“No,” he said, consulting his imaginary time-table, “there is no train now, for a couple of hours, at least.”
He took up his hat and turned to go. It struck him, however, that to provide against all possible accidents it would be as well to leave some written word upon his table, and he took up a sheet of writing paper and a pen. It was remarkable that there was a good supply of the former on the table, and that the inkstand contained ink in a fluid state, as though the Count were in the habit of using it daily. He wrote rapidly, in Russian.
“This line is to inform you that Count Skariatine is momentarily absent from his lodging on a matter of urgent importance, connected with a personal engagement. He will return as soon as possible and requests that you will have the goodness to wait, if you should happen to arrive while he is out.”
He set the piece of notepaper upright, in a prominent position upon the table, and exactly opposite to the door. He did not indeed recollect that in the course of half an hour the room would be quite dark, and he was quite satisfied that he had taken every reasonable precaution against missing his visitors altogether. Once more he seized his hat, and a moment later he was descending the long flights of stairs towards the street. As he went, the magnitude of the sum of money he needed appalled him, and by the time he stepped out upon the pavement into the fresh evening air, he was in a state of excitement and anxiety which bordered on distraction. His brain refused to act any longer, and he was utterly incapable of thinking consecutively of anything, still less of solving a problem so apparently incapable of solution as was involved in the question of finding fifty marks at an hour’s notice. It was practically of little use to repeat the words “Fifty marks” incessantly and in an audible voice, to the great surprise of the few pedestrians he met. It was far from likely that any of them would consider themselves called upon to stop in their walk and to produce two large gold pieces and a small one, for the benefit of an odd-looking stranger. And yet, as he hurried along the street, the poor Count had not the least idea where he was going, and if he should chance to reach any definite destination in his erratic course he would certainly be much puzzled to decide what he was to do upon his arrival. The one thing which remained clearly defined in his shaken intelligence was that he must pay to Fischelowitz the money promised within the limit of time agreed upon, or be disgraced for ever in his own eyes, as well as in the estimation of the world at large. The latter catastrophe would be bad enough, but nothing short of self-destruction could follow upon his condemnation of himself.
A special Providence is said to watch over the movements of madmen, sleep-walkers and drunkards. Those who find difficulty in believing in the direct intervention of Heaven in very trivial matters of everyday life, are satisfied to put a construction of less tremendous import upon the facts in cases concerning the preservation of their irresponsible brethren. A great deal may be accounted for by considering what are the instincts of the body when momentarily liberated from the directing guidance of the mind. It has been already noticed in the course of this story that, when the Count did not know where he was going, he was generally making the best of his way to the establishment in which so much of his time was passed. This is exactly what took place on the present occasion. Conscious only of his debt, and not knowing where to find money with which to pay it, he was unwittingly hurrying towards the very place in which the payment was to be made, and, within a quarter of an hour of his leaving his lodging, he found himself standing on the pavement, over against the tobacconist’s shop, stupidly gazing at the glass door, the well-known sign and the familiar, dilapidated chalet of cigarettes which held a prominent place in the show window. No longer ago than yesterday afternoon the little Swiss cottage had been flanked by the Wiener Gigerl, whose smart red coat and insolent face had been the cause of so much disaster and anxiety during the past twenty-four hours. The very fact that the doll was no longer there, in its accustomed place, served to remind the Count of his rash promise to pay the money and dangerously increased the excitement which already possessed him. He wiped the cold drops from his brow and leaned for a moment against the brick wall behind him. He was dizzy, confused and tired.
The tormenting thought that was driving him recalled his failing consciousness of outer things. He straightened himself again and made a step forward, as though he would cross the street, but paused again before his foot had left the pavement. Then he asked of his senses how he had got to the place where he stood. He did not remember traversing the familiar highways and byways by which he was accustomed daily to make his way from his lodging to the shop. Every object on the way had long been so well known to him as to cause a permanent impression in his brain, which was distinctly visible to him whenever he thought of the walk in any way, whether he had just been over the ground or not. He could not now account to himself for his being so near Fischelowitz’s shop, and he found it impossible to decide whether he had come thither by his usual route or not. It was still harder to explain the reason for his coming, since the fifty marks were no nearer to his hand than before, and without them it was useless to think of entering. As he stood there, hesitating and trying to grasp the situation more clearly, it grew, on the contrary, more and more confused. At the same time the bells of a neighbouring church struck the hour, and the clanging tone revived in his mind the other impression, which had possessed it all day, the impression that his friends were at that moment arriving at the railway station. The confusion in his thoughts became intolerable, and he covered his eyes with one hand, steadying himself by pressing the other against the wall.
He did not know how long he had stood thus, when an anxious voice recalled him to outer things — a voice in which love, sympathy, tenderness and anxiety for him had taken possession of the weak tones and lent them a passing thrill of touching music.
“In Heaven’s name — what is it? Speak to me — I am Vjera — here, beside you.”
He looked up suddenly, and seemed to recover his self-possession.
“You came just in time, Vjera — God bless you. I—” he hesitated. “I think — I must have been a little dizzy with the heat. It is a warm evening — a very warm evening.”
