had able men behind him. He would prove it to himself, that he had what it took to be a top dog in this business. All he had to do was catch those Four before they reached Delhi.
There remained only one small problem: he had no idea exactly where they were. But to get to Delhi they would have to go through Rajasthan and the best way to do that would be to take the highway via Jaip
ur. If he could get there before them, he had only to wait for them with his arms outstretched. Seemed like an almost perfect plan.
A sudden hit on the brakes tore Rajnesh away from his thoughts.
“What happened?” he asked Number One, who was cursing silently to himself.
“Military convoy, travelling right ahead of us,” he answered, shifting down gear.
Rajnesh peered through the windscreen at the vehicles in front of them. The army, no doubt about it. He could make out several jeeps and transport trucks in camouflage. Even if he had never seen those kind of brown uniforms of the soldiers before.
‘Probably some special forces’ he thought and fell back into his seat.
Number One cursed: “This is just great!” The convoy, taking up the best part of the road, would not let them pass. “Now we have to crawl behind these guys until we reach Jaipur I suppose.”
Number Two peeked up from under his jacket, peered out of the window, glanced at the road map, looked out of the window again and pulled the jacket back over his head. “There’s a little turn-off in two kilometres on the right hand side. The road’s not as good, but it’s a short cut” came the muffled voice from underneath the cloth.
Number One looked at him in surprise. “How do you know...?”
“Had a girlfriend from around here once. I know where I am.”
“Where? There’s nothing here!”
“Ah, but there is. My ex, to be exact, and the short cut.”
Sherie stumbled through the night, swearing her head off. She was utterly mad, disappointed and sad. The fact that in the darkness her sari constantly got tangled in thorn bushes and the way that she only noticed holes in the ground after she fell into them, plus her constant bumping into rocks did not particularly enhance her mood. Sure, she’d rather have turned around and gone back to the campfire, but her pride would never permit it. That cheeky bastard, who did he think he was? Always nothing but insults and suspicions. Of course she still had Gerd’s wallet, but he didn’t know that, did he? Just now when she had started to feel at ease around people for the first time. Riding on a motorbike, evenings at a campfire, visiting the loony Nazi—she had never had so much fun in her life! (Actually, she’d never really had any sort of fun in her life at all.) At long last she had actually felt free, free to be herself amongst people she liked. She could not recall ever having felt such a thing. And now she was alone again. Anyhow, she had possessed the quick-wittedness to relieve Bear of the Golden Biker, pulling it from his vest pocket when he she had pushed him out of the way.
And she had the cash from Gerd’s wallet, meaning she could get by on her own. Nothing new there. She didn’t need friends. What were they for? They were only a burden, really... What kind of friends were they anyway, if they didn’t trust each other? OK, maybe they had a point there... Perhaps she should have given Gerd his money back.
Sherie stopped in her tracks. If she went back now, gave Gerd back his wallet, apologised with her special ‘I’m-so-sorry-look’, would all be forgotten and forgiven? But on the other hand, was she not a lone she-wolf? Had it not always worked out for the best as long as she looked after her own interests regardless? Was she not… um, where indeed was she?
Suddenly she realised that she had no clue as to where she was going. She had completely lost her orientation in the darkness. Sherie stood on tiptoe peering into the distance to look for the light of the campfire. In vain, there was nothing but pitch-dark night around her.
“Shit!” Sherie tried to work out which direction she had come from, then defiantly marched off in the opposite direction.
“Ouch!” Rajnesh howled in protest after having hit the car roof for the tenth time. “This road is what you call ‘not as good’? These potholes are fucking craters!”
Number One had taken the short cut recommended by Number Two and it had turned out to be full of potholes. The SUV’s shock absorbers were knocking alarmingly, and despite Number Two’s heroic attempts to circumnavigate the biggest potholes that appeared in the headlights in front of him at the very last second, the passengers were being tossed about like rag dolls. Rajnesh was in a foul mood as well: “And this road is supposed to get us to Jaipur faster? If it goes on like this, we’ll still be jolting along by tomorrow.”
Number Two, who by now had given up any hope of a nap, said sulkily: “How was I to know? Ten years ago this road was ‘pukka’!”
“Ten years ago!” Rajnesh groaned “we can forget about Jaipur then! By the time we get there...”
Number Two pulled his jacket over his head again, trying yet another futile attempt at finding a comfortable sleeping position. “Crackpot idea” he grumbled. “Who said, they were going to pass through Jaipur, anyway? Suppose they don’t stop at all—or they take a completely different route?”
