Many of the places they played had poor mobile reception, but as the boys were with her, Liv was happy to leave her phone on silent anyway. She always brought something to read, and had podcasts and music to listen to, but often she found herself drifting into an almost meditative state as she gazed out at the figures in white, blurring against the vivid green of the oval, and breathed in the scent of cut grass, the only sound the occasional thwack of ball against bat. Honestly, she was like a pig in mud.
‘Liv!’
She jumped. That was Rick, she’d know his holler anywhere. She peered around the shade shelter to see him striding towards her, waving enthusiastically, a manic grin plastered across his face. Bugger. What was he doing here?
‘Why are you sitting all the way over here on your own?’ he said, and before she realised what he was doing, he’d swooped down to plant a kiss on her cheek. What the . . . ?
‘Come over and join the others,’ he went on. ‘You know Robyn and Michael and Lynda and Glen and Bob and . . . what’s her name again?’
Liv stared blankly up at him. ‘Rick, what are you doing here?’
‘Watching the boys play cricket,’ he said, like it was obvious.
‘But it’s not your weekend,’ she reminded him.
‘Come on, Liv, when have we ever been strict about that sort of thing?’
Well, never. When Rick was ‘busy’ for whatever reason, he was more than happy to palm the boys off onto Liv on his weekend. But to willingly come to watch them play sport when it wasn’t his turn . . . that was a first, and it was troubling.
‘Seriously, Rick, I want to know what you’re doing here,’ Liv said.
‘Just enjoying some family time,’ he replied.
Now she was really beginning to feel queasy. ‘This has to stop,’ she said plainly.
‘You’re going to stop me from seeing my kids?’
‘Don’t be dramatic,’ said Liv. ‘I’m entitled to some notice when you’re going to show up at times outside the usual. That’s only polite.’
‘Fair enough. But speaking of polite, we should go join the others.’
Liv sighed. So that was that. He was staying, and she just had to put up with it. And not only that, she was expected to join ‘the others’. This could blow her cover forever, but what choice did she have? If she held her ground, she’d look like a weirdo; besides, Rick wouldn’t leave her alone until she gave in – that was his MO, wear her down until she lost the will to refuse.
So for the next few hours Liv had to stand around making strained conversation, trying desperately to keep up her carefully cultivated shy persona. Rick made it almost impossible. He didn’t get it, of course, so he was constantly trying to buck her up, throwing an arm around her shoulders and telling her to cheer up. All she could do was grit her teeth, occasionally stealing a wistful look across at her shade shelter. Liv had a feeling it was never going to be the same again. And that just wasn’t cricket.
When the game was finished, Rick suddenly made himself very helpful packing up her shade shelter and carrying all the gear back to her car, despite Liv insisting she and the boys could handle it. He closed the boot with a satisfied slap. ‘So, who wants to come in my car?’ he asked the boys.
No! That meant he would have to come back to their place. Before Liv could protest, Lachie called, ‘Shotgun!’
‘But there’s no need, Rick,’ said Liv, trying to sound firm but polite. ‘We can all fit in my car. It’s how we got here, after all.’ And who invited you anyway?
But Rick was oblivious. ‘First one home . . .’ he cried, grinning at Lachie as they took off together across the carpark.
‘Don’t you dare speed with him in the car!’ she called after them, for what it was worth. She stood there fuming, and then noticed Dylan staring at her. She swallowed down the lump of rage rising in her throat and fixed a smile on her face. ‘Well, we better get going, too.’
Rick had done this to her all her life, with complete strangers, with their friends, in front of the boys – he took over and Liv was forced to go along with it or else look like the bad guy. It didn’t matter what she said, he just waved it away as though he was swatting a fly. She always seemed to lose her power around him, and it made her so angry, as much at herself for allowing him to do it to her, again and again.
As they drove out of the carpark, Dylan turned to look at her. ‘Are you okay, Mum?’
She glanced at him. She obviously didn’t want the boys seeing her angry at their father. God, it was hard sometimes, keeping up appearances. ‘I’m fine,’ she said lightly.