He pressed an old silk pocket-handkerchief to his moist brow, the pocket-handkerchief which he always had about him, freshly ironed and smoothly folded, on the day when he expected his friends. Vjera, her face pale with distress, passed her arm through his and made as though she would walk with him down the gentle slope of the street, which leads in the direction of the older city. He suffered himself to be led a few steps in silence.
“Where are you going, Vjera?” he asked, stopping again and looking into her face.
“Wherever you like,” she said, trying to speak cheerfully. She saw that something terrible was happening, and it was only by a desperate effort that she controlled the violent hysterical emotion that rose like a great lump in her throat.
“Ah, that is it, Vjera,” he answered. “That is it. Where shall I go, child?” Then he laughed nervously. “The fact is,” he continued, “that I am in a very absurd position. I do not at all know what to do.”
Perhaps he had tried to give himself courage by the attempt to laugh, but, in that case, he had failed for the present. In spite of his words his despair was evident. His usually erect carriage was gone. His head sank wearily forward, his shoulders rounded themselves as though under a burden, his feet dragged a little as he tried to walk on again, and he leaned heavily on the young girl’s arm.
“What is it?” she asked. “Tell me — perhaps I can help you — I mean — I beg your pardon,” she added, humbly, “perhaps it would help you to speak of it. That sometimes makes things seem clearer just when they have been most confused.”
“Perhaps so, Vjera, perhaps so. You are a very good girl, and you came just in time. I love you, Vjera — do not forget that I love you.” His voice was by turns sharp and suddenly low and monotonous, like that of a man talking in sleep. Altogether his manner was so strange
that poor Vjera feared the very worst. The extremity of her anxiety kept her from losing her self-possession. For the first time in her life she felt that she was the stronger of the two, and that if he was to be saved it must be by her efforts rather than by anything he was now able to do for himself. She loved him, mad or sane, with an admiration and a devotion which took no account of his intellectual state except to grieve over it for his own sake. The belief that in this crisis she might be of use to him, strongly conquered the rising hysterical passion, and drove the tears so far from her eyes that she wondered vaguely why she had been so near to shedding them a few moments sooner. She pressed his arm with her hand.
“And I, too, I love you, with all my heart and soul,” she said. “And if you will tell me what has happened, I will do what I can — if it were my life that were needed. I know I can help you, for God will help me.”
He raised his head a little and again stood still, gazing into her eyes with an odd sort of childish wonder.
“What makes you so strong, Vjera? You used to be a weak little thing.”
“Love,” she answered.
It was strange to see such a man, outwardly lean, tough-looking, well put together and active, though not, indeed, powerful, looking at the poor white-faced girl and asking the secret of her strength, as though he envied it. But at that moment, the natural situation was reversed. His eyes were lustreless, tired, without energy. Hers were suddenly bright and flashing with determination, and with the expression of her new-found will. Vjera felt that all at once a change had come over her, the weak strings of her heart grew strong, the dreamy hopelessness of her thoughts fell away, leaving one clearly defined resolution in its place. The man she loved was going mad, and she would save him, cost what it might.
That Faith, no larger than the tiniest mustard seed, but able to toss the mountains, as pebbles, from their foundations into the sea, is the determination to do the thing chosen to be done or to die — literally, to die — in the trying to do it. Death is farther from most of us than we fancy, and if we would but risk all, to win or lose all, we could almost always do the deed which looks so grimly impossible. Those who have faced great physical dangers, or who have been matched by fate against overwhelming odds of anxiety and trouble, alone know what great things are done when men stand at bay and face the world, and fate, and life, and death and misfortune, all banded together against them, and say in their hearts, “We will win this fight or die.” Then, at that word, when it is spoken earnestly, in sincerity and truth, the iron will rises up and takes possession of the feeble body, the doubting soul shakes off its hesitating weakness, is drawn back upon itself like a strong bow bent double, is compressed and full of a terrible latent power, like the handful of deadly explosive which, buried in the bosom of the rock, will presently shake the mighty cliff to its roots, as no thunderbolt could shake it.
Vjera had made up her mind that she would save the man she loved from the destruction which was coming upon him. How he was to be saved, she knew not, but then and there, on the pavement of the commonplace Munich street, she made her stand and faced the odds, as bravely as ever soldier faced the enemy’s triumphant charge, though she was only a forlorn little Polish shell-maker, without much health or strength, and having very little understanding of the danger beyond that which was given to her by her love.
She fixed her eyes upon the Count’s face as though she would have him obey her.
“I will help you, and make everything right,” she said. “But you must tell me what the trouble is.”
“But how can you help me, child?” he asked, beginning to grow calmer under her clear gaze. “It is such a very complicated case,” he continued, falling back gradually into his own natural manner. “You see, my friends have probably arrived by this train, and yet I cannot go home until I have set this other matter right with Fischelowitz. It is true, I have left a word written for them on my table, and perhaps they are there now, waiting for me, and if I went home I could have the money at once. But then — it may be too late before I get here again—”
“What money?” asked Vjera, anxious to get at the truth without delay.
