“You know how these parties are,” he murmured.
“Yes, I do,” Jason said with a pointed stare. “I’ve been to a great many of them, as have you. But you don’t normally moon around like this.”
Seth shook his head. “You are being ridiculous.”
Jason continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “In fact, when I have seen a man going on as you are, there is almost always some foolishness involved with a woman. Like he believes himself…” His friend trailed off and straightened up with eyes wide. “Wait, don’t tell me you fancy yourself in love with one of these chits.”
Seth nearly choked on his next breath. “What?”
Jason rolled his eyes. “Really, Lyndham, not a one is interesting beyond two minutes of conversation. I refuse to come to your wedding if you shackle yourself to one of them.”
“Oh, for God’s sake, I’m not in love,” Seth snapped as he pushed off from his desk and walked to the window to look out on the garden.
Of course, he could turn his back on Jason, but not his own feelings. When his friend asked him about love, Isabel’s image popped very clearly into his mind. And not Isabel in a state of undress, but with a smile on her face, a twinkle in her eyes, with all her compassion and friendship for him.
“I’m not in love,” he repeated, his time softer.
“Good,” Jason said after a long enough hesitation that Seth looked over his shoulder at him. He found his friend staring at him, arms folded. “I only suggested it because you had a rather gooey-eyed look about you.”
Seth sighed heavily. “Don’t be an idiot.”
Jason tilted his head and the seriousness returned. “You say it isn’t love, but there is something wrong. What is it? Your family is well, are they not?”
“Yes,” Seth said, smiling since Jason’s concern on this topic was very real.
And why not? Jason had been there through the death of both Seth’s father and his brother. And for all Seth’s exasperation with the earl, the man was his closest friend. He would be there however he could be if Seth asked.
Which made the fact that he couldn’t confide in him about his situation with Isabel all the more difficult.
“My family is fine,” he continued through clenched teeth. “I’m only under a great deal of pressure at present.”
Jason’s mouth thinned. “For that, I am truly sorry.”
They were silent for a moment, both men uncomfortable with this true expression of emotional closeness between them. Of course it was Jason who broke it.
“Why don’t you let me arrange for a girl for you?” his friend asked with a wicked glint in his eye. “There’s nothing like a night with a woman to ease the tension.”
Seth glared at him. “Great God, man, no. I don’t want you arranging anything.”
Jason chuckled. “You never let me have any fun at all.”
Seth shook his head. “I can arrange for my own girl if I want one.”
Jason lifted his eyebrows as he began to back out of the door. “Wellll, la-de-dah, my lord. You tell me know how that goes.”
As Seth grabbed the closest decorative pillow from the settee near him and tossed it toward the door, Jason scurried out with a boisterous laugh that made Seth smile. But the moment his friend was gone, the smile faded.
His concerns must be obvious, indeed, if Jason had the wherewithal to notice them. He just had to hope no one else could see how conflicted he was.
Especially Isabel.
Seth led his mother to the head of the table and then turned back to his own place with a smile. He had specially arranged that Isabel would be seated next to him tonight, as a way to make up for worrying her the day before. He settled into his place and quietly greeted the others around him before turning to the woman at his right hand.
Isabel wore a gown of bright green with lovely yellow flowers stitched across the silken fall of her skirt. It heightened the brightness of her eyes and the clarity of her fine skin, but Seth rather thought the best of the gown’s advantages was the way her cleavage was slightly lifted. He couldn’t help but picture stripping her out of it later.
“Good evening, Lady Avenbury,” he said with great emphasis and a smile meant only for her.
She stifled a laugh at his foolishness with a shake of her head before she answered, “Good evening, my lord.”
Her answering smile was so bright and beautiful that Seth realized no matter what else happened during supper, it was going to be a good night because of that one moment.
The others nearby gave them odd looks and Seth cleared his throat and stopped beaming at Isabel in the hopes no one would notice their special connection.
In fact, he had specially planned their seating arrangements tonight with just that hope in mind. Much to his mother’s confusion, he had asked that the very oldest and dullest chaperones be placed near him, as well as Isabel. He assumed those with poor hearing and little personality would be less likely to note the passion between them.
But as the meal began with little conversation from those around them, Isabel leaned forward.
“Lady Hamweigh,” she said, looking at a duchess next to her who had to be pushing eighty. The other women didn’t respond, and so Isabel raised her voice. “Your Grace?”
The other woman shook her head as if waking from a dream and smiled down the table. “Oh yes, Lady Avenbury. Why, don’t you look pretty.”
Isabel blushed at the compliment and Seth thought, once again, of the height of her pleasure. Damn, but the woman was a distraction.
“Thank you, Your Grace,” Isabel said, her tone remaining elevated so the duchess could hear her. “I appreciate your kindness.”
“I feel as though I haven’t seen you in an age,” the other woman continued.
Seth sighed. It seemed as though his intentions were about to be squashed, for Lady Hamweigh looked prepared to launch into a long and droning conversation with Isabel.
