by CJ Brightley
I found her scrubbing the floor in one of the back hallways, another girl not far away. “May I help?”
She looked up in surprise. “Why, sir?”
Phraa. I raised my eyebrows in what I hoped was a humorous look. “I haven’t scrubbed many floors and would like a little more practice.”
She frowned in confusion but handed over her rag. “As you wish, sir. I’ll be back in a moment.” She stood and disappeared down a hallway, returning in a few minutes with another rag, as well as an extra towel to fold under my knees. She knelt and began scrubbing again, not looking up. Now what?
“What else do you do in the palace, aside from the floors?”
“I work in the kitchen sometimes. I wash clothes.” She glanced at me quickly, clearly a little uncomfortable. Finally she asked very quietly, “Do you need something, sir?”
Honesty. Still I hesitated. “I’d like to get to know you. Clearly you’re busy. I hoped that by joining you in your work I might earn a bit of your time.”
There was a long silence and I kept my eyes on the floor.
“I imagine Nalani prompted you to do so.” Her voice was very quiet, almost brittle. “I’m sorry, sir. She’s very young.”
I wondered how badly I’d upset her, but I smiled, hoping she could see I wasn’t irritated. “You don’t think I am here only for her, do you? She gave me courage to act on my interest.”
Again she was silent, though the slowing of her scrubbing showed that she had heard me. “I do not imagine you lack courage, sir. It is your interest I question.”
I didn’t really have an answer, so I scrubbed in silence for some time as we moved down the hall. The marble of the palace floors was beautiful. It was not bad work, though my ribs began to ache from the unusual posture. When we turned the corner to another room, I sat up for a minute to stretch.
“Sir, you don’t need to continue. I’ll tell Lani that you helped. Thank you. But more is unnecessary.” She smiled, and I warmed to the kind light in her eyes.
“I believe you misunderstand me. My interest is real enough. How old is Lani? Thirteen? Fourteen?” She nodded. “You don’t think I can be ordered about so easily by a fourteen year old, do you?”
“I suppose not.” She looked down and blushed, which made me smile. Lani was right; Riona was quite pretty. The two cousins bore a passing resemblance, but it was already clear they were very different. When Riona wasn’t looking I rubbed my ribs. They had been worse again since I’d been ill. I’d injured them before, cracked in training and cracked or broken in a few other skirmishes, but never so badly. I wondered how long it would be before they were fully healed.
As I bent to my work again she glanced at me. We worked in silence for quite some time, though I knew I should say something. Women make me tongue-tied in the best of times, and I was at a loss.
“What was it like in Rikuto?”
When I glanced up, she smiled shyly.
“I didn’t see much of it, really. The people are very poor now, though it wasn’t always so. Tafari is a good king, and did what he could for them, but they’ve had droughts and raids from the Tarvil for years. I think with the treaty it will be better for them.”
She nodded.
“What do you remember of your parents?” I wondered if it was a bad question, one I did not yet have the right to ask.
But she smiled as she answered. “My mother was very generous with her time. She always had time to listen to me, and she helped everyone she knew. She spent a lot of time arranging my wedding before she died.”
“You’re married?” I tried to hide my shock. Had her husband died, then? Surely Lani wouldn’t have encouraged me to speak with a married woman.
“No, we didn’t actually marry. We signed the engagement papers before she died, but he met someone else. He asked to be released, and so we annulled it.” She didn’t sound bitter, but I wondered how badly it had stung her to be so blatantly rejected.
“I’m fortunate he was such a fool. I should thank him someday.”
She giggled. “I wouldn’t have thought you so bold, sir.”
“Should I not be?” She looked up at me and I smiled, feeling awkward and shy. “I don’t want to offend you.”
“I’m not offended.” She looked down. I wondered whether it was to avoid laughing at me.
“What else do you remember?” I’ve wondered before how I would be different if I had known my parents. Would I be more empathetic? More gentle? What if they had not been kind themselves? Would I be bitter, or would I learn from their failures?
“I don’t remember my father much. He died when I was very young. He laughed a lot, I remember that. He was young when he died, only a few years older than I am now. I wish I’d known him better. He made my mother very happy.”
“I’m sorry. It must have been difficult for her.”
“It was. I realize that now, but she carried on with a grace I can only envy. She would have been my age, a little older, when he died. With me to care for, of course.”
We worked in silence then. I racked my brain, but I had no idea what to say. What does a woman desire? Looks I did not have, and I certainly didn’t have a smooth tongue. But perhaps a sincere heart would be enough, at least enough for her to judge me for whatever merits I might possess and not for my utter lack of superficial charms.
“Is it true you were a foundling?”
“Yes.”
“So you were raised by the military? What was it like? Where did you live?”
I suppose I’d never questioned it, since I knew many other foundlings. “I lived with other boys and our guardians. When I was old enough, three or four, I started at a military school. Most of the boys were foundlings, or youngest sons of large families without enough money to feed them all.” I sat up to stretch my ribs again.
“You don’t have to scrub the floor. I’m used to it, but it does hurt your back at first.” She smiled. “I’ll still talk to you, if you wish.”
