by Drew Hunt
Mason was torn between wanting to comfort Parker, and being angry at Kurt. If he could only get his hands on that Kurt guy, he’d rip him a new asshole for hurting his lover. Kurt was older; he should have known better, he should…Mason didn’t know.
Mason gave Parker a tissue, and he blew his nose. “Thanks. You don’t hate me?”
“What? No, of course not. Though I can’t say the same about Kurt. Fuck, I hope I never run into him, cause…” Mason tightened his hold around Parker.
“I just wanted someone to hold me, love me, let me feel safe. But Kurt couldn’t, wouldn’t.”
“Oh, Parker,” to himself, Mason added, My beautiful, hurting Parker.
“Sorry.”
“Hey, stop that. I’m here now. I’m your boyfriend. Any time you want a cuddle, you come to me.” Mason’s voice rose in volume. “Any time you want someone to love you, you find me. Because, Parker, you fucking beautiful person, if anything bad was to happen to you I’d…Well I’d kick their asses good and proper, and then kick yours for you letting them hurt you.”
Parker laughed. “You say the cutest things.”
“Bleck!” Mason said, but at least he’d put a smile on his boyfriend’s face.
Mason watched over Parker as his eye-lids slowly closed and his breathing evened out, all the while wondering how the hell such a powerful, outwardly confident muscle stud could be so vulnerable. Mason offered up a prayer that he would be strong enough to meet Parker’s needs. He knew he had no choice. For better or worse he was totally in love with the big lug. And so for the second night in a row, Mason quietly professed his love to a sleeping boyfriend, before cuddling up to him and drifting off into a troubled sleep.
* * * *
Sunday brought rain, lots of heavy, cold, persistent, unrelenting rain. But it didn’t really matter because Mason and Parker used the time indoors to further cement their friendship.
This time Mason was the first to awaken. He found Parker’s arms and legs tangled around his own, as if the big guy wanted to get as much body contact as possible. Mason wasn’t about to object.
It was fascinating to watch Parker sleep. His face, which when awake, could show a variety of emotions from deep sadness to total joy, now was peaceful and untroubled. Mason sent Parker another silent promise to always be there for him, support him, hold him and love him.
Slowly Parker began to wake up. His eyes at first seemed unfocused, but when he spotted Mason they brightened, as did the rest of his face.
“Good morning, beautiful, did you sleep well?” Mason asked.
“Yes, uh, I think so.” Then Parker’s face clouded. “Uh, last night, did what I think happen really happen?”
“Yes, bud. But as I told you then, it’s all right.”
“You sure?”
Mason ran a finger down Parker’s cheek. Parker turned his head and gently held the finger in his mouth, sucking on it like a pacifier.
“You want breakfast? My turn to cook.”
“Can you cook?” Parker asked, letting go of Mason’s finger.
“Uh, well, I can do cold cereal without too many problems.”
Parker nodded. “I’ll cook.”
“So does this mean I get to see you in that frilly apron again?
Parker punched Mason on the arm.
“Ouch, you big bully.”
“Want me to kiss it better?” Parker leaned down and kissed more than Mason’s arm better.
“Now look what you’ve done,” Mason said, pointing to his erection.
“Want me to kiss that better, too?”
“Well, I don’t know about better, but, oh, shit!” Mason exclaimed as his cock was enveloped in the warm wetness of Parker’s sucking mouth.
When he’d finished, and Mason had returned, (if slightly less expertly) the favor, Parker said he better go and make some coffee to go with the cream they just ate.
Mason got up with him, they dressed in the minimum of clothing, and while Parker cooked, Mason re-laid and lit the fire in the main room.
* * * *
“I don’t think we’ll be able to get out today,” Mason said, peering out of the window at the torrential rain.
“No, but it’s nice being inside all toasty with you.” Parker came up behind Mason and gave him a hug. “Thank you for not…Well for understanding, you know, last night.”
