by Haywood, RR
‘Yes,’ Paula says still laughing as she pushes her arm round Lilly’s shoulders, ‘thank you, Lilly,’ she adds with kiss to the girl’s cheek.
‘Thank you, Lilly,’ Marcy says, leaning round Paula to rub Lilly’s arm.
‘To Lilly,’ Clarence calls out lifting his coffee mug.
‘To Lilly!’ Blowers joins in as the words get taken up with coffee mugs lifted.
She smiles and takes the compliment, blushing delicately but lifting her own mug in response. ‘To you.’
‘Right,’ Paula says as the noise settles down.
‘Oh no,’ Howie groans, ‘she’s organising.’
‘Someone has to do it, you lot would be wearing each other’s underpants otherwise.’
‘Blowers…’
‘Yes, Cookey,’ Paula cuts him off, ‘we know Blowers likes wearing other people’s pants.’
‘I do not,’ Blowers retorts.
‘So,’ Paula says, looking round with a glare that settles the room, ‘I want to have a look around with Lilly, if that’s okay with you?’
‘Of course,’ Lilly says quickly.
‘Charlie,’ Paula says pointing at her, ‘to the doctors and get your wounds checked. Someone needs to see what state Maddox is in.’
‘I’ll do that,’ Howie says.
‘Roy, sorry, love but you’re now the designated medic so get what you need from the hospital while we’re here.’
‘I’m not a doctor.’
‘You are now, you might as well go with Charlie,’ Paula says, ‘are we sleeping here or in the house tonight?’
‘House?’ Lilly asks.
‘We thought we’d stay in one of the houses on the bay tonight,’ Paula says, ‘we’ve got the horse and the vehicles and, well, some of the lads have bad…’
‘I’m happy with it now,’ Blowers cuts in
‘Okay,’ Paula says, looking round, ‘but we do have Jess and the vehicles so…’
‘We’ll take the house,’ Howie says, ‘we can move quickly then if anything happens.’
‘That okay with you, Lilly?’ Marcy asks.
‘Of course,’ Lilly says.
‘Weapons sorted, refill the ammunition from the stores, get our kit sorted and then downtime,’ Paula says, ‘everyone happy?’
‘Where we eating?’ Clarence asks.
‘Might as well eat over here then head back to the house to sleep,’ Howie says, ‘okay with you, Lilly?’
‘This is your fort, Mr Howie. You do not have to ask me…’
‘Oh no,’ Howie says, smiling as he cuts her off, ‘your fort, your rules. We abide by what you say.’
‘Okay,’ she concedes, ‘then I think it would be better for you to eat here and let the people talk and meet you. They don’t know you like I do and I think it would serve a purpose.’
‘We’ll eat here then,’ Paula says and points another two fingers at Cookey and Blinky, ‘best behaviour you two.’
‘Yes, Miss,’ Blinky says.
‘Weapons?’ Howie asks.
‘There are no weapons in the fort,’ Lilly says, ‘only the guards at the front and on the munitions store. However, that really is something you should decide.’
‘Mohammed and I will retain sidearms and knives,’ Dave says.
‘We’ll stay armed,’ Howie says, ‘rifles on, pistols holstered but have spare magazines ready. You can leave axes and hand weapons in here if you want.’
‘One more thing,’ Paula says, dropping her voice as she looks to the door to make sure no one can hear them, ‘we might be immune but we don’t advertise that fact. If anyone asks just change the subject or say you don’t know. If they persist then send them to me or Howie…’
‘Not me,’ Howie says, ‘you and Marcy can deal with that one.’
‘Send them to me or Marcy then,’ Paula says, ‘we don’t know what we have or what we are so it’s best left for now. Everyone understand? Right, good. Now, Lilly. I would love the guided tour…’
Thirty Three
It feels so strange. Like returning to your childhood home. You remember the cupboards being big and dark and deep whereas they are just normal sized cupboards. Your parents’ bedroom was a place of wonder and mystery. It’s just another room but there’s still a feeling inside. Like a disjointed sensation of seeing something through the eyes of a child and an adult at the same time.
It’s like that now. Everywhere I look has a memory and the emotions from those memories are still attached but the actual place is completely different now. I could list each and every memory, who it involved, what I was doing, what the person in the memory was doing, how I felt and every emotion I felt then and now. But what’s the point?
Did we really mass inside those gates and make ready to charge out onto the flatlands that aren’t there anymore? Did we fire those cannons from the top and wait for Nick to fire the last shot from the GPMG?
The fort was lost to us, to our group. In our hearts I mean. What it stood for no longer held resonance for us. We’d given up on it with our hearts and minds to let someone else worry about it and by doing that, we realised that our place is not to stay within these walls but to go out and play the biggest game of chess that has ever been played.
Now though? Well I’m buggered if I know. It looks and feels like a completely different place and like I thought earlier, it’s the fort but as the fort should always have been.
There are new people arriving all the time and they’re dealt with the same way my sister and Sergeant Hopewell dealt with them. Names taken, details recorded. What skills do you have? They get checked medically then absorbed and I have the fortune to be standing outside the offices smoking when a new group are shown in by Sam and Pea and I see the expressions on their faces.
We had something to compare to so the wonder for us was in that comparison to what we left behind. What the newcomers see is every whispered hope coming true. They’ve walked, trudged, hidden, walked more, taken vehicles and put their lives at risk to reach this point. Then they step through the gates and see friendly faces smiling at them. They smell food being cooked over open fires and see children being cared for. They see a huge open place with strong walls. They see order and security and every mile of the journeys they have taken plays out on their faces. Some simply stand and stare. Others break down to weep on the ground with husbands and wives hugging children close to their breast.
