I couldn’t think of what to order. My stomach was still queasy and I didn’t really want anything.
“I’ll have the usual,” said Redge.
“All right. Lenni?”
“Uh…”
“How about I whip you up a drink? I like to experiment.”
“Sure.”
Rae went behind the counter and began to clatter bottles together, pour, and mix. She used her good hand to hold a bottle while she twisted it open with her flipper. Amazing, how well she could do delicate work. She moved with beauty and energy, and with no shame for her twisted hand.
“You’re going to like her,” said Redge, staring at Rae.
“You wanted me to meet Rae?”
“Yeah. And I want to ask her something.” His cheeks flushed pink. “She understands.”
“What do you want to ask her?”
He shrugged and turned a deeper pink. “It was something you said. About how you would let Doctor Frank fix you, if you were me.”
“Oh.” Had I interfered too much — told him what to do?
I glanced around the place as I waited for the drink I didn’t want. The man with the ponytail — Rae had called him Duke — was still raging to the other two in wheelchairs. Duke seemed normal enough, even if he was too loud. He had the fuzz of a new beard on his chin, and he talked as if he were full of fire.
“No way they can push us around,” he was saying. “We’ve got rights, too. They can’t just go around sterilizing people whenever they want. They can’t just say that this person is all right and that one’s a weed. They have too much power. That’s why we’ve got to band together. We’ve got to work like a team. We’ll be stronger together.”
I admired his courage, but his words made me uncomfortable. It wouldn’t help if Purity found me here with this ranting revolutionary who was probably skidge. I wanted to go back to my room right away. This wasn’t worth losing more privileges.
I opened my mouth to tell Redge that it was time to leave. Then, as if he had read my mind, he said, “Purity doesn’t come down here much.”
I nodded. “Redge, I think we should…”
Rae returned with two drinks. Mine was tall, very blue, with two straws. Rae set them down, then surprised me by sitting with us.
I wondered what she wanted, but Rae didn’t seem to want anything. She joined us in watching Duke and the others. Maybe I should just leave, I thought. Yet I needed Redge, and Dawg, to get me back. I’d give him five more minutes, then we were going.
I sipped my drink to be polite. The taste exploded in my mouth — a rich and sweet fruity flavor at first with a subtle tart aftertaste that almost made me pucker.
“Pure! What a drink!”
“You like it?”
I noticed that Rae’s eyes were uneven — one larger than the other. They were warm, welcoming. Suddenly, I was terribly thirsty. I took a longer drink. The cool liquid streamed down my throat and into my stomach. It curbed my dizziness in a way that Doctor Frank’s medicine couldn’t. “Yeah. What is it?”
“I think I’ll call it Glacier Juice.” She smiled, and I found myself smiling, too.
We sat in silence again, until I began to feel awkward. I should make conversation — say something, but I didn’t know what. Finally, I said, “Who’s that guy?” pointing to Duke.
“The leader of the local cabal.” Rae gave me the same mild smile as before.
“Cabal?” I asked.
“A secret group trying to overthrow Purity.”
Redge laughed.
A warning jolt shot through me. “Really?” A whole new world was opening up — a hidden world of truth machines, monitors, and killer work-camp guards in the Beyond. I could believe almost anything.
“No, but that’s what Duke likes to think. He works here — cooks and cleans tables — when he’s not grandstanding.”
“Oh.” I squirmed in my chair and gave Redge an anxious look.
“Don’t worry,” Rae said. “He’s harmless, although he has a lot of ideas. His ideas aren’t always so harmless.”
“Rae…” began Redge. Then he stopped awkwardly and sipped his drink.
“What’s on your mind, Redge?”
“I, uh, want to ask you something. Doctor Frank, he wants to do a procedure. He wants to fix my legs. He’s tried three times and he never gets it right. Something that Lenni said, well, made me think. Maybe I should try him again.”
A long silence hung between them.
Then Rae said, “You asking me what to do?”
“I guess.”
