And she had an idea how to start… if she had the courage.
But right now, she had another pressing matter. Work was a lost cause, but Shepherd sat at the bar, a few feet from her, and he’d already started drinking. That’s twice in the same week. Usually, he had a can of soda and something sweet for breakfast.
Something serious must be weighing on his mind. She’d never seen him like this. Not even after his dad died. Shep didn’t have a close relationship with the man, but he’d been a mess. With his father gone, he’d never get the chance to sort out their relationship or finally earn his dad’s approval. Anyone would be proud to call Shep son, but his father never gave him much credit.
Eddie thought he was an asshole.
She snagged her cup of coffee and sat down beside Shep. He didn’t even glance at her, too lost in his own thoughts.
“What’s going on, kid?” she asked, bumping her shoulder against his.
He shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Enough with the evasion tactics. Okay, we can do this one of two ways. You can open up and share, or I can go on a hunting expedition. Either way, it will be interesting for me, but I doubt you’ll enjoy my meddling.”
“Seriously, there’s nothing to tell.” He took another pull on his beer.
“Nope. Try again.” She resisted the urge to ask him when he’d bathed last. But no matter how old your kids get, you still want to mother them.
A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. “You’re callin’ me out, huh?”
She wrapped an arm around his back. “I promised you, I wouldn’t let it go.”
He turned on the barstool, getting closer to her. “I’m thinkin’ about some things. My life.”
“Oh, thanks. That cleared everything right up.”
That earned her a laugh. It warmed her. She hadn’t really seen him genuinely laugh or smile in so long. “Fine, we’ll talk, but not right now.”
“Why not?” she asked. “I thought you could tell me anything, kid. I’ve known you since you were in diapers. You aren’t that big a mystery.”
He chuckled. It sounded dry, like sandpaper. “Oh, I think there might be a thing or two you don’t know about me.” He met her gaze and she stilled.
Oh. They were about to have the big talk. The one they’d been dancing around for years.
They stared at one another for a long moment and she glanced around the bar, to make sure they were alone. Then, she got closer to him and whispered in his ear. “Are you going to tell me you’re gay?”
Shep pulled away from her, looking flustered. “Holy fuck. I’m not! I mean, I just…how did you…when did you?” Then, he ran a hand through his hair. “Does anyone else know?”
“Not to my knowledge. Besides, I’m really observant.” She’d never seen him with a hellion, or a girl from town, for that matter.
“How’d you figure it out?”
She took a sip of coffee, thinking it over. “It’s somethin’ I suspected since you were a kid. It’s who you are, people are born one way or another.” Near as she could figure anyway. Not like she was an expert.
“We can keep this between us, right?”
“Oh, please, honey. It’s your business.” While the brothers were a pretty enlightened group, she didn’t know how they’d feel about a gay member. There would be a shitload of macho bullshit to wade through. “Cat out of the bag, then?”
He sighed. “I reckon.”
“Not so bad, is it?”
“Guess not.”
“So, how’s your love life?”
He snorted. “Don’t start with that shit. What love life? You mean me and my own fucking hand?” Shep glanced down at his own palm sadly.
That didn’t surprise her either. And after she put two and two together and figured out he was gay, she realized she hadn’t seen him with a guy either.
Well, except for Pretty Boy.
“Yeah, I’ve noticed a distinct lack of…um…well, back in my day, we said action. Can’t be easy to find guys here. Small town and all.”
Shep shook his head. “I’m not really interested in action, anyway.”
Back in the day, he’d wanted to be a member of the clergy. While he may have given up the dream, she didn’t exactly see him abandoning all his values and embracing man whorish ways.
“You can’t tell me you haven’t at least thought about it.” She grinned. “Maybe with Pretty Boy?”
His eyes got wide and he took a long, deep drink, draining the beer. “He’s a prospect and I’m the VP. I care about him,” he said hoarsely. “But it isn’t like that.”