Mason turned in Parker’s arms and put his own round Parker’s wide chest. “What happened wasn’t your fault. Kurt used you for his own pleasure, not caring about you.”
“I know. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the sex. I liked it a lot, but I wanted, needed more. I needed Kurt to like me, to want me, but, well…”
“This guy really likes you and really wants you.”
“Thanks. That was why, when I caught you looking at me that day, I got to hoping, praying that maybe, just maybe you might be the one. And you are.” Parker kissed Mason’s lips hungrily. “I hit the jackpot with you.”
Mason wanted to say he was the one who had gotten the prize, but Parker’s tongue was too far down his throat for him to be able to achieve intelligible speech.
Pulling back and taking in several deep breaths, Parker cupped Mason’s face in his large hands. “Make love to me, please?”
Mason didn’t need asking twice. Silently he led Parker back to the bedroom. He sensed Parker wanted him to be the aggressor, a role he was beginning to get accustomed to. So, after much kissing, stroking and rubbing, Mason stuck a folded pillow under the small of Parker’s back. After suiting up and making sure everything was well lubed, he slowly entered Parker’s ass.
This time would not be a quick hump and come; Mason was determined to take it slow and steady. He would show Parker what someone who genuinely loved him for the beautiful person he was, both inside and out, could do. If Parker’s whimpers, his glazed eyes, his drooling, slack-jawed expression was any indication, then Mason could be certain he’d gotten his point across.
Mason felt his orgasm approaching, but he eased back, determined to have Parker come first. Knowing he was no expert on making a partner come purely by stimulating his prostate, Mason reached down and pumped a load out of Parker’s iron hard, leaking manhood.
Again Parker let out a primitive, window-rattling roar. If Mason had possessed sufficient powers of reason at that moment, he would have concluded there would be no way he and Parker could have sex without anyone under the same roof knowing what the two of them were up to. But such matters were far from Mason’s mind as he too hurtled over the precipice, testing to the limit the capacity of his condom’s reservoir.
The exhausted but satiated lovers collapsed onto the bed, both catching their breaths.
“Fuck,” Parker said.
“You certainly have been,” Mason replied, finding and kissing Parker’s mouth.
“And how. Cuddle me, Mase, please?”
Mason was to learn that after making love, Parker always liked to be held. They would both come to enjoy the post-coital cuddle, making it their favorite part of the lovemaking experience.
* * * *
Parker’s ass was dragging Monday afternoon as he helped Mason close up the cabin prior to their departure. Mason was acutely aware of Parker’s somber mood. He shared it, but hoped there’d be other opportunities to return.
“Come on, cheer up. I know yesterday was a total wash-out, but we still managed to find plenty to do inside.” Mason flashed him a knowing smile.
“I know, I’m still a little sore,” Parker smirked.
“And we had a good walk this morning,”
“Yeah, that porcupine took a real liking to you.”
“Don’t remind me.”
Parker’s face, which had momentarily brightened, fell once again. “I don’t wanna go back home.”
“We can’t stay up here forever.” Though Mason wished they could. The weekend had been amazing. He and Parker had grown so close, he’d almost told the big guy that he was in love with him several times, but he
always bit back the words at the last moment. “This place is great as a getaway, but we have lives to live, school to attend, and you’ve got football games to play. What is it you told me, the Falcons couldn’t win if I weren’t there?”
The ghost of a smile appeared on Parker’s face. “I know I’m being dumb. It’s just…” Parker drifted into silence.
“Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away. Mom and Dad might not want to come up because Mom usually has to work on both the Wednesday and Friday, so we’ll probably have the place to ourselves again.”
Parker’s smile brightened. “Really, can we, Mase?
Mason grasped Parker’s arm and pulled him around so they were both looking over the lake, its rippling green blue water stretching the half mile to the opposite shore. “I know this place has become very special to you. It’s where you feel safe, feel able to be yourself. If only for that reason, and trust me there’s lots more, that’s why it’s special to me also. I promise you that we’ll come up here as often as we can.”
