“Are you all right?” said a familiar voice. I opened my eyes to a freckled face. Redge’s face.
“Yes.”
But as I spoke, a frightening sense of foreboding hit me — like something terrible was going to happen but I wasn’t sure what. I tried to reach out for something, anything, to hold me steady, but my arms weren’t working properly. Then I couldn’t see straight anymore. Colors swirled. My head grew fuzzy. And the throbbing grew louder and stronger. Where was I? Oh, where was I?
“Lenni! Lenni! What’s wrong?” A voice called from far away, but my tongue was too thick to answer.
A blinding flash pained my eyes. Then I could only see a bright yellow light, like a huge sunflower. It had vivid purple and blue edges with a veil of darkness beyond. As I watched, confused and amazed, the sunflower of light began to dwindle slowly down to a tiny pinprick in a starless night.
Ping.
The light blinked out. I was in darkness.
fire
Flames licked my legs, rising as high as my stomach. The pain swelled into deep jolting tremors, then fell like waves. I stood in a fire that burned but didn’t destroy me.
Waves of heat wrinkled the air. Wavering faces in the huge darkness beyond the fire. Mother. Dad. Elyle. Jonah? Redge. Had they started the fire?
Another figure in silver robes that shook off the darkness. A woman dressed like a warrior goddess. Mur, yes, Mur would help.
Her hair was a billow of finely spun silver, her eyes the dark mysteries of shadow. When she spoke, I felt the soft, familiar breeze, so fresh, so welcome, against my searing skin. Step out of the fire.
My legs throbbed. I tried to lift my foot, but it would not budge.
I can’t.
Trapped! I was trapped. I yanked at my legs, desperate to obey Mur’s command, but I couldn’t move.
Step out of the fire!
I struggled again to take a step, then shook my head, defeated.
Mur draped red satin onto the black earth beside my fire. Mother sneered at her.
Step onto this.
I can’t.
Tears pooled in my eyes. Why couldn’t I move?
She showed me a patch of blue ice, now in place of the red satin.
Step onto this.
I looked at my feet, licked by flame, yet unblemished. Mother, Redge, the others — their faces pressed closer, gaping at my misery. I wished them away, but they stayed.
I can’t.
Step onto this.
Mur offered me a pool of aqua water.
I can’t leave my fire.
I understand.
Mur offered nothing more. She didn’t try to put out my fire. I couldn’t step out. The circle of people pressed closer. Mur threw a spray of water over their heads and down onto my feet. A brief coolness, then the return of searing pain.
Mur gave me a sad smile. A single tear wandered down my cheek then sputtered into the flames. Mur turned and walked away. I watched until the darkness swallowed her. Then my tears flowed.
undertow
I opended my eyes. Where was I? I lay sprawled on my back as if I’d been thrown down. Every muscle ached and my tongue felt chewed and raw.
Bright overhead lights made me squint. I tried to lift my head up, but it fell back down to a soft landing. There were sheets beneath me. I was on a bed, wearing a too-small gown. Had someone changed my clothes? I shivered with revulsion, not wanting to imagine a stranger handling me.
Glancing around, I tried to prepare my weakened muscles to defend against further intrusion. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw only a harmless pitcher of water, a glass, and some sort of medical device on the table next to me. The walls were painted the deep burgundy of congealed blood, the ceiling was blinding white, and everything was infused with a cocktail of disinfectants.
A medical unit? I thought. What am I doing here?
Oh, yes. Elyle. The fall. The gray river. The indigo darkness. I’d healed her! Was Elyle really well? Yes. Then tremors had shaken me — a punishment for saving Elyle. And I’d had that unsettling nightmare about fire.
I watched the dust drift and swirl in the slanting sunbeam that spilled in from the large window. The silence was so deep that I thought of outer space and the dust that must float and spin there in utter quiet. Was I that alone? The quiet became ghastly, vast, and unending. Where had everyone gone?
My head began to spin with the dust swirls and my stomach to roll. When I shut my eyes to steady myself, sleep tugged at me, like a relentless undertow. I sank like an anchor into it. Minutes or hours later, I didn’t know, I surfaced again, drenched with sweat, my heart racing. When the door to the room opened, I struggled to sit up.
