Simon
After a somewhat quiet and awkward dinner, where my parents avoided any topic that might somehow be tied back to the D.C. trip I wouldn’t be going on, I retreated to my room to sulk in private. Even when I offered to do the dishes, Sam stepped in and did them for me. That’s how I knew I was truly pathetic, if she didn’t jump on the chance to torment me.
Not even rewatching old episodes of Cowboy Bebop could pull me out of my funk, but I kept it playing in the background as I opened the RA application essay on my laptop. I had a weak intro, or the start of one, at least.
My phone pinged from its spot on my bed, and I quickly jumped to get it. There was only one person who texted me.
Lucy: I think I have an idea to get you that $200.
I stared at the message. Was I supposed to be excited about this? Because at the moment, I felt mostly nervous and a little pride-hurt that she thought she needed to find money for me. Again.
Simon: Is it legal?
Lucy didn’t seem like the type to knock over a Circle K, but with that group of friends of hers, anything was possible. Which was terrifying.
But not as terrifying as her next text.
Lucy: How would you feel about modeling for a calendar?
Simon: …
Lucy: It’s for a great cause.
Simon: I honestly don’t know if I want more information.
Lucy: Just picture...twelve months of the boys swim team. It’ll sell like hot cakes.
Simon: You seriously think people will buy that??
Lucy: Simon. EVERYONE will buy it.
My phone rested in my hand as my mind wrestled with the idea of the guys on the team posted on a calendar being sold around school. I mean, there was no doubt they would do it—they never had their fill of attention, but was I ready to be a part of this? And would it work?
My phone buzzed again.
Lucy: There’s eleven guys on the team, right?
Simon: Yeah
Dread crept up spine as I did the math. I was one of those eleven swimmers. Me. Lucy was actually thinking that I would pose for these calendar photos, and I felt sick.
Gray was the swimsuit model type. Even Freddy and the rest of the guys could pull off the eye candy look to be featured on a monthly spread. I did not. I had a row of Star Wars bobbleheads lining my shelves and watched anime regularly. No one was buying a calendar with my picture on it.
Lucy: Great. If we get everyone, we can do a group photo for December.
Lucy: Nora says we can print them with the yearbook equipment.
Lucy: We’re thinking you guys could do a theme photo for each month.
Lucy: The photos don’t need to be sexy or anything. The girls are going to love them no matter what.
The speed at which Lucy was firing off ideas almost sent my phone vibrating out of my hand. She seemed really excited about this, and even though the thought of someone photographing me in my swim uniform nearly set my nerves on fire, I couldn’t help but smile. Her excitement was infectious.
Simon: What the hell…I’m in.
Lucy: Really?!
Simon: Yes, really.
Lucy: You’re totally going on that D.C. trip.
I smiled down at my phone, and not because what she said was probably right but because the next three weeks were likely to be the craziest of my entire life. Not only did she have to convince the entire swim team to show up for this photoshoot, but we also had to format the calendars, have them printed, then sell and distribute them.
It wasn’t going to be easy, but if anyone could do it, she could.
Lucy: Gray just texted me. The rest of the guys are in.
Chapter Fourteen
Lucy
It took all of about five seconds to get the boys swim team to agree to a calendar photoshoot. They didn’t even ask why they were raising money for Key Club and not the swim team. Maybe they knew that having their picture up in every girl's room for a month was going to catapult their dating appeal.
I hadn’t really thought about that when Addy first pitched the idea. Right now, the fact that I thought Simon was sexy was a well-kept secret. Once the whole school caught sight of him in swim trunks...I didn’t want to think about the competition. Maybe I could push for his month to feature a shirt. Who was I kidding? Even with a shirt, he was going to be nerdy hot. Those Buddy Holly glasses were doing things to my brain and heart that made it difficult to focus on a normal day. Nevermind with killer lighting while he was actually trying to be sexy.
