by Meg Lacey
He gave her a rueful grin. “I’m going to have my work cut out for me with you, aren’t I?”
She gave him a frank look. “Yes, you are. And I expect to enjoy every single minute of it.”
His hand shot out as if finalizing a tense business deal. “Want to shake on that?”
Nodding, she placed her palm against his for a brisk shake. “Done deal.”
Nicholas led Raven into the hallway, closing the exterior door behind him. “I don’t know about you, sweetheart, but after that walk I’m ready to relax on a warm beach.”
Raven smiled. “Oh, that sounds terrific, doesn’t it?”
He pulled her close for a minute, whispering, “Where we can be alone, so I can—”
“Ah, Nicholas,” J.R. said, coming up the hall toward him, waving a sheaf of papers. “Good news. I’ve got it all arranged. We just have to—”
Nicholas gave Raven a quick glance before darting back to J.R. “Uh, J.R., can we settle this later?”
“Settle what?” Raven asked.
“Nothing, darling,” Nicholas said, trying a smile as he steered her toward the stairs. “Why don’t we—”
“This will only take a minute.” Oblivious to everyone’s feelings, intent on his own concerns, J.R. flipped a page, pointing to a paragraph. “I had to revise—”
“Are the roads open yet?” Nicholas interrupted, after glancing at Raven’s curious and slightly suspicious face. This was not the time or place to make the big confession about his J.R. deal, he decided. He wanted her alone, preferably nude, when he did so.
“What?” J.R. looked up, seeming surprised to be derailed from his objective. “Oh. Yes, they are. So’s the airport.”
“Great,” Nicholas said with an enthusiastic clap. “Raven, why don’t you change out of those wet things and pack? I won’t be long.”
Raven glanced at them both. “Sure. I’ll do that.”
Nicholas walked over and bent to give her a small kiss, surreptitiously stuffing her bra, half of which was dangling down her hip, back into her jacket pocket as he did so. Watching her ascend the steps, only to turn at the top to blow him a kiss, he heaved a relieved sigh before turning back to J.R.
“What the hell is the matter with you?”
J.R. looked affronted. “What are you talking about? I thought you were anxious to get this business settled.”
“I am. But I’d prefer Raven doesn’t know until I’m ready.”
J.R. looked a bit sheepish, but tried to play it off. “I have to settle this matter before my banker leaves on vacation tomorrow.”
Nicholas glanced over his shoulder. No sign of Raven. “Then let’s go to the library and settle it.”
Chapter Ten
In the hallway upstairs, out of sight of the two men below, Raven listened. Something was up. She didn’t know what, but Nicholas had seemed uncomfortable and even guilty. Of what she had no idea, but she was going to find out. She’d accidentally overheard a private conversation in the library before, but this time—she’d eavesdrop on purpose.
Moving in the same stealthy manner she’d perfected as a child, Raven tiptoed down the hallway to the second-story loft overlooking the Exeter’s library. Easing the door open, she crept inside. She could just see Nicholas and J.R. below, standing by the desk on the far side of the lower level. She tucked herself back among the bookshelves and listened.
“First of all, good work, son,” J.R. said, clasping Nicholas’s shoulder. “When I first saw you, I knew you were the right man for the job.”
“Which job was that?” Nicholas asked, his tone dry as dust. “We discussed two of them.”
“Both, dammit. Getting rid of the woman, and this business deal.”
“The woman, as you call her, is my fiancé.”
“Your fiancé?” J.R. laughed. “My God, you’re good. I wouldn’t have thought you’d try the fiancé angle. I thought you’d just haul her away.”
“Like a sack of discarded trash?” Raven winced at Nicholas’s biting comment, trying not to let it hurt.
“You’re really something, son.” J.R. smiled. “You keep your eyes straight ahead on the road. Nothing gets in your way, does it?” Raven strained to hear his response. It sounded like “something did” but she wasn’t sure.
“I admire that, Nicholas,” J.R. continued, “I truly do. Reminds me of me when I was your age.”
Nothing gets in your way.
Raven closed her eyes. The words echoed in her memories, reminding her of the boy he’d been, the man he’d become and the success he’d made of himself. Single-minded focus? Yes, J.R. was right. That was Nicholas. Why had she thought anything else? Why had she thought he’d changed, thought he loved her? Words were easy to say. Nicholas was, and could be, a consummate actor when it was necessary. To her everlasting cost, she’d forgotten that too. Their voices continued to wash over her.
“I’ve already signed this contract, but I want you to review this section,” J.R. continued, pointing at the paper he’d spread on his desk. “If you’re okay with it, initial and sign it.”
Raven opened her eyes. Nicholas had picked up the paper to read, before nodding and reaching for a pen. A satisfied J.R. bent to fold the papers into an envelope before handing them to Nicholas. “Signed, sealed and delivered. I’m looking forward to doing business with you and Darcy Kristof. It should be a hell of a partnership. We’re going to make a lot of money, son.”
“Yeah, mission accomplished,” Nicholas said as J.R. shook his hand. “Well, I’d better collect Raven and take off.”
