by Becky McGraw
His right hand moved away from her breast and his fingers splayed on her belly, as he smoothed his hand down her body. She whimpered when they curled over her mound and found her swollen clit. With gentle pressure, he teased her with one slow circle around the bud and her body jerked.
“Aaarrgh…mmmm,” she moaned, sliding lower to seek more pressure. She circled her hips against his hand and he pressed harder, but didn’t move his fingers.
Maddie moved her hips and ratcheted her own pleasure up with each movement. Her hands clutched his shoulders and her fingers dug in as she increased the speed of her movements until they became frantic. He pressed harder, kissed her throat and sucked. A rush of pleasure drowned her, Maddie screamed and her body vibrated as a million strands of light carried a delicious, mind-bending orgasm through her. His arms clamped around her waist and he held her tight as she shook and precious, much-needed relief surged through her.
“You’re not thinking about your stump or scars right now are you, sweet thang?” he asked, his hot breath raking her ear. “You’re feeling pretty damned beautiful and desirable right now, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered, feeling boneless as she lay in his arms sucking in breaths.
“Good. When you get inside your head and start feeling sorry for yourself again, remember this, because no matter what you see in the mirror, this is you, Maddie Carter, and I love every square inch of you.”
Maddie tensed again. She wanted to say those words back to him so badly her teeth ached as she clamped them to stop herself. She felt like she should say them, but couldn’t until she either remembered their life before, or knew him better. She was beginning to love him. He was amazing to her, how could she not? But until the time came when they came freely to her lips, she wouldn’t. That wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
With a sigh, she sat up and turned in his lap. He helped her to straddle him and hissed when she scooted closer and his erection settled into the cradle of her thighs. Maddie cupped his face between her palms and leaned in to press her lips to his.
“I don’t remember you, Rhett and that is unfortunate. I don’t have to remember to know why I must’ve loved you—you’re an amazing, caring man. I must’ve been a lucky woman back then, but I’m even luckier now to still have you feel that way about me. Thank you for everything you’re doing for me.”
She leaned in to kiss him again, and with a growl, his right hand came up to hold the back of her skull. He devoured her mouth and Maddie moaned when he finally pushed her away.
“Time to finish this lesson and shower. You have some therapy to do, because I want you in fighting form when we get to lesson number three.”
Chapter 18
“So the plastic surgeon scheduled my first reconstructive surgery for next week,” Maddie said, and Hawk looked over at her. “He said we need to get them all done as soon as possible because the scar tissue builds more every day.”
“That makes sense,” Hawk replied. But it didn’t worry him less. Going under the knife to save her life was one thing. This was cosmetic and she’d been through enough pain in the last eight months. Couldn’t they give her a break?
“I can’t wait to see, Sarah,” she said, her eyes sparkling as she turned in her seat to look at him. “I’ll bet she’s grown a foot.”
Her excitement sparked his own, and made him smile. She’d been talking almost non-stop since they left the hospital. Mostly about their daughter.
“You saw her two days ago,” Hawk said, turning his smile her way.
Maddie sighed and turned back in her seat to cross her arms over her chest. “I know, but I haven’t had the chance to have her with me all the time since she was born. Other women have been her mother most of the time. It’s my turn.”
Now that Maddie’s problems were improving and she was starting to accept the loss of her leg, he wanted time to get to know his baby too.
“God, I’m so glad to be out of that hospital. It was worth falling on my face trying to get used to the peg leg to get them to cut me loose.”
Yep, Maddie was well on her way to becoming herself again. That sense of humor was coming back for sure.
“Peg leg?!?” he repeated with a laugh. “You have the most hi-tech prosthesis available, sweet thang, and a blade for running. If that doctor heard you call his masterpiece that, he’d probably repossess it.”
“He’d have to catch me first and I’ll give him a good race with his bionic leg,” she said with a chuckle. “If he catches me, I’ll just take it off and beat him over the head with it.”
Hawk burst out laughing and she smiled over at him. God, he felt good right now. Too good. The other shoe, the one she no longer needed, had to drop soon. He had no idea why he felt that way, but he did. Maybe he did know.
Maddie might be recovering, but she seemed to be pushing herself too hard in the process. The things she had to be holding inside were what worried him. PTSD was not a pretty condition, and considering what she’d been through, if anyone should have it, it was her. He was going to suggest they set up an appointment with a therapist, too. He opened his mouth to begin that discussion, but she started talking first.
“Are you sure we’re okay to go to this compound? I don’t know these people who seem too good to be true. They pay for you to come looking for me in the jungle, they send people with you to help, take care of Sarah while I’m in the hospital and now they’re offering me and the baby a place to stay?”
“They’re not too good to be true. They are just good people. The only family I have now and we care about each other,” Hawk replied, understanding why she’d think that, because he had a hard time believing it too at first, when he’d landed there after his mother died.
She looked over at him with sympathy in her eyes. “You don’t have anyone except them? No mother or father? Siblings?” she asked.
It frustrated him that she didn’t remember going to his mother’s funeral with him, or helping him through that nightmare. Having to recount everything that happened in their past was frustrating. But it was worth it, as long as it helped her remember.
