Just One Kiss

by Amelia Whitmore

  “Do you need any help with that?” I hear from the other side of the box I’m looking through. Glancing up, I roll my eyes when I see who’s asking.

  “No, Sam, I don’t. Thanks for the offer, though,” I answer politely.

  “Um, are you sure? Because you’ve been looking for something for the past fifteen minutes,” he says, as he stuffs his hands in his pockets.

  “I’m positive,” I answer shortly before starting to dig through the box again.

  “Please?” he says.

  I sigh. I really could use some help. “Sure,” I concede eventually.

  “Thanks,” he says, a smile lighting up the face I was once obsessed with. I’m glad to find that it has absolutely no effect on me anymore. He crouches down next to me and apparently decides that letting him help also signaled that I was dying for conversation.

  “So, how you been?” he asks, opening up another box.

  I ignore him, even though every polite part of me cringes at the action. He clears his throat and asks, “Anna, you okay?”

  I look over at him and nod, still not saying anything.

  “Well, um, did you hear what I asked before that?” he asks, sounding uncomfortable.

  I roll my eyes. “Yes, I heard you,” I assure him.

  “Would you mind answering me?” Normally that would sound snappy, but it seems like he’s being genuine.

  Taking a deep breath, I say, “I actually do mind a little. But I’ve been great.” A small smile forms on my lips as I think about Brayden.

  “Oh . . . good.” He nods.

  I nod back, feeling just a tiny bit bad for not asking him how he’s been in return. I may be working on forgiving him, but that doesn’t mean I’m about to forget. I think the saying “forgive and forget” is complete crap. Yes, it’s positive and healthy to forgive, but forgetting? Never forget. There is a lesson to learn in every experience, and forgetting would mean dishonoring all the pain you survived.

  After a few minutes of sitting in silence, snowflakes nowhere to be found, Sam starts talking again. “Look, I wish I cou . . .” I zone out on what he’s saying to me when I hear a familiar voice behind me.

  “Is Anna in here?”

  “Anna?” I hear someone ask.

  “Anna Holden,” the voice responds.

  “Oh, that Anna. She’s right over there, with the boxes and that guy.”

  I jump up and head toward Brayden, giving him a hug and a kiss before stepping back. “What are you doing here?” I ask, happy and surprised. We weren’t supposed to hang out until later.

  “I missed you,” he replies simply, giving me a sweet smile.

  I grin. “I missed you too, but you didn’t have to come to my school,” I tell him, shaking my head.

  “Of course I did. I like your outfit, by the way,” he says, holding me at arm’s length for an appreciative once-over. I laugh and spin for him. He mentioned in passing that he, for some reason, likes button-up shirts on girls. Last night when Ro and I were shopping, I saw one with tiny gray and black checkers on it. I matched it with my favorite pair of skinny jeans, dark beige flat ankle boots, and a mixed pastel scarf. Everything that I’m wearing, other than the jeans, is new.

  “Thank you, I hoped you would,” I gush happily. I’m definitely not the type of girl who only buys things her guy likes. I loved the shirt as soon as I saw it; it’s just a huge bonus that Brayden likes it too.

  He pulls me back to his side and looks around. “What’s happening in here?”

  “The winter formal is Sunday, so we’re getting an early start on decorations,” I answer.

  “Are you going?” he asks.

  I give him a weird look. “No, definitely not. I hate school dances.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Um, because?” I answer, not sure what the real answer is.

  “Well we should go,” he says, nodding his head once as though to confirm the idea as a plan.

  “No, I don’t think we can,” I answer.

  “We’re going,” he tells me, smirking when I give him a doubtful look.

  “I don’t have a dress or shoes,” I tell him.

  “I’ll handle that too,” he assures me.

  “Brayden, you can’t just handle everything on your own,” I tell him, putting a hand against his stomach, which is firm and delightful under his shirt.

  “Dear,” he says in a condescending tone that I know is fake, “I can handle anything. Now, on to more important issues; who was that guy you were talking to?” he asks, nodding his head toward the boxes.