“My back is fine.” I bent to work again, but she stifled a laugh and I looked up.
“Are you showing off? It’s hard work and takes some getting used to. I won’t think less of you for not wanting to do it. It’s a servant’s job anyway.” She was grinning, and I blinked.
“I don’t think I am. Am I?” Women frighten me, not least because around them I hardly know my own mind.
She bit her lip. “I’m sorry if I offended you, sir. I was only trying to say that you needn’t suffer to impress me. Your reputation speaks for itself.” She looked solemn, almost upset.
“I’m not offended. My back is fine. It’s my ribs that hurt, but not enough to make me stop. I’d rather stay and speak with you.” I smiled, hoping she could see that I really wasn’t offended, but she frowned.
“Your ribs? Why?”
It sounded foolish when I said it. “I broke them a few months ago. I was slow getting out of the way of a horse.”
“It kicked you?” She sounded horrified. “That’s why I don’t like horses.”
“Actually it stumbled. I was in the way.”
She blinked. “Oh. Was the rider hurt? Why didn’t he do something?”
It was my own fault. It’s the way soldiers talk, minimizing things. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t clear. It was in a skirmish.”
“Is that a battle?” She had completely stopped working and was staring at me in interest.
“A small one, yes.”
“Was it the battle against Rikuto in Senlik? The one that bought the king the support of the suvari and helped start negotiations with Rikuto?”
Her eyes were wide and I looked down. “It wasn’t quite like that. It wasn’t the Rikutan army, only a raiding party. The rumors have made it seem more than it was.”
“How many of them were there?”
I licked my lips. “There were sixteen, but I didn’t fight them all.”
“But there was no one with you? What about the king?” She seemed curious rather than critical o
f him, but I was glad Hakan hadn’t heard. It would have stung him.
“The townsmen would have fought for their daughters, but I’m glad it didn’t come to that. Hakan was in training, and would have fought at need. We were fortunate there was no need. It isn’t a king’s place to cross swords with common raiders.” In fact, he hadn’t even carried a sword then; he’d been practicing with the wooden one I’d made for him.
“Of course not. But that leaves only you. So the rumors are true then, that you defeated the raiding party alone?”
I shrugged, feeling uncomfortable speaking of it. “Rumors have a way of growing at each telling. I don’t know what you’ve heard.” I bent again to work, though I hoped she was not offended by my reticence.
“You don’t wish to speak of it?” She asked after a long silence.
When I looked at her, her expression was one of compassion rather than the irritation I’d almost expected.
“Battle is ugly. I’ll answer your questions, but I’d prefer to speak with you on more pleasant topics.”
7
Riona
“May I help?” He ducked under a string of drying peppers hanging from the ceiling.
“You can cut up the potatoes.” I couldn’t help smiling a little. I was making a pie crust, trying to make sure it sealed properly.
“How small?”
“Like this.”
He nodded quietly and set to work beside me. I glanced at him from time to time. His hands were quick and sure, the potato pieces all precise cubes.
Lani came in a rush some minutes later, when I was still trying to think of something to say to him.
“Ria, His Majesty wants tea with the princess in the garden.”
I nodded. “You can make the tray if you want.”
She was fascinated by the Rikutan princess and took every opportunity to serve her. She stood across the table from Kemen and smiled up at him. “Sir, do you now work in the kitchen?”
“I do.” He smiled slightly.
“You’re quite good at cutting potatoes.”
I glared at her. She had cheek to tease such an important man so impudently. Just because Noriso put up with it didn’t mean that she should start with the king’s officials. I’d thought she had better manners.
“I’ve had practice.” He smiled a little more.
She cocked her head to one side. “Are you trying to impress Ria?”
“Lani!” My voice was sharp. I mouthed silently, Stop it!
He stared at the potatoes as if they were the most fascinating things he’d ever seen. Lani blushed, realizing that she’d gone too far. I think we were both a little shocked when he spoke very quietly, still studying the potatoes intently.
“No, I’m not that bold. I just want an excuse to be near her.”
My mouth dropped open and Lani grinned at me. She arranged blueberries, raspberries, and slices of moonfruit on the tray in a graceful arc around some cheese. My face felt hot and red, and I pushed the pie away and pulled the next over.
“I’m finished with the potatoes. What else can I do?”
“Put them in that pot, please. The knives are dull. You could sharpen them.” I kept my eyes on the table as I spoke.
Lani handed him the knife she was using to cut the bread. “Would you mind doing this one first?”
He took it from her and began to strop it expertly. She watched, but she couldn’t keep silent for long.
“Do you have practice sharpening knives too?”
He nodded.
“What about cooking?”
His lips twitched into a smile. “I’ve cooked a little on campaigns. That doesn’t mean I’m good at it.”
Lani grinned. “What else are you not good at?”
“Talking.” He studied the edge of the knife before handing it back to her handle first. “Careful.”
“Thank you.” She finished cutting the bread, put three roses on the side, dipped a little pot of honey for the bread, and tripped away with an impish grin. I rolled my eyes.
“I’m sorry, sir.”
