Just One Kiss

by Amelia Whitmore

“Where’s the farthest away you applied to?”

  “California.”

  “And the closest?”

  “U of M,” I answer.

  “So you could stay in Minnesota?” he asks, hopefully.

  I nod. “Yeah, but I’m not so sure about the majors there. I mean, I’m really interested in the Duluth campus, but that’s mostly the scenery.” I pause to think. “But the winters are so much worse up there. I hate winter,” I frown.

  “Is that why you applied to California?”

  I nod. “But I don’t know how I’d do with warm weather all the time. So I looked into San Francisco, but it’s so foggy there, from what I heard. I looked at Seattle, but it rains constantly. I’m not quite an East Coast type of girl, so those schools were out of the question. Arizona is just way too hot. Salt Lake City smells bad. If I moved to Texas, I’d develop an accent. I thought Chicago might be nice, but none of the colleges called to me. I refused to move to a state people say is an acronym for ‘Idiots Out Walking Around.’” I realize I’m rambling and take a deep breath. It also occurs to me that a major deciding factor of what school I wanted to go to was the weather. I’m so crazy. I suddenly remember the cruel statement someone made when I’d introduced Brayden. “Nothing really made me want to leave, but there’s not much here making me stay.”

  There’s a small silence. “I have a question,” Brayden says warily. “It might be awkward for you to answer, since right now we’re only friends with feelings, but now that you know me, has your decision process changed?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, am I a reason for you to stay?” There’s emotion in his voice, but I can’t tell what it is.

  I think about it for a moment and, in the middle of my thoughts, I see Molly’s white Chevy Cobalt pull up the driveway. Without thinking, I jump up and start running toward her. She gets out of the car and meets me halfway. It’s silly, but we haven’t seen each other in forever. Our arms lock around each other as we spin around, giggling like idiots.

  “It’s about time! I haven’t seen you in forever!” I squeal.

  “I know! Did you see the video I sent you the other day? Those guys were totally hitting on me!” she exclaims.

  I laugh and grab her bag. “Oh my God, I know! What were they even listening to?” I ask, remembering the goofy video. Two Hispanic guys had pulled up alongside Molly on the highway and were dancing like monkeys to their blasting music. They’d wave to the camera and blow her a kiss every once in a while.

  “Um, I don’t know. I was too busy laughing my ass off to actually notice,” she says.

  I laugh. “And what was with that phone call afterward? You didn’t say anything, just kind of . . . gurgled.”

  “Oh, I totally butt dialed you,” she admits with a smile. We both burst out laughing. It was so Molly. We quickly throw her things into the house before I take her hand and pull her back outside. “I’ve got two people for you to meet,” I say, calling Ro over as we head to Brayden. She gets to him at the same time that we do.

  “Okay, Molly, meet Ro and Brayden. This is my cousin Molly,” I say, smiling proudly as I swing our hands between us.

  “It’s so good to meet you!” she says to Ro. “Annie’s right, your hair really is bright purple. I kind of thought she was yanking my chain or something.”

  “Nope, my hair is my pride and joy,” Ro says, laughing.

  Molly turns toward Brayden. “It’s nice to meet you too. I really want to sit and talk, but we’ll do that later. I have a game of football I need to go kick ass in.” She laughs and waves before running off with Ro to join the game.

  I’m smiling as I sit back down where Brayden’s holding the blanket up for me. “Sorry about running off like that, but I’ve missed her so much,” I say, still grinning like an idiot.

  “I love that smile,” he whispers in my ear, making me blush and feel warm all the way to my toes.

  “Good, that makes us even,” I whisper back, giggling.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Just Desserts

  After the game, we all head inside and sit around the very long table that Mom, Nana, and Lyle put together. It’s filled with all different kinds of food, with barely any room left for the place settings. Brayden and I sit on the end with Ro, Molly, Lena, Smith, and Matt. Dad’s sitting at the head of the table beside us. He begins with grace and we all go around saying what we’re thankful for.