Eddie bet it was exactly like that. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. You care about him, more than you let on. He isn’t only a prospect to you. Even if you haven’t told him, or made a move yet. Somethin’ is goin’ on.”
He cleared his throat and started playin’ with the bowl of peanuts in front of them. “Enough about me.”
“But, I’m on a roll!”
“Nope, time for a new topic.” He glanced at her slyly. “What about you and Captain?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him nothing was going on, but he’d opened up to her the tiniest bit. She wouldn’t leave him hanging, no matter how little she wanted to discuss it.
“We went on a date. Well, I think it was. He stayed at my place to protect me and brought me Chinese food. Does that count?”
“Hell, yes, it does! I knew it!” Shep said, slapping his palm against the bar. “Hot damn! It’s about time.”
She laughed. “Look at you, all smug.”
“I think you mean pleased. The kids are always glad when mom and dad get together. It’s way past time you moved on with your life.”
She couldn’t help but smile. In a way, she and Captain did fulfill parental roles for the group. And she loved every minute of it. As far as she was concerned, the brothers were all her boys. She cared about each and every one of them. Even Steele.
“And I like being right,” he said. “Hell, I even got some money ridin’ on this thing.”
Holy shit. “Tell me you guys didn’t place bets!”
He swirled around on the stool, making it spin completely around. “Yeah, there’s a pool going.”
“You bet on my private life?” Now, she wanted to wring all of their necks.
“Actually, on everyone’s private life. There’s one about Steele getting the clap by the end of the year. One about Axel.”
That made her perk up. “What about Axel?”
“That he’s going to end up an old maid.” Shep shrugged. “It’s the long bet.”
“Ain’t happenin’.” Eddie scowled.
Shep changed the topic. ”So, you’re gonna see him again?” he asked. “Inquiring minds want to know. So, come on. Spill it.”
“Yes, I’m going to see him again. He stayed over last night, too.”
“Oh really?” Sheps’s eyes danced and she could practically hear the innuendo in his voice.
“To protect me from Beauregard.”
“Well, I’m glad you used protection,” he teased.
Eddie slapped Shep’s arm and he laughed.
Damn. Now, that’s she’d had a taste of dating him, she couldn’t stop. She needed sort out her residual feelings for Joker, but she wanted to see where this relationship might lead.
It might be somewhere amazing.
“You won’t be dating on the down low then? You won’t be sneaking around, pretending he’s only acting as a bodyguard?”
“Nope, no sneaking.” She supposed if they were going to do this, it should be out in the open.
“Do you wish you’d done this sooner?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t ready before now, or it wasn’t the right time, but I lost a lot of years. And I’ll never get them back. You can’t make up for lost time. Trust me on this. Don’t let life pass you by.”
He took that in for a moment. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Please do.” Eddie hoped he’d make the leap and pursue Pretty Boy, especially if it would make him happy. He deserved to have love in his life. “And don’t think we’re done with this topic. This is only the beginning.”
He groaned. “Fuck. You aren’t gonna drop it, huh?”
“Nope.” She popped the ‘p’ for added emphasis.
Eddie kissed his cheek and then went back to her boring spreadsheets. But she wasn’t able to pay attention to them this time around, either. But now she didn’t feel quite so guilty about it.
Eddie had earned a little mooning time.
***
“Seriously, this is what you want to do during father/daughter time, Lex?” Captain asked warily. They’d just slid off his bike in front of Inferno Firearms. The sign featured guns surrounded by a circle of fire. The club owned the gun shop, along with the attached shooting range.
He’d spent time with Lex doing lots of things–movies and meals, the theater a few times, shopping trips, even a trip to a museum or two. But today, she’d surprised him with a request to go to the shooting range.
“Yeah, I want to learn to protect myself.” She grinned. “And then I want you to take me to Hades for a milkshake.”
Now, that sounded more like it. “Why don’t we skip the guns and go straight to the ice cream?”
