“Special, indeed,” Janelle said.
We both said goodbye to little Dalilah, then got into Ryan’s Porsche. We hadn’t actually taken this car in quite a while, traveling only in the Escalade, as it was very rare that we went anywhere without Dalilah. The exception to this, of course, was the target practice. This was continuing apace, and I was now able to hit the figures most of the time. But, even then, we took the Escalade. Not really sure why, that was just how it worked out.
We got to the restaurant, and Nick and Alexis were already there. They had apparently both been drinking for awhile. Nick stood up, and hugged and kissed Ryan on the cheek, then playfully punched my shoulder. “I’m so glad you guys could make it,” he said.
“Us, too,” Ryan said. “It’s nice to get out of the house for some fun for once. You know how it is when you have a baby at home.”
“Been there, done that, not doing it again,” Nick said. “Right, Alexis?”
Alexis didn’t say anything, just sipped her Cosmo.
“So, what’s new?” Ryan asked, peering over the menu. He had his arm around me, and was absent-mindedly rubbing my neck while he spoke.
“Well, you aren’t going to believe this, but…” Nick began.
“We found a guy,” Alexis said. “We’re Hamptoning with him.”
“What? You got somebody living with you two?” Ryan asked.
“Well, he doesn’t actually live with us,” Nick said. “He’s married. But he goes on a lot of business trips,” Nick said, air-quoting the words ‘business trips,’ “and he hangs out with us.”
Alexis nodded. “His name is David. You should meet him sometime.”
Ryan said nothing, just cocked a single eyebrow at Nick. “Looks like we better start drinking to catch up to you two. I have a feeling this is going to be a Daniel night.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m still breast-feeding, remember? I’m not going to drink.”
“Ok, then,” Ryan said. “Bring on the Scotch.” At that, he signaled the waiter and ordered himself a Dewar’s rocks and a sparkling water for me. I was off all caffeine and most sugar, as well, so I was always restricting myself to some kind of water.
“Now, tell me more about David,” Ryan said. “And when did you two start getting into that?”
“You’re jealous,” Alexis said.
And, indeed, it seemed that Ryan was jealous. I wondered if he secretly wished that he could go back to that kind of carefree lifestyle, fooling around with Nick and Alexis both. Ryan had, to my knowledge, not had any kind of intimate contact with Nick since I met him, even though I told him that I would be fine with it if he did. I did catch them kissing that one time, though, and felt strangely titillated by it all. Now, it seemed that Ryan was going to live vicariously through Nick and Alexis.
“David,” Nick began, “is a former male model who now is one of the leading architects at my firm. That’s where we met. Alexis and I had him over for dinner one night, and he was digging Alexis and me both. That’s where it all began.”
“Where have I been?” Ryan said.
“Raising a genius child, while trying to keep your wife alive,” Nick said. “Hey, I wanted to Hamptons with you guys, but apparently Iris isn’t too into that.”
I looked at Ryan quizzically. I didn’t know that was ever a topic of discussion.
“No, Iris isn’t into that. I’m not either these days. As you know, I only have eyes for my wife.”
I sipped my water and said nothing. But I wondered if Ryan wasn’t secretly wishing to have Nick stay with us, and do three-ways like in his college days.
“So, Iris, how are you doing?” Alexis asked me. “I’ve been meaning to call you. As you know, I’ve been through similar experiences.”
I knew that. She went through similar experiences with Ryan’s father, who raped her when she was young. And she knows all about drug addiction, too. But I don’t think that she had to go through losing her mind because Ryan impregnated another woman, then living with that other woman once she returned home.
I had to admit, if nothing else, my life was unique.
“I’m doing as well as could possibly be expected,” I said. “On the upside, I’ve got a truly wonderful husband and baby girl. On the downside, I have a crazy guy who wants to kill me,” I said, patting the pistol in my purse. “I guess it all balances out to neutral. Really great stuff, really bad stuff – they cancel each other out.”
“Ryan said something about that. So, your rapist wants to kill you?” Alexis inquired.