  Mom, Nana, and Aunt Jamie all say something about how thankful they were that we’re all together. Most people say something cheesy about being alive for yet another year and for family. When it’s my turn, I say, “I’m thankful for all of the positivity coming into my life recently.” Brayden squeezes my hand under the table.

  Before Brayden can go, Lori interrupts. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I look up, surprised. “It just means that, until I met Ro, the people I work with, and Brayden, there was only Molly who made me feel like I wasn’t diseased.”

  “Whatever, nobody can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them. It’s your own fault,” she responds harshly.

  I gasp. “Are you kidding me? Is that what you tell yourself at night so you don’t feel like such a bitch?”

  Everybody gasps. I’m not the kind of person that normally defends myself but I guess I’ve taken on a bit of a different attitude lately. “Why would you call me a bitch?” she asks, clearly insulted.

  “You’re always telling me how fat I am, and how I should lose some weight. You all are. Do you guys have any idea how much it sucks to hear that you’re overweight all the time? To constantly be made to feel bad about myself?” I ask, blushing severely as I look around the table.

  “You aren’t fat but, well, you could lose some weight,” one of the guys at the end of the table helpfully points out.

  I’m tearing up as I hear Brayden respond for me. “Are you serious right now?” He looks down at me. “Can’t you people see how beautiful Anna is? Inside and out? I only met her a few weeks ago and she’s already so important to me. I couldn’t begin to imagine a life without her.

  “Since the day we met, she’s been telling me how ugly she is. How undeserving she is of my attention. And now I understand why. It’s all because of you. You’ve torn her down until she feels empty and like nobody could ever love her. Like she doesn’t deserve it or something.

  “Annie deserves the world. And she most definitely doesn’t deserve people like you in her life, telling her she isn’t beautiful. She’s the most perfect person I’ve ever met,” he proclaims earnestly, making the tears I was barely holding in stream down my cheeks.

  There’s silence around the table until Dad quietly asks, “Is that really how you feel, Banana?”

  I give a harsh laugh and wipe some of my tears. “How can it not be? You’re all always telling me how imperfect I am. Why would I be so much better if I were skinny? I’d still be me. Do you know that yesterday was the first time that an adult talked about my body like it’s a good thing? And you can bet that it wasn’t one of you. I’m not overweight; I just have a different body type than you. I have a large frame and hips. The ‘fat’ that you guys see is my body’s way of doing crazy things like keeping me warm in the winter and carrying a child to full term healthily.”

  I take a shuddering breath before speaking again. “Why is it that Brayden and his family can make me feel more welcome in their home than I have ever felt in mine?” After that, I can’t speak anymore so I push away from the table and walk solemnly outside. I quickly see the error in my ways, since it’s freezing, but I refuse to go back in there. I start walking down my driveway when I hear Brayden call out my name. Turning, I see him running toward me with my jacket in his hands.

  When he reaches me, I let him help me put it on before he pulls me to his chest and I cry. The entire time, he just rubs my back and murmurs that it’ll all be okay. My arms are locked around his back as tight as I can possibly get them. “I’m s-so
sor-ry. I ru-ruined everything a-ah-again,” I sob, unable to stop my tears.

  “Shh,” he whispers, “It’s okay to let it out.” I shake my head but I can’t stop clinging to him tearfully.

  Once I’ve finally started to calm down, I pull back a little and look up. Brayden’s looking down at me with the gentlest expression I’ve ever seen on him. I feel the large pads of his thumbs as he brushes my tears away. “Why do I always cry around you?” I ask, my voice shaking.

  He gives me a small grin as he says, “Believe it or not, I’m taking it as a compliment.”

  I arch my eyebrow. “Why is that?”

  “Because it means you’re comfortable enough around me to let that wall down. I daresay you trust me a little bit.” I blush and look down. His index finger goes under my chin and slowly nudges my face up. His lips meet mine for a sweet kiss, letting me know how much he appreciates every time I let my wall crumble for him. I kiss him back, hoping it’s giving him the same butterflies as I have.

  After a bit of this, we pull apart and stare at each other. “Brayden?”

  “Hm?”

