All he could think about was making contact with her. He immediately abandoned his post, shot over to the waltzer ride, ran up the wooden steps and, whilst the ride was still speeding around, expertly timed a jump to land on the back of the carriage the girl was sitting in, unmindful that his foolhardy actions could have killed him.
Right from the off she made it apparent that his flirtations were not offensive or unwanted; she giggled at his suggestive banter as she batted her eyelashes at him, openly encouraging him to carry on. By the end of the ride she had agreed to meet him alone at closing time around the back of the Cake Walk.
Wanting her to know that he thought her special to him, that he wasn’t with her only for one thing, he asked her if she’d like to go to a club or somewhere that opened late that served food, but she refused. She just wanted to go for a walk down by the canal. He was happy to oblige. He would follow her to the ends of the earth if that was what she wanted. As they talked he learned she was a few months younger than he was, lived a few streets away, which he knew to be a slum area of town, in a rented two-up two-down terrace with her parents and two younger brothers. Her father was a drunken wastrel, her mother a cleaner and she herself worked as a machinist in the same factory her mother worked for. She was funny, intelligent and very sexy. Her name was Belinda.
For the first time since he’d been sexually active he was nervous around a woman and worried witless he was acting more schoolboyish than grown man in his efforts to show her he saw her as more to him than a one night-stand. To his relief, if she noticed he was over-anxious to impress his good qualities on her, she made no reference to it. He was, though, most shocked when she stopped by a clearing on the tow path, encouraged him to sit down with her, then made it abundantly clear she wanted him to make love to her. Usually it was him leading the way in that respect. But, again, he was happy to oblige. Anything Belinda wanted that was in his power to provide, he would give her. He was putty in her hands.
For the next five nights, as soon as Sonny finished work, he would find her waiting for him and she would lead him to the secluded place down the canal tow path and, after a short time making small talk, she would lead the way to them having sex. The more time he spent with her, the more their partings grew ever-increasingly difficult for him. She was like an intoxicating drug and the more he had, the more he wanted. His life had no meaning whatsoever without her by his side. As far as he was concerned she seemed as besotted with him as he was with her and she didn’t give him any reason not to believe she didn’t see her future with him.
Usually, by the last night of the fair, Sonny was ready to move on to pastures new, but this time the thought of leaving Belinda behind – having a long-distance relationship with her, maybe not seeing her for weeks on end and the worrying possibility of some other man snatching her away from him in the meantime – did not appeal at all. He wanted her by his side permanently. He would ask her to marry him. Joshua had married a showman’s daughter and his parents had been extremely happy with the union, but he knew they would play merry hell with him as they had when Solly had announced he was marrying a flattie. But, same as Solly, it was his right to choose who he married and his parents would just have to accept he’d picked Belinda.
They had just made love and were lying, exhausted, in the secluded clearing, looking up at the stars. Knowing it was now or never, Sonny propped himself up on one arm and, looking down at her adoringly, blurted, ‘I love you, Belinda. Please marry me? Come with me when we leave tomorrow and I’ll go to the nearest registry office and get a special licence. We’ll run away to Gretna Green if you want to. One of my brothers did that when he married his wife and said it was very romantic. My folks will get us a nice van to live in as a wedding present like they did my brothers when they both got married. We’ll be so happy together, Bel; you, me and our kids, I know we will. You’ll love the fair life. Travelling around, not being tied down to one place.’ And, wanting her to know that one day he might be more than just a worker on the fair, he told her, ‘My family own the fair. When my father dies my elder brother, Joshua, will inherit the business but Dad will also leave me and my brother Solly one of the rides each. So you’ll be the wife of a ride owner,’ he said proudly. ‘So what do you say, Belinda?’
To his utter shock an immediate expression of delight and her acceptance of his proposal did not come but instead she started to laugh. Frowning in confusion, he asked, ‘What’s so funny, Bel? You do want to marry me, don’t you?’
She scanned his face and mirthfully snorted. ‘My God, you’re serious, aren’t you? I thought you were just having a laugh.’
He frowned, even more confused. ‘You think I would ask you to spend the rest of your life with me just to give you a laugh?’
She sat up and started straightening her clothes. ‘What on earth makes you think I would lower myself to tie myself to the likes of you. You’re just a traveller, gypsy—’
Sitting bolt upright he indignantly exclaimed, ‘I damned well am not a traveller or gypsy. My family are showmen.’