We shot the group photo first. It was the easiest because all it required was the guys to stand in the pool with their arms resting on the deck and little Santa hats to indicate it was December. Nora was the best photographer in our group, so she was responsible for posing the guys and getting them all to look at the camera at the same time. I tried not to be jealous as I watched her reposition bicep after bicep all morning.
Addy, Nora and I, plus Gray and Simon, had all agreed that in order to make it a clear Key Club fundraiser, the months had to feature local volunteer opportunities. Simon wanted everyone fully clothed, but I reminded him that the altruistic aspect was how we sold calendars to family members; the sex appeal was how we sold to our classmates, and we needed to sell to more than just grandparents of the swim team.
“So,” said Gray, standing in front of the fall set for the drama club’s production of The Secret Garden. “I’ll be pretending to catch butterflies in swim trunks with a safari hat on?”
Addy giggled behind him.
“That’s the basic concept,” said Nora, trying unsuccessfully to keep a snort from popping out. I wondered if she, like me, was thinking that Gray’s picture was likely to get more than one month of exposure over at Hailey’s house. Maybe her love for butterfly collecting would steer her in Gray’s direction instead of Simon’s.
“I don’t really get it,” said Gray.
“Your best stroke is the butterfly,” said Addy, “and the Minnesota Zoo has the big butterfly exhibit coming up. They’re always looking for volunteers at the zoo.”
“This feels like a stretch,” said Gray, popping a kiss on Addy’s forehead. “But I’m willing to participate to help Simon.”
“Great,” said Nora. “Now stop talking and start posing.”
Gray shook his head, but he did as he was told, extending the long handle of the butterfly net out over an artificial hedge, all the while flexing his record breaking abs.
Simon raised one eyebrow. “Right, all that’s in this for you is my trip to D.C..”
Gray smirked, trying hard not to compromise his pose. “I’m a giving guy.”
Not all of the photoshoots went as well as Gray’s. Freddy, it turned out, only projected confidence when he was bossing people around. On camera, he came off looking constipated. So much so, that in the end Nora had him do a profile only shot.
When it was time for Simon’s photo, I found myself oddly nervous. It wasn’t like I had never seen him in trunks before. I’d been to every home meet this year to support Addy. But it was different now that we were spending so much time together. I felt guilty letting my eyes stray from the hawk puppet in his hand to the interwoven threads of muscle that travelled up his arm and connected with his bare shoulders.
With his extensive background in volunteer work, I thought he might pick one of the other months to be featured. The soup kitchen set-up or maybe the animal shelter, but right away he gravitated to the Wildlife Refuge. It was silly, but I could already imagine his picture hanging in my dorm room next year—a photographic reminder of all the hours we spent together at the refuge. Maybe my roommate would ask how we knew each other. I hoped the answer would be present tense and not just, a guy I knew from high school.
We didn’t have access to a full-on theatre set the way we had with Gray, so Simon’s photo had to be taken in the biology lab where we could play up the rehabilitation aspect of the refuge. At the moment, however, the only thing that needed rehabilitation was my thoughts.
/> I was trying to focus on the photo concept, but I kept getting distracted by Simon’s dimples. Had they always been so prominent? How was it possible that I had spent year after year walking past Simon, sitting behind him in class, watching him swim his way to victory in the pool, and until today, I never realized he was so attractive? It wasn’t like he’d had some grand scheme makeover, like Addy this fall. He was just himself, the way he had always been, yet everything about the way I felt had changed.
“We are gonna sell a lot of calendars,” whispered Nora as she clicked and shuttered her way through Simon’s shoot.
Simon
The Biology lab was freezing, and I was standing there in nothing but my swim trunks, not the skin tight ones, thank the good lord for that. Still, I had never been more uncomfortable in my life, in the middle of the school, half-naked. Everything about it felt unnatural.
I was posed in front of a makeshift nest next to a tree-like background. The Owl Lady was nice enough to let us borrow the hawk puppet. Either that or Lucy stole it.