“Elyle?” I called, hoping to see her well, just to be sure. A familiar face would be nice.
But it was a man of about fifty, a medic in a white uniform, studying a scanner. He glanced briefly at me, and I brushed the tangled hair away from my face. A stale smell rose from my body, but I was too tired to care. I collapsed back onto the pillow.
“Are you going to stay with us now?” the man asked.
“Stay?” The question confused me. Was I going to stay in this room? Stay out of the darkness? What did he mean?
The man smiled, showing even white teeth. At least he was friendly, and I was so glad to see someone, anyone.
“I’m Doctor Frank, and you’ve had a bad seizure. Still not quite with us, are you? You’re in the main medical unit.”
Right beside the Academy. That made sense. “How long have I been here?” My tongue was thick and swollen, my mouth full of cotton.
He sat on the edge of the bed and eyed me curiously. The mattress tilted with his weight. “Do you remember anything?” His voice softened.
“Yes,” I said, noticing that he’d avoided my question. Maybe I’d been here for hours already, and he didn’t want to tell me.
Doctor Frank squeezed my hand, then let it go. His eyes were pleasant — chocolate with specks of gold — although he had painful looking blotches of dry skin on his balding head. Couldn’t he do anything about that? “Good. Do you remember your name?”
“Of course.” Why was he asking me that? “Lenni Hannix.” My jaw slackened long enough to let the words through. Pain throbbed in my head.
“Good. Now, Lenni, have you ever had a seizure before?”
“No.”
“I see.”
He frowned, and I wondered why.
“What’s wrong?”
“That’s what I’m here to find out.”
He scanned me, checking my temperature, the response of my eyes, and other reflexes. I scrutinized him, trying to determine what type of person he was. He really seemed to care, to be concerned about my health. I wondered how much he knew about me, about what had happened with Elyle. Finally, he finished his examination and began to speak.
“The good news is that the seizure seems to have had no lasting effects, although I’m bothered by this unusual fever. No infections. No bio invaders. For the life of me, I can’t figure out its source. As for preventing any further seizures, I’ve installed an anti-convulsive device in the back of your neck.”
Alarmed, I felt for the slight bump just below my hairline. A nervous shiver ran through me. “I don’t need that.” Don’t turn me into skidge, I thought.
“Now, don’t get upset.” Doctor Frank continued, patting my hand in a soothing way. “Seizures occur when there is an imbalance of electrical activity in the brain. This device regulates that activity. It’s already halted a second seizure that began as you arrived here at the unit. We’ll need to investigate why this is happening. In the meantime, you rest. If you need help, just call out, and a medic will respond.”
“I want you to take it out.” My voice was getting an anxious edge to it. “I’m all right. The seizures are gone.” As long as I don’t repeat that trick with Elyle,
But Doctor Frank just shook his head, smiled distractedly, and adjusted the burgundy cover over me.
“Now, we don’t know that, do we? No, I think I’ll make the medical decisions here.”
“But…” I was beginning to feel helpless, trapped.
“I’ll arrange for a supper tray,” he interrupted. “Please try to eat as much as you can. Do you want a shower or should I send in someone to give you a sponge bath?”
The idea of food sent my stomach into spirals. “No food, please. I’ll shower later.”
“Right, then.” Doctor Frank turned on his heel and marched purposefully toward the door. I was about to call him back, to make my case again for removing the anti-seizure device, to ask him how long I’d been asleep, when he spun back around, his eyes fixed on mine. “Amazing how Elyle Brahan came through that fall so well. I hear she tumbled from the very top. Not even a bone broken.”
I fought the urge to jerk upright. My heart hammered in my chest. He can’t know anything, I told myself.
“Amazing.” I knew I didn’t sound convincing, but I wasn’t about to admit to anything. The words of the woman I first healed still rang strong within me: Are you skidge? Purity will be after you. Maybe I could pretend the healing hadn’t happened. No one would believe me anyway.
