“I don’t just mean the trip, Simon. I mean...hanging out with you has been good for me. I had a goal this year to finally do something that mattered. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Her eyes found mine for a moment, and something between us felt different. Like we were different, not the same people we were in Minnesota. She wasn’t the popular girl who felt out of my league, and I wasn’t the friend without the guts to tell her how I felt.
Before I could back out or she could turn her face away, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. I felt stiff and awkward at first, but within the next breath, it was like we melted together. Scooping her by the waist with one hand, I pulled her closer, letting my other hand bury itself into her long curtain of hair. She immediately relaxed into my arms, her hands against my chest.
As I kissed her, a thought occurred to me. After all of those moments in my life that could have ended with me having my first kiss with someone else, I emphatically believed that it was always meant to be with her. This kiss. Even after all the heartache, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
We stayed that way for a long time, lip-locked and breathless. Lucy kissed me back with a little more eagerness than I expected. All of those little tests I did to assess if she was into me or not did not prepare me for that. I think we could have stood there in the silhouette of the night sky kissing until the new year when a door slammed shut in the distance that made us both jump.
We laughed silently, both of us high on this new intimacy and the threshold we’d crossed. If I ever got back to sleep that night, I would have woken up thinking it all had to be a dream.
She moved away from the window and pulled me silently to the loveseat. We plopped down on the overstuffed sofa that felt like heaven when we melted into it. Propping my feet up on the heavy coffee table, I opened my arms for Lucy to lean against me. With her legs folded up beneath her, she cuddled closer, resting her head on my chest.
Feeling her warmth in my arms reminded of that day I watched Addy and Gray with envy. I wanted this. This exact feeling right here, and even though our new relationship was still undefined, I didn’t care. The way things were right at that moment were perfect.
“You know you need to be an RA, right, Simon? You’re a good role model,” she said before breaking out in a yawn.
“I know,” I answered.
“Then send in your essay. What are you waiting for?”
“I’m not sure. I can’t tell if it’s as moving as I think it is.”
“Well, let me read it and I’ll tell you.”
I swallowed. That essay was the most vulnerable thing I’d ever written, outside of the fan-fiction of course. And that ended pretty badly too...in the hands of Lucy. Which I hated myself for thinking, but I thought it anyway. I couldn’t help it.
My sister asked if I trusted her, and I couldn’t answer then. But I could answer now; I did trust Lucy, wholeheartedly. Without a doubt. And even though I swore to myself that she would never read that essay, it was time for me to put that trust to the test.
“Okay. I’ll let you read it.”
“Really?” she asked, lifting her head to look at me.
“Yeah. Really. I’ll email it to you tomorrow morning.”
She beamed a smile at me, then rested her head back on my chest. We didn’t say another word as we both watched the city move until we both drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Nineteen
Lucy
Tabitha raised her hand to cover her mouth in an exaggerated yawn. “I am exhausted. I mean, not the kind of exhausted you are but…”
I waggled my eyebrows at her and pulled my hair up into a ponytail. Rooming with her had been fun so far. She was unobtrusive and spent most of her time scrolling on her phone. But I wasn’t about to give her the juicy details of last night’s lobby encounter. I was reserving that first telling for Addy and Nora who had already texted me roughly 65 times to find out how the trip was going.
When my phone buzzed, I assumed it was another of those texts, but my heart skipped a beat when I saw Simon’s email pop into my inbox.
Subject: Essay as promised
From: Clark Kent.
I smiled to myself, it was so very nerdy and Simon-like to set up an email address under the name of a comic book character.
I told myself I wasn’t going to read his essay on the trip. That if I didn’t like it, if he said something awkward, embarrassing maybe, like the love trio in his Harry Potter fan-fic, I wouldn’t be able to hide my reaction. Therefore, it was better to not have read it at all and react at home where I had time to compose myself. But, curiosity got the better of me and I tapped open before I could stop myself.
If it wasn’t for what she did, the long years of hurt and embarrassment, I would have never discovered all that I am capable of. Two years ago I would have told you her betrayal was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Today, I know that to be wrong. The worst thing that ever happened to me, was living so wholly in my comfort zone that I never challenged myself to be more.
I read the essay over and over again, dissecting the parts that were about me from those about him. Our past and present weaved together seamlessly over the course of his 500 words.
All this time I had felt awful about what I did, and in the end it was what prompted Simon to become the guy I couldn’t get enough of.
And apparently, I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. He hadn’t written that essay last night after we kissed. He’d been writing it for weeks. I wondered how long he’d felt about me the way I felt about him. Could I ask him that now? Did one kiss mean we didn’t have to keep things from one another anymore?
His lips felt right pressed up against mine. I had kissed other boys. Seven if we were counting. But not one other kiss, not Trevor on his best day, had ever felt like that.
I was itching to do it again. I just had to suffer through the riverboat tour and I’d be home free. No one could judge us for kissing during a New Year’s Eve rooftop fireworks show. That was practically the whole reason to throw that kind of party.
“I hate to interrupt your sleep-deprived scrolling, but we’ve got like fifteen minutes before continental breakfast is over. I don’t want to fight Hailey over the waffle machine this morning,” pleaded Tabitha.