“Why?” He smiled almost shyly.
I blushed even more and pinched the edges of the piecrust.
“I don’t mind her teasing.”
I didn’t know what to say. He stood in silence a moment.
“Would you like to go riding tomorrow?”
I glanced up at him. “I have to help prepare for the ambassador’s arrival.”
“What about the next day?”
I bit my lip. “I don’t like horses much.” It was a bit of an understatement. They frighten me. They’ve always seemed terribly dangerous, dumb as rocks, skittish, unpredictable, and armed with hooves and big teeth.
He seemed to hesitate. “We could walk instead.”
When I raised my eyes again he was staring at the floor.
“When?” I was nervous, blushing, unsure what to do.
He smiled. “Tomorrow, after Hakan’s meeting with the ambassador.”
The next day I served the tea during the meeting, and so I discovered that the reason he’d said after the meeting with the Rikutan ambassador was because he attended the meeting as well. While the king spoke with the ambassador, Kemen spoke with the military liaison. They had maps spread out nearly covering the table. I put the tray with fruit and honey-almond pastries near his elbow, and he glanced up with a quick thanks. Then he smiled, and it was more than he might have smiled at someone else. I ducked my head, feeling my face heat.
The meeting went long, and I was working in the kitchen when he found me. I was thankful we didn’t see Lani on the way out. She would have said something to make me blush even more, and I was already feeling foolish enough. What kind of girl, at twenty-six, panics at the thought of a simple walk in a flower garden with a man?
I wanted him to like me, wanted him to think I was pretty. But I felt absurdly out of place. He was the king’s dearest friend, a national hero, a distinguished and decorated soldier. I was a servant, and I would have been surprised if the king even knew my name or how long I’d served in the palace.
Our conversation was halting and absurdly polite. We were both nervous. He used his bootknife to cut a pink rose for me, searching intently to find the most perfect one.
I smiled at him over it. “You know the colors have different meanings?”
“I didn’t know. What does pink mean?”
“Admiration or joy.”
“What about white?”
“Purity.”
He smiled and cut a white rose from another bush. I closed my eyes when I smelled it, and when I opened them he was smiling slightly, his eyes on my face. I blushed and looked down, hoping he didn’t see how disconcerted I was. Partly because he was a man, and I wasn’t used to any man’s attentions, and partly, though it shames me now to say it, because his eyes were so eerily bright against his dark skin.
He cut another rose from a bush a little farther on, a pale purple. “What does that one mean?”
I swallowed. “Enchantment. Captivation.”
8
Kemen
I folded sheets with her in the courtyard. The autumn was golden and perfect, and when she smiled, my heart sang. Everything was brighter with her. I swished clothes about in hot water over a fire with a long pole on laundry day. She showed me how to seal piecrusts so the blueberries would stay in, how to stuff a pheasant with cheese and herbs, how to cook apples with spices, nuts, and butter so the smell was heavenly. The knowledge mattered little to me, but working beside her was joyous. I wanted to please her. When she smiled and nodded her thanks, my heart leaped. She and Sinta sang sometimes when they worked. She had a beautiful voice, full of sunlight and joy.
She was always very kind, but she was kind to everyone. That made it difficult to guess what she thought of me, whether my tentative hope was justified. I wished a thousand blessings on Lani for that awkward moment in the kitchen. Though I wasn’t confident in guessing her intentions, she could not have been mistake
n about mine. Riona smiled when I cut her that first rose, and after that I left her one every morning tucked in the handle of the door to her apartment. I asked the princess Kveta what the colors meant.
White for the purity of my love. Pink for joy and admiration. Peach for sincerity. Yellow for my delight in her. Pale purple for enchantment. A velvety cream for her perfection. After two months, when I’d become more bold, a dark red for love. Once, on a particularly adventurous day, I cut an orange rose and left it for her, a deep orange for passion and desire. When I saw her later, she flushed crimson and I stared at the floor, but I didn’t regret it. She didn’t tell me to take my attentions elsewhere, and I took that as a cautious, blushing consent. I scarcely slept that night for smiling.
I spent every moment I could with her, but I was busy with work for Hakan. Within a week of Hakan’s coronation, Yoshiro Kepa, commander of the kedani on the northern border, had been tasked with addressing the growing difficulties with the Tarvil. The border settlers had been having trouble for over a year, but the persistent raids had greatly increased in the spring. Kepa’s reports over the months had grown increasingly anxious, despite the reinforcements Hakan had sent and the letters of instruction and advice I dictated at Hakan’s request.
“Are you going riding?” Lani looked up at me wide-eyed and eager.
“Yes.”
“Can I go to the stable with you?”
“Now?”
Lani nodded hopefully.
“Yes. Why?”
She followed me, half-running to keep up though I slowed my steps for her. “I just want to see the horses. I can’t go by myself. It’s,” she hesitated. “Well, Mother doesn’t trust the grooms.”
“Ah. Come on then.”
In the stable, she smiled with delight when I gave her some carrots and apples to feed to the horses. “Keep your hand flat. Don’t make it so easy for her to bite off your fingers.”