She swallowed a bitter smile. Collect Raven. As if I’m a parcel set on the front porch for FedEx?
Letting her temper lead, knowing the pain would come later; she stepped to the railing and looked down. Her voice rang out strong and fierce. “I don’t think so.”
Nicholas whirled and looked up, gasping, “Raven.”
Raven looked down into his stunned expression. “I guess that old saying, ‘eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves’ is true. Isn’t it, Nicholas?”
Nicholas stepped forward. “I can explain this.”
“No need.” She pretended to smile, plastering a devil-may-care veneer over her emotions. “I know I’ve been pretty slow on the uptake, but I’ve got the gist of the situation now. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.”
J.R. left the room as Nicholas started for the spiral stairs that accessed the loft. “Raven, let me…”
“Oh, I did, darling. Don’t you remember?” She swallowed the sob that was trying to escape before steeling her voice again. “I have to admit, you really threw yourself into your work.”
Moving fast, he wound his way up the stairs. “Don’t talk like that.”
“Oh, but I’m so impressed at your commitment to getting the job done to your satisfaction.”
He’d gained the top of the platform and was stepping onto the floor of the loft. “I know I should have told you about this deal. I was trying to when we—”
“Were so overcome with passion that you couldn’t? Isn’t that the way this scene usually goes?” She stepped away from the railing as he moved toward her. “I mean, that’s the way I generally played it, darling, when I was trying to avoid telling the truth to one of my lovers.”
He gritted his teeth. “I don’t want to talk about your former lovers.”
“Neither do I, darling. The past is such a bore. I’d much rather think of the future ones.”
“There are no future ones. There’s only one.”
“You can stop pretending now, Nicholas. The play’s over. You were a hit. The action engaged the emotions, and the audience swallowed every bit of it.” She blinked hard and worked on a light smile. “But now, Elvis has left the building, and this little ole gullible gal is ready to take off too.”
“Good idea,” he said, grabbing her elbow to lead her across the loft to the door. “We can talk about this—”
She jerked away. “I don’t want to talk to you
again. Ever.”
“Raven,” he said, trying to take her hand, “I love you.”
Raven stared at him for a moment then applauded. “Oh, well done.”
“I mean it. I really love you.”
She placed her hand over her heart. “I heard you and I’m touched. What a shame I don’t believe it.”
“You have to believe it. It’s true.”
She turned away from him and indicated the room below, referring to the scene that had just taken place. “The facts indicate otherwise.”
He grabbed her arms to force her to face him. “Look, Darcy was depending on me to close this deal. J.R. was going to pull out because of your relationship with his son. He dropped that bomb when I met with him a few days ago. There is no time to find another investor. We needed J.R., so I agreed to come up here and rescue—”
She twisted away from him. “Rescue?”
Nicholas flushed under her flashing glare, but recovered to send her a little smile, which infuriated her even more. “Let’s face facts, sweetheart, the thought of you in the Exeter family is rather like a peacock squatting in the middle of brown field mice. As J.R. pointed out, someone had to do something.”
“And you were elected. Sacrificed on the altar of commerce. How noble of you.”
Nicholas’s temper started to show “You were using me, too, so there’s no need to get all self-righteous.”
“You’re right, I was. But there’s a difference.”
“What difference?”
“You knew about it. I didn’t.”
“Christ, Raven. If I’d told you, you would have done the exact opposite.”
“I would not.”
“You would and you know it.”
“If you’d told me the truth, I wouldn’t have risked my heart. I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.”
“Yes, you would.”
“Will you stop that? You aren’t Mr. Control. You can’t make everything happen your way just because you decide it should. I’m a person. I have feelings. They matter.” She pointed at her chest, the tears she was keeping inside rising to reveal themselves. “I matter.”
“I know that, sweetheart,” he said, his voice softening. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’ve only just discovered how much. Believe me, you matter, Raven.”
“I thought I did.”
“You do. Trust me, sweetheart. Please trust me.”
“I did,” she whispered.
Tears trickling down her cheeks, she walked past him and out the door.
Raven walked to her room, her heels dragging as if she had walked the face of the earth since the beginning of time. How had it all gone so wrong? She struggled to make her brain work. Nicholas was right about one thing—she was using him. At least, it started out that way. She’d used him because he’d offered a way out of an uncomfortable situation. So why should she be so devastated that he’d done the same? Do I have any right to take the high moral ground, when I’m wallowing in the muck with him?
Yes, but this was different, she told herself. He knew. She didn’t. It all came down to that. What was a relationship if there was no trust?
She sat on the bed, forcing herself to be honest. Not a strong family trait, she thought, considering what she’d just learned about her father’s activities. So she couldn’t blame Nicholas for his actions there. Oh, she’d like to, but knew he was doing the right thing for her father and her family in the long run. But she could blame him for his actions regarding this situation.
Sniffing, miserable, her eyes pumping tears like a fountain, she looked across the room at her reflection in the dressing-table mirror.
“What do you think? Would it have mattered if I’d really known? Would I have been more careful?”
As the mirror-lady shook her head, Raven agreed. “You’re right. I would’ve still tumbled into love with him.”