Rajnesh crossed his arms and stared out at the night through the side windows. “You got a better idea? We can hardly expect them to jump right in front of our car, you know—”
WHAM!
The SUV had struck a figure, which had appeared out of nowhere, standing in the middle of the road—definitely not a place to be hanging around. Aghast, Number One hit the brakes, tyres skidding.
“Good evening” said the friendly dwarf, lighting up a non-filter. Sherie was a little startled.
Moments ago she had been stumbling through the night without any sense of direction, and had found the road again by sheer luck. Then suddenly she had been caught in the headlights of a fast-approaching car and—WHAM!—She found herself lying in a ditch where, for no apparent reason a dwarf with a full beard, smoking cheap cigarettes, holding a tiny red elephant on a leash, joined her.
“Um, who are you?” It seemed a not altogether unreasonable question she thought to herself.
“Hmm? Who?” The dwarf demonstratively looked around. “Oh, me—I’m a dwarf, can’t you see?”
Sherie raised herself up on one arm. “And what are you doing here?”
The dwarf, holding up his cigarette, said, “Smoking!”
“Ah...” Sherie was a bit baffled. Whatever had happened? “Um, could I have one of those?” she asked politely.
“Hell yeah,” the dwarf answered, offering her the pack. “All part of the service.”
Sherie took one and had it lit. “What kind of service?”
“I am your PUA.”
“My what?”
“Your Personal-Unconsciousness-Assistant. I’m doing this part time.”
Sherie took a deep drag then blew out a long trail of smoke. “Am I... unconscious?”
The dwarf laughed. “Of course you are, my girl, anybody would be after running in front of a car like that!”
Sherie became scared. A car accident? She hadn’t registered anything of that sort. “Am I badly... I mean, am I going to come to again?”
The dwarf casually flicked the butt into the ditch. “Well, I sincerely hope so, for both our sakes. I mean, I can’t be here forever, you know. Actually, I work in strip-mining, but you can’t make ends meet, nowadays. A guy has to make a living. So I’ve gotten this part time job as a PUA. Yesterday for instance, I was—”
“Excuse me,” interrupted Sherie, “but when is it exactly that I wake up?”
The dwarf pulled out a big golden pocket watch and looked sternly at the dial.
“In Five... Four... Three... Two... One... Now!”
“She’s coming to!” Number One said with a hint of relief in his voice.
Rajnesh could not believe his luck. In the middle of absolutely nowhere Sherie had jumped in front of their car almost as if she’d fallen straight out of the sky. When Rajnesh had seen the ravishing (albeit rather unconscious) woman in the ditch, he recognised her at once. He had not met her before in person—the embarrassing episode in the beer bar had in fact impeded this encounter—but
after Bábaa had copied and circulated her picture, Rajnesh—and for that matter probably half of Delhi—knew her face by now. For a moment Rajnesh feared the crash might have seriously injured her. However after close examination—extending to parts of the body not vital for survival—it became obvious that apart from some bruises she was absolutely fine. Dead, she would not have been of much use, but alive she was the best thing that could have happened to Rajnesh.
With a moan Sherie opened her eyes and looked at Rajnesh in a way that made his brain conjure up images of Bambi, romantic walks in the rain and shower gel commercials. He swallowed hard. “May I be of assistance?” he asked, gallantly offering his arm.
Sherie shook her head violently to regain her senses. She cast a look at the three gangsters, a look as sensual as dark, heavy velvet, opened her full pouting lips and declared:
“Which of you sisterfuckers ran me over? You got Rotis stuck to your eyes or what?”
Number Two, being the only one not affected by Sherie’s charm, yanked her by the arm, threw her forcefully onto the hood of the car and tied her hands behind her back. Sherie, suddenly wide-awake, screamed.
“Hey!” Rajnesh protested indignantly. “You’re hurting her!”
Number Two double-checked the knots he had tied and was satisfied. “I’m the only one who’s hurting here, my hand is killing me!”
“You run over a helpless woman and then you tie her up?” Sherie railed at them. “What kind of perverts are you, really?”
“We’re from Goa” Rajnesh introduced himself.
“Oh, and running people over and tying them up is the customary way of introduction there?”
“Um, no, of course not...” Sherie’s ravishing good looks combined with her foul mouth confused Rajnesh. “We have orders to catch the three foreigners you left Bombay with. Oh yes, and when we do, we’re supposed to turn you over to Báaba.”
Sherie went instantly pale. (Well, as much as her bronzed skin tone would allow.) “You... you’re Báaba’s henchmen?”
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