  “That’s Sam Erickson,” I tell him with a scowl. I feel his body stiffen and I stifle a groan. I should’ve lied. Brayden’s had a tendency to get a tiny bit overprotective lately. It’s endearing most of the time, but occasionally it can get annoying.

  “Why the hell are you talking to that fu . . . prick?” He asks, not liking to swear in front of me.

  “He offered to help. We weren’t really talking, he was just trying to,” I explain.

  “Well I don’t like it,” he says, still glaring at Sam.

  “Bray, don’t even worry about it. He’s apologized and I’m trying to forgive him. I can’t hate him forever.”

  “The hell you can’t. What he did was awful, Anna. How can you just act like it never happened?” he asks, almost too distracted to notice my glare. When he does, I see him gulp.

  “If you think that I will ever just act like it never happened, then you don’t know me very well,” I tell him, trying to take a step away from his side. He doesn’t let me go, though. In fact, his arm tightens to keep me close.

  “I’m sorry. I do know you,” he whispers, looking into my eyes.

  I nod, still a little put off. “Sam did something that will be with me for the rest of my life. I’d just like to grow from it rather than lose myself in it,” I say quietly, looking down. I’ve become so much stronger in the past couple of months, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still hurt. “And that’s a recent development,” I admit quietly.

  “Baby, I know,” he says, tipping my face up and pressing his lips softly against mine. With another quick peck, he pulls back and smiles warily, clearly wondering if we were okay now.

  I grin and begin pulling on his hand, leading him to the huge mound of boxes. “Okay, so we’re looking for a box with glittery snowflakes in it,” I inform him, sending him over to a few boxes that haven’t been opened yet.

  He groans, “If I knew you’d make me work, I wouldn’t have joined you.”

  I laugh and shrug my shoulders. “Too bad.”

  When I see Sam’s face, it’s clear that he’s wondering who Brayden is. Then, as I look around the gym, I notice that everybody looks that way. A little awkwardly, I say, “Sam, this is my boyfriend, Brayden. Brayden, this is Sam.”

  I watch his eyes widen when I say boyfriend, and I get a bit of smug satisfaction from that. “Boyfriend? Uh, it’s nice to meet you.” He stands to shake Brayden’s hand, which I find weird. I mean, I can see my father or brother doing something like that, but Sam?

  Brayden gives him the fakest smile I’ve ever seen. It looks completely wrong on his handsome face, but he grabs his hand. I see Sam’s fingertips go red and then white, and his face scrunches up a little bit until Brayden lets go. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Sam,” Brayden practically gags with disgust at Sam’s name.

  I’m just standing here with wide eyes, completely shocked to see Brayden be physically hurtful to somebody. “I’m sorry, Sam,” I murmur quietly. “He’s a bit mad at you for last year.” I really don’t owe him any explanation, but any kind of bullying feels wrong to me. Brayden and I are going to have a talk about that.

  “It’s fine. I deserved it.” He sighs before going back to the box he was working on.

  “No you didn’t,” I say before shooting a glare at Brayden, who just looks confused.

  Finally, I find the snowflakes and hand them off to the people working on ladders. I can go home now. With
a last good-bye to Sam, whom I now feel a bit bad for despite everything, and Ro, I walk outside with Brayden close behind me.

  “Annie, what’s wrong?” he finally asks as we shuffle into the freezing weather. I disappear into my leather jacket for warmth, seriously considering wearing my parka from now on.

  “Don’t even pretend like you don’t know,” I scold, just loud enough to be heard.

  “What? I don’t. Are you on the rag or something?” he asks, making me stop and spin toward him, sending daggers into his face with my eyes.

  “Are you kidding me? I’m leaving now,” I snap before stomping toward my car.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” he snaps back.

  I turn again and shake my head angrily. “When did you become such an asshole? Don’t get me wrong, I like it when you try to protect me and stuff, but you hurt him in there. Physically. And now you come out here asking me if I’m on the rag? Like the only reason that I could be angry at you is if I’m menstruating?” I yell at him. I hardly ever yell, and I feel awful about it, but this person in front of me isn’t the guy I’ve been falling for in the past couple of months.