“No, it’s just me now,” he replied. “My mother had breast cancer and that’s why I left the military. I went home to Georgia to help her and six months later she died. You helped me through that. I don’t know what I’d have done otherwise.”
He lived for the times she came to visit, their talks on the phone when it all became too much. Maddie had been his only connection to normal life outside the hospital and then hospice, his escape hatch from that nightmarish reality.
“She wasn’t married? What about your father?” she asked, and he glanced at her.
“When Mom got sick, he took off. Never heard from the asshole again,” Hawk growled, his insides twisting. It was a good thing he hadn’t seen him since, or he’d have killed the drunken coward. That he sent flowers to the funeral infuriated Hawk.
“Is that why you’re taking care of me?” she asked, sounding a little insecure. “Because I helped you and you feel obligated? Or because you loved me too, and you want to prove you’re not like him?
Anger surged through Hawk and he swerved on the road. “Why in the fuck would you think that, Maddie? Are you saying I’m no better than him? That I’m pretending to care? I can assure you that is far from the case.”
She shrugged and looked out the window. “You have to be pissed at me if I turned you down like that, so that’s why I’ve been trying to figure out your motivation for helping me.”
“Not everyone has ulterior motives for helping you, Madeline Carter. I’m one of those people. I would help a bum on the street if he needed a buck. Because that is how my mother raised me and how I plan to raise our daughter.”
Her eyes flew back to his. “You plan to raise our daughter? With me?” she repeated, her eyebrows raised. “Is that what this is about?”
“Wow, you think a helluva lot of me, don’t you?” Hawk asked, pushing the words past the knot in his
throat. “Of course I plan on raising our daughter. With or without you.” He swallowed hard because that did not come out right. “I mean whether we work things out or not, I plan on being in her life, so get used to it.”
“You are just too damned good to be true, aren’t you, flyboy?” she said and he felt her eyes on the side of his face. “Even though I don’t remember her conception, which is unfortunate…” He saw the flash of her grin out of the corner of his eye and tensed. “She is a very lucky girl to have you for a father, and I’m lucky to have you as a friend. I’m sorry for upsetting you, Rhett, but I had to know.”
I’m lucky to have you as a friend. Those words echoed inside his head and burst the bubble of hope inside him. Maddie might forever be nothing more than his friend again. Things may not work out for them. Committing himself to a lifetime of being her baby’s father both financially and emotionally, without knowing for sure he was her father, was masochistic.
No more so than being in Sarah’s life forever and watching her mother be with other men. Maddie might get married and that man would become Sarah’s everyday father. Hawk would let himself fall in love with that kid and then be left on the outside looking in. If she was his, he could handle that, or would force himself to. If she was someone else’s that man needed to step up.
Since she’d opened the can of worms, he was going to fish with them.
“Since we’re on the subject of Sarah’s conception, do you remember having a boyfriend after me?” he asked.
Maddie gasped, as her head whipped toward him. “Are you calling me a whore? Trying to say that Sarah isn’t yours? Because if you are, I’ll save you the trouble and tell you don’t bother trying to be her father. We don’t need you.”
Hawk bit the inside of his cheek, tried to get a handle on his anger, then blew it out on a breath. “No, I’m not saying that at all. You weren’t that kind of woman. But we did break up and there was a three-month period between then and the time you deployed. You went to Kentucky for training, so maybe you met someone there.”
“I don’t remember anything, I’m sorry,” she replied, her voice trembling.
“Not even if you knew you were pregnant when you went to El Salvador?” Hawk asked, glancing at her.
“Again, no—I don’t remember anything. I thought I’d been raped while I was out of it, because I had no idea how long I’d been there before you guys rescued me. Now, I know I went there pregnant, but don’t know if I knew that when I did.” She swiped her hand over her forehead. “God, I’m so confused.”
“Those are the things I need to know, Maddie. Before I get too attached to either of you, I would like to have a DNA test done.”
There, he’d said it. But Hawk didn’t feel relief. What he felt was gut-wrenching fear that he’d just given away the greatest gift he’d ever been offered.
Chapter 19
Hawk’s heart had never been so full, he thought, as he held his daughter to his shoulder and gently patted her back the way Maddie had shown him. Her soft giggle tickled his insides and he smiled. When Sarah sighed and snuggled into his neck, peace and contentment swept through him and he sighed too.
No wonder Maria didn’t want to let Maddie have time with her. He understood now why evicting her, her baby and her boobs from the suite, and moving her to the bunkhouse, became necessary to get his time too.
Sarah Elaine Hawkins, named after both their mothers, was the sweetest, most cuddly baby in the world. Irresistible when she turned on her charm.
A chip off the old block.
Forget the fucking test—call and tell them you don’t want to know. Just tell Maddie to tell them she had the baby in El Paso when you stopped for fuel. Tell her to put your name on the birth certificate.
But it was too late for that. He’d set those wheels in motion, and there was no stopping that runaway bus now. Maddie’s disability payments and Sarah’s future now depended on those results, because of him.
