by Becky McGraw
“I consulted with a plastic surgeon, too. He examined her and said her face is going to take major reconstruction. Several surgeries.” She pulled a card out and handed it to him and Hawk’s eyes felt as dry as a desert. Too dry to blink, as he tried to focus on the gold lettering.
“Thank you, doc,” he said, choking out the words, as the enormity of what Maddie would have to endure to become herself again hit him.
Who was he kidding? She would never be the same. How could she be, after all she’d endured and had to go through now?
Dealing with the emotional issues from her captivity, the surgery on her face and the loss of her leg might be more than she could take. It should be more than anyone could bear. If he were in her shoes, he wasn’t sure he could. A thought hit him, something he hadn’t told the doctor.
“What about her memory?” Hawk asked, looking up at her. “She can’t remember anything before the crash.” The doctor’s body jerked and her eyebrows rose.
“Amnesia, too? I saw the scars on her scalp. Since they were healed, I didn’t think about a head injury. I was too worried about her leg.” She shook her head and a tired breath escaped. “I’ll have an MRI done immediately and call neuro in to see if we can figure out what’s going on.” She stood then leaned in to squeeze his shoulder. “This young lady has a long row to hoe, so it’s good to hear that she has plenty of support.”
She wouldn’t have plenty of support. Maddie would have him. Her brother would be going back to Arizona, where his life was now, and her father couldn’t give a shit less.
Hawk would be the one standing beside her with a hoe in his hand, or in this case, his dick, feeling overwhelmed and scared out of his mind. The question was, when Maddie got to feeling better, would she want him standing there?
Chapter 13
Maddie’s body felt feather-light as she floated above a cottony cloud with no cares at all, except following wherever the beautiful little red-haired girl holding her hand led her. The girl turned to her and smiled, her green eyes bright. That amazing smile lit the child’s eyes, warmed Maddie’s insides and tickled something pleasant in her memory. Her heart expanded until it felt like it might burst with the emotion that filled it.
What was this place? Who was this girl? What was that infernal beeping noise that kept her from focusing on where they were going?
A soft, whispery stroke tickled her cheek and Maddie wiggled her nose. She gasped when the little girl yanked her arm, and frowned when the bright place where they walked became dimmer. The little girl tugged her arm harder, seemingly in a hurry to drag her toward a tiny dot in the distance. The farther they walked, the bigger that dot became. By the time they stopped, everything was dark and she could no longer see the girl’s face.
“Wait, where are we going?” Maddie asked, her heart beating faster when the small hand holding hers released it.
“You’re going home, silly.” A childish giggle frustrated her. She didn’t want to go home—she wanted to feel light again. To stay here and walk on clouds.
“I love you, Mommy,” the girl whispered, hugging her legs. When she stepped away, Maddie felt like she was falling. She sucked in a shuddering breath, and her body jerked.
Her eyes opened and she looked wildly around her for the little girl, but she was nowhere to be found. There were plenty of machines, though, and she identified the one that caused the beeping. Her gaze swung to the handsome man’s face that hovered above hers.
“I love you, Maddie,” he said with a breathtaking smile as he leaned in to press his lips to hers in a tender kiss. “Welcome back, baby.”
That smile. It was identical to the one the little girl in her dream wore.
Something in her mind shifted as she tried to place it. To identify who this man was to her. He said he loved her, so she must know him?
A picture of him naked, his face hovering above her just like it was now, zipped through her mind and blood rushed to her face as she actually felt those delicious muscles under her fingertips. She tried to hang on to it, but disappointment filled her when it popped like a bubble.
“Okay, sir. Let me take her vitals, then we’ll move her to her room. We’ll meet you down there in an hour,” a woman in a green scrub suit said as she elbowed him aside.
“But I—” the man said, his gorgeous smile disappearing.
“No, buts, big guy. The surgery suite is booked solid today, so we need to move her out of recovery. You can kiss her all you want once we get her into her room.”
The man turned away, a flash of the little girl’s face slid through her vision again and Maddie put a name with the face. Sarah! She paired it with a baby’s face, not a little girl, and freaked out.
“Where is my daughter?!?” she demanded, wheezing as panic tightened her chest and she tried to sit up.
The tubes connected to her body and the machines kept her anchored so she frantically pulled at them. The nurse squeaked and shoved her back down in the bed. When Maddie continued to struggle, she laid on top.
“Maddie, stop!” the man shouted, and Maddie froze. He pushed the nurse aside to take her hand and meet her eyes. “Sarah is fine. They are giving her fluids and checking her out. I’m going up there every couple of hours to hold her and check on her.”
“Who are you?” Maddie whispered.
“I’m Rhett Hawkins, Sarah’s father and your boyfriend. Or I was your boyfriend before you left me,” he replied, swallowing hard. The intense pain in his eyes and voice seeped inside her chest to make her heart hurt.
She must have been a moron to reject this man who was not only gorgeous, but who obviously cared a great deal about her and their daughter. How in the hell could she have forgotten him? It just didn’t make sense. God, why was she so damned confused?