Doctor Frank was studying me with eager intensity — as if he wanted something from me. I couldn’t really trust him. I couldn’t trust anyone, ever, with my secret.
“How is she?” I asked, trying to sound casual. I knew I’d healed Elyle, but I just had to check.
“Oh, she’s fine. Ate like an elephant after her fall. We’re just running a few tests on her.”
Elyle was well. I had healed her. My body relaxed a degree, releasing a tightness that I hadn’t known I was holding. Yet, this doctor — what did he know? Our eyes remained locked, his probing and mine aching to shift away. Then the doctor and the room rippled in the air before me. Maybe it was the device in my neck, or maybe it was just dizziness. I shut my eyes and immediately felt the pull of sleep again. I was too tired to think about Elyle, withhold secrets from the doctor, or even worry about Purity.
“Well, you obviously need your rest. We’ll talk more about this later, shall we?” the doctor said.
Then I heard the door click shut.
I could tell from his tone of voice that he’d meant it. I knew I should have been concerned, but my whole body throbbed. I’d been through so much. Healing portraits, secret meetings with Jonah, clashes with Mother, and fear of Purity — the zigzag path of the last few weeks had exhausted me. I couldn’t remember the joy of drawing, the comfort of Jonah’s arms around me, or even the pleasure of food. Pain and weariness haunted my every breath. I burrowed under the thin blanket, grateful to escape into the deep freeze of sleep.
unnatural construct
I awoke shivering against the damp sheets, wondering how long I’d slept this time. Struggling to assemble the disjointed thoughts in my brain, I remembered the doctor’s disturbing comments about Elyle, and how I hadn’t even seen her or my parents yet. Strange. Surely Jonah would have come when he heard — even in Detention Block they allowed visitors. On the table by the bed lay a tray of nibbled food that I didn’t remember eating. How long had I been here? I tried to wipe the fog from my mind.
Then a fresh tremor assaulted me, halting all thought for a moment. I twisted around on the damp sheets to avoid the pain, before surrendering to it. The room collapsed in until the pain cleared. When only a dull throbbing pounded, the freakish bump on the back of my neck itched. I scratched at it, wishing I could just gouge out the anti-seizure device. Maybe it had helped, but I’d rather take my chances without it than be turned into skidge. Who knew what it might do to me? I had to convince Doctor Frank to remove it.
Sitting up only halfway, in case the pain crept back again, I looked around. The burgundy color of the walls was brighter than before, and the angle of the wall looked skewed. Was it the wall or me? I couldn’t tell.
Another shiver traveled up my arms and legs, and I remembered Doctor Frank’s words. If you need help, just call out. I wanted new sheets, although I wasn’t sure I had the strength to stand while someone changed them for me. Better yet, I wanted to convince Doctor Frank that I was well enough to go home. Well, I would have to get up.
“Hello?” I said to the empty room, feeling foolish.
“Yes?” the voice sounded flat and distant.
I spied the speaker on the wall by the door and directed my voice toward it. Could they hear everything? Creepy. “Can you, uh, please change the sheets?”
“Someone will be along soon.”
Half an hour later, I had endured a shower, put on a clean gown, and returned to fresh sheets tucked tightly around the mattress. I was just about to climb back into bed when a knock came at the door.
“Come in.” I called, ready to surprise Doctor Frank with my sudden recovery.
Elyle padded in, shutting the door behind her.
“Elyle! You’re… all right.”
Surprised to see her, I sank down on the edge of the bed. She walked toward me, alive and well. Tears filled my eyes but I blinked them back. Her right arm and neck seemed fine. Her skin had a healthy glow, although the lines in her face had deepened and she looked tired around the eyes.
“Shh. I’m not supposed to visit you,” she whispered, glancing over at the speaker on the wall. They could hear us, if they wanted to.
I wondered why she couldn’t visit me, but the sight of her reminded me of the horrible moment when I’d pushed her. I hung my head, grinding my knuckles briefly into my eyes to stop the tears. How could I have done that?
