I couldn’t explain it but seeing her lip tremble did something to me. Pulled at something inside of me, and the anger regarding her leaving diminished. Slightly. I grabbed her other arm and pulled her toward me, wrapping them around her slender frame. Her body sagged into mine and she returned my embrace. Like she needed the hug more than I needed to give it to her.
We continued our embrace and I heard the screen door shut behind us, indicating Magdalena had left to give us the privacy we needed. Well, that I needed. I had so many questions running through my mind, I didn’t know which to ask first.
She sniffled as she moved away from me, turning her back and wrapping her arms around her body.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here,” she said barely above a whisper, but not moving.
“How did you know to come here?” I asked, instantly regretting that was the first question I chose to ask her.
“I went to your parents’ house and they gave me your address. I didn’t know that I’d be imposing or I wouldn’t have come. But I didn’t have a way to call and warn you,” she admitted, turning around to face me. Looking into her eyes, I saw the sadness behind them.
“Imposing?” I question, not understanding why she’d think that.
“You and your girlfriend seemed busy. At least it looked that way since she was covered in flour.”
“Girlfriend? Oh, you mean Magdalena?” I said, still sounding dumbfounded that she’d think that.
“She’s not my girlfriend. In fact, her husband and son are just in that front room,” I quickly clarified, needing her to understand.
“Oh. I just thought….”
“You thought wrong. Now it’s my turn. Why did you leave?” I needed to know the answer because I was still baffled that she came back and was standing on my front porch.
“I had to get away. It wasn’t right for me to lean on you. You don’t even know me. Plus, I had to figure things out. We lived together, but I couldn’t afford that apartment by myself and our lease was nowhere near up. I just had a lot to figure out, and I couldn’t do it from here.”
“So why not let me know you were leaving? Why not say goodbye? Leave contact information?” I fired question after question off at her, wanting all the answers at once.
“Because it was hard enough to leave him in the ground, let alone leave him not knowing if I’d return. I don’t even know why I’m here. I just couldn’t stomach the thought at being across the country in California and him being here. It’s crazy. I sound crazy.” She stumbled through the answers nervously.
Stepping closer to her, I moved the piece of hair that had fallen over her face, letting my fingers linger on her cheek. The chill in the May night air had caused her cheeks to be cool to the touch.
“You don’t sound crazy. You sound like you’re grieving, and the only idea that made any sense or you felt comfortable doing was returning to a place your boyfriend loved,” I reassured her, hoping that I wasn’t the one who sounded like the lunatic.
“Thank you for understanding. It took longer than I thought to pack everything up and get things sorted. I didn’t realize there was so much to do when it came to moving. It’s not like I’d done it a hundred times, but I’d never moved across the country before.”
Wait. What? Moving?
“You’re moving here?” I asked, needing the clarification.
“Yes,” she whispered as she turned away from me and sat down on the front porch step.
I went to sit down beside her, but the door creaked causing my attention to be diverted to the noise instead of Delaney.
Shit.
I’d totally forgotten about Magdalena and Andrew. I was such a horrible host.
Magdalena stood in the doorway, trying not to interrupt by remaining quiet.
“I’m sorry I left y’all in there. I’m a horrible host,” I said, feeling even worse than I sounded.
“Oh hush. We don’t care. The kids were just playing. But Grace is looking pretty tired and is asking for her daddy to put her to bed. I’d do it, but she said she wanted you. Well, demanded rather,” she said with a laugh.
That didn’t surprise me at all.
“I’m going to go ahead and go,” Delaney said as she stood.
“Go where?” I asked.
“The motel on route twenty-nine,” she clarified.
“Why don’t you just stay here tonight? It’s dark and you don’t know the mountain that well. I’m actually shocked my dad didn’t follow you to make sure you didn’t get hurt while driving over here. I have a guest room that you can sleep in tonight,” I almost insisted. She didn’t need to stay there, at least not tonight, especially since I had the room here.
“I can’t impose more than I already had. I just wanted to come here and apologize for leaving the way I had and let you know that I’m back. We can get in touch in the next few days.”
“I insist,” I said as I pulled out my phone from my pocket and checked the time. It was a little after nine. I really didn’t want her driving down the mountain at this time of night.
A chuckle from behind me caused me to turn my head and glare at Magdalena.
“You might as well not argue with him. He’s relentless. I’m Magdalena by the way,” she said as she walked over with an outstretched hand to introduce herself to Delaney.
“Delaney. I’m so sorry for intruding on your evening,” she said as she shook Magdalena’s hand.
“Oh please. Don’t you worry anything about that,” Magdalena reassured her.
“Go grab your bag and come on inside. I’m going to tuck Grace in, and I’ll be right out. The living room is off to the left after you come into the house,” I said, looking at her one last time before I walked to the door, going inside and not looking back so I could tuck in Grace.
“Who’s ready for bed?” I asked as I walked into the living room. The commotion between Liam and Grace instantly ceased, both looking over at me frowning.
“I ready, Daddy. Can Liam stay the night?” she asked, poking out her lip and walking over to me.