Memories of being held prisoner by a drug lord in Guatemala came to her and her stomach lurched. Why had she been there? Oh, yeah, she’d crashed a helicopter. This man and the one who claimed to be her brother said she was in the Army.
“I’m sorry—things are a little fuzzy.” A little? Goodness gracious, Maddie felt like she’d lost her mind, and maybe she had.
Considering what she’d been through in Guatemala that wouldn’t be a surprise. The things she wanted to remember were gone, and the things she wanted to forget, crystal clear.
“Why am I in the hospital?” Maddie asked, reaching up to push the hair off her forehead.
Her fingers skimmed over the ridge of a scar and her body tensed as insane fear gripped her. Spanish conversation over the com channel, a bright light pierced through her brain, occluded her vision and she turned her head still fighting to maintain control.
Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! Shards of glass peppered her face and neck, she felt her skin ripping when a tree limb raked the side of her face. Nausea pushed up to her throat and a scream built in her chest. Hot metal sliced into the other side of her face and she suddenly had no control over her body as it was flung around the cockpit at the will of gravity. The truck, her begging them to kill her the pain was so bad. Them laughing as they tossed her into the bed of the truck and bumped over rutted roads to take her to their compound.
“Relax, Maddie. You’re going to be okay now,” Rhett soothed, stroking her shoulder and she opened her eyes. Why did his face look like that? Guilty almost.
“What happened to me?” she asked, running her hands over her chest and arms. The warm blankets were too heavy for her to lift her legs.
“You crushed your ankle in a helicopter crash. Do you remember that?”
“I remember crashing, yes,” she said her voice quaking. “Someone, the cartel I think, shined a laser into the cockpit and blinded me. But why am I here?”
“The bones didn’t heal right, and the pressure you put on it flying made things worse. You got an infection in the bones that almost killed you. It could have if…” His green eyes filled and his lips pinched. “Sarah needs you, baby. Max made the only decision he could.”
Max—he
r brother. “What decision was that?” she asked.
“To amputate your leg to save you, sweetheart. I’m so sorry,” he replied and Maddie’s whole body went numb.
Come back and take me little girl. I don’t want to be here anymore.
Chapter 14
“Maddie, you’ve got to take a shower, baby. They’re coming to get you for therapy in an hour,” Hawk said, as he tossed back the blanket. Maddie’s eyes fell on the heavily bandaged stump laying on the left side of the bed and she squeezed them shut as terror once again filled her.
The only thing that horrified her more was seeing the extent of the damage to her face when he carried her to the bathroom the first time last week. The Bride-of-Frankenstein-like woman who stared back at her in the mirror was her new reality, one she had no idea how to deal with. How could anyone, especially this man, stand to look at her now when she couldn’t even stand to look at herself?
She’d been in this bed for two weeks and she planned on staying here until they carried her out. There was no way she was letting anyone outside this room see her. Maybe she’d ask that pretty therapist woman, who had the hots for Hawk, for a bag to go over her head. A plastic one would be preferable at the moment.
“I don’t want to get up. Just wake me up when Taylor gets here with Sarah,” Maddie said, closing her eyes, praying for sleep. And then that she didn’t wake up.
But she had to wake up because her baby needed her. Thank God, Sarah was given a clean bill of health and was away from this place. Maddie wanted to be away from here too—to be with her without restriction. She was relegated to two hours a day with her, though, and this time the price for earning that privilege was much steeper than flying a helicopter with a mangled leg.
Humiliation was the cost now and Maddie could do without more of that. Another round of gasps, averted eyes and pitying looks as she was wheeled through the hospital to the therapy room would be more than she could bear. Falling on her face in front Rhett Hawkins today, when she tried out the temporary prosthesis they’d fitted her for last week, would be the ultimate degradation.
Her self-appointed watchdog already pitied her enough, but he couldn’t feel any sorrier for her than she felt for herself. Maddie had nothing but time to lay in this bed and contemplate what her life would be like after she got out of here.
The prospects were grim. According to Hawk, she was from Arizona, but had no home there because she’d lived in base housing before she left. Her father and brother were in the military, her mother dead by her own hand.
Maddie had no one but her daughter, no job, and the odds of anyone hiring her with no leg and looking like Quasimodo were slim. When she broke down after he told her all that, Hawk told her not to worry about anything but getting better. That was easy for him to say. Yeah, he had a daughter now, or he claimed Sarah, which was good because Maddie couldn’t remember, but she would be the one raising their child.
Maddie had to worry. Hawk asserted she could apply for military disability payments, but applying didn’t mean she’d get them. She didn’t remember much, but she did remember how slowly the military worked. Hell, they’d left her to rot in the jungle for six months, why would they care that she was rotting on home soil?
“You’ll see her after your shower and therapy,” Hawk replied, sounding agitated as he stood beside the bed.
Maddie’s eyes flew open to glare at him. He could not be any more agitated than she was at the moment. She was the one missing a leg and being harassed.
“Showering isn’t an option since I can’t stand up, nimnuts. And I’m not leaving this room.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Just get me my damned daughter.”
“I’m glad to see your attitude wasn’t amputated along with your leg, sweet thang.” He wiggled his eyebrows and a smile curled one corner of his mouth. “If that went missing, I’d really be sad.”