“Yeah. Or so the story goes,” I said, studying the menu. “I think I’m going to get the scallops, or maybe the seared tuna. What about you, Ryan?”
“The halibut is terrific here,” he said.
Seeing Alexis’ face, which had a rather dumb-founded expression, I explained “Ryan and I try to live as normal of a life as possible. I carry my pistol with me everywhere I go, so hopefully I can protect myself if something happens. And, really, after everything I’ve been through in this past year, very little fazes me anymore.”
“That’s a good attitude to have, I guess,” Alexis said. “And you really have to be able to roll with the punches when you’re married to Ryan. I knew that well myself.”
I nodded.
“How is Dalilah?” Nick asked.
“Dalilah is a Gallagher,” Ryan said.
“Meaning?”
“She’s a prodigy. She’s already stringing together words, reading rudimentary books, and drawing pictures on her Etch-A-Sketch and on the papers we give her.”
Alexis looked down, tears in her eyes. “Sounds like Mia,” she said.
Ryan looked sad, too, putting his hand on her hands.
I looked at Ryan. He never once mentioned that Mia was also a genius. He looked at his Scotch and said nothing.
Alexis was apparently drinking heavily, as she looked at Nick, then slapped him across the face. “You’re a fucking bastard,” she said.
“What the hell?” he asked.
“Been there, done that, not doing it again,” she mocked him.
Nick said nothing, just turned to his drink, then started talking to us while Alexis glared at him. “Anyhow, so Dalilah is a genius, huh? Sounds like her father and aunt.”
Alexis looked like she was about to haul off and hit him. Ryan and I just looked at her in mystification.
Then she stormed off without a word.
Nick rolled his eyes. “I'm remembering now why Alexis and I never really have gotten together before. She's fun in small doses, but, Christ, how did you put up with her all those years?”
“She on her meds?” Ryan asked.
“I have no idea. She's been acting strangely, really, ever since I told her that I'm going to go in for a snip and clip. She wants another baby. I don't.”
“Why are you going to get a vasectomy?” Ryan asked.
“I have my kids. Granted, Rielle hasn't been too generous in letting me see them, but they're around, and they're enough for me. The O'Hara name will continue, and that's what counts,” Nick said. “I can't go home tonight. I pretty much have to let Hurricane Alexis blow over. Do you mind if I crash with you guys tonight?”
Hmmm...maybe we can pawn him off on Nat?
Ryan looked at me skeptically. “Do you mind, beautiful?”
“Of course not. Mi casa, su casa, you know?”
We stayed at the restaurant for several hours, Ryan and Nick drinking Scotch, me drinking water. When we got home, I headed up to bed, after putting Dalilah down for the night. Ryan and Nick stayed up, talking in the living room. The baby monitor was on in Dalilah's room, but it also was on in the living room. I guess Ryan wasn't aware of this. So, I eavesdropped on their conversation.
Nick was talking. “God, you know, Ryan, I made fun of you when I met Iris. I'm starting to realize the logic in being with someone like her. Between Rielle and Alexis, I don't know who's crazier. They're hot, for sure, and well-bred, but cray-cray. I'm gettin
g it from both sides – Rielle is constantly calling, bitching and wanting something. Then Alexis is around, bitching and wanting something. I'm fucking exhausted.”
“See, I told you Iris was special. You know, when she divorced me, I had to force her to take anything at all? Then she went out and got a job at the Whole Foods, instead of taking the money I gave her. Just goes to show how wrong my sister was.”
“What? I thought that Sarah and Iris get along?”
“They do, famously. But when I was first going to marry Iris, Sarah warned me to get a pre-nup. She thought that Iris would take me for everything. Turns out I was right – Iris wants me, not my money. And I love that about her more than anything else.”
“Yeah. Perhaps I need to get out of the incestuous barrel I've been picking from, and find somebody normal. Like Iris. Yeah, she went ape-shit for awhile, but who could blame her? That poor girl sure has gone through the mill in the past year or so.”