“Got it,” I replied, shoving my phone into my messenger bag and following her out of the hotel room. Across the hall Simon and Daniel were exiting their room as well. Today, there was no sign of the legislative tour getup from yesterday. Today, he looked like he rolled out of bed, threw on his Delinki High Swim pants and forgot what a comb was.
I drank him in. Simon was approximately twice as hot disheveled. I shook my head. It was hopeless. I was officially going to learn nothing on this trip, unless you counted the curve of his nose and the taste of his lips. Both things I didn’t mind studying a little harder.
Simon placed his hand on the small of my back as we rode the elevator down to the breakfast room. That one kiss had given him years worth of confidence. Before this trip, I wouldn’t have thought him capable of making a move at all. Yet here he was, wrapping his arm around my waist in the cereal line, knocking his knees against mine under the table.
Midnight couldn’t come fast enough.
Simon
Daniel was nice enough to wake me up that morning before his mom could find us breaking the strict no-spooning-in-D.C. rule. We had slept for hours, piled onto that tiny couch, and I really didn’t want to move.
How had we gotten here? And I didn’t mean on the couch. Three months ago, I couldn’t even look her in the eye. Then suddenly, she was at my swim meets, and I was at her lunch table, and all the doors opened, and all we had to do was step through.
I couldn’t help but wonder if we would have ever gotten to this place if our relationship hadn’t been demolished two years ago. Maybe we would have gotten here sooner—or maybe never at all.
Our itinerary included another busy day in the city. Most of
the day would be spent outside, so we bundled in layers. Lucy had a snug blue beanie pulled over her hair.
After breakfast, I walked up to her, and I noticed we were the only two from the group in the lobby. It was like we both rushed through our breakfast to get away from the crowd and be alone.
She was grinning ear to ear as I stepped up to take her hand. I wasn’t nervous around her anymore. In fact, I didn’t feel nervous about anything anymore, like Lucy’s kisses were some kind of superpower, and I was a newer, better version of myself. Simon2.0.
Before I could even make a move, she yanked me toward the exit and into the corner between the interior door and exterior door where they stored the luggage carts. Stepping up onto her toes, she pulled me into a kiss like it was air and she would die without it, and I could relate.
The exterior door kept opening blasting us with bursts of cold air, much needed with all the heat we were creating. By the time the rest of the group started filing into the lobby, Lucy and I were both beaming. If the rest of the day was made up of stolen kisses in quiet corners, then it was going to be a very, very good day.
It was pretty clear to everyone else that we weren’t just friends anymore, especially Hailey who kept bugging me about our daily itinerary. When I gave her a lazy shrug and told her I didn’t really care about the itinerary anymore, she scowled at me and mumbled something under her breath about being a typical guy. I laughed at her as I draped my arm around my new girlfriend. If this was being a typical guy, then I was all in.
Luckily for us, the river cruise was freezing, so it made sense to be bundled together against the railing. Of course, nearly everyone else just stayed inside the warm viewing area, but that wasn’t nearly as fun as having Lucy wrapped up in my arms.
“I read your essay,” she mumbled against the scarf covering her lips and nose.
“It’s super cheesy, isn’t it?”
“No. It’s perfect. If they don’t pick you, they’re crazy.”
“You’re just saying that,” I whispered against the side of her head.
“No, I’m not.” She turned to face me. We were supposed to be paying attention to the audio tour being narrated into the headphones we weren’t wearing. We weren’t even standing on the right side of the boat anymore. We found a secluded area on the balcony where we didn’t feel like we were on display to the rest of the group.
“I’m being serious, Simon,” she continued. “You’re so much better than you give yourself credit for, and I don’t want to be the reason you don’t go for what you should…”
I tilted her chin up to face me. “What are you talking about?”
“When I read your essay, I realized…never mind. I don’t want to ruin this moment.”
“As long as you don’t leave this spot—this freezing cold spot, then you couldn’t possibly ruin anything. What were you going to say?”
I had a nagging suspicion that Lucy was beating herself up a little more than she should have.
She chewed on her inner lip, obviously deep in thought. “You accomplished so much after the last time we split, and I was afraid you were better without—”
“Don’t you dare say it. Don’t even think that,” I leveled my eyes with hers. There was no way I would let her think I was better without her. Everything I had accomplished was because of her.
“I would have never let you read that essay if I thought you would get that from it. I promise,” I said, tilting her chin up upward. “There’s no way I’d be better off without you.”
And before she could argue with me, I quieted her lips with my own.
Chapter Twenty
Lucy
“Um, excuse me? Who is this fox and what have you done with Lucy’s nerdy alter ego?” Addy’s voice blared through my phone and into the hotel room.
“She’s on a one night sabbatical,” I answered, smoothing down my gold-sequined dress. The top was your typical teeny strapped, sweetheart neckline. The gold satin hugged my skin like it had been sewn specifically for me. But the bottom, the bottom was the real knock-out.