‘Are you mad that Dad came today?’
‘No, not really . . .’ Liv wondered which was worse, criticising Rick or lying through her teeth. ‘I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. But it’s fine, I know you want to spend as much time as you can with your dad . . .’
Dylan shrugged. ‘Must bug you, but. If you divorce I guess that means you don’t really want to be together, but you have to spend some time together because of us. That has to suck.’
He had always had an old head on his young shoulders.
‘Anyway, I reckon it’d be weird if Dad was around all the time.’
‘Really?’
‘This is all I’ve ever known, Mum,’ he said. ‘We were too little to remember when he lived with us.’
‘That’s true.’ She pulled up at a red light and looked at him. ‘Do you ever wish things were different, though? That we were a normal family?’
‘What’s a normal family?’ said Dylan. ‘Half the kids I know, their parents are divorced, some more than once. They’ve got half-brothers, or stepsisters, or stepmothers, or just some dude who’s dating their mum staying over all the time. Compared to all that we’re like some lame family from way back in the seventies. Even The Brady Bunch was more out there than us.’
Liv had to laugh at that.
‘I reckon the family you’re in is the best, whatever it is,’ said Dylan.
‘I’m glad you think so. When I was a kid I always wished I could be from some other family.’ Liv sighed. ‘Any other family.’
He turned his head sharply at that. ‘Didja?’
Whoops. That was inappropriate. The boys loved their nan, and she loved them, unconditionally. Funny how good parenting could skip a generation.
‘Yeah . . . but I was just rebellious for the sake of it,’ said Liv, covering herself. ‘You boys haven’t been through that stage.’
‘Give us time,’ Dylan said with a glint in his eye. ‘Give us time.’
Such an old head.
When they turned into the driveway at home, Rick and Lachie were sitting on the front step of the house.
‘He didn’t have his keys with him,’ Rick explained as Liv and Dylan got out of the car. ‘And he didn’t realise that till we got all the way here. Nong,’ he added, giving Lachie’s head a playful shove. ‘Come on, boys, let’s unpack the car for your mother.’
Liv steeled herself as she walked past them into the house. She was not going to extend any kind of invitation to Rick, not that he seemed to think he needed one. But maybe if she just ignored him and carried on as usual, he might get the hint. She went straight to her bedroom, closed the door and got ready to take a shower. The other thing Liv liked so much about cricket was that the boys were usually worn out after a full day standing out in the sun, and they crashed early, leaving her to enjoy a glass of wine and a chick flick in peace. But she had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen tonight. She stood under the stream of water, trying to quell the simmering rage, but it was persistent. And it was accompanied by a growing sense of dread. What in the blue blazes was Rick up to?
Liv took her time in the shower, and dressed in her comfiest, daggiest clothes, finally emerging from her room to wander down the hall. Rick and Dylan were sprawled across the sofa, watching Lachie play the PS3.
‘Ah, there you are,’ said Rick. ‘We were thinking you must have got washed down the drain hole.’
Liv ignored that. Dylan’s hair was damp, and he’d changed his clothes, so he must have had his shower. ‘Lachie, you need to get out of your cricket gear and have a shower, mate.’
‘Yeah, as soon as I finish this level,’ he said, not taking his eyes off the screen.
Famous last words. God, she was sick of hearing that mantra. ‘Okay, but the plug’s coming out in five minutes no matter what level you’re on.’
‘Righto, Ma,’ he said anxiously, ‘don’t have a cow.’
Liv walked over to the fridge. She was going to pour herself a glass of wine, just as if Rick wasn’t there. And while it went against every polite instinct in her body, she wasn’t going to offer him one.
‘So I was telling the boys about this great curry place that delivers in the area,’ Rick said, coming to lean on the other side of the breakfast bench.
Liv didn’t respond. She didn’t want to encourage him.
‘I thought we could order in.’
‘I’ve already got chicken thawing for dinner. Thanks anyway.’