Nora kept posing me, which required a lot of touching that I wasn’t really ready for. From across the room, I could feel Lucy watching, and it was clear she wasn’t happy with the way the shoot was going.
Her bottom lip was pinched between her teeth as she seemed to scrutinize everything Nora did. “Why is he hiding behind the desk? He should be in front of it.”
I strictly stayed out of the decision making and did whatever Nora told me to do, but I could hear her sigh as she followed Lucy’s orders.
But even in front of the desk, it felt weird. I was starting to get nervous that it wasn’t the posing but me that was disappointing her.
“Lucy…” I said, ready to argue my way out of this, but she held up her hand to stop me. She seemed to know exactly what I was going to say.
“You’re not getting out of this, Simon. You look great, now start acting like it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She huffed in the dark corner of the room but didn’t say anything. Nora peered over her shoulder and saw Lucy looking obviously agitated. “Hey, Luce. Will you go grab my long lens? It’s back in the yearbook room.”
“Why do you need that? You plan on getting a full zoom pic of his—”
“Just go get it!” Nora barked so loud it made me jump.
Once she was out of the room and had let the door shut behind her, I relaxed. “What has gotten into her?” I asked. I’d never seen Lucy so frustrated.
“She wants this to be perfect,” Nora answered, adjusting the props again.
“The calendar?”
“Your photo,” she answered flatly.
My mouth formed the word, “oh,” but I couldn’t respond. What would I say to that? I waited for her to explain, but she didn’t.
Instead, she stood face-to-face with me and said, “Look, Simon. Lucy is too embarrassed to tell you this, so I will. You’re a stone cold hottie.”
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head. But that didn’t stop her from continuing.
“You have a complexion my camera devours and biceps for days. I’m assuming she wants your profile because your dimples will knock them all dead, and one look at this photo will have every girl in Delinki banging down the door to that owl sanctuary. I know you think you’re different or that because you like math more than football then you’re not as hot as them, but I think there are a lot of girls who would like you more for it.”
Her eyes glanced toward the door, but my mind was racing too much to make any sense of it.
Turning back to me, she jabbed me in the shoulder. “All that’s missing is your confidence, so stop thinking that you’re not as good as the other guys, and go for it.”
“But—”
She pressed her fingers up to my lips. “No buts.”
I stayed quiet as we waited for Lucy to come back, and I had a minute to digest Nora’s words. Lucy was too embarrassed to tell me I was hot? No. No way. Lucy was into jocks and blondies, not guys like me. Nora was making a generalization, for sure.
A moment later, Lucy came back lugging the heavy lens in its carrying case.
“Just put it on that table,” Nora said before she turned back to me. “Okay, Mr. January. You’re the last shot of the day. Let’s get this over with.”
This time, when I held my hand over the nest, I took Nora’s words to heart and straightened my shoulders and flexed my arms. I even let out a small smile that I knew would make my cheeks dimple in the way I had always hated growing up.
“Can we turn him more?” Lucy whispered after Nora flashed a couple photos.
“If you know what you want, why don’t you do it?” she said, stepping away from me.
Lucy marched over and stood a foot in front of me, staring at the scenery around me like an artist at work. “We need it to look like you’re being nurturing. So maybe you should turn toward the nest.”
She laid her hands on my shoulders and started to turn my body so that I was facing the table, leaving my rear end for the camera. Then her hand moved my puppet up and turned my head to the side, but just as her hands brushed my cheek, I froze.
“It...uh, looks better like this. We can still see you and your…?
“Butt?” Nora chimed in from behind Lucy, and my cheeks nearly caught on fire.
“Smile!” Lucy corrected her, but I could see her cheeks redden too.
The three of us couldn’t stop our laughter as Nora continued snapping pics. After she called it, I turned back toward the girls. Nora was packing up her camera while Lucy stared at me, still smiling and still biting her lip between her teeth.