When Maddie applied for her disability benefits three weeks ago, she told the military that Sarah’s father was to be determined by DNA test results, which were pending. Now, before they determined her eligibility, they wanted those results—and a U.S. birth certificate, which was proving to be a problem.
Hawk never imagined obtaining a birth certificate for a child would be so difficult. But Sarah was born outside of the country, under unusual circumstances, with no witnesses. He was starting to think it might take an act of Congress to get this done. At a hefty price, he’d hired a specialized lawyer to help speed up the process, but even he warned it could take a while.
The sweet bundle of sugar and spice in his arms was worth every penny, and minute of time he’d spent getting it done, though. With good luck, he was hoping to have all of this behind them in three months or so. In a perfect world, it could happen, and his little world seemed pretty damned perfect at the moment.
It might even get brighter today, if they got news at Maddie’s doctor’s appointment that a third surgery wouldn’t be necessary. She was excited and nervous about “the big reveal” as she called it, and hoping she’d only need one more too.
Tonight, he’d made arrangements for them to celebrate either way.
Operation Woo Maddie was commencing with lesson three, and would be complete before her next surgery in three weeks. Before she went under the knife again, Maddie Carter would be in love with him once more.
Hawk decided he was not giving her a chance to date anyone else, or another man an opportunity to be a father to this baby, because regardless of how those test results came back, he was Sarah’s father. He dared anyone to try to refute that. Love and protectiveness surged through him, making his heart feel like it might explode.
He nudged the baby carrier closer with his foot, then eased Sarah down into it. She fussed, but he found her binky and teased her lips. After she sucked it into her mouth, Hawk stroked her cheek with his thumb and a monsoon of love rushed through him.
Maddie laughed as she walked into the room wrapped in a towel, drying her hair. “Would you quit flirting with your daughter? I’m getting a little jealous.”
Hawk looked up just as she moved the towel away and he gasped. “You took off the bandages and you’re not wearing your chinstrap! The doctor said you shouldn’t do that or you’ll sag,” he growled, but his heart raced. Even though faint scars remained on her forehead and some on her cheeks, for the most part, she looked just like she used to.
That doctor was a miracle worker, and Hawk planned to tell him so.
“I was tired of the baths, so I took them off to shower,” she said with a shrug and a broad, but self-conscious smile. “He was taking them off today, anyway. Don’t worry, I went easy on the face, so I won’t get yelled at too much.” Her smile was now only a little lopsided on the left side, and he imagined his was too.
“You look incredible, baby. Now, I’m the one who will have to watch out for the flirting.”
She brought her hand up to her face to smooth her fingers over each cheek, then ran them over her eyelids and forehead. “It’s pretty amazing isn’t it?”
“Amazing. Incredible. Beautiful. Wow!” Hawk agreed. “Definitely worth a celebration, because I know you have to feel better.” That is what was important.
Hawk would’ve taken her just like she was, and told her so before she agreed to go through this, but he knew it bothered her badly.
“Celebration?” she asked, her eyebrows lifting.
“Yes, ma’am, you need to put your party shoes on, because I’m taking you out tonight,” Hawk said grinning. “And then we’re coming home for lesson three.”
She looked surprised as her face flushed and she smiled. “I’m down with the party as long as there’s no dancing. I’m not that confident on my peg leg yet, even with therapy twice a week. And there won’t be any high heels worn.”
“Maybe dancing should be included in the program, so you can practice?” he said, and she laughed, but shook her head.
&n
bsp; Her eyelids drooped and she licked her lips as her eyes fell to his mouth. “I’ll forego the dancing to get to lesson three faster. It took you long enough to get there. You sure are a slow and methodical teacher, Rhett Hawkins.”
“Oh, honey—you have no idea how slow I can go, or how methodical I plan to be,” he replied, as heat surged through him.
She was flirting with him now and that was a good sign. His cock swelled behind his fly and he adjusted himself. Hawk’s eyes dropped to her breasts, which stretched the white tank she wore deliciously and his mouth watered.
“Who’s keeping Sarah?” she asked, her face falling, and Hawk knew exactly what she was thinking.
“Not Maria,” he replied, and the tension left her face. “Taylor is keeping her, but warned me she may not give her back this time.”
“Did you get an update from Dante today? When is the helo going to be ready so he can take her home?” she asked. “She really needs to go, Hawk. I can’t stand to see her face. It brings back so many bad—”
“He said it could be a few more weeks,” Hawk replied cutting her off. “I’m sorry, baby, I want her gone as badly as you, but the damage to the helo is more extensive than they thought. They are waiting for a new hydraulic system to be manufactured and installed.”
“Wow—a whole new system? Holy crap, what will that cost? Dave is going to lose his mind. Gray said so when he saw the estimate for the body work.”
Hawk stood and walked over to pull her into his arms. She looked up at him, and he saw the anxiety in her eyes. “That is not something you need to be worrying about, sweet thang, and Logan will be fine. Let me deal with him.”
The tension in her body eased and she melted into him as her arms slid around his waist. She hugged him and laid her head on his chest. “I seriously don’t know how I’ll thank any of you. Or how I’ll repay you. Every night I thank God that you found me and that these people helped. Otherwise—” she said, and swallowed hard.