“Not a chance!” she said firmly. “Weapons first…treats later.”
Milkshakes were a family tradition. When she’d been a kid, he used to make them for her in the blender, the strawberry kind. She’d stand on a chair and watch impatiently as he whirled the pink concoction together. They’d drink them together in frosted glasses, as they sat on the front porch swing together.
It seemed like a million years ago.
Since she’d moved to the area, they typically spent Sunday afternoons together since it worked for both of them. But today, was a midweek fluke, so he’d rearranged his schedule for her. She’d always been a priority in his life.
Scheduling time with her reminded him of visitation when she’d been a kid. He hadn’t been a weekend father, either. He used to have dinner with her once a week, called her every night, not to mention going to her choir concerts and plays in high school. And she spent most of her summer vacation with him. He loved being a father and hadn’t regretted one minute of it. Lex was a fucking great kid and he loved her to pieces.
Captain frowned. “In case you missed it, you got me. I’m all the security you need.” He could do a great terminator impression, especially if any guy had the nerve to ask her out.
“Yeah, but you aren’t always around, so I want to be prepared.”
Lexie had a funky hippie chick sort of vibe. She had long light brown hair, which hung in a thick braid down her back, big brown eyes, and a long-limbed frame. She wore a pair of black cat’s eye glasses, newsprint leggings, a black V-neck t-shirt, and black leather boots. He loved that she didn’t wear short skirts or loads of makeup. Hell, he could even do with a couple more layers on if she wanted.
“That mean you’re gonna buy a gun?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, but I want to know how to use one.”
“Good,” he said with a nod. “Because I was about to use the phrase over my dead body.”
“Dad!”
“You got pepper spray. You don’t need a gun.” He liked guns, usually carried one around with him, but he didn’t want Lex to live on the edge. She deserved a better life, one where she didn’t need a piece to feel safe.
“If I want to buy a gun, I will. I’m twenty-one and I can do what I want.”
He sighed at her mulish expression. Her lips had flattened into a tight, thin line and she made herself as tall as possible, staring him down. He’d seen that look enough to know her mind was made up. God, she had a serious stubborn streak.
Wonder where she got it from? Heh.
Sometimes, in his mind’s eye, he still saw her as that adorable six-year-old girl, who used to invite him to tea parties with her teddy bears. Why couldn’t she have stayed a baby forever? Back then, he had the power. He could protect her from anything. Now, he got to be a bystander, while she made her own decisions.
And it fucking sucked. Big time.
He sighed, gritting his teeth. “Fine.”
She laughed. “You don’t have to sound so happy about it.”
“Ain’t no use in pretendin,’ baby girl.”
They walked inside to find Steele standing at the counter. He managed the shop. Inferno was a paradise for a firearm enthusiast. Inside walnut cases, were weapons of every size and description from guns to knives. Even swords. Lexie trailed him as he approached his brother and the former Marine eyed her up and down like she was a tasty treat.
Damn, he should have locked her away once she hit puberty. Then, maybe leave her there until she turned thirty-five or so. Maybe not even then. He thought about that fairy tale he’d read her as a kid. Rapunzel’s witchy stepmother sounded really fucking reasonable.
“Put your eyes back in your head, Steele. She ain’t an option, so forget about it.”
“An option for what?” Lexie asked, as she leaned against the counter, and batted her eyelashes at his brother.
Captain knew she did it to annoy the fuck out of him and it was working. He felt like punching Steele right in the kisser.
“He’s lettin’ me know you’re off limits for datin’, and I say it’s a damn shame. You grew up real nice.” Again, Steele gave her a once over. Head to heels, he missed nothing.
More balls than brains. That’s Steele.
Captain leaned over the counter and grabbed Steele by the shirt, yanking him closer. “Look at her that way again, and I’ll make you clean the toilets at Perdition with your toothbrush.”
“Just admirin’ the view,” Steele drawled. “Can’t blame a man for noticing.”