“Oh, Elyle, I’m so sorry for what happened,” I whispered back, examining the floor, my hands, the blanket — anything to avoid meeting her eyes.
Elyle sat beside me on the bed, patted my hand, then stroked my cheek. “You’re hot,” she said. I dared to look at her. In her eyes I saw forgiveness, concern, and something else. Her brows folded into knots that I’d never seen before.
“You are all right, aren’t you?” I asked. We wore matching gowns, and Elyle had on plastic hospital slippers, probably made from lifewort.
“Thanks to you.” Her smile pushed the lines back from her mouth and created two round balls out of her cheeks.
She’d forgiven me. I let out a deep sigh. “I can’t quite believe what happened.”
“You gave me a great gift, Lenni, but it cost you.” She spoke in soft tones. “Do you know you had a seizure?”
“The doctor told me.” We weren’t going to talk about the push. Maybe that was best.
“Heal yourself now, Lenni. I know you can get strong. I want us both to walk out of here as soon as possible.”
I nodded. I wanted that too, although I wasn’t so sure I’d ever feel well again.
“Do you still have your waterstone?” Elyle asked.
“No, it was in my pocket.” It hadn’t done much good protecting me, but I still wanted it back. “It’s gone with my clothes.” I frowned.
Elyle looked worried. “I’ll try to get it for you.”
“Thanks. And my clothes? Can you get those, too?”
The door swung open a crack.
“Can I come in now?” hissed a male voice. “Someone’s going to see me out here.”
I recognized the voice, but couldn’t place it. If it wasn’t Jonah, I didn’t want another visitor.
“Yes, Redge.” Elyle stood, smiling.
“Redge?” I made a face. What was he doing here? I tugged my gown down lower over my legs.
Redge wheeled into the room, wearing an Academy uniform.
“You’ve got the wrong room.” I forced my lips into a smile.
“No, Lenni. I asked Redge to come. He helped you during your seizure.”
“Oh?” Redge helped me? From his wheelchair? How?
Redge colored red. “It was nothing much. I’d read about seizures when I was messing around in the medic files with Dawg. I just kept people back, made you more comfortable.” He was whispering, too.
“I… I gues
s… well… thanks.” I backed farther onto the bed and pulled the covers up over my legs.
“You don’t need to thank me.” Redge blushed deeper. “I’ve been waiting for days for you to wake.”
“We all have,” said Elyle.
“Days! How long have I been…?”
“Two days. Today is Sunday.” Elyle’s voice was gentle. She squeezed my hand through the covers.
My head reeled. “I’ve been here two days?”
“Two and a half, really,” said Redge.
I frowned at him. Why was he here? Where were my parents? Not that I missed Mother, but why wasn’t she ordering the medics around? She wouldn’t miss this opportunity to control the situation.
“Where’s Dad? And Mother?” I asked Elyle.
Elyle’s tiger-striped eyes clouded. She looked away. “They’ve been detained for tests, I’m told, and they’re forbidden to contact you until the testing is finished. I’m not supposed to talk to you either.”
“Why not? What testing?” My heart thumped faster. This couldn’t be happening.
“It’s Purity,” Elyle whispered, frowning. “No communication until the results are in. They tell me it’s standard.”
“Purity?” Oh, Mur, they’ve found out about the healing! I tried not to panic, but tension gripped me like tight bands around my chest. “What are they testing for?”
“They want to know if you’re skidge,” Redge butted in, his voice quiet enough so only we could hear.
“That’s ridiculous!” Why had Elyle brought him here? I was tired. I couldn’t handle this.
“Sorry,” Redge said, “but I overheard Doctor Frank talking with a Purity officer named Rylant. She came sniffing around after your seizure. That’s what I wanted to tell you. Rylant is suspicious because of the way Elyle’s fractures healed. She doesn’t think it was a natural phenomenon. She’s testing your parents’ DNA, and Elyle’s, to compare it against yours. She thinks you might be an unnatural construct.”
Rylant — I knew that name. But from where? My head was spinning dizzily again, and his words hit me like a punch in the stomach. Purity. DNA testing. This was it. Purity was really after me this time.
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