  “Can we just go to your house early? I don’t want to go back inside,” I say, looking up hopefully at him.

  He nods and smiles. “They’d love to see you.”

  I grin, digging into my back pocket, and then hand him the keys. He laughs and takes my hand as we walk to my car.

  ***

  Walking inside Brayden’s house always fills me with a sense of calm. It’s like all is right in the world as soon as the scent of their potpourri hits my nose. “Lucy, we’re home!” Brayden yells out in an excellent Ricky Ricardo accent, making me laugh.

  Adrienne’s happy voice comes from around the corner, getting louder as she comes closer. “What on earth are you guys doing here? You weren’t supposed to come until lat—“ Her voice trails off as soon as she sees me, giving us a concerned look.

  I bite my lip, realizing that I never checked my makeup before we came inside. I must have mascara streaks on my face. “Are you okay?” she asks softly.

  I blush and nod my head. “I think I’ll just go to the bathroom real quick,” I say, shuffling past her. I keep my head down so nobody will see my face until I get there. I sigh at my puffy, red eyes. I’ve never been a pretty crier. It doesn’t help that there are black marks running down my cheeks. I wash my face off with some cold water, hoping it helps to bring down the puffiness. Once I’m satisfied that there’s no makeup left, I leave the bathroom, only to bump into Brayden.

  “Oh. I’m sorry,” I say, grabbing his arms before I can trip.

  He catches me at my waist and helps steady me. “You okay?”

  I smile up at him. “I am now.” My ears turn red when I realize how cheesy I sound.

  “Good,” he responds with his grin before kissing me. This kiss is a lot happier than the one we shared earlier. It’s much shorter too.

  “Come on, let’s go eat,” he says, holding my hand as we walk to the table.

  ***

  “So you’re saying that you’ve never had a piece of pumpkin pie? Like in your entire life?” Landon asks me, sounding appalled.

  I grin and shake my head. “Never,” I say adamantly.

  “But, why?” I have to laugh at how serious he is.

  I shrug. “I always assumed it’d taste like a pumpkin smells when you’re cutting it up. Doesn’t it?”

  “No, not at all!” he denies quickly, handing me his piece with a large amount of whipped cream on top. I look at it skeptically before taking a small bite. I’m surprised at how good it is.

  “Oh, this tastes just like my Nana’s zucchini bread!” I exclaim in amazement.

  He narrows his eyes at me. “You’ve tried zucchini bread, but you wouldn’t try pumpkin pie?”

  I laugh and nod my head as I take another, larger, bite of his pie. He looks horrified and quickly steals it back. “Get your own!” he admonishes, laughing.

  I smile as Adrienne hands me a piece with more whipped topping than Landon’s. He looks jealously at it. “It was supposed to be yours for being nice and giving your first piece to Anna, but then you were selfish, so it’s hers now,” she tells him pointedly.

  Brayden and I laugh when Landon grumbles and takes an enormous bite of his own treat.

  My time at their house has been amazing. The group was much smaller, for starters, with only his Gramma Ann—a weird coincidence that our names were so similar—and his Grampa Bob. They refused to let me call them Ann and Bob. It had to be Gramma and Grampa. The day was spent laughing around the table, talking, drinking coffee, and playing with the kids outside.

  Zander kept asking for presents, still not getting that this was a holiday to be thankful for what you have, not what you get. It was cute, though. I held Nora for the first time, which was awesome. She’s so adorable, and completely different than Zander. Nora is really laid back and calm, taking everything in around her with a silent, peaceful acceptance. Zander, however, is a ball of energy who looks at everything with a newfound excitement and curiosity.

  Being around Brayden and his family really makes me wish that I could be a real part of it. Maybe it was time to reconsider our arrangement . . .

  Chapter Sixteen

  What Just Happened?

  After dessert, we all sit around the TV to watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, which is a family tradition for them. Brayden and I are curled up together under a blanket on the loveseat. My head is resting on his shoulder, which has quickly become my favorite pillow. I feel my eyes slowly slipping shut during the movie until I’m being lightly shaken.

  “Hm?” I ask with a sigh.