I looked over to Andrew, hoping my silent plea for help was noticed, only he held his hands into the air, signaling that he wasn’t in this conversation.
“We’ll see. How about we go get your teeth brushed then you can come out and ask Magdalena. I don’t know what they have planned for tomorrow. But we’ve got great plans. Only you have to go to sleep to find out what they are.” I loved telling her that. She always went right to sleep because she couldn’t wait to find out the surprise.
“Yay. I love prizes,” she beamed as she skipped off in the direction of the bathroom. She climbed upon her stepstool and reached for her toothbrush. I watched her closely, allowing her the space for her independence. When she was done, she walked into her room and over to her crib, waiting for me to put her in. Forgetting about asking Magdalena if Liam could stay.
“You want a story tonight, pumpkin?” I asked because she usually walked over to the rocking chair so we could have that special time.
“I want story light tonight,” she said as she raised her arms. My mom had found this projector that put princesses onto the wall and she called it her story light.
I put her in the crib and covered her with her favorite blanket, putting it on her face just the way she liked it. I lowered the bed frame and leaned down to give her a goodnight kiss.
“Night, pumpkin,” I said as I raised the bar, making sure it was locked in its place before I turned to walk over to the bookshelf and grab the projector. I put it on her changing table and turned it on, the lights instantly illuminated onto the wall and Grace rolled over to watch.
“Night, Daddy,” she said as I walked to the entrance and turned out the light.
I shut the door behind me and walked into the living room, feeling off since we didn’t have our nightly routine, but feeling foolish over my jealousy for a light.
Magdalena and Andrew had Liam packed and ready to go, as they waited for me to come
back into the room. Delaney sat on the opposite end of the couch looking more lost than I’d ever seen her.
“Thank you for dinner. We’re going to my grandparent’s farmhouse for the night since it’s so late. We’ll get on the road in the morning and head home,” Magdalena said as she stood with a tired Liam in her arms. I looked around and all of the toys were off of the floor and in the toy box, and the television was off. That woman needed to learn she didn’t have to clean my house.
“You’re welcome. Y’all can come by anytime. You know this. Did you really clean up in here?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“You know how she is. Thanks for dinner and the laughs,” Andrew said as he stood behind his wife, leaning down to kiss her on the side of her head.
“That I do. Don’t clean my house. You’re the guest. No cleaning allowed. Sorry for not being in here for the latter part and leaving you alone with the kids. One of you text me when you get to the farmhouse. I hate people driving down the mountain late at night,” I said as I walked them to the door.
“We will. Have a good night,” Magdalena said. She turned to look at me and said, “Remember our promise, Weston? I think you’ve found your answer.” She walked down the stairs, leaving me wondering how she came to that conclusion. I’d have to remember to ask her later. And I’d also have to demand how she could hold me to promising her that I’d try to find my own happiness when we dreamed the entire conversation. Typical woman.
I walked inside once they were pulling down the driveway, locking the door behind me. I went into the living room and Delaney was looking at the picture wall that took me forever to get the way I wanted. I took out all of the pictures that Mackenzie was in so that Grace didn’t have to see them and replaced them with pictures of my family and friends. The one she stared at was one that I knew all too well. It was a picture of me, Davis, Trenton, and Miller right before Trenton left for boot camp and right before I left for college. We were all at a bonfire at Davis’ house and someone said they needed a picture of us, I can’t remember who, but we all made funny faces right before the picture was taken. I got them to email me a copy and found the print version when I was going through photo albums after the move here. I couldn’t resist hanging it, even though it broke my heart knowing he wasn’t here anymore.
I pulled her to me. Looking down at her, there were tear tracks running down her cheeks as she stared at the goofy man that she loved.
“He was always like that growing up. Happy. Even when he was angry, he’d smile. It drove us crazy sometimes because we just wanted to see him mad once. But he never showed his anger. Just smiled and acted goofy all the time. It’s one of my favorite memories, right before we all went our separate ways and had life interfere with our friendship,” I explained the picture as she rested her head on my shoulder.
“Come to think of it, I’d never seen him truly mad either. Aggravated maybe. But never mad. His goofiness is the reason I fell in love with him. It drove everyone crazy around us, but it pulled me to him for some reason. I’m usually the serious one, but that’s how we balanced our relationship,” she said as more tears fell. “I miss him so much,” she admitted as more tears fell and she started to sob. I turned her around in my arms and pulled her back against me, wishing I could hug out her pain, but knowing that she just had to feel it and experience it all in order to fully grieve.
I’d just have to hug her through her grief. Be her strength when she had none.
“I keep ruining your shirts,” she said, pulling away.
“It’s just water. No biggie. You want me to show you to your room?” I asked as she yawned.
“Please. Sorry I’m not much for company. And thank you for letting me stay. Even though I’m fully capable of driving to the inn.”
“No thanks necessary,” I said as I picked up the duffle bag in front of the entertainment center and started walking in the direction of the guest room.
She followed as we walked down the small hallway of rooms. Grace’s first, then the two other bedrooms were side by side at the end of the hall.
“My room is right next door if you need me,” I said as I opened the door and turned on the light. We both walked inside, and she took in the space as I sat the bag down on the bed.