We work fast as the sky starts to fade and the first tendrils of the blanket of night starts to ease into the sky. Our weapons are cleaned and made ready then we get more crates of ammunition from the stores to be stacked ready to be taken over to the vehicles. Everyone gets a pistol now and those too are checked and made ready. Axes and knives are given new blades and every buckle, strap and shoe lace is checked.
Charlie goes to the doctors and gets the all clear. Her ear will always have a chunk missing and her face will always have a ragged scar but Roy did everything that could be done at the scene. Roy, for his turn, gets everything checked. None of his bruises or scrapes from the fights but the lumps in his backs, legs, arms, chest and mouth. He gets them to check his blood sugar, blood pressure and his weight and even pisses in a pot and asks them if the colour is okay. In the end they load up him with bandages, as much medications as he can carry and a new bright red medic rucksack just to get rid of him.
Charlie then suggests Cookey should get his back checked which just reminds us that he also got wounded this morning. He refuses on the basis that it was those doctors that fucked with Lani and he’d rather have Roy look at him. Roy does the whole not a doctor thing but gets nagged by Paula and finally has a look. Cookey’s back is a mess and a lot worse than any of us realised with huge rakes from shoulder to arse that have shredded the skin apart. Big deep bites too and he gets a kiss from Paula and Marcy for being so gallant. Cookey, as with Charlie, refuses any pain relief medication and I understand why. It’s not bravado or a false sense of heroism but the fact is that although we all lo
ok bashed to shit, it doesn’t really hurt that much. We’re tender in spots but nothing like we should be. People who look like us should be laid up in beds eating grapes and watching crap telly but we’re mostly fine. We can’t even question it that much as we’ve been over the same subject a thousand times and end at the same place which is that we don’t know anything.
People come and go from the offices. Sam and Pea join us for a coffee with Lilly. An old fellow called Alf pops by, nods at everyone and wanders off again. Charlie explains her problem with the axe on horseback and says it’s the right weapon but the handling is difficult without a tether. Lilly explains they have new axes in the fort, at which point Marcy leads Charlie off to smile and make womanly eyes at the blokes building the structure. They come back ten minutes later with a new axe that has been drilled through the shaft with a made to measure leather wrist strap fitted.
Roy restrings his bow. Reginald sorts his papers out and everyone from the shore comes back, and as they do so the energy and atmosphere changes within the fort. Like they mark the end of the working day as the shore side people stop to speak and chat with the fort workers.
The fires in the cooking area grow bigger and brighter. The smells coming from them become richer and we start turning our heads to sniff the air and comment at the aromas. Dave’s mum, otherwise known as Joan, comes bustling in and immediately gets questioned by Dave as to how and why she has a rifle chest strap. She explains she made it herself last night and it takes five minutes with a standard strap and a needle and thread. She then gets inundated with requests so everyone can have a chest strap instead of having to sling the bloody things all the time.
As the last of the day fades and the shadows become deeper so a myriad of solar lanterns and string lights start flickering on. The inside of the walls strung with long lines of gaudy multi-coloured lights. The brackets Alf was fitting now hold lanterns that give gentle glows. More strings of light wrapped round the tent legs come on and the whole of the place is bathed in a weird carnival glow, like a town centre at Christmas. It ain’t perfect, not by a long stretch but fuck me, Lilly has done so much in just two days.
A short time later and when the sky is an inky black over our heads we get summoned to dinner. I take the front with Paula and Lilly which seems only fitting and we lead the others out into the fort now filled with figures all gathered waiting patiently.
‘No tables or chairs yet I’m afraid,’ Lilly says, ‘we are working on a rota system but that has yet to be done.’
‘Children eat first,’ Sam explains, ‘so we can make sure are actually eating proper food.’
‘And they sleep inside the rooms in the walls,’ Pea adds, pointing out the now softly illuminated rooms all with doors propped open. ‘Parents with children can stay in there with them but the priority for bed space are the young and the elderly. We’re fine at the moment but I don’t think it will take long to start filling up.’
‘Hold your bloody horses,’ Betty’s voice booms out, ‘Mr ‘Owie and his lot are eating first they are. Been out there keeping the buggers back from here so they’re having a decent meal they are.’
I groan inwardly and for a second I worry something like will only cause friction but these days are not the same as before. Everyone concedes the point and they part like the Red Sea to let us pass through.
‘Thanks,’ I say to the first people I pass.
‘Much appreciated,’ Clarence says behind me and so it goes down our line with every one of us paying respect for the privilege of eating first.
I stop at the end of the service table and get handed a plate by a man with deep blue eyes framed in a craggy face with salt and pepper hair.
‘Just a cook again.’
‘Just a cook,’ he says with a smile as he hands out a set of cutlery.
‘Lilly,’ I turn to nod at her to come over, ‘this is Kyle.’
‘It is very nice to meet you, Kyle,’ she says politely, leaning over the table to shake hands.
‘And you, Lilly,’ Kyle says.
‘Hey Lilly, you should get dissolved…what? Why’s everyone laughing? He did it this morning for us…’
‘Come and join us,’ I say to Kyle.
‘Ach, I’ll be working here, Mr Howie.’
‘Howie,’ I say quickly, ‘Mr Howie isn’t right coