Only she didn’t get far because I was directly on her heels.
Reaching out, I grabbed her arm and spun her around, pulling her into me.
“You crazy, stupid woman. You’re not just a damn promise. A duty as you put it. Originally, I wanted to watch over you because I did promise, but it’s more than that now. It probably always was. I’ve been going insane because you’ve ignored me all week, and I don’t know what the hell that means or why I even care so much. But I do know one thing,” I said, my breath picked up the more frustrated I became.
“And what’s that?” she bit back as she tried to escape my hold.
“I can’t let you go without doing this,” I said as I brought my hands up to her face and crashed my lips down onto hers.
I expected her to slap me, knee me in my balls, but instead she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer as she moved her lips with mine. The fire ignited as I put my hands into her hair and continued to assault her mouth with mine. Consequences be damned.
She pulled away from the kiss first, both of us trying to catch our breath from the intensity of the moment.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as I attempted to gauge how she felt. Instead of waiting for a response, I decided to speak first.
“I’d say I was sorry but I’m not. Did that show you just a sliver of how much I don’t think you’re just a damn promise? I could shake you for just thinking that. I just couldn’t let you continue believing that you haven’t become more,” I admitted, knowing I was going to Hell for the way I felt, but not caring one damn bit because fighting it had become too hard.
“I don’t know what to say to that or to that kiss. It’s made me more confused than ever,” she admitted as she brought her hand to her mouth, letting her fingers linger on her swollen lips.
“Don’t say anything. Just promise me something,” I pleaded, refusing to take no for an answer.
“Maybe,” she said as she bit her lip and looked to the ground.
“Promise me you’ll let me help you figure it all out. That you’ll let me and everyone you’ve met so far be there for you. You’re not alone anymore. All you have to do is accept that you gained an enormous amount of support through Trenton even though he’s no longer here.”
“I don’t know how,” she admitted as she looked to the ground.
I brought my finger to the bottom of her chin and lifted it slightly so I could look at her when I said my next statement. Words I hoped she believed because they were the God’s honest truth.
“Lean on me and I’ll help you. I mean it, Delaney. You need the help and I’m offering. Take it. There are no strings attached. That’s just how I am.”
“But...,” she tried to object, but I put a finger over her lips to stop her.
“No buts. Don’t worry about bringing your problems into my life or how I have problems of my own. You’re no trouble at all. And you’ve unknowingly been helping me work through mine. So it’s a win-win for all of us. Just take the help and we’ll figure it out together,” I promised as I traced my finger down the side of her cheek.
No more words were spoken. She just pulled me into a hug and I took that as my answer. She told me her Jeep was parked at the end of Davis’ driveway and I drove her back. But before she got out of my truck I made her promise me that she’d let me help. She didn’t respond verbally, just nodded her head with a smile. Hopefully, she’d stick to her word, if not I’d just have to make her see reason.
I followed her until she got to the bottom of the mountain and turned around to head back home. Somehow I felt lighter after our conversation. Like some of the rage had dissipated as soon as my lips touched hers. I feared that I played that card a little too early and I may have done just that; however, I wouldn’t dwell on it. What’s done is done. And I had not one shred of regret about my actions. For the first time since Mackenzie walked away from us, I felt something I never thought I’d feel again. Hope for what the future would bring.
Chapter 18
Today was the day my plans finally started falling into place. I’d received the lease for the shop across the street from my favorite Italian restaurant. The owner decided to retire and had some things to take care of before he closed it down for good. The nice thing was that it was already an auto body shop so I wouldn’t need to change much before it could be opened for business. There were some minor repairs needed to the inside and one of the bay doors needed replacing, but that wouldn’t take much money or time to fix. Then I’d finally be able to leave the city behind. It would feel so great knowing I wasn’t far from Grace if she needed me.
I’d texted Delaney, Andrew, and Magdalena about getting together tonight to celebrate, and they all agreed. My mom and dad were also going to join us so I didn’t have to drive all the way back to Nelson County to have to drive back here. That would be a long hour and a half.
I looked over the lease one last time, making sure I’d signed on every dotted line that had been marked before I used the fax machine in the office of my current place of employment and sent it to the relator. Once she received the lease and first month’s rent payment, which I intended to drop off tomorrow, the shop would officially be mine come the first of next month. Based on my calculations it would take me four months to get the shop the way I wanted to before it would be ready to be opened for business. It would be hard work and take long hours, but so worth the reward in the end.
“I’m heading off for the day,” I called out to my coworkers, throwing the soiled grease cloth onto my toolbox. Somehow they always got left in my back pocket. I grabbed the bag I’d brought in with me from beside my toolbox, and went to the bathroom to change out of my grease-stained clothes.
Once I was changed into the jeans and t-shirt, I threw the dirty clothes into the bag, throwing it over my shoulder and headed out to my truck.
The restaurant that we were all meeting at wasn’t too far from my work. Maybe ten minutes depending on traffic. Luckily, it was one of those places that served an assortment of dishes so it would have something everyone would want. We weren’t a picky bunch, but it made dinner a lot easier when people had options.
I pulled into the parking lot and looked around for their vehicles, but none looked familiar. It was odd that I was the first one to arrive, but I pulled into the empty parking space and decided I’d just go inside and get our name on the waiting list. We’d need a table for eight and sometimes that could take a while to obtain.
Surprisingly, after I’d given the hostess my name and party count, within minutes she signaled to me to follow her. I sat down at the table she led me to and pulled out my phone, checking to see if I had any messages and to check the time.
“You’re actually the first one here,” I heard my mom say gaining my attention from my phone. Grace had her head down on my mom’s shoulder and her thumb in her mouth looking as though she’d just woken up.
I stood and pulled the chair out for my mom and ruffled Grace’s hair as my mom sat down.
She made a grumbling noise and swatted my hand away, which wasn’t like her.
“She’s been in a foul mood today. Nothing has pacified her. Dinner should be a joyous occasion tonight,” my mom said in a sarcastic tone.
“Sorry about that, Mom. Thank you both for coming,” I said as I looked between them both.
“No problem, son,” my dad replied, taking off his hat and putting it on his knee.
We were making idle chit chat when the rest of the gang arrived. Liam walked up to my mom and tried to get Grace’s attention, but not even seeing her best friend seemed to make her happy. I’d have to talk to my mom and see if anything set her off today or if she’d made it known what she was in such a bad mood about.
We all greeted each other and everyone found seats at the table. Conveniently everyone left the seat next to me empty so Delaney had no other choice to sit beside anyone but me. I wasn’t complaining, though. When she was around, I found a sense of calm.
“Mom, Dad, you remember Delaney. This is Magdalena, Andrew, and their son Liam. I know you’ve heard me talk about all of them,” I said as I introduced them. My momma didn’t raise me to be rude and not introduce my guest.
“Honey, we’ve all already met,” she said, but I didn’t recall when they would’ve met Magdalena and her family. My mom gave me a sideways glance and a “you should know what I’m talking about” look and it clicked. They’d met when Magdalena and Andrew brought Grace home the day after Trenton’s accident. I nodded my head to let her know I understood.
The waitress came and took our drink and food orders since we all knew what we wanted by the time she came over. I glanced over at Delaney who seemed lost in thought as she stared over at something across the restaurant. I followed her gaze and found her staring at a family with a baby. Delaney had a sad expression on her face. Without wanting to put her business out there, I patted her on the knee and let my hand rest there. Her hand came down on top of my own and she gave it a gentle squeeze, her gaze never leaving the happy family.
“Well, I brought everyone here tonight to celebrate me finally obtaining the lease on the property I’d been waiting to come available as you all already know. Thanks for coming out. I know it’s a work night, but I just couldn’t wait to share my news with everyone. In about four months, Corbin Auto would be up and running for business, finally,” I announced.
Everyone congratulated me and asked me all sorts of questions about what I had planned once it was open and what type of services I’d be offering. I explained everything, pouring my heart out in my answers. I was extremely proud that this dream was coming to fruition in the midst of all the pain and heartache.
The whole time, my hand remained unseen underneath the table on top of her knee and her hand remained on mine. Even when the waitress brought all of our food, I ate with one hand, refusing to take away my comfort and support at the thoughts I hoped she’d explain later.
Throughout dinner, we all discussed plans for the upcoming summer and how I planned to fit in working at both places. Everyone tried to get Grace to eat, but she refused. When I tried to take her from my mom so she could eat her dinner, she threw a fit so I just gave in and let her stay where she was. My mom maneuvered her so she could comfortably eat and the conversation resumed.
We all lost track of time as we enjoyed each other’s company and if it weren’t for Liam almost falling asleep, we would’ve continued to talk. I checked the time and it was nearly nine, which meant everyone but Magdalena and Andrew had a long forty-five-minute drive ahead of them.
After I had received numerous refusals, I paid the check in its entirety and we all set off to leave.
Grace wiggled out of my mom’s arms and walked in front of us out of the restaurant. As I said goodbye to Magdalena, Andrew, and Liam, I heard Delaney call after Grace, asking her to wait for me or my parents’ before she walked into the parking lot.
“No. You’re not my mommy. I not listen to you,” Grace screamed, and I turned around and immediately headed over to her. She’d never yelled like that at anyone, let alone said anything about her mom in months. I don’t know why she’d do such a thing now, but I was going to put a stop to her behavior. Grace had her back to everyone and was standing at the edge of the sidewalk with her arms crossed and tapping her foot, something she’d just started doing when she got mad.
When I was a few feet away from her, Delaney signaled for my mom and dad to wait. Instead of continuing toward her, I stopped to see what would take place.
My mom and dad walked to where I stood and we waited together to see how all of this would play out.
“She’s been asking for her all day. When I told her time and time again that she couldn’t see her, she became madder than the time before. She refused to take a nap other than the little one she got on the way here. I don’t even know what brought it on. She started asking for her after breakfast and hadn’t stopped until we got here,” my mom informed me while I continued to stare at Delaney and Grace.
Delaney knelt down beside Grace and rubbed her hand up and down your arm.
“Do you miss your mommy, Grace?” Delaney asked.
Instead of verbalizing her reply, Grace nodded her head and looked away from her.
“I miss my mommy all of the time, too. It’s okay to miss her. But I’m not trying to be your mommy. I just want to be your friend if you’ll let me. You wanna know what the cool thing about me being your friend is?” Delaney asked, lacing her tone with excitement.
Grace turned toward her and nodded her head again, this time, her mood seemed to have lifted as her body stance wasn’t as tight as it was before.
“Friends buy each other presents and eat ice cream together. How cool is that? But it has to be okay with your daddy first,” Delaney replied, actually getting a smile out of Grace.
Delaney opened her arms for Grace to enter her embrace and shockingly my brooding daughter entered them returning the hug.
Delaney picked her up and walked toward us, bouncing Grace up and down on her hip as she walked. Grace giggled and threw her head back causing us all to smile and laugh.
I pulled Delaney to my side and thanked her for what she’d just done. Hopefully, Grace wouldn’t have many more of these outbursts about Mackenzie. I didn’t know how much more I could take seeing my daughter hurt for a woman who’d walked away from her.
Chapter 19
Since I signed the lease, everything had been pure chaos. I hadn’t found a balance between my day job, coming home to Grace, and getting work done at the new place. There weren’t enough hours in the day to do what needed to get done. I needed there to be three or four more of me to feel like I’d accomplished a sliver of what needed to be done.
Delaney had been busy as well. Between work and trying to find a place she liked, she didn’t have time for much else. Including coming over the way she used to. Sometimes I wondered if this was her excuse to avoid me. But in her defense, I hadn’t been home much.
My parents’ and brothers had been a godsend with agreeing to watch Grace a few nights a week so I could put in extra hours at the new shop. Only at the end of the day, I felt like a horrible father because I wasn’t around as much as she was used to. I just had to keep reminding myself that it wasn’t going to be forever and in the end, this new journey in our life would be for the better.
Tonight, however, I’d decided that I needed a break. Working non-stop had begun to take a toll on me. So I texted Delaney when I got home and asked her if she wanted to come over so we could catch up. We hadn’t had much time to talk about anything too important since that night I found her in the road, and even then there were still things that hadn’t been said.
If I said that I hadn’t thought about the kiss that had occurred between us since that night, I’d be lying. I’d thought about it way more than I should. There was a war raging in my mind about whether pursuing her in that way would be worth it. But every time I tried to talk myself out of it, something made me stop and list all the reasons it was a good idea. I thought I wouldn’t want to start seeing anyone for a long time, but there was something about Delaney that made me want more out of life. Wanting to find that special someone that I was meant to be with. Only the guilt would creep in for wanting the woman my best friend loved.
Shaking my head out of those crazy thoughts, I went in the bedroom to check on Grace. She’d gone in there to get a doll but hadn’t returned.
When I opened the door, I halted my steps and smiled. She was laying on the floor with her blanket and her bear with her butt up in the air sound asleep. My dad told me that they’d played hard today and apparently her body was too tired to stay awake any longer.
I picked her up off the floor, hoping that I didn’t wake her and laid her down in her crib. Giving her a kiss on the head, I covered her with the blanket just the way she liked and tucked the bear under her arm. Luckily, when we first got home I’d washed her down and put on her pajamas or else
I’d be fighting to change her clothes. I turned the light out walked out of the door, carefully shutting it behind me.
It was just a little after seven and Delaney should be here any minute. I grabbed a beer, popped the top off of the bottle, and took a long sip. The cool liquid felt good going down the back of my throat and tasted even better.
I walked over to the back door and opened it, allowing the freshness of the night air to assault my senses. I stepped out onto the deck, closing the door so I didn’t attract any bugs and took in my surroundings. The sun was setting off in the distance just behind the mountains, and I couldn’t help but admire its beauty.
I was so lost in thought that I didn’t hear her come up behind me. The only inclination that she’d arrived was when she put her hands over my eyes. “Guess who?” she whispered softly.
I laughed and turned around, wrapping my arms around her. She rested her head on my chest and relaxed into my embrace. For a few long moments, neither of us moved. We just stood there on my back deck wrapped in each other’s arms. Something that shouldn’t feel as right as it did.
She pulled back and looked up at me. I took in the sight of her in her midnight blue scrubs with the hospital logo on the front. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she didn’t have any makeup on her face. When I looked at her lips, I had to turn my head away quickly because there was no way in hell I’d focus on those. If anything ever happened again in that regard, it would be after we talked about it first.
In great detail.
“Did you just come from work?” I said as I backed away from her and took a swig of the beer that I still held in my hand.
“Yeah, I didn’t have time to change before I left work, so you get me in these grungy old things tonight,” she said with a smile.
Conflicted (The Existing Series Book 2) Page 19