But Isabel seemed less perturbed by that fact. She smiled, and the expression was honest and welcoming. “I was thinking the same thing, Your Grace. You see, I wanted to ask after your good works. You just involved yourself in a charity for orphans, I’ve heard.”
Seth blinked as the other woman’s face lit up. He had known Lady Hamweigh since he was in short pants and had never seen her look so pleased or so animated.
“I did indeed,” the other woman gushed. “My grandson’s servant recently died, leaving a young child with no one to care for him. We arranged for something for the child, but it occurred to me that those of a lower class must have this happen all the time. With a little investigation, I heard such tales of tragedy about small children without homes, without hope. I told my sewing circle that if we were to be so privileged, why should we not share that with others who are less fortunate?”
Seth stared in shock at the realization that the little old woman gave such things any thought at all.
“Your Grace, that is a noble endeavor indeed,” he said with true admiration.
Isabel glanced at him with a brief smile before she returned her attention to Lady Hamweigh. “It is. I was so moved when I heard of your actions. I would dearly love to become involved myself. I know a little about the pain of being orphaned and of raising two parentless children.”
Her Grace’s eyes widened. “Oh yes, my dear. A woman with the experiences you have had would be a boon to our circle.” The duchess leaned forward conspiratorially, although being nearly deaf she didn’t lower her tone when she said, “And to be honest with you, I think our group needs to have some younger ladies involved in our pursuit. Some of the older women are so easily distracted.”
Isabel smiled, though Seth could see she was stifling a burst of laughter at Lady Hamweigh’s implication that there were those older than her in the group. She was one of the oldest women in Society at present.
Still, Isabel’s voice was kind when she said, “I’m certain many of my friends would take part in such an endeavor without hesitation. M
ay I call on you upon our return to London and discuss it further?”
As the other woman nodded, Isabel now turned her attention to the gentleman across from her. Just as she had done with the Duchess of Hamweigh, Isabel engaged him, drawing him into discussion and including everyone within earshot of their conversation. People Seth hadn’t thought of in years were suddenly talking, laughing and showing sides to their personalities that he sadly hadn’t thought existed.
Seth drew back in wonder. Here he had seated himself and Isabel near people he considered to be bores in order to have her to himself because of all the things he already knew about her. Instead, he had ended up observing even more of Isabel’s excellent qualities.
She could effortlessly engage anyone and make them feel important. It was an exceptional quality in one of her rank, and one he wanted in a bride, but found lacking in many of the young and inexperienced ladies who paraded before him like overly dressed peacocks. Few of them were old enough to think of anyone but themselves, for they had experienced little in the world but their own estates and families.
Isabel laughed and those around her couldn’t help but smile, including Seth. It was simply in her nature to make others feel comfortable, to pull them into her world and make them forget all others. A fact that was underscored when his mother rose and gave him a brief look.
“Perhaps we should retire to the parlor, Seth, for drinks and whist?”
Seth blinked. He had hardly even noticed that the supper had ended, the food cleared away and the other guests were waiting expectantly. With a start, he got to his feet.
“Of course, Mother, I apologize. To the Green Parlor, then,” he said as he moved down the table to escort her.
He took a quick glance behind him as they exited the room and was irritated to see both Lord Monthaven and Sir Gregory moving toward Isabel to offer their arm as escort. Monthaven was a houseguest, so there was no avoiding him, but Seth had no idea why Sir Gregory had to be invited to each and every damned dinner.
He turned away before he could see Isabel’s choice and anger himself further.
“Are you well, darling?” his mother asked at his elbow. “You look grim.”
Seth shook off his unpleasant jealousy and smiled at his mother. “Oh, no, I’m quite well.”
“And how did you find your conversation with the chaperones?” his mother asked with a quick smile.
Seth couldn’t help but think of Isabel once again. “Surprising,” he admitted with a shake of his head. “Lady Avenbury is very…interesting.”
His mother nodded as they wound their way through the hall. “Oh, yes. It is a shame she is in the position she is.”
Seth’s brow wrinkled. “And what position would that be?”
“Well, you know—” his mother dropped her voice to a whisper, “—barren, a bit too old to tempt the men of a younger age in the ton who are eligible for a match.”
Seth ground his teeth. Although these facts were the very ones he and Isabel had already discussed at length, he didn’t like to hear them spoken about…to hear Isabel spoken about as if she were less worthy than any other woman.
His mother continued, oblivious to his feelings on the matter. “But I think she has other qualities that will overcome her failings. Her inheritance is quite large, and I’m sure some widower who already has his heir would be happy to take her.”
Seth turned on his mother as they entered the parlor. “Any man who believed he had to lower himself to ‘take her’, as you put it, is a fool who doesn’t deserve her for a moment. I learned a great deal about Lady Avenbury tonight, Mama. Chiefly that she is a diamond amongst paste stones.”
His mother blinked up at him and only then did Seth recognize that he was towering over her, his voice tense and filled with anger. He stepped away in horror as the next couple behind them entered the room.