“Wanna bet?” Captain asked.
Lexie sighed. “We’d like to go shooting at the range.”
“Sure thing, darlin’,” Steele said, pulling his t-shirt out of Captain’s tight grip. He grabbed two paper targets from beneath the counter. “You shootin’ your guns, Cap?” he asked.
“Yeah, the Glock and a .22.” The .22 was lightweight and easy to use. “We need some ammo though.”
As Steele pulled the ammo, Lexie stared at the targets doubtfully. They featured the dark silhouette of a man with a bull’s eye in the center of the chest. “Weird. What did the poor paper guy ever do to you?”
“You were the one who wanted to try a little target practice, if I recall.” The brothers practiced shooting a person’s silhouette to keep themselves sharp. “You thought there’d be bunnies on the targets or some such?”
She rolled her eyes at him and they scooped up the ammo, the targets, and the guns, and headed off to the range. Daisy, Cowboy’s old lady, usually worked there, but she was off today, so it was just the two of them. He placed them at the end of the line and affixed the targets.
Captain handed her the .22 and she aimed at her “paper guy”.
“Good. Line it up in your sites. Focus on it.” She did, adjusting the gun slightly. “Now, squeeze the trigger. Gently. Very gently. There’ll be a kickback.”
She did and the gun reared back in her grasp. “Oh my God! I did it.” She peered at the target. “Oh hell! I missed.”
Captain laughed. “It’s looks easy on television, but it’s hard as hell. You’re gonna have to practice a lot before you even hit the target. Let’s try some more.”
He didn’t take a turn shooting himself, until she’d gone through a couple more tries. He wanted to make sure she got the hang of it. And by the end of the practice, she’d managed to hit the outer edges of the paper. Not bad for a rookie.
Captain had put six rounds, straight through the center of the target.
As they packed up their stuff, he asked, “So, is everything good with your mom?” He made it a point to inquire about his ex-wife to be polite. They’d had a pretty cordia
l divorce. He didn’t have any bad feelings towards her. Carol was a good person and he was glad she’d found a new husband. She seemed happy.
She shrugged. “Yeah, she and Brad are going on a cruise this winter. To the Bahamas.”
Brad Tanner was accountant– boring as hell, but Carol was crazy about him. Captain and his ex were a mismatch from the beginning. She’d been going through a bad boy phase and she’d eventually gotten over it, which made him obsolete in her life. They’d only stayed together long enough to have Lexie.
She was the light of his life and there wasn’t a day that went by he didn’t thank God he’d married her mother, even if it had been a distraction from Eddie, a way of coping. Lex had been worth all the struggle.
He’d known it from the beginning, but he’d been a desperate man in love with a woman who wouldn’t even look at him. She’d decided to be faithful to her husband, even though he wouldn’t get paroled for twenty-five years. Ironically, it only made Captain love her more. Most women couldn’t have toughed it out. Eddie had been strong enough to raise her boys by herself as well as manage a business..
“And how are things going with you, baby girl?” he asked.
Lex was so far beyond him when it came to academics. He’d barely squeaked by in high school. Mostly because he’d rather spend his time on the water. He’d assumed he’d be a captain until he retired, so school seemed pretty damn pointless.
She shrugged. “Pretty good. I’m writing a paper for my advanced psych course right now.”
“What’s it on?” he asked.
Lex flashed a sly grin. “Deviant sexual behavior.”
“What the hell?” She loved to embarrass him and damn if it didn’t throw him off every time. No man liked to think of his little girl knowing a damn thing about sex. He blinked several times, doing a fuckin’ owl impression, before he switched topics. “Moving on. And what about the, err, rest of your life?”
She folded her arms across her chest. “Which life?”
He smiled at her. “Come on. Tell me about the boys.” He wanted to know if there were any little shits he needed to intimidate.
“There aren’t any boys,” she said stubbornly.
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