  “Annie, come on, let’s go to bed,” Brayden says, helping me stand.

  I shake my head. “No, I’ve got to go home. Molly’s waiting for me.” My eyes start drifting shut as I stand by him.

  “You can’t drive home like this. Come on, I’ll call Molly for you and explain,” he says, holding his hand out.

  I reach in my pocket and hand him my phone before following him sleepily to the bedroom. He moves to the dresser and pulls out a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. “Wear these to bed and I’ll go call Molly.” I nod and begin pulling my clothes off as he leaves the room. I don’t give any thought at all to how I’d look in them, wanting only to fall into bed. After crying, I’m always tired. Add on turkey and playing with little kids and I’m truly exhausted.

  Without waiting for him, I crawl in and scoot until I’m against the wall. I barely feel Brayden climbing in beside me before I fall asleep again.

  I wake up when I feel something touching my cheek. Opening my eyes, I see Brayden staring at me. The look he’s giving me is so serious, something Brayden hardly ever shows. I realize that his hand is caressing my cheek, his thumb slowly tracing my lips. I pucker my lips and kiss it, causing his eyes to go even darker than normal.

  Moving forward, his lips cover mine in the most delicious way. They move slowly, prodding mine to move too. With a low moan, I return his kiss, feeling very suddenly warm all over when he groans in return. This is deeper and more sensual than any of our other kisses, even the one in the snow in front of the banquet hall.

  My right hand, which is tucked slightly under my body, moves to touch his chest while my left hand runs through his hair, lightly pulling him even closer. When I feel his tongue on my upper lip, my hand squeezes, pulling harder against his head. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt anybody else’s tongue and I’m surprised by the feeling. It feels weird and not at all how I expected it to be, but it feels really nice at the same time. His warm breath mingles with mine as I explore his mouth for the first time.

  Without knowing exactly how it happened, I realize that I’m now underneath Brayden with both of my hands in his hair. My legs are opened slightly with his in between them so his body fits against mine like a puzzle piece. I feel his fingers slowly sliding up my shirt, sending goose bumps across my spine as they move up and down my sides.

 
I moan slightly when his fingers rub against my bare breast. I took off my bra before climbing in bed. Part of me knows I should stop, but a larger part of me doesn’t want to. It feels too right. Brayden somehow manages to deepen the kiss, killing whatever thoughts I’m having until I only focus on him and the feelings he’s evoking in me.

  My hands work down his back until they’re pulling his shirt up and over his head, leaving him bare chested against me. My fingers trace over his muscular shoulders and chest until I’m moving over his abs feeling the rise and fall of each of them as I move down. When I reach the waistband of his boxers, which is all he slept in for bottoms, I lightly and curiously move my fingers along the edge and feel him shiver above me.

  Almost urgently, he moves my shirt up my body, both of his hands tenderly learning my breasts as he raises it over them and above my head. I gasp at the feeling of his skin on mine; he’s always so warm against me, especially now. Slowly, as if afraid I’ll suddenly realize what’s happening and push him away, he begins moving his hips against mine. The feeling of him, hardened against my core, leaves me breathing heavily while he pulls back and pushes against me again. It feels more intimate than anything in my entire life, even though we’re both still wearing bottoms.

  He continues pushing against me, making my brain foggy and my stomach clench each time I feel him. My breathing actually becomes shaky, with a tightening in the pit of my stomach, and Brayden starts moving more deliberately, touching me more firmly with each thrust. Together, we work to remove the rest of our clothes and I begin lifting my hips to meet his, unconscious of my actions until something wonderful happens, leaving me whimpering in his arms. Brayden grabs something from his bedside stand then looks deeply into my eyes. “Anna, are you sure you want this?” he asks.

  At the moment, there are no negative thoughts in my mind. No questions about tomorrow or the definition of our relationship, or even if I’m prepared. All I know is that I’ve never felt this way in my life and I refuse to let it end because I’m too much of a coward to step forward. So I nod my head. “I’m positive,” I answer, circling my arms around his neck. He takes me to places I’ve never been before.