Using the heels of her hands, she wiped her tears and turned away from her image to sprawl across the bed. “Now what?” she wondered, as she stared up at the canopy.
Now you pack, she answered herself. You do what you always do. You leave. But this time, you won’t run away. You’ll go home to deal with your father. Then you’ll take some time to see what you want. And if you want Nicholas—
At the tentative knock on her door, she sat up and narrowed her eyes at the helpless piece of paneled wood.
“Go away, Nicholas. I’m not speaking with you.”
“It isn’t Nicholas.”
“Jackson?”
“May I come in for a minute?”
Raven shoved her hair back, rubbed at her face again and then stood up. “Um… sure, I’m coming.”
Walking over to the door, she took a quick peek in the mirror and almost groaned. She looked like she’d been squeezed through a wringer-washer. But it couldn’t be helped. She needed to speak with Jackson, anyway, so she might as well do it now.
She took a deep breath and opened the door. “Hi.”
“Hello.”
They stood and stared at each other, both rather uncomfortable.
“May I come in?” Jackson finally asked.
She indicated the hall. “Um, why don’t we go—”
“I just want to talk.” He gave her a charming smile and crossed his heart as a pledge. “Honest.”
“Okay.” She smiled and opened the door for him to step through. “Would you like to sit down?”
She followed his gaze as he looked around for his options, which consisted of the slipper chair, the dressing stool and the bed. The last had him flushing and rocking back on his heels. “I’ll stand.”
Raven nodded again. “Me too.”
Jackson laughed. “God, this is hard. I feel like I’m in front of the congregation and have just forgotten my Bible lesson.”
Raven laughed with him. “I can relate. Oh, except for the Bible and the congregation part. I mean about feeling—”
Jackson placed his hand over hers. “I know.”
She fell silent, her recent unhappiness rushing over her.
“Raven, I’m sorry.”
“For what? I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
“I have a confession to make.”
Raven sighed. “It seems to be the day for it.”
“When I brought you up here, I wasn’t sure where we would go. I mean, we’d had fun, and God knows I’ve wanted you ever since I first saw you two years ago.”
“You saw me two years ago? I didn’t know that.”
“It was at a party in Washington. You were there with an older woman. She might have been a relative, I guess.”
“I don’t remember that.”
“You walked into the room and my heart stopped.”
“Jackson, don’t—”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going where you think I’m going.”
“All right.”
“I had to leave that night without scoring an introduction. When we met a few months ago, while you were on vacation in Florida, all that feeling came rushing back. We saw each other a few times and had fun. We talked, laughed, and I could be myself. Or the self I thought I wanted to be. But I had to leave on business before seeing if we could…” He stepped farther away from her, silent for a moment before turning to look her straight in the eye. “When I saw you again in Colorado, I thought, why not take a risk? I wanted to see if you could really fit into my world or if I was fooling myself. I got on your father’s good side and he helped push you in my direction.”
“I’m not sure I was worth all that trouble. I don’t have a history of long-lived relationships.” She blinked hard to keep her most recent relationship with Nicholas from overwhelming her. She refused to cry over another man in front of Jackson.
Stepping closer, he said, “You’re wrong, Raven. You’re worth it.”
Looking up at his serious face, she stroked his cheek and smiled again. “Thank you. I needed that.”
“But,” his voice gentled, “not for me.
I know that now.”
“Ah, I see.”
“I was pushing you to marry me for the wrong reasons, Raven. And you deserve so much more than that.”
Raven stared at him for a moment, at this man she’d thought she knew, whom she’d treated with such a cavalier attitude. She glanced away, inhaling, trying to keep her emotions in check long enough to speak.
“You deserve more too.”
He gave her a rueful grin. “I’m working on it.”
She surprised herself by grinning back. “Does that mean you’ve finally realized your father was right about Lorianne?”
Jackson groaned. “I hate to admit it because he’ll never let me forget it, but yes, I think he was right all along.”
“He does seem the type to rub it in,” she said in a careful tone.
“Story of my life.” Jackson shrugged. “But this time I can deal with it.”
“That’s great, Jackson. I’m happy for you.”
“What about you? Any news you want to share?”
“No.”
“Come on, give,” he teased, giving her a friendly little shake. “Something tells me you and Nicholas aren’t just a ‘convenient engagement’. The heat you two generate almost blew me out of the room every time you were together.”
Raven was silent for a moment. “There’s heat and there’s heat.”
“Meaning?”
“It can flame out. Some things last and some don’t.”
Jackson stared at her. “I thought—”
“You thought wrong. Nicholas and I are very good at playing games.”
“Games,” Jackson said, his tone indicating he wasn’t buying it, but was willing to let it go.
“Jackson, can you give me a ride to the airport? Your father said it’s open.”
“Yes, of course.”
“Now?”
“Now?” he asked, surprised. “Um, sure.”
“I’ll pack and meet you downstairs in five minutes.”
He turned to leave. “I’ll get the car warmed up.”
Raven stopped him with a hand on his arm. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for not asking any questions. Lorianne is a very lucky woman.”
He stared at her. “And Nicholas is a very unlucky man.”