“Hmm.” Rae turned to me. “And you think he should?”
“I don’t know.” How did I get in the middle of Redge’s problem? “I just know that I would try to get better, if I could.” And get Mur back. And get out of this place. I just wanted my own life back, however messed up it was.
Rae looked long and hard at me. “That’s another story, I suppose.” She turned back to Redge. “People who are sick often expect they’ll overcome their illnesses one day. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes it doesn’t. Doctor Frank is offering you a chance. Maybe he can make you walk, maybe he can’t.”
“I’m not asking you to tell me if the procedure can work,” Redge said. “I know that I’d be taking my chances. I guess I just wanted to know if you think I should bother trying.”
“Hmm.”
I took little sips of my drink, hoping to make it last longer. The silence seemed to last forever. It was sad, really, that Redge had come to Rae to ask for advice. Yet with no family, and no one he could trust, what else could he do? At least Mother and Dad cared about me in their own twisted, controlling way. And I had Elyle and Jonah, too.
“After I was born,” Rae raised her misshapen hand, “my father rarely acknowledged me. I think he pretended I didn’t exist, which was easy with six kids around, but I used to wish I were different. Normal. I wished he would like me. Then I realized something.”
“What?”
“It took me twenty-five years, but I finally understood that we’re all imperfect. That we need to celebrate the unique flaws in each of us. It’s a concept called wabisabi. “She pointed at a painting on the rough brick wall. “See that picture?”
We nodded. The painting showed the last moments of life of a flower with large pink petals.
“To me, it shows the beauty of the falling petals.” Rae continued. “The flower is dying, yes, but the satin of the petals glimmers where the sun lights it. The earth is dark against the shine. That’s beautifully imperfect.”
The painting reminded me of Fwatt’s rather daring lecture on art censorship. Purity only fostered stifled, controlled images of itself. Nothing like this flower, with its raw, haunting splendor. I was surprised they even allowed it.
“Is that why you don’t have a prosthetic?” I asked, as I pondered this idea of imperfections being beautiful.
“Yes.”
“Did you ever…” Redge glanced at her hand. “Did you ever try to fix it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“My father hid me away. By the time I could have arranged to have it fixed myself, I’d adjusted to life as I was. It’s part of me now.”
“So you’re not skidge?” The question came out before I could stop it.
Rae laughed. “No. I’m too old for the genetic games they play now. That kind of fancy science wasn’t around when I was young.”
Duke was getting louder again. “We’ve got to fight together.”
“Duke!” Rae called.
“Yeah, Rae?” Duke’s eyebrows were wrinkled together. He glared at Rae.
“Come here a minute.”
Rae turned and spoke softly to us. “I’ve got to settle him down. He can get out of hand.”
“I can see that,” I said, relieved that he had stopped thundering.
“Duke, this is Lenni. You’ve met Redge before. Lenni asked if I was skidge,” Rae said to Duke as he stood over us.
Duke laughed and Rae joined him. I was left out of the joke. They were laughing at me. At the same time, I could sense the depth of the relationship between Rae and Duke. They were not just casual acquaintances. The ties between them were strong and firm. They had an under-standing that I could only glimpse.
“Are you?” Duke’s smile faded and he pierced me with blue eyes so icy they could burn.
“What?”
Duke slapped me on the shoulder. “Did you think you were the only one in Dawn? There are others hiding somewhere.”
I was speechless. He thought I was skidge! I glared, ready to tell him off, when he continued.
“Do you have any special abilities?” Duke leaned over, examining me. “Can you hear ultrasonic sounds or tap into the seismic waves in the Earth’s core? Anything unusual?”
“I’m not skidge!” I raised my voice. “This is all a mistake. The tests will clear everything up.”
“The tests?” Duke raised one eyebrow. “I hope they do.”
“Are you skidge?” I challenged him. “What’s wrong with you?”
“What?” Duke’s eyes bulged for a second. “What did you say?”
I clapped a hand over my mouth, wishing I’d said it differently, but he’d challenged me first.