“And is still going through it. She puts on a brave face, but I know she's scared. I've been calling my dad every day about Andrew. Dad has his people tracking him. Andrew hasn't made a move just yet, but my dad has told me that Andrew has become extremely unhinged. He's had some kind of a psychotic break. I never tell Iris about this, though. I don't want to freak her out even more.”
“How are you holding up about it?”
“I don't show it, but I'm pretty goddamned freaked out myself. I know that I could take him, if it came to that. Andrew, before his apparent psychotic break, was cunning and ruthless. He had to be in that job. But if he's out there, acting like any other crazy person, I can outsmart him. I know crazy. I've been surrounded by crazy my entire life.”
“You can't outsmart crazy. That's the whole point. People who got nothing to lose are the most dangerous of all. And, when you're truly crazy, you don't realize that you have shit to lose. Watch your ass, there, buddy. I don't want you getting hurt.”
“He's not getting Iris. That's all I know. I would literally die for that woman.”
“I know, buddy. Wish I could find a woman that I would give my life for.”
“Let's change the subject. We've got Natalie living here. You ever think about that?”
“Nat and me? We tried that, remember?”
Good god, these people are incestuous. My head was spinning. Nick, Nat, Ryan, Alexis apparently have been on the love-go-round.
“Yeah, I know. But what can I do? She won't leave. Granted, the DNA results aren't in yet. They should be in next week. But she told me that she won't leave, even if it is proven that I'm not the father.”
“Get a restraining order, and have her arrested for trespassing. Change the locks. One thing about Natalie – she won't Alexis you. She's still a sweet girl. Misguided, but sweet. She won't go ape and stalkery if you kick her out.”
“Is it wrong that I feel badly for her? I mean, Iris has been absolutely phenomenal about Natalie being here. Believe it or not, I don't think that Iris minds her here. I don't think that Iris necessarily wants Nat to stay with us forever, but she also doesn't seem to be upset that Nat isn't leaving. But I feel sorry for Nat. She's always been like a sister to me.”
“And you've always been her great love. You gotta figure out a way to get her gone. Besides, Nat almost cost you your great love. I mean, you were in an altered state when you guys slept together. She wasn't. She took advantage of you. That should piss you off enough to get tough with her.”
“I know. I should be really angry with Nat, but it's hard to be mad at her. At any rate, I guess I'll figure something out once the DNA results are in. God forbid Christopher is my kid. That will more than screw everything up.”
“You're too nice. That's always been your problem.”
“Yeah. Some problem. Anyhow, what about that David guy?”
“I don't know. He's into Alexis, but he's into me, too. He's been kinda a regular three-way partner for about a month now. Do you ever think about joining us?”
“You and Alexis? Oh, hell no. Hell to the fucking no. As you said earlier, been there, done that, got the t-shirt, not doing it again.”
“You ever think about me joining you and Iris?”
“All the time. All the time. Iris is pretty straight, though. She wouldn't be digging that at all.”
I sighed. I knew that Ryan wanted Nick in our relationship. Ryan had never told me as much, but I always suspected. I wondered if I should offer to bring Nick in on a semi-regular basis. Good, god, though, what a crazy-quilt pattern those Harvard people have formed. Nate-Ryan-Nick-Nat. Ryan-Nick-Alexis. Hell, Alexis probably was with Nate a time or two as well. Anything is possible.
With that bunch, anything is probable.
“So, why don't you talk to her about it?” Nick asked.
“I don't want to push it. We just got back together not two months ago. She's going through a lot, too, with the Andrew threat. Also, I don't know if she's going to quite know what to do with our daughter. I have a feeling that Dalilah is going to outshine all of us. Iris isn't used to that, at least not as much as I am. Dalilah's going to be a handful for us.”
“My talking about Dalilah is what set off Alexis. I dread the day that Alexis meets that child. She looks so much like Mia, it's scary. She acts just like her, too. Alexis is bound to go off the deep end. She never got over Mia, you know.”
“I didn't, either. That was probably the most devastated I've been, losing her. Dalilah seems like a miracle to me. Iris, too. Neither can entirely replace Mia, of course, but they've both gone a long way towards making me feel that life is worth living again.”