“I apologize,” he murmured. “You did not deserve to be spoken to in such a manner.”
His mother shook her head, but it was clear she was more worried about his state of mind than offended by his lack of decorum toward her.
“Seth…”
He didn’t allow her to continue. “I should make the rounds of our guests,” he said with a bow. “I hope you can forgive me.”
Without waiting for her answer, he backed away to perform his duties, but he was uneasy. He had done damage tonight. Not only had he spoken to his mother in a harsh tone she did not deserve, but he had revealed to her…and perhaps to himself, just how much Isabel was beginning to mean to him.
And those feelings went far beyond an affair or a meaningless tryst. He feared they would haunt him even when this party was over.
Chapter Nineteen
“There is nothing more erotic than watching and being watched.”—The Ladies Book of Pleasures
When Isabel came into the gatehouse and found Seth was not there waiting for her, she was happy, not worried. The time they’d shared at supper had erased any lingering fears she might have had of his boring of her. He had made such a special effort to make her comfortable.
And now she wished to do the same for him. On the other nights they came here, he had prepared the room for her, lighting the candles, standing at the ready for her. She liked the idea of being the one to greet him.
She busied herself with the fire and the lighting in the room. The servants had made the bed already and she briefly wondered what they thought of the mysterious woman their master was taking to this bed.
She stifled those thoughts. She was too immersed in the desire to continue this affair to let herself be frightened away by worries about what others might say. Seth had assured her his men would be discreet—she had to trust him.
And surprisingly, she did. She had certainly given her body to Seth with abandon and talked to him about things that she had kept inside herself for years.
Only she couldn’t let those feelings grow any more than they already had. She thought of her conversation with Grace that morning. Her heart and her body couldn’t be tangled or she risked hurt and heartbreak at the end.
As she sighed with the thought, the door behind her opened and Isabel moved from the bedroom to the front room just as Seth entered. Her breath caught at the sight of him as he shrugged from his jacket and tossed it across the room toward the nearest chair.
So much for separating her heart and her body. She could feel both of them yearning for him with everything within her.
“Hello,” she said, her tone breathless as she moved to him.
He looked at her, watching her every move as she made her way to his side. She couldn’t help it. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she drew him down for a kiss of welcome and relief.
He crushed her against him unexpectedly, driving his tongue into her mouth with a desperation and a heat she hadn’t felt from him before, even in the height of passion. He seemed angry with this touch, though not at her.
She drew back to look up at him. “I’m so glad you’re here, but I sense that you are troubled.”
Seth stared at her as he backed away from her. His surprise was evident in his wide-eyed expression. “You can sense my mood?”
“I feel it in your kiss that you are out of sorts,” she admitted.
He nodded. “I confess, the night did try my patience.”
Isabel frowned. “I hope I had no part in your ill temper. And that I did nothing to offend you at supper.”
His expression softened greatly as he took her hand and drew her closer. “On the contrary, you were a delight from beginning to end. Though I admit, I was surprised more than once tonight. I had no idea those people were all so interesting and yet you spoke to them, you drew them out.”
Isabel smiled at what she considered a great compliment. “Everyone has something of value to them, Seth. And I was lucky enough to be exposed to many different people during my marriage. I came to appreciate the hidden parts of their personalities.” She shrugged. “But I’m glad my effusiveness isn’t what upse
t you.”
He smiled but she could see his emotions remained jumbled.
Her own smile fell. “Do you want to tell me what it is that keeps you looking so unhappy?”
He looked at her and there was a brief flash of something in his eyes. Of—of pity, though she could scarcely believe it was there. Not in him. Her good mood was gone in an instant and she drew away out of instinct.
“What is it?” she whispered, hating how her voice broke. “Why do you look at me that way?”
He shook his head but he couldn’t meet her eyes any longer. “It isn’t worth discussing, Isabel. Let us simply enjoy our time together.”
“Someone said something about me,” she whispered, her cheeks heating at the thought that someone was talking about her to Seth of all people. “What did they say?”
“It isn’t important,” he insisted as he reached for her hand again.
She dodged the offering with a side step. “Please tell me.”
There was a long hesitation and then he sighed. “I assure you, my mother meant nothing.”
Isabel gasped as her hand came up to cover her suddenly trembling lips. “Your mother. Your mother spoke to you about me?”
He nodded once and his miserable expression told the full story. But she wanted to hear him say it. To tell her.
“What did she say?” she asked as she lowered her hand and straightened her spine. She had to be strong now. She had done it before, she could do it again.
He looked away and Isabel shut her eyes.
“Let me guess,” she whispered, only barely containing her hurt. “It was something along the lines of how sorry she is for me that no one will ever want me again. Or that only someone who desires my fortune will overlook the fact that I am barren and useless.”
Seth sucked in a breath and Isabel didn’t have to hear his answer. It was clear she was on the mark with her guess.
“It isn’t anything that hasn’t been whispered about me before,” Isabel said, though her defeated tone revealed how much those words pained her. “And I suppose she is right.”
A Matter of Sin Page 18