“The bathroom is right down the hall on the right if you need it. I’ll let you get settled and we can talk in the morning,” I said as I walked to the door.
“I thought we were done talking?”
“Not by a long shot.” I walked to my room, immediately shutting the door behind me.
I needed answers. She needed to provide them. And in the meantime, I needed to try and decipher why I offered her to stay here and what her being here meant.
I took a quick shower to get the grime of the day off of me and quickly dried off, pulling on my boxers. I climbed into bed and put my arm over my eyes, hoping sleep came quickly, but knowing that my already racing mind wouldn’t make it easy.
I dozed off quicker than I thought, only to be awakened shortly afterward to screams. Her screams.
I rushed to the guest bedroom to find Delaney thrashing around on the bed. I climbed into the bed and grabbed her body from behind and held her through the nightmare. She never woke from them in the three days that she stayed at my parents’ so I always held her until she calmed.
Five minutes passed and she barely whimpered, her body went slack against my own as she fell back to sleep.
I went to leave only a hand grabbed my arm and stopped me.
“Please stay. I don’t know if I can take having that nightmare again and again and not having someone here to comfort me,” she pleaded in a sleepy voice.
I wanted to say no. Needed to say no for Grace’s sake. Only Trenton’s voice came to the forefront of my mind.
Promise me you’ll take care of her if something happens to me. She’s got no one but me.
Those words alone caused me to get back into the bed. She needed me, and I’d keep my promise. Repercussions be damned.
I laid on my back and she curled into my side, lifting up my arm to lay her head on my shoulder. I threw caution to the wind and pulled her into me. She may need my comfort, but I needed hers as well. The realization that I hadn’t had the urge to hit the punching bag once tonight came to mind as I drifted off to sleep. The last thing I heard was her whispering thank you as she got comfortable beside me.
Chapter 14
“Daddy,” I heard Grace call out, rousing me from my deep slumber. I blinked my eyes a few times before fully opening them and taking in my surroundings. Delaney was still laid beside me, her leg now thrown over top of mine, her head still laid on my shoulder, and she was softly snoring. In the few short days that I’d known her, this was the calmest I’d seen her. I turned my head fully so I could take her in. Her facial features were finally fully relaxed, no stress lines showing on her face. She finally looked peaceful. A look I’d yet to see on her.
“Daddy,” Grace called out again from her room, breaking my trance on the beautiful woman lying beside me.
I didn’t want to wake her, but if I didn’t get to Grace, she’d become irate and that would wake her anyway. Very carefully, I lifted her leg and slid1 the bottom half of my body away from her as I slowly moved my arm from underneath her head. I didn’t breathe the whole time, for fear I’d wake her and interrupt her peaceful sleep. Successfully, I moved away from her and went to the bathroom to take care of my full bladder.
After I washed my hands and quickly brushed my teeth, I left my room and went down the hall to Grace’s. I opened the door and popped my head inside, and Grace instantly spotted me, standing up in her crib; her hand still clutched her blanket and her bear.
“Daddy, up,” she demanded as she lifted both of her arms up in the air.
I walked over to the crib and got her out. Her arms and legs wrapped around my body as she pulled herself close to me. I hugged her tight relishing in the fact that she still loved to cuddle.
�
��Good morning, pumpkin,” I said as I walked over to the changing table to change her diaper.
Once she had on a fresh diaper, I pulled her pajama bottoms up and picked her up off of the table. I propped her up on my hip, picking up the soiled diaper to dispose of it.
“You ready for some breakfast?” I asked as I walked out of her bedroom and into the kitchen.
“Eggs,” Grace said as I entered the kitchen. She wiggled to get down and walked over to the chair, pulling it toward the stove.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I threw the diaper into the trash can.
“I help,” she said, and I couldn’t say no to her determination.
She stood in the chair and waited while I grabbed the eggs and sausage from the refrigerator. I grabbed a bowl and fork for the eggs and the shredded cheese, setting everything down on the counter beside the stove.
“You remember how to crack the egg?” I asked. I tapped the egg on the side of the bowl and with a small crack in the egg, I separated both sides and showed her how to carefully crack the egg.
“Yes. I try,” she said taking the egg from me. I scooted the bowl over, knowing full well that she’d make a mess, but that was the fun of it all. The memories that we were making.
Only she fooled me and cracked the egg just like I showed her. She squealed in delight and clapped her hands after she set the egg shells into the bowl I’d gotten for the trash. I didn’t have the heart to quiet her so she didn’t wake Delaney, though. Instead, I handed her another egg and waited for her to crack it.
After the eight eggs were cracked, she helped me finish getting them ready and then I put her down on the floor so I could start cooking. I didn’t like her near the stove when the burners were on.
“I’m going to turn on cartoons. Can you watch them while Daddy cooks the eggs?”
She nodded her head, her curls bouncing with each shake. She walked into the room beside me and sat down on the couch, her head resting on the armrest. I turned on the television, the channel already on cartoons from the night before. I looked over at Grace who now had her thumb in her mouth, a habit I continuously tried to break.
Conflicted (The Existing Series Book 2) Page 14