“Oh, it is an absurd thing,” he answered, growing nervous again. “Quite absurd — and yet, it is fifty marks — and until they come, I do not see what to do. Fifty marks — to-day it seems so much, and to-morrow it will seem so little!” He made a poor attempt to smile, but his voice trembled.
“But these fifty marks — what do you need them for to-night?” Vjera asked, not understanding at all. “Will not to-morrow do as well?”
“No, no!” he cried in renewed anxiety. “It must be to-night, now, this very hour. If I do not pay the money, I am ruined, Vjera, disgraced for ever. It is a debt of honour — you do not understand what that means, child, nor how terrible it is for a man not to pay before the day is over — ah, if it were not a debt of honour! — but there is no time to be lost. It is almost dark already. Go home, dear Vjera, go home. I cannot go with you to-night, for I must find this money. Good-night — and then to-morrow — I have not forgotten, and you must not forget — but there is no time now — good-night!”
He suddenly broke away from her side and began walking quickly in the opposite direction, his head bent down, his arms swinging by his side. She ran after him and again took his arm, and looked into his face.
“You must not go away like this,” she said, so firmly and with so much authority that he stood still. “You have only half explained the trouble to me, but I can help you. A debt of honour, you say — what will happen if you do not pay it?”
“I must die,” answered the Count. “I could never respect myself again.”
“You have borrowed this money of Fischelowitz and promised to pay it to-day? Is that it? Tell me.”
“No — I never borrowed it. No, no — it was that villain, last winter, who gave him the Gigerl—”
“And Fischelowitz expects you to pay that!” cried Vjera, indignantly. “It is impossible.”
“When I took the Gigerl away last night I promised to bring the fifty marks by to-night. I gave my word, my word as a gentleman, Vjera, which I cannot break — my word, as a gentleman,” he repeated with something of his old dignity.
“It is monstrous that Fischelowitz should have taken such a promise,” said Vjera.
“That does not alter the obligation,” answered the Count proudly. “Besides, I gave it of my own accord. I did not wait for him to ask it, after his wife accused me of being the means of his losing the money.”
“Oh, how could she be so heartless!” Vjera exclaimed.
“What was the use of telling you? I did not mean to. Good-night, Vjera dear — I must be quick.” He tried to leave her, but she held him fast.
“I will get you the money at once,” she said desperately and without the least hesitation. He started, in the utmost astonishment, staring at her as though he fancied that she had lost her senses.
“You! Why, Vjera, how can you imagine that I would take it from you, or how do you think it would be possible for you to find it? You are mad, my dear child, quite mad!”
In spite of everything, the tears broke from her eyes at the words which meant so much to her and which seemed to mean so little to him. But she brushed them bravely away.
“You say you love me — you know that I love you. Do you trust me? Do you believe in me? And if you do, why then believe that I will do what I say. And as for taking the fifty marks from me — will not your friends be here to-night, as you say, and will you not be able to give it all back very soon? Only wait here — or no, go into the shop and talk to Fischelowitz — I will bring it to you in less than an hour, I promise you that I will—”
“But how? Oh, Vjera — I am in such trouble that I could almost bring myself to borrow it of you if you could lend it — I despise myself, but it is growing so late, and it will only be until to-morrow, only for a few hours perhaps. If you will wait to-night I may bring it to you before bedtime. But �
� are you sure, Vjera? Have you really got it? If I should wait here — and you should not find it — and my word should be broken—”
“For your word I give you mine. You shall have it in an hour.” She tried to throw so much certainty into her tone as might persuade him, and she succeeded. “Where will you wait for me? In the shop?” she asked.
“No — not there. In the Café here — I am tired — I will sit down and drink a cup of coffee. I think I have a little money — enough for that.” He smiled faintly as he felt in his pockets. Then his face fell. On the previous evening, when they had led him away from the eating-house, he had carelessly given all he had — a mark and two pennies — to pay for his supper, throwing it to the fat hostess without any reckoning, as he went out. “Never mind,” he said, after the fruitless search. “I will wait outside.”
But Vjera thrust a silver piece into his hand and was gone before he could protest. And in this way she took upon herself the burden of the Count’s debt of honour.
CHAPTER X.
VJERA TURNED HER head when she had reached the corner of the street, and saw that the Count had disappeared. He had entered the Café, and had evidently accepted her assurance that she would bring the money without delay. So far, at least, she had been successful. Though by far the most difficult portion of the enterprise lay before her, she was convinced that if she could really produce the fifty marks, the approaching catastrophe of total madness would be averted. Her determination was still so strong that she never doubted the possibility of performing her promise. Without hesitation, she returned to the shop, in search of Johann Schmidt, to whose energies and kindness she instinctively turned for counsel and help. As she came to the door she saw that he was just bidding good-night to his employer. She waited a moment and met him on the pavement as he came out.
“I must have fifty marks in an hour, Herr Schmidt,” she said, boldly. “If I do not get it, something dreadful will happen.”
Complete Works of F Marion Crawford Page 427