Hearing him talk about Mia broke my heart, and made me feel guilty for listening in on their conversation. So, I turned off the baby monitor from the living room, and tried to sleep. The baby monitor from Dalilah's room was still audible, however, and I heard my little daughter breathing heavily in sleep. She spoke some garbled words, too. She was like her mother that way – I have always been told that I talk in my sleep pretty constantly. That was probably the only thing that she would get from me, though. In looks and intelligence, she was clearly her father's daughter.
I couldn't sleep, though, so I knew that Ryan didn't come into our room until a couple of hours after I stopped listening in on their conversation. I had no idea what they were saying after I stopped listening, and probably didn't want to know. What I did know is that Ryan wanted Nick to get sexual with us, and didn't know how to ask me about it. While I was happy that he respected my feelings about this, I was also a little upset that he wanted that, and I didn't know if I could provide it. I wanted, more than anything, for him to be happy. I always tried to make him happy. Well, aside from the living in the drug house and taking his daughter without telling him that she existed. Yeah, those are pretty major transgressions. But I really wanted to make it all up to him, and be the best wife I could be.
“You awake?” Ryan asked, crawling into the bed next to me.
“Yar,” I said.
He got undressed, and crawled under the covers with me. He started stroking my hair, and kissing my back and neck. I was also naked, and I could feel him behind me. He was completely hard, and he entered me without a word. I felt the familiar rush, the feeling of completeness and wholeness. His hands were on my breasts, and he moved inside me rhythmically. I orgasmed, and he also did shortly thereafter. He groaned, then put his head in my hair. I could feel his heart and his breathing, both of them also audible.
I turned around to look at him. I put my hand on his cheek, and stroked it. I wanted to address some of the things I was hearing downstairs, especially the Nick-being-with-us conversation. I also wanted to talk to him about Andrew and his psychotic break. Ryan had never told me about that. He hadn't even told me that he had been in contact with his father about Andrew. He wanted to protect me, and make sure that I didn't worry, but I was feeling that I was being left out of the loop about it. I wasn't liking that one bit. However, I couldn't bring it up. I was eavesdropping, as u
sual, and I wanted him to trust me. I wasn't at all sure that he would be able to trust me if he knew that I was invading his privacy like that.
He looked at me, smoothing my hair back. He kissed my forehead. Then he was kissing my lips, and I could feel his hardness again. He always had the shortest refractory period of anybody that I have ever known. He laid on his back, bringing me on top of him, and he was inside me again, with me riding him. I brought down my head, putting it on his chest. His body was coming back after his weight loss, and he was almost back to the pecs and abs of steel that he had before he started taking on the junkie look of the past few months. I put my hands on his shoulders and chest while I straddled him as he thrusted inside me. We were like this for a little while, then I crawled down so that my genitals were in his mouth, while I sucked his hardness in a 69 position. He groaned, then shot into my mouth almost immediately.
I crawled back into my original position next to him on the bed. I put my head on his chest as he stroked my hair. “I can't get enough of you,” he said. “I mean, that was always true for me, but, since you've been back, it seems that I want to be inside you all the time. All the time. I don't know if it's because I feel like we need to make up for lost time or its-” Then he stopped.
I think I knew what was on his mind. He was afraid of losing me again. I don't think that he was exactly afraid that I was going to run again, but, at the same time, I was sure that he felt that our happiness was always fleeting. We always had moments, days, weeks that were pure bliss. Then something awful would happen, and we would end up devastated. We always had to look over our shoulder for the next thing that fate would cook up for us. We could never just relax. So, it was unspoken between us that these blissful moments we had together had to be savored.
Because they might not last very long.
I said “I know, baby. I know that you're scared. You put on a great front, but I have a feeling that you're more freaked about Andrew than you're letting on. I wish that there was some way to ease both of our minds.” I paused for a few minutes, my head on his chest, listening to his heart. I played with the hair on his chest, then asked him “What's going on with that?”
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