She sniggered. ‘Same difference. All thieving lowlifes to us. I half expected to find my purse emptied every night I’ve left you and was quite surprised it wasn’t, to be honest, knowing well your lot’s reputation for pinching anything that moves. And you’re all illiterate because you don’t go to school. I bet you sign your name with an X.’ She gave a violent shudder. ‘Oh, just the thought of living in one of those damp, cold huts on wheels fills me with dread. I can’t imagine for the life of me how you survive living not much better than cavemen did.’ She then eyed him incredulously. ‘I can’t believe you would ever think that I would ever want to live like that! Cooking meals over an open fire outside with no running water inside or proper toilets. This week with you has been fun, but that’s all it’s been for me, so if you thought there was more to it on my part then more fool you. Anyway, even if I had fallen for you, I could never take you home. My parents would have a dicky fit, would disown me if they thought for a minute I was thinking of marrying a fairground worker. Sooner me marry the local gangster. They’d never hold their heads up again. The neighbours would have a field day. I’d never dare tell my friends I’ve been seeing you as they would be disgusted with me for having anything to do with someone like you.’ She paused for breath and gave him the once-over, smiling at what she saw before adding, ‘I couldn’t help myself, though. You’re a hell of a good-looking man, Sonny Grundy, and I’ve had the best sex with you I imagine I’ll ever have. Be something to look back on, won’t it, when I’m bored with my husband after being married to him for years.’ She then eyed him regretfully. ‘If only you weren’t a gypsy and had a good job that would keep me in the style I want for myself, then me and you… Well… Let’s say things might have been entirely different.’ She grabbed her handbag, jumped up and looked down at him, shooting him a winning smile. ‘Next time your fair comes here I’ll stop by and say hello and if we’re both free…’ She left the rest of the words hanging in the air, knowing he would know what she was insinuating. Then she turned and swanned off down the tow path to disappear into the darkness.
He stared after her blindly, the wonderful future he had planned with her shattered into smithereens. The pain of hurt and devastation flooding his entire being was immeasurable. Whilst he had fallen head over heels in love with her, had been planning their future together, all she had seen him for was to use him for sex and a memory to look back on when she was old and grey. A vice-like grip clamped his heart, like an invisible hand had ripped open his chest and was tearing it out. Now he realised just why she had turned down his offer of going to a nightclub or having a meal in a public place as she didn’t want to risk being seen with him by anyone she knew. She didn’t want them to look down on her for associating herself with an illiterate fairground worker.
Whilst growing up he had witnessed many situations of outsiders acting hostile towards the fairfolk community and had suffered them himself. The children
at the array of schools he, his brothers and other fairfolk children had attended, had made fun and mercilessly bullied them, sometimes the teachers too. Numerous times he’d witnessed his mother and other fairfolk women being refused to be served in shops, glared at like they were dirt, even spat at, but he had always believed what his mother had told him; that flatties were jealous they had the fair facilities permanently at their own disposal so could have fun whenever they wanted, not have to wait for a year in-between. She also told them flatties were jealous of their travelling way of life; riding through beautiful countryside, sampling life in a different towns and villages every week when they themselves were permanently stuck in one place in a grim street surrounded by factories whose chimneys blotted out the sky with their belching black smoke. But now, thanks to Belinda, he knew his mother had lied to him. Outsiders saw showmen as scourges of society, only to be tolerated for a few hours every night for a week once a year while they enjoyed the entertainment they were offering. Otherwise they most certainly didn’t want them mixing amongst them in their own communities.
A deep-seated need to make Belinda pay for her callous treatment of him ignited, then began to overwhelm and consume him. But not just her; all outsiders.
And there was his brother too. He resented Solly for achieving something he hadn’t. Solly had obviously got a special something about him that he himself did not possess. Gem was an outsider and came from a far better background than Belinda did, yet Solly had worked that magic he had to make her want to leave her life behind and live the one he was offering her. Why hadn’t he got that quality that would have made Belinda want to turn her back on her own life for the one he was offering her? The love, respect and admiration he had always felt for his younger brother was swept away like a tidal wave and replaced with deep bitterness toward him. It wasn’t fair that Solly had got the woman he wanted and he hadn’t.
So just how was he going to make Belinda and all outsiders pay for their unjustified, superior attitudes towards him… because this was all about him as he didn’t care about other fairfolk now. If they were willing to keep turning a blind eye to how outsiders felt about and treated them just because they needed their money to survive on, then that was up to them, but he wasn’t prepared to. But how could he make them pay? As it was he hadn’t at this moment any idea how he was going to come face to face with any of them in future and not stop himself from being civil. But the money they spent at the fair paid his own keep so, regardless what he felt about them, he would still have to act congenially towards them by way of encouragement to spend that money in his father’s fair. What an impossible situation to find himself in.
Then an idea struck. He could act hospitable towards flatties in future if he himself knew that he was reaping his vengeance from them for their undeserved opinions of him. It was just a pity that what he had in mind as a way to do it, they themselves wouldn’t know. Still, he would, and until he thought of something better, for now that would suffice for Sonny. Outsiders believed him to be a thief living a debauched life, so he would be. It would no longer be just the gaff lads that fleeced them of their money as he would too. And he would then use his stolen gains to fund his fun in their pubs, clubs and gambling dens. He would use his looks and charm to bed their women and then cast them aside like they were trash – just as Belinda had him. One thing was for certain though; he would never give his heart to another woman and risk having it broken so callously again, whether she be one of his own kind or an outsider. The pain he was suffering, the devastation and humiliation; he was never putting himself through it again.
From that moment gone was the happy-go-lucky, affable Sonny to be replaced by a sullen, surly young man, harbouring a deep grudge against life.