Chapter Fifteen
Lucy
We needed to sell twenty calendars to fund Simon’s portion of the D.C. trip deposit. When we had received the 200th order, Nora begged us to stop.
“Closed! The calendar is closed for business! Come again next season,” she cried, shoving the door to the yearbook room shut behind her.
“That was insane,” said Gray. “How is it possible that two hundred people want the boys swim team hanging in their home?”
“One hundred and ninety people,” smirked Nora.
“I thought we had two hundred orders,” said Simon, counting the money. We’d forced him to be calendar treasurer since he was the one who needed the money in the first place.
“Oh, we did,” said Nora. “But seeing as how Addy and Lucy each bought five…”
I reached over and plunged my fist into the fleshy part of Nora’s arm. It was a no-holds-barred punch, and she deserved it.
“Dang!” she cried, rubbing her shoulder, though she didn’t dare dispute the punch. Of the three of us she was the worst at keeping a secret and she knew it.
“I’m not ashamed of my purchase,” said Addy, the month of April open in front of her like a centerfold to a much dirtier publication. “Gray’s abs will adorn my locker, my bedroom, the spot beside the dartboard in my den, pretty much anywhere with an eight-by-sixteen opening.”
“You’re kind of a perv,” said Gray.
“Only for you, muffin,” answered Addy with a wink.
I did not want to answer any questions about where my five calendars would go so I quickly turned to Simon and changed the subject.
“At ten dollars a piece, we made two thousand dollars. After we take out your deposit money, and the couple hundred we owe the school for printing, what are we going to do with the rest of it?”
Simon looked a little nervous. “I’ve been thinking about that. There isn’t really any need for the Key Club to have that money. We raised enough for the rest of our travel with the aluminum can fund earlier this year.”
“I’d suggest swim team,” said Gray “But it isn’t like the athletic program is struggling here.”
“I’ve got an idea,” said Nora as she grabbed another calendar off the yearbook printer. “What if we split the remainder between the charities featured in the calendar? You know like, a hundred bu
cks to the refuge, a hundred bucks to the soup kitchen. That sort of thing.”
“I think that is a great idea,” said Addy, smiling at Nora.
“Great enough to make up for the Three Stooges?”
“Not a chance!” I replied, pulling up a recent Instagram post of myself in a bald cap. It had been years since Nora’s infamous idea to have the three of go as the Three Stooges for Halloween, yet people still thought it was funny to recirculate the pictures.
“So long as these exist, no idea you ever have will ever make up for the Three Stooges.”
“Fine,” growled Nora, grabbing the phone from my hand. “But in my defense half of these reposts are from Max.”
I shook my head. “Still me in a bald cap. Still unforgivable.”
“You know,” said Simon. “It is a little hard to feel sorry for you guys. You are in a bald cap, Lucy, and Nora does have rainbow colored braces on—”
“Hey!” cried Nora.
“But,” continued Simon, “thanks to you guys, Gray and I are about to be topless in 190 Delinki homes.”
“He makes a valid point,” said Gray, hopping off the desk he was perched on. “If Speedo doesn’t officially sponsor my tuition next year, I am going to feel very objectified.”
“Gee,” said Addy, wrapping her hand in Gray’s. “It must be hard to be a guy. Always wondering if people only talk to you because they want your hot body. Never really knowing if they value your personality…”
“Alright,” said Gray, “I can see this conversation is quickly headed to nowhere. Addy and I are going out for some much needed, not-with-you-guys time. But let us know if you need any help distributing the calendars.”
“Will do,” said Nora, grabbing the last stack of printouts. “I’ve got to head out as well.”
I probably should have followed her out. There was nothing left for me to do in the yearbook room, but there was this tiny bit of hope sitting on my chest, like if I didn’t leave, and Simon didn’t leave, maybe we’d leave together? I waited for the door to click shut before I raised my eyes to his.
Nerdy by New Year Page 9