Rae laughed out loud then, and I relaxed a little, removing my hand.
“I mean, you don’t look like skidge,” I said. Duke didn’t seem ill, broken, or even weak. Maybe he’d been corrected. “But I thought you must be, since you were talking about genetic rights.”
“No, it’s not me.” Duke spoke bluntly. He wasn’t holding a grudge against me. “It was my brother. They took him when he was only six years old, even though they couldn’t prove he was skidge. I’ve been trying to get him back ever since.” He noticed my expression of horror. “Quit gaping, kid. It’s much like anyone else’s story.”
“Sure is.” Rae nodded her head.
Redge glanced again at Rae. “So you’re telling me not to do the procedure?”
“Not at all.” Rae covered his hand with her flipper and I flinched. “I’m just saying that you don’t have to be perfect. Either way, with or without the procedure, you’ll never be perfect.”
Redge nodded, but he looked confused. “We’ve got to go,” he said.
“Yes, we do.” I swallowed the last of my drink. The bitter aftertaste overpowered the sweetness now, and I was beginning to feel weak again.
“All right,” said Rae.
I rose to leave, sorry to go back, but eager to get there before a medic came to check on me.
“Come see us again soon.” Duke patted Redge on the shoulder. “I want to talk to you about my campaign.”
“Give them a chance to breathe, Duke.” Rae’s voice was almost scolding. “They’ve got enough to handle without getting involved in your affairs.”
“Everyone who can has to fight, Rae.” I heard Duke say as we reached the exit. “We can’t get anywhere by sitting around.”
Redge smiled. I shook my head.
“Duke!” Rae said as we entered the hall, “You don’t have to recruit everyone you meet.”
who am i?
“So if they labeled you a biohazard,” I asked Redge, “why do they let you out to the Academy?”
We were safely back in my room. I’d been surprised at how easily I’d just strolled past the medic station with Redge beside me. When I realized that no one had missed us, I almost wanted to keep walking. It had been hard to make myself return to the prison of my tiny, barren room, and I didn’t want Redge to leave yet.
“Not all skidge are treated the same.” Redge seemed eager to explain. His own room down the hall was probably as bleak and empty as mine. “You have a full reproductive classification, right?”
I nodded, sinking down on the edge of my bed, exhausted.
“Well, there are two other classifications — restricted and discontinued.”
“Discontinued? Then the rumors are true?” My mouth hung open.
“They are. Purity finds a way to justify it.” Redge scowled and shook his head. “They have no problem destroying skidge if they don’t want a DNA leak.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have asked, I thought. Redge’s stories were too horrific. Yet I couldn’t help myself. I had to know what could happen to skidge like Redge, Duke’s brother, and the others that Duke had said were hiding in Dawn. Was it all true? It was too terrible to consider, yet too terrible to ignore.
“The lucky ones,” Redge continued, “get a restricted classification, like me. Restricted skidge are always sterilized, not that it would stop someone who really wanted to reproduce. They’re expelled into the Beyond, sent to a work camp, or confined indefinitely — unless they can benefit Purity somehow. Then Purity bends the rules and lets them out with monitoring. That’s why I say Purity is a joke. If they’re so worried about pure DNA, then why let me out? Or are they just using me while I’m productive? Maybe they’ll discontinue me when I’m older!”
“They couldn’t do that!” I said, alarmed. I felt hot, dizzy, and overwhelmed.
“Sure they could.” Redge looked grim. “I’ll get Dawg to show you proof, if you want.”
Then the door rattled on its hinges. I jumped. There were three loud raps.
“Open up at once,” bellowed Doctor Frank.
I tensed, suddenly wide awake, wondering how the door got locked. “He can’t find you here,” I whispered to Redge.
The sky through the open window showed an orangey-pink sunset. How long had we been gone?
Redge’s face was calm. He shrugged. “Too late for that.” Then he said in a loud voice to Doctor Frank, “Whatever you say. Door open, Dawg.”