  “What do you want me to say?” he yells back, throwing his hands out. “That I’m sorry I showed him not to mess with my girl? Because if that’s what you want, it’s the one thing I won’t give you.”

  “I don’t want your apology. I want to know what happened to you. Nothing in the past twenty minutes was like you,” I respond angrily.

  “You want to know what’s wrong with me?” he practically screams, scaring me. “What’s wrong with me is that my girlfriend would rather take the side of the douche that hurt her, than her own boyfriend! I’ve been trying to comfort you for the past two months because he hurt you and as soon as I stand up for you, you’re telling him that he didn’t deserve it! Was any of this ever about him, Anna? Or were you just playing hard to get and difficult to manage from the very beginning?” he yells.

  After a long silence, with large tears falling down my face, I whisper, “Stay away from me, Brayden.” Crying, I get in my car and drive away without looking back.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  All Mixed Up

  I’m able to keep my tears to a minimum on the drive home, but as soon as I get inside, the floodgates open. I quickly call Aurora and ask her to come over. Within a surprising ten minutes, since I easily live fifteen away, Ro’s knocking on my bedroom door and bursting through.

  “Anna, what happened?” she gasps before coming to my bed and hugging me to her.

  “B-B-B-B . . .” I can’t speak past my sobs.

  “Shh, try to take a deep breath and then speak,” she says soothingly.

  I try to breathe, but it’s extremely shaky. Luckily, it still helps. “B-Brayden c-c-came to sch-school and he y-yelled. I th-think I brok-ke up w-with him-m,” I sob.

  Her eyes widen dramatically in disbelief. Only yesterday I was talking about how I was really falling for him. “What? Why? What happened?” she asks quickly. It takes a while, but I explain everything to her, starting with Sam asking to help me.

  “Wow,” she whispers, her expression thoughtful. “How about you lie down and I’ll go get you some water?” she offers with a caring smile. I nod and thank her before relaxing on my back. Part of me regrets it, because Brayden is the best thing that’s ever happened to me besides Ro. On the other hand, though, I don’t want the Brayden I saw today. He was mean and, even though I yelled first, he screamed at me. How could he even think that my suffering was all just some ploy or something?

  About five minutes later, Ro comes back upstairs with a glass of water, popcorn, ice cream, chocolate chips, and the DVD we usually use for her breakups: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. We always stop it before the ending, though. I give a teary laugh before sitting up and resting against my headboard. For the rest of the night, we stay cuddled up under my blankets, doing everything we can to distract me. Ro even took my phone away, so I wouldn’t worry about it. She’s truly the best friend a girl could have.

  Around nine o’clock, I fall asleep from exhaustion. Crying always does that to me. I don’t wake up until the next afternoon. At first I panic, since I was scheduled to work the morning shift, but I see a note from Ro: Called Jon and told him you had a family thing. You’ve got the next two days off. I give a sigh of relief and thank my lucky stars for her again.

  I’m sure my eyes are puffy and my face is blotchy, since I was probably crying in my sleep, but I don’t even care as I make my way downstairs. Both my sister and mother give me concerned looks. The guys are probably out fixing a car or something. I bite my lower lip and move to the fridge, hoping to find comfort food.

  “Anna, are you feeling okay?” Lena asks me carefully.

  I simply nod my head, thinking I’ll probably cry if I talk.

  “Are you sure? Did something happen between you and Brayden?” Mom asks, wincing as I spin and burst into a fresh round of tears. Quickly, I’m surrounded by two pairs of arms. A month ago, this would have been very awkward for me. Right now? It’s everything I need.

  “Come on, let’s go sit down,” Mom coos in my ear. We all move to the couch and Lena hands me some tissues. I go through about five of them before I explain, in less detail than I gave Ro, what happened.

  “Holy crap, I never would’ve guessed that he’d do something like that,” Lena whispers thoughtfully when I’m finished.

