DUBIOUS
Also by Tina Brooks McKinney
All That Drama
Lawd, Mo’ Drama
Fool Stop Trippin’
Deep Deception
Snapped
Taboo Publishing
425 Princeton Way
Covington, GA 30016
For more information please visit:
www.taboopublishing.com
Copyright ©2008 by Tina Brooks McKinney
First Printing 2008
ISBN 13: 978-0-9821089-0-1
ISBN No 10: 0-9811089-0-7
LCCN: 2008908511
Printed in the United States of America
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means including scanning, uploading, electronic, mechanical or photocopying or stored in a retrieval system without permission from the publisher.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are generated from the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, living or dead is entirely coincidental.
Cover Design by: Brenda Hampton
Copy Edited by: Oasis
Revised : August 3, 2010
In lieu of posting dedications in this novel, I want to give a warning to my fellow readers and writers. Cyrus Webb, of Conversations Book Club is a liar and a theft. Please do not support anything that he is affiliated with. He has cheated authors out of their money and their books. If you're scheduled to visit with him--proceed with caution. DO NOT LEND HIM MONEY AND DON'T LEAVE YOUR BOOKS WITH HIM.
While there are many legitimate book lovers and promoters out there, he is not one of them. Beware of this crook! Ask questions before you decide to proceed. Most of us will give you honest opinions.
I will shout out some of my legitimate friends, Savvy Book Club, Between Friends, Page Turner Book Club, Press & Curl Sisters.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Typically, my acknowledgements are long but I’m not going there this time. The people that are in my life know who they are and how much I appreciate them. I do want to send a special shout out to the new people that haven’t been listed in any of my previous publications. Again, I ask that you not bash me because I didn’t list your ass separately. I still love you but this is the hardest part of writing a book. With that said, here we go. I would like to thank first and foremost God, I prayed on this novel because of the subject matter. I knew folks would start to look at me funny when it hit the streets. Let me go on record as having said, I didn’t try none of this shit in the book. It was purely my imagination. In fact, the whole premises of this story came from my getting my hair braided and a subsequent conversation that was going on while I was there. I have not slept with a dog, nor do I have a dog so please do not think I have this twisted stuff going on at my house.
On my dedications page, I blasted a crook but there are many book clubs that are supportive and one of the many clubs, in Jackson Mississippi, was the Savvy Book Club. They stepped up to the plate when Cyrus showed me his ass to kiss. I need to say a special thank you to Ms. Rose, the president. She showed me much love and continues to do so. I would also like to shout out my fellow authors that have taken this journey with me on this book. Authors – Oasis, Shelley Halima, Wanda D. Luv, Trice Hickman, Dwyane Burch, Rodney Lofton and so many more. It was your strength, faith and hope that encouraged me to do this. Special shouts out to Brenda Hampton for her work on the cover and layout of this book!
To my avid readers please know that this book is a stretch from my normal works. I actually did this for you to let you know I cannot be pigeon holed into one genre. If a story needs to be told, I want to be the one that told it. This book does not denounce or promote such activities—they exist and I wrote about it.
Finally, to my family, my husband and number one supporter, my children Shannan and Estrell, my parents, who I’m blessed to still have, Ivor and Judy, and my sister Theresa. I love you all. Lawd knows ya’ll have put up with my ass throughout my writing life. I know you are sick of me saying “I’m on deadline”. Thanks for putting up with me in spite of my shortcomings.
I could go on and on but since I’m paying for the pages, I’m stopping here. Please don’t misconstrue my intentions. If you are in my life, I love you. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
CHAPTER 1
Felicia
“My drought ends today!” I slapped my fist against the cool glass that covered my maple desk and winched in pain. “Ouch!” I shook my hand trying to soothe the ache away.
In retrospect, the soreness was nothing compared to the hurt in my heart. But it ended today. I grabbed my DK bag from my bottom drawer then fished through it for my keys.
I was becoming more frustrated by the minute because the keys were eluding me. Is this a sign from God telling me to sit my black ass down? The thought stunned me. For a brief second, I stopped searching.
“Naw, the good Lord knows that if I don’t get laid soon, I’m going to go postal up in this camp. I know he doesn’t want that!” I knew something had to change because I had started talking to myself, and I wasn’t sure what that would have escalated to. I shook my bag, and short of flipping it over on the top of my desk, I found them.
I was about to go on a mission.
I stopped only long enough to tell my secretary, Shakira, that I was taking an extended lunch. The look she gave me was priceless. I hit the parking deck moving faster than the law should have allowed. The clacking of my heels against the concrete was the only sound I heard.
It was barely eleven in the morning, and I had written work off. What made it so bad was I didn’t even look to see what was on my calendar for the rest of the day. The urge to be fucked was just that strong. It had been two long years since I’d held my husband in my arms, and I was sick and tired of the bullshit.
Sliding into the driver’s seat, I flung my purse into the back and snapped on my seatbelt in two fluid movements. My reflection from my rearview mirror caught my attention. The image that stared back scared the hell out of me. I looked like I was one of those crazy and deranged people they talk about on the Michael Baisden show. I snickered as I put the car in drive and peeled out the parking deck only stopping long enough to punch in my exit code.
My plan was simple: I was going to seduce my husband. He was going to give me the loving that I’d been craving for by hook, crook, or any means necessary. I was tired of pleasing myself at night and sleeping in our king-sized bed alone. I was not made for that crap. I needed me a nice hunk of meat to warm me up and then hose me down, preferably with his mouth.
The sad part about this whole situation was I didn’t realize it had been two years until I had come across an old anniversary card that I had stuck in my desk. It reminded me of just how long it had been since Randy and I actually talked face to face, fucked, or anything else. He was so caught up in running his own business; he never took time out for us.
Although I wanted to place all the blame on him, I had to admit my part in the situation. When he had first started working those crazy hours at the kennel, I did nothing but complain. He had accused me of being selfish and wanting him to fail, even though I had put up the money to finance his dream. Hurt that he could even think such a thing about me, I decided to never say another word about the time he put in. At first I thought it was admirable, and I felt good about my investment. But that shit had gotten real old. Desperate times called for drastic measures.
Lost in thought, I had driven right pass the mall. “Damn,” I said, hitting the steering wheel for emphasis.
I waited impatiently for the light to change then risked a ticket by doing a U-turn in a lane that was clearly marked for no such turns. My eyes search my rearview mirror, praying that no bl
ue lights were flashing behind me. Thank, God.
I was behaving so irrationally, I was scaring myself. To my surprise the mall was crowded, and finding a parking space was not easy. Slowing down to an empty spot, I debated on whether or not to risk my luck by parking in the handicapped spot. Thankfully, I notice another spot farther down the aisle.
* * *
Bypassing my favorite store, Macy’s, I went right to Victoria’s Secret in search of the perfect raunchy outfit that would make Randy want to suck the lining out my pussy. It was short, black, and sexy, and the matching thong was see-through.
I spent a few extra minutes picking just the right scent that would tickle his nose but still please his mouth. Satisfied with my selection, I hurried to the register and paid for my items.
I could hear my cell phone chirping in my purse. Since it was not the ring tone that I had assigned to Randy, I didn’t answer. Truth be told: I would not have spoken to him anyway because that would have spoiled my plans. With my bags in tow, I rushed back to my car.
During the drive home, I fantasized about the afternoon of loving I had planned. The hardest part was going to be getting my husband there to participate. If someone would have told me three years ago that I would have had to resort to trickery to spend some time with my husband, I would have told them they had lost their damn mind. I thought about how my marriage had spiraled downward and said to myself, “What happened to us?”
Fighting against a depression that was threatening to overwhelm me, I tried to put this thought out of mind and concentrate on getting Randy to come home. Once he got there, I was confident that getting him into our bed was not going to be a problem. He had to be as horny as I was. We had just let life and our desire to succeed get in the way of communication and affection, but that was going to change in about an hour.
* * *
I jumped in the shower and went over the details of my plan as I gently shaved my pubic hair. This was something that Randy had always asked me to do, but I had dismissed the idea because the new growth was bound to itch. The last thing I needed was an itchy coochie while cross-examining a witness. That thought made me laugh out loud. Laughter was foreign to me.
I can’t remember the last time I had done it.
I stepped out the shower, hurried into the bedroom to dress. Resisting the urge to tie my hair into a ponytail, I opted to leave it hanging down instead. As I spread lotion on my legs, I could not help but to imagine Randy’s hands on my legs instead of my own. Not wanting to waste another minute, I snatched the phone from my nightstand and called Randy.
He picked up on the third ring. “Randy speaking.”
“Hey, it’s me.” I tried to sound like I was all about business and not extremely horny and was about to pop off at any second.
“Hey.”
I could hear him sigh as if I had interrupted him at a critical moment. I fought the urge to get mad. “I know that you are super busy, but we’ve got a problem.”
“What’s up?”
I guess I had gotten his attention because I didn’t detect an attitude.
“I’ve been putting your mail in your office, and since you haven’t been here, it’s piling up. A letter came from the bank that requires your signature, today. They sent this second request Certified Mail, and I signed for it.”
“Why does the bank need my signature? The loan is in your name; I’m just a tenant.”
“It’s the Use and Occupancy Permit and as the tenant, you have to sign it. If we don’t get the papers back today, they will place the loan in default.”
He sighed. “Fine. I can’t leave right now, but if you bring them to the kennel, I can sign them real quick.”
“Sorry, I can’t. I had to come home to change clothes because I spilled coffee on my shirt. If you come home now, I can drop them off to the bank and still be on time for my two o’clock deposition.”
“Damn. What time is it?”
“Eleven-thirty.”
“Alright, I’m on my way. Leave the papers on my desk, and I’ll sign them. I’ve got to get right back. I’ve got an appointment this afternoon that I can’t be late for.” He hung up without saying goodbye.
“I got your appointment.” I threw the phone on the bed and continued to get dressed. “Nothing is more important than the appointment you have between my legs and getting us back on track.”
***
I nervously paced the floor while awaiting Randy’s arrival. I could not decide where would be the best place to greet him. Part of me wanted to stand at the front door butter-ball naked, but the thought of carpet burns on my ass ruled that out. I wanted him to manhandle me like he did when we had first gotten married, rip my clothes off, suck my breasts, and drive his dick deep into my emptiness.
My pussy had gotten wet just thinking about it.
“I sure hope he takes a bath before he comes home,” I mumbled out loud, even though I had already decided I would take the dick in whatever form he decided to give it to me.
Ever since he had started running the kennel, he stopped doing the basic things in life like bathing. His goatee, which he normally kept trim and distinguished, had turned into a wild and wooly beard. His hair had grown long enough to braid, but I would be happy if he ran a comb through it or, at the very least, he wiped off all the dog hair that seemed to cling to his skin. The Randy I remembered had skin like rich milk chocolate. He was a hunk who was well over six feet tall, who weighed in at about 230 pounds. He had the most perfect teeth, and he had two dimples that made me wanna holla every time he smiled. His most striking feature, though, was his eyes. Most black men had dark brown or black eyes but his were chestnut with flecks of green in them.
I heard the downstairs door opening and the sound of rapid foot falls across the hardwood floors. I expected him to call me any minute, and he did not disappoint me.
“Felicia, I don’t see any paperwork.”
“I’m up here,” I hollered back. I draped myself over the bed in my most provocative pose. My pussy was practically dripping in anticipation.
He took the stairs, seemingly two at a time, and arrived at our bedroom out of breath and disheveled as hell. His smell assaulted my nose, and I fought hard not to wrinkle my nose in distaste. Briefly, I toyed with the idea of getting mine in the shower, thereby killing two birds with one stone.
Looking everywhere but nowhere near me, he went right to our dresser, not bothering to so much as to say hi. I struggled against the urge to snap on him. Didn’t he see this pussy all dressed up for him?
Throwing up his hands in apparent frustration, he turned to face me. “Where are the papers you said I need to sign? Didn’t I tell you I have to run in and out?”
His anger was barely kept in check, but he wasn’t the only one angry now. I had one nerve left and he was standing on it, but again, I held my tongue.
“Hello,” I said, trying my best to sound seductive, but it didn’t resonant that way to my ears. I sounded needy instead.
“Hey.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his wild hair, leaving stray hairs, which I assumed were from the dogs that were ruining our lives.
“Sit down for a minute; it’s been so long since we’ve had a chance to talk to each other.” Patting the bed, I tried to get him to look at me, but he wasn’t cooperating.
“Yeah, talk … that’s right. I’ve been meaning to talk to you for some time now,” he said, almost mumbling. He was still distracted, and his eyes were wandering around the room.
My heart soared with love. All the preparation and the deceit were about to pay off. I moved over on the bed to allow him room to rest his body, but he remained standing. Hoping to urge him along, I tugged aside the thin material that hid my clean-shaven pussy.
“It’s about the kennel.” He cleared his throat as if he were searching for the right words to say.
I was outdone. Here I sat practically dripping like a faucet and he wanted to talk about his precious kennel. “The what?” I sai
d in disbelief. Surely my ears were deceiving me.
“The kennel, I need to expand it. I need you to take out a second mortgage on the house to help me grow the business.”
“What did you say?” Snapping my legs shut, I sat up on the bed so fast I felt dizzy. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn that I’d stepped onto the set of The Twilight Zone.
“Come on, Felicia, I don’t have a lot of time.” He looked at his watch for emphasis.
Something inside me snapped. I grabbed my robe from the foot of the bed and put it on. Since it was obvious that Randy wasn’t interested in what I was offering him, there wasn’t need to continue lying around like a dressed turkey at Thanksgiving. My ego was bruised. I started to wonder why I was trying so hard to hold on to this asshole. “Oh, it’s like that? You barge in here—after God’s knows how long—and have the nerve to twist your lips to say that you don’t have time for me?” I was livid.
“I didn’t say I didn’t have time for you. I just said I didn’t have time for this!” He looked around the room and finally noticed the candles, the soft music coming out of the stereo, and if he hadn’t been so funky, the erotic smells emanating from the room. Understanding finally ignited. His eyes softened, but the words he uttered remained the same. “Look, let me sign the papers. We can talk about the loan later tonight. I gotta run.” He looked around the room again, dismissing me and my wants and desires.
This was the final straw as far as I was concerned. “There is nothing to talk about. I won’t do it.”
“I’m not here to argue with you, Felicia. Just give me the damn papers and stop acting like a silly bitch.”
I could tell he regretted the silly bitch part almost immediately after he had said it, but it was too late. The damage was done.
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