The lock clicked. Dawg had locked my room!
Doctor Frank bustled in with his lab coat flapping. Two Purity officers filled the doorway. My small room became way too crowded.
“Hey, Doctor Frank.” Redge sounded casual.
I couldn’t speak. Maybe Doctor Frank didn’t know I’d left the room. Maybe he just thought Redge had sneaked in. I hoped he wouldn’t tell Rylant, or force me to have a monitor.
“I know about your latest antics, Redge.” The doctor’s forehead was creased and the blotches of dry skin now peppered his face as well as his balding head.
“I just wanted to check out this room.” Redge stared him down. “I’m thinking of changing my accommodations.”
Doctor Frank’s face turned red, making the dry patches stand out like white frost.
“As a result of your actions, security will be even tighter around here.” He waggled a finger at both of us. “Officers have been assigned to shadow each of you, and they will not leave their posts without a verbal order from Officer Rylant. Neither of you will be left alone again.”
Behind him, the Purity officers looked bored.
“The jailer is tightening the shackles, Dawg. A monitor is not enough.” Redge spun his chair exactly 180 degrees and stared out the window.
“I’m not here to argue,” said Doctor Frank, his voice softening. “You know I want the best for you, but you have to follow the rules.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Return to your room, Redge. We’ll talk about this later. I’ll come by this evening, after my shift.”
Redge rolled his eyes.
Doctor Frank changed focus abruptly. “Now, Lenni, you need to come with me,” he said, his eyes avoiding mine. “The results of the tests are in.”
He left, expecting me to follow him. The Purity officers stepped into the hall to let him pass.
I couldn’t move. My legs were stiff, my arms hung weakly. The tests were in. That was fast. Even though I knew I wasn’t genetically altered because of my DNA registration, even though I knew this whole thing had to be a mistake — I could not, would not, make myself follow Doctor Frank.
“Come along,” one officer said from the hall.
My head spun in hot, dizzying circles. I thought of Duke and how he had assumed that I was skidge. But I couldn’t be.
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“You all right, Lenni?” Redge’s hand was on my arm.
My eyes found their focus again. “Yes.”
“Go on. Just get it over with.”
I forced my feet to shuffle out of the room.
One flight down in another part of the medical unit, two more Purity officers in matching silver uniforms stood guard near the doorway of a tiny room. Inside, Rylant wore the same hateful uniform, as did several more Purity officers. Doctor Frank, of course, was in his white lab coat. In my medical gown, I felt unprotected, but that was probably their intent all along.
Then I saw Elyle standing off to one side and I rushed to hug her.
“Oh, Elyle, I’m so glad to see you.”
Why had they allowed her in here? Wasn’t she off-limits, too? Maybe Elyle’s presence meant that all was well — that we would both be released soon.
“Me, too, Lenni.”
I ignored the awkward silence around us as I held onto Elyle and buried my face in her shoulder, inhaling the perfume of medical soap, but no lavender. Elyle smelled wrong, and I wanted to cry.
Doctor Frank cleared his throat. Elyle pulled away from me, but not before I caught the look of dread on her face that made me more nervous than before. Something was wrong. Elyle was upset.
“Let’s begin.” Doctor Frank motioned for us to sit around the circular, polished black table that took up most of the room.
I perched on a chair between Elyle and Doctor Frank. Rylant and the other Purity officers sat opposite us.
A cold chill passed through me, then I began to sweat. My system was so messed up, so confused. The room was dry, and I thought fleetingly of Rae’s soothing drink. The table caught the gleam of the harsh florescent lights and reflected it back. The white walls were a refreshing change from my burgundy room, but they, too, added to the glare.
Elyle squeezed my hand briefly under the table, then let it go. I took a deep breath as Rylant began to speak.
“We will be showing you recorded interviews with both Leonard and Mara Hannix. My officers will record your responses. Anything you say or do here will be on permanent record with the Genetic Purity Council. Let’s begin.”
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