Parker pulled Mason into a tight hug. “I don’t deserve someone as special as you. I can’t think why you put up with me, I’m screwed up, I’m…”
“You’re a fucking awesome stud, Parker Collins, and I love you with all of my heart,” Mason said loudly. He amazed himself at finally speaking the words aloud, but he didn’t regret doing so.
Parker tightened his arms around Mason.
“I’m here, I’ll not hurt you like Kurt did. I’ll do everything within my power to give you the happiness that the both of us deserve. Now come on, get movin’, I told mom we’d be home in time for supper.”
Parker gave him a final squeeze before pulling back and gripping Mason’s upper arms. “Mase, you, I…”
“It’s okay.” Mason put a couple of fingers to Parker’s lips, silencing his struggle. “I maybe shouldn’t have said what I did. But I’ve said it now and I can’t take it back.” Mason’s heart was beating rapidly. He tried not to be hurt at Parker not being able to say those all-important words. Under his breath he cursed Kurt. Parker’s inability to reciprocate was all his fault.
Chapter 5
Pill Hill—Portland OR, July 2005
“Fucking useless piece of shit!” Parker exclaimed, slamming the phone back onto its cradle.
As Mason had suspected, the elevator’s phone was out of order. “Vandals,” he said softly.
“What the fuck business is it of yours!” Parker whirled on Mason.
“No, uh, I said vandals, plural.” He swallowed. “Kids, they frequently vandalize the equipment in the elevators.”
“Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry, bud. You must think I’m a real asshole.”
Mason didn’t say anything.
“I’m nervous. Hospitals, I don’t like them. I don’t normally fly into a rage with people I don’t know.”
“It’s okay.” Inwardly Mason winced. He knew Parker hadn’t recognized him, but somehow having it spoken out loud made it hurt worse. People only ever saw the chair, never the guy sitting in it.
Despite the passage of time, Parker had lost little of his physical, manly presence. Mason’s gaze fell to his lap, to the suit pants covering his withered, stick-like legs. He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about how differently fate had treated him and Parker.
“Uh, will someone be coming, do you think?” Parker’s voice had softened.
Without opening his eyes, Mason said, “Try pressing the alarm button.” He prayed it would work.
A bell rang somewhere in the distance.
Despite a resolute determination not to, Mason couldn’t help but open his eyes and admire his companion. From his seated position he thought Parker appeared taller than he remembered. His hair was still perfect. Mason wondered if it felt as fine and silky as it used to. Parker was a little thicker around the middle, but he wore it well. Through his suit jacket and button down dress shirt, Mason could tell Parker still had a great chest. Looking at the man’s arms, Mason concluded Parker must still work out regularly. He remembered how those arms once used to enfold him, holding him against that firm body.
“Don’t go there.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, uh, nothing.” Mason hadn’t realized he’d spoken out loud.
* * * *
Central High School—Crawford, WA, April 1992
“I don’t mean anything to you. I’ve never meant anything,” Mason hissed quietly.
“What?”
“I’m just…just your dirty little secret, someone you can ignore when it doesn’t suit you.”
Mason was at the end of his tether, he’d had enough. It was coming up on their six-month anniversary. They’d decided their first visit to the lake cabin should mark the start of their relationship. Mason had planned to take his boyfriend back up to the cabin and celebrate with good food, a bottle of wine and a special surprise. Parker had been thrilled, and had badgered Mason to tell him about the surprise, but Mason had stayed resolutely tight-lipped. However, Parker had just cancelled, telling Mason his girlfriend had asked him to stay with her for the weekend as her parents were out of town.
Mason and Parker were standing in the hall by their lockers. The melee of students had turned their attention to the two jocks when they heard raised voices.
“No, Mase, that’s so not true.” Parker looked about him. “Uh, can we talk about this later?” he asked, shifting uncomfortably.
“You mean when Tina or whatever the name of the latest bimbo is, isn’t pulling on your leash?” Mason spat.