Anger shot through her and Maddie gasped. His full-blown smile appeared—the one where she could count every perfect, white tooth. A real smile that made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. It hit her in the chest and took her breath away. Damn him.
A yearning cut deep through her soul and came with a memory of them on a picnic somewhere. Of him laying her down and rolling on top of her to stroke her face and smile down at her the same way. Tears burned her eyes and emotion choked her, because she knew those sparse memories, which were slowly coming back, were all she’d have for the rest of her life.
No man would want her now, especially handsome, charming men like him. They reserved those smiles for women like her therapist. Pretty women with both legs, not a troll like her who couldn’t even stand up on her own two feet, because she only had one foot now.
At least she’d have her daughter to love her. She had no use for her brother, because he was partly to blame for some of her present misery—and he hadn’t even been here to see her since the surgery. He must be horrified or embarrassed to call her a relative now. She couldn’t say that she blamed him for feeling that way.
The door of the room opened, and Maddie expected the nurse to show up as reinforcement for Hawk, but as if she’d summoned him with her thoughts, Max walked into the room dressed in desert camo. Another older man wearing a sour expression and an Army dress uniform walked in behind him. His wiry gray brows disappeared under the brim of his hat and he slapped a hand over his mouth. Maddie didn’t miss the horror in his eyes before he turned back toward the door. Max’s hand landed hard on his shoulder to stop him.
After a minute and a deep breath, her father snapped back around to face her, his face as green as his eyes when they met hers. Him she remembered in vivid detail, unfortunately.
Why him? Why not Hawk? Oh, God—what was he doing here? Maddie’s eyes burned fiercely, but she knew the response she’d get from him for crying, so she held them back.
“General,” she said shortly.
“Madeline,” he replied, then cleared his throat. “I’m glad to see you’re alive.”
And she knew from his face, his stilted tone, that was total bullshit. Her father was embarrassed, and disappointed. Horrified at her appearance and condition. No less than she expected from the misogynistic bastard.
Will you ever cease to embarrass me, Madeline Carter? You know I have a reputation to uphold. The Army expects a lot of me, and I expect better from you. The reprimand she’d heard a thousand times in her life echoed in her head as if he’d spoken the words.
“I should have died, I deserved to die. I failed, sir,” she said and her breakfast seesawed between her stomach and chest. “I crashed my helicopter and killed two of my crew. I’m sorry for embarrassing you.”
He shook his head, removed his cover and glared at her. “Good God—a baby too? Were you raped, Madeline? That is why women are not allowed in spec ops. I made a mistake recommending you.”
“No, your mistake was talking to her like that, asshole!” Hawk roared, and in a blur of motion, he flew across the room to put his fist into her father’s face.
The General’s head slammed against the door, his hat flew and Hawk jabbed him again on the other side. His arm cocked back to hit him once more, but the General crumpled to the floor and Max put his arms around Hawk to drag him back.
“He’s not worth it, dude. Trust me,” Max growled, glowering at his father. “He’s a boil on the butt of humanity.”
Her father sat up to rub his jaw, grabbed his hat and scrambled up to his feet, then pointed a shaking finger at his son.
“This is your fault! You should’ve just left her there, Max. It would’ve been kinder, because she’s useless now. How do you think she’s going to function? She’ll be lucky to take care of herself, much less a brat.”
Anger launched Maddie straight up in the bed and made her lightheaded. It was one thing to talk about her like he did―she could take it. But it was another matter entirely when he included her daughter.
“As long as you aren’t in my life anymore, General, I t
hink I’ll function just fine. But if you ever talk about my daughter like that again, I guarantee you I’ll do this world a favor and shoot you. You taught me how, so you know I won’t miss.”
“Don’t threaten me, girl,” he said, slamming his hat back on his head.
“No threats, General. That is a promise,” she replied, swinging her legs to the side and scooting to the edge of the bed.
She would show him how useless she was.
Chapter 15
“Maddie, I’m so sorry, baby,” Hawk said, turning back toward her after Max followed her father out the door, or, more accurately pushed him out of the door. From the look of murder on her brother’s face, she would not be surprised if he had a second round with the General out in the parking lot.
“What are you sorry for?” she asked, meeting his eyes as he walked to her.
“For punching out your father,” he grated, his jaw tight.
“You’re lying,” she said, her lips twitching. “I see that vein near your temple throbbing and that only happens when you’re not telling the truth.”
“You’re right. I’m not sorry one bit,” he replied, his smile suddenly blossoming.
“Better you than me.” The return smile that curled her lips felt odd. “I was thinking of joining in, but it would’ve been a little too cliché.”
A bark of laughter burst from his lips. “A one-legged woman in a butt-kicking contest?”
“You got it,” she replied, her smile spreading to tighten one side of her face and her insides untwisting a notch.
Hawk’s eyes fell to her smile to study it and his disappeared. The heat from his stare dried up the moisture in her mouth. She raised a hand to cover her lips, because she knew he must be staring at the sagging corner, but he brushed her hand away.
“I love to see you smile,” he said, holding her hand to look into her eyes.