‘Oh, give yourself a night off,’ said Rick. ‘Besides, you probably won’t have enough for me as well.’
‘That’s right,’ Liv said pointedly.
‘So it’s agreed then! I’ll call the curry place.’
What just happened?
Despite Rick’s best efforts, the boys flagged early as usual after a day of cricket – Dylan first, then Lachie not long after. Liv was glad; she’d been working herself up to it all evening, and had decided she was definitely going to speak to Rick about his behaviour. She wasn’t going to let him keep blindsiding her; if he wanted to play like that, then Liv had to be prepared to go ahead and look like the bad guy, but she would take him down with her.
As Lachie sauntered off up the hallway to bed, Liv was wiping down the benches and loading the last stray glasses into the dishwasher.
‘Would you like a drink?’ Rick asked as he came into the kitchen.
Nice of him to offer her a glass of her own wine. ‘No thanks.’
‘Okay, well, do you mind if I help myself?’ he said, opening the fridge.
Liv turned to face him, leaning back against the bench. ‘Yes, I do actually.’
‘Huh?’
‘I do mind if you help yourself.’
His face dropped, and he closed the fridge door again. ‘What’s the matter, Livvie?’ he said, in his most patronising tone. ‘You haven’t been yourself today.’
‘That’s right,’ she said, folding her arms. ‘Because you barged in and hijacked my entire day.’
‘I think I salvaged it, actually,’ he said. ‘I can’t believe that in all this time you haven’t made friends with those people and you needed me to break the ice.’
‘I didn’t need you to break the ice,’ said Liv. ‘I’ve chosen to keep to myself.’
‘Well, that’s not healthy, Liv.’
‘It’s very healthy, Rick,’ she retorted. ‘It’s peaceful and relaxing. I can watch the boys and have some time on my own. And I don’t have to explain myself to you, especially when you shouldn’t have been there in the first place.’
‘And that’s another thing,’ said Rick. ‘Why are you trying to stop me from spending time with the boys?’
Liv groaned. ‘I’m not, but we have a schedule, Rick, and the only time you’ve ever strayed from it in the past is when you’ve wanted to get out of seeing them, not to see them more often.’
‘So I’m making up for lost time.’
‘Not on my time you’re not.’
He looked nonplussed.
‘I mean it, Rick, I want to be very clear about this,’ said Liv. ‘From now on you have to call me if you want to visit them when they’re with me.’
‘Well, that might not be necessary.’
She frowned. ‘Why’s that?’
He glanced over his shoulder up the hall. ‘There’s something I need to talk to you about. Can we go and sit down so we don’t wake the boys?’
Liv knew the twins would have crashed as soon as their heads hit the pillow, but she was wary as to what this was about, and she didn’t want to risk them overhearing. ‘Okay,’ she said, ‘but make it snappy. I’m tired and I want to go to bed.’
Rick followed her out to the family room; although he headed for the sofa, Liv took a seat at the table. She wanted to keep things businesslike. He traipsed over, pulled out a chair and dropped into it, doing a fairly good impression of a petulant child.
‘So, what is it?’ said Liv. ‘What’s going on?’
He took a breath. ‘You see, the thing is, I might have to stay here for a while.’
Her jaw dropped. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Carly and I are breaking up.’
Liv realised that the news had absolutely no effect on her. There was only one thing she wanted to know. ‘What’s that got to do with you staying here?’
‘Well, I didn’t think you’d want the father of your children to be homeless . . .’
She rolled her eyes. ‘No, I want you to do what any responsible adult would do, and find yourself somewhere to live.’
‘But this is my house too.’
‘No it isn’t. Don’t you remember the property settlement, Rick? When I bought you out?’
‘Yeah, but they gave you eighty percent of the house. It was hardly fair, Liv.’