Someone in the crowd snickered.
Then in an instant everything changed. Parker’s face turned an angry red. He slammed his fist into his locker and rounded on Mason. “Oh, for fuck’s sake! Stop being such a fucking fag. I’ve had enough of your queer-ass shit! So just…Just fuck off!”
Mason stood, his mouth opening and closing. Parker stormed off, pushing his way through the crowd. Once he’d gone, all eyes turned to Mason. Then the warning bell rang and people slowly began to disperse.
* * * *
Wherever he went during the day, Mason saw people staring at—and whispering about—him.
Even though he should have been concentrating on school work Mason found himself reflecting upon his six-month love affair with Parker. He’d always known they would have to hide the more intimate aspects of their friendship from public gaze. He was prepared for that, but what frequently irked him was the lengths Parker felt he needed to go to in order to appear straight.
Parker had been elected homecoming king the previous fall. Mason sat on the edge of his seat during the special assembly, as the results were announced and the king, queen and their court were assembled. To anyone else Parker seemed bashful as he kissed the cheek of his queen. Mason was okay with this; he knew Parker was just acting. Though as the week of homecoming events continued, Mason was beginning to wonder if secretly Parker wasn’t enjoying himself a little too much.
The school had planned several homecoming events, pep rallies, a bonfire and a parade complete with decorated floats.
The whole thing culminated in the football game on Friday and the homecoming dance the day after. Mason attended the game, eagerly anticipating a comfortable victory. The Jackson High Volcanoes were consistently bottom of the league.
All was going to plan. The Falcon’s were fourteen points ahead, when in the middle of the second quarter, Henry, the first string quarterback, got sacked. He lay on the ground and didn’t look as though he was getting up any time soon. Mason knew Henry was a close bud of Parker’s, and sure enough, Parker was one of the first to kneel down next to the prostrate football player.
An ambulance was called. The paramedics examined Henry before placing him on a stretcher and carrying him off the field. The second-string quarterback did his best, but it was obvious there wasn’t the same chemistry between the new guy and the rest of the players. The lead that the Falcons had built up was slowly whittled away, until the Jackson Volcanoes nudged ahead. The l
ead changed hands several times.
Mason watched concerned as Parker and his team mates fumbled passes, dropped balls and conceded needless penalties. Mason wished he could take his boyfriend somewhere quiet and talk him down. He’d learned that hugging, stroking his back and running fingers through his hair usually had a calming effect on the big guy. But Mason was powerless to help, so he just had to sit in the bleachers and watch.
In the last five minutes of the game, the Volcanoes went three points ahead with a touchdown pass. Much to the distress and frustration of Parker and his team mates, the Volcanoes kept possession with an on-side kick and worked the clock down.
With a minute remaining, a Falcon defensive lineman intercepted a pass and ran almost the full length of the field, but was tackled at the fifteen yard line. The Falcons tried to advance the ball for a couple of plays, but only managed to gain a yard or two. On the final play, Parker caught a pass and slithered over the goal line.
The home crowd went crazy. Mason jumped to his feet and cheered. Not only was Mason proud of his team, but it was his boyfriend that had made the win possible.
It didn’t matter that the extra point attempt was unsuccessful. They had won, and Parker, his Parker, despite an earlier lackluster performance, had come through.
The Falcon players hoisted Parker on their shoulders and carried him off the field in triumph. Mason couldn’t ever remember being more proud of his man. He looked forward in eager anticipation to that night’s round of celebrating.
As had become his usual practice, Mason made his way to the locker-room entrance and waited for his boyfriend. When Parker emerged a half hour later, he was immediately set upon by Mandy the Homecoming queen. She hugged and kissed him, something Mason knew he wasn’t able to do. Feeling out of place and dejected, Mason backed into the shadows.
Parker waved him closer. “Hey, Mase. Did you see that touch-down?”
“Real smooth.”
“Yeah. I’d gone through the moves loads of times in practice and it all fell into place.”