At the first opportunity he rounded up the gaff lads and warned them that in future he wanted half their tapping money every night and if any should try and hold out on him, then not only would they be out of a job but they should expect to get a long stay in hospital in intensive care. With the money he made from them and by short-changing the customers himself, he also fleeced his father by withholding some of the ride money he’d taken each night. He was clever enough never to arouse suspicions in the shrewd older man of what he was doing and persuaded his parents it was time for him to live on his own. He knew, deep down, they would offer to pay for a van for him; the same as they had for his brothers. As soon as he finished work of a night, he rid himself of all traces of his showman’s life to become a smart young man about town seeking fun for himself in the local community, socializing with all those that would never voluntarily breathe the same air as him outside of the fairground.
Then Britain declared war on Germany and, as a result, all places of entertainment –including travelling fairs – were ordered to close and men of his age called up to join the Forces. Before Belinda had caused her damage on him, Sonny would have been amongst the first, standing proud by his brothers’ sides in the queue signing up to fight for his king and country, but now he was putting off the deed until he had no choice, as he was adamant: why put his own life at risk to protect people that thought so disparagingly of him?
But, as matters stood, it seemed Sonny would have no choice but risk life and limb for those he had no care for. A man had to have a serious illness or deformity to have any chance of being excused. He was fit and in good health. He could always claim he was a conscientious objector but that meant he could land in jail or be sent down the mines and, regardless, he fancied neither. After the war ended he wouldn’t be welcome in either the outsiders’ community or that of the showmen as neither would accept a traitor to their country living in their midst. The only life facing him then would be that of a vagrant.
But just when he had begun to accept that there was no justifiable reason he could use to avoid joining up, a possible way to at least avoid being sent to the frontline presented itself. It was the day before he had been ordered to register to serve and he was helping his father. Joshua and Solly had both already volunteered and were at training camp awaiting their postings by then. Sonny, along with three other men from the Grundy community who were too old to join the forces, was storing all the fairground equipment in a large storage facility. One of the storage yard’s employees, a young man around Sonny’s own age, suddenly collapsed to the floor, his body wildly jerking, eyes rolling around in their sockets. As they all stood helplessly looking down at the man, not having a clue what was wrong with him or what to do to help him for the best, the wife of the storage yard owner came running over. She threw herself down beside the convulsing man, whipped off her cardigan, balled it up and placed it under his head, loosened his tie, then spoke soothingly to him until the jerking stopped. Then she immediately rolled him onto his side. She looked up at the men looking worriedly down and told them he would be alright now. She asked if they would carry him into the house to rest on the sofa for a while until he was well enough to return to work.
Not at all out of concern for an outsider but purely out of curiosity, Sonny asked the woman what had caused the young man to convulse like that. She explained that he’d suffered an epileptic fit which could come on at any time. His illness had resulted from when, as a young boy, he had been struck by a falling roof tile from a house he was passing at the time. It was such a shame for him too, as he was desperate to do his bit for the war effort, but his illness was severe enough to exempt him from actual fighting. Regardless, the authorities were looking to see what else his illness wouldn’t prevent him from doing towards aiding the war effort.
Sonny was elated. This was the perfect excuse for him to avoid putting his own life at risk for people he had no allegiance with. A safe job, away from harm, would suit him fine. Convincing a doctor of his disability was another matter though.
After reporting to the recruiting office and filling out forms, the next stage was a doctor’s examination to determine that he was fit enough to fight. Praying that the doctor would fall for the act he was about to pu
t on, it was with great trepidation that Sonny walked into the doctor’s office. As luck would have it, the old stalwart of a doctor that usually did the examinations was off sick and a newly qualified doctor, who looked like he was still a school boy to Sonny with his slight frame and boyish face, had been called in to cover his duties.
The examination was just about concluded and the doctor about to inform him, Sonny knew, he had passed with flying colours, when Sonny decided now was the time to put his plan in action. Copying exactly what he’d witnessed happen to the young man at the yard, he suddenly fell into a dead heap on the floor, wildly jerked his body and rolled around his eyes, carrying this on for at least a minute, then pretended to pass out, lying dead still as the young man had done. During his act he felt the doctor put a pillow under his head and, as soon as he’d halted his jerking body, he rolled him over on his side.
A while later, now sitting on a chair, the doctor perched on the edge of his desk looking at him concernedly. Sonny said, faking a worried tone, ‘It happened again did it, doc? I passed out?’
The boyish-faced doctor solemnly nodded and said, ‘This has happened before, then?’
Conscious that the doctor would question why he hadn’t been to a doctor about this condition already, he responded. ‘It’s happened once before, just after I got knocked on the head by a metal strut when we was dismantling a ride the other week. I was on my own in my living van so I didn’t know what had happened to me until I came around and noticed time had passed so I knew I’d passed out.’
‘And you never went to see a doctor about it?’
‘I’m a fairground worker, doc. Not easy for us to get to see a doctor, not that I’ve got the money to pay his bill either. I didn’t think it was serious anyway.’ He then looked at him worriedly. ‘Why, do you think I have got something serious?’
All the Fun of the Fair Page 4