  I shrug. “I suppose it’s best that I find out now, before I’m in over my head,” I tell her, not really believing it. After a minute, I sigh. “I came down here for food, but I’m not really hungry anymore,” I say sadly before heading back upstairs to crawl into bed.

  Another hour passes with me staring into space when a knock sounds on my door. “Come in,” I call out, assuming it’ll be either Lena or Mom. To my shock and horror, Brayden’s head peaks in the door. My chest tightens as I pull the blankets over my head. “Get out of here,” I demand.

  “Baby, we’ve gotta talk about what happened yesterday,” he says softly.

  “I don’t want to talk. I want you to go away,” I growl. I can’t believe he’s actually here.

  “Anna,” he whispers, barely loud enough for me to hear him through my sheets.

  “What?” I ask, feeling myself breaking a tiny amount.

  “I’m sorry,” he says helplessly.

  I nearly pull back the sheets. “How does sorry change anything that you said?” I ask, feeling tears start.

  “It doesn’t change anything, I know. I just, I didn’t mean it. And I know that doesn’t make a difference, but it’s true. I was just angry, and not at you. Please, I need to talk to you face-to-face.” I can feel his hand pulling lightly on my blanket as the bed dips a bit under his weight. I sigh, knowing exactly what he’ll see after a night of crying.

  “I don’t want you to see me right now,” I mutter, my voice cracking.

  “You’re beautiful to me, no matter what,” he says reassuringly.

  “Oh yeah, that’s right. I’m just putting on some big show, being high maintenance,” I snort.

  “Anna,” he says, his voice sounding heavier than before, like I’ve actually hurt him. I doubt that’s true, though, since he thinks I’m just playing him.

  I grumble in frustration before whipping the covers off my head—maybe my face will scare him into leaving me alone. I see his eyes widen as I stare unforgivingly into his eyes. “Just say what you came here to say,” I tell him.

  “I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I know that I hurt you and that I can never take back what I said, but you have to know that I didn’t mean it. I’ve never doubted you or thought you were just playing some game. I was just mad at myself for resorting to violence in the first place, and I took it out on you. You didn’t deserve any of the things I said to you.” He seems sincere but I’m too angry to care yet.

  “You’re right, I didn’t deserve that. How am I supposed to look past that, Brayden? You were a completely different pe
rson yesterday and I honestly don’t understand how that happened,” I say, looking down as I sit up against the headboard. “For the past few months, you’ve become so important to me, and the fact that you asked if I was just playing hard to get makes it feel like we’re a lie,” I admit as tears fill my eyes. I try to look away before they fall, but it’s clear that I’m crying now.

  “Anna, I know that I’m an ass and a moron, but I love you,” he says pleadingly.

  A sob escapes my throat as I look at him in disbelief. “Do you honestly think that this is the best time to use that as a bargaining chip? I don’t want the first time you tell me you love me to be because you’re afraid of losing me!” I cry, suddenly very mad at him.

  “But I do love you and you need to know that if you’re going to break up with me,” he protests.

  “I haven’t broken up with you!” I argue. I figured he’d take what I said yesterday as a breakup, but I hadn’t meant it to be.

  “Well are you going to?” he asks sadly.

  “Do you want to?” I ask back.

  “Of course not!” he exclaims. Other than my occasional sniffles, we’re both silent.

  I take a calming breath before saying, “I need to know what happened to you yesterday, Brayden. It just doesn’t make sense. I’ve seen you get irritated, but you’ve never truly been mean. I know that you get protective, but yesterday you were possessive, and it’s not you. And it’s not okay,” I say softly.

  He runs a hand through his hair. “Evie lost the baby,” he breathes, a line of tears filling his eyes. “I was over there when she slipped on the stairs. I just . . . I left them at the hospital and went to see you, thinking I’d feel better, and it worked, until I saw that Sam guy. After that, it was like I was in somebody else’s body. The next thing I knew Ro was calling me, telling me what a dick I am and that I’m never going to see you again and it scared me shitless.”