She gritted her teeth. She had got eighty percent because she was the primary caregiver for the kids, and she didn’t take a share of Rick’s super, which was far more substantial than hers. Liv’s lawyer had been adamant that the court would give her the house, free and clear, given the age of the boys and the value of the super, but Rick had made such a fuss about not having any capital, asking how he was supposed to buy a place of his own . . . And then Liv’s mother had weighed in, said it was a disgrace, ‘taking a man’s house away from him’. Never mind that they’d bought it together, and that Liv had contributed as much financially as Rick until the twins were born. She didn’t even care about the house itself; she would have happily sold up and gone somewhere else, made a fresh start. But by the time they were finalising the settlement, the boys had started school, and she didn’t want to uproot them. Rick had grudgingly agreed to that at least – he didn’t want them to have to leave the house either. So against her lawyer’s advice, Liv had worked out an amount she could afford to add to the mortgage to buy out his share, and the end result was an eighty–twenty split.
‘Rick,’ she said now, ‘you know the settlement was actually in your favour. You got your super and twenty percent of the house.’
‘Yeah, but since the GFC, my super’s taken a hit, so –’
‘Are we really going to do this now?’ Liv said, stopping him. ‘It’s history, it’s the law even, this house is mine. Deal with it. Or don’t, I don’t really care.’
‘Okay, okay.’ Rick held up his hands in defeat. ‘I know, technically the house is yours. But theoretically . . .’
She sighed. ‘Okay, then in theory, you could stay, but in reality, you can’t.’
‘Look, I just can’t afford a hotel right now,’ he said. ‘Or the bond for a place.’
Liv didn’t believe that for a second.
‘Carly’s making things very . . . difficult. You see –’
Now Liv held up her hands, blocking him. ‘I don’t care, Rick. I’m not interested.’
‘That’s a bit harsh.’
‘The only reason you’re still in my life at all is because of the boys,’ she said. ‘I’m not your BFF. I don’t need to know what’s happening in your relationship, unless it impacts on them.’
‘You don’t think this will? You’re happy for them to stay with me in some seedy hotel?’
God, he was such a drama queen. Rick wouldn’t stay in a ‘seedy hotel’ if his life depended on it. ‘You are responsible for the boys’ welfare when they’re with you. I trust you to do the best for them.’
He looked a bit rattled. ‘We’re getting bogged
down in details here – there’s a much bigger picture to consider.’
‘Oh, what’s that?’
He sat back in his chair, meeting her eyes directly. ‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, Liv. You know that I’ve been with a . . . a number of women since we split.’
‘And before.’
He ignored that. ‘The thing is, you can’t say I haven’t tried to make a new life. But it hasn’t worked. Because – and this is what I’ve come to realise, Liv – you and I are the only thing that works.’
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake.’
‘Settle down and hear me out,’ Rick said, leaning forward. ‘I know I did the wrong thing by you back then. I won’t make excuses, but it was a really difficult time for me. I don’t know if you were ever aware just how hard it was for me. All of a sudden you were a mother of two, and it didn’t give you much time to be a wife, to be honest.’
This was Rick not making excuses.
‘I’m not suggesting I chose the right way to cope with what was happening . . . Some men take up golf, and they don’t lose everything. But on the positive side, I have actually learnt from my mistakes. I know now, without a shadow of a doubt, that you’re the best woman, the only woman for me.’
Liv wanted to laugh. ‘Well, it’s never too late to take up golf, Rick.’ She couldn’t listen to this any more, she went to get up.
‘Just wait,’ he said, taking hold of her arm. ‘Try and tell me it isn’t the same for you.’
‘It’s not the same for me,’ she said flatly.
‘Then why, in all these years, have you never found anyone, Liv? If you really believed there was someone else for you, why haven’t you put yourself out there? Don’t you think you should be asking yourself why that is?’
Liv was so astounded by his logic, she thought her head might actually explode. So not only do you get treated like a loser if you haven’t managed to snare another bloke, it must mean that you’re still holding a torch for the last one. If you dared to protest that you were in fact happy on your own, then of course that was protesting too much, methinks. The only way to shut everyone up was to partner up. No wonder Jennifer Aniston got engaged.
The Best Man Page 13