“Twirl!” demanded Nora, shoving her face as close to the screen as possible. It was like she thought being closer to the camera herself would make it easier to see me. I stepped back giving them the full effect as I spun in a circle, the tulle bottom floating around me like smoke from a genie’s bottle.
“Hot damn,” cried Addy. “You are the prettiest disco ball I have ever seen.” I rolled my eyes, but I knew she meant it in a good way. When Addy gave you a compliment, it always sounded a little like an insult and a lot like it was coming from a crazy person.
“Your friends are weird,” called Tabitha in the background.
Uh oh. Right on cue.
“Who was that?” said Nora and Addy, eyes narrowing with suspicion.
“None of your—”
“Who!” They demanded, their faces scrunched up in twin frowns.
Deciding to have a little fun with them, I held the phone up close to my face as I whispered, “My new best friend. She’s twice the woman you two are and I don’t want you to scare her away so buh-bye.” I gave the girls a wicked grin before hitting the red hang up bottom.
“When I get back to school...there’s gonna be hate mail, huh?” said Tabitha. She was on her queen bed, a compact in one hand as she attempted to navigate the difficult task of applying make up in crummy hotel lighting.
“Probably,” I laughed. “Once, I didn’t pick Nora to be my lab partner, and she didn’t talk to me for a week.”
“Great,” said Tabitha, with exaggerated sarcasm.
Twenty minutes later, looking like the cast of The Bachelor, Tabitha and I ascended the elevator to the roof, where tonight’s party was scheduled to take place.
This was one part of the itinerary Simon wasn’t willing to let slide.
“I’ve got dibs on Daniel at midnight,” said Tabitha before the doors opened.
“Say what?” I began to ask, but Tabitha didn’t wait to explain herself. Instead, the moment the doors parted she strode over to uber-shy Daniel, either oblivious or completely unthreatened by his mother’s presence and commanded his attention. She was as good as a Bond girl in that moment. Part of me wanted to stand back and watch but a bigger part of me wanted my own rooftop movie moment.
My eyes quickly scanned the crowded hotel party. Inside the warm veranda, there were a dozen large rectangular tables, each covered in a crisp white tablecloth. Copper wire with tiny gold lights wrapped around the glass centerpieces, each full to the brim with scarlet cranberries. There was a buffet of cheeses, meats, and tiny puffy appetizers I’d never seen before, all set decoratively on silver platters. I grabbed a champagne flute full of sparkling cider and searched for Simon.
He wasn’t sitting with our group, nor swaying in front of the band, the way Hailey and the Carmicheal twins were. For a moment, I thought he hadn’t arrived yet—but then I saw him. He stood outside, away from the rest of the party, his back to the food and the fun, his eyes cast over the city below.
A cold chill swept over my bare shoulders as I crept up behind him, placing my elbows on the cement barrier that stretched around the square roof. We stood for a moment without speaking, staring as car after car cruised through the darkness.
“Everyone’s going to a party tonight,” I said, breaking the silence.
Simon nodded. He was oddly quiet considering how much we had both been looking forward to this party.
“You’re supposed to say I look pretty,” I whispered, giving him a playful nudge as if I’d just given him a line he forgot in a play. Simon turned to face me.
“You look pretty,” he said quietly. A small smile stretched across his lips, but something felt wrong.
“You’re beginning to make me worry,” I joked, hoping he would shake off the bad mood and tell me he had a bad appetizer or too much apple cider.
Simon cleared his throat and raised his eyes from the skyline to mine. “What will it be like when we get b
ack?” he asked.
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“At school. It’s one thing to hold hands with me here in D.C. with a bunch of Key Club nerds for company. But in the hallway, with Trevor in the background, and prom court nominations on the table...are you really going to want to be Simon Hawkins’s girlfriend?”
I pressed my lips into a tight line and squeezed my eyes shut. How was it that he couldn’t see I’d wanted to be his girlfriend for a lot longer than this trip?
“When we get back,” I said, taking both of his hands in mine and forcing him to look at me. “I’m going to tell the whole world you’re my boyfriend. Starting with Addy and Gray. When we get back, you are going to be so tired of my constant ooey-gooey moon eyes that you’ll likely decline your invitation to MSU just to get away from me.”
A real smile began to crinkle at the edges of Simon’s eyes.
“Background Trevor will get over himself, but I can’t promise you, you won’t be nominated for Prom King,” I said, cocking one eyebrow. “The nerd-to-hottie thing is pretty in right now.”
“Really?” he asked, disbelief written all over his face.
“Really,” I laughed, turning him to face Tabitha, her hand tucked into the crook of a very scared looking Daniel’s arm.
Simon
I was her boyfriend.
As the last hours of the year came to a close, we danced, laughed, and took no less than two-thousand selfies with her phone. Before the clock even came close to midnight, we each had mid-kiss pics set as our wallpaper. She kept me under a strict no-social media posting NDA. Apparently, posting new boyfriend pics to Instagram before telling your BFFs was a major no-no, and I was not about to mess with that.
I did have to text Gray discreetly to make him promise not to tell Addy since I couldn’t even make it one day before telling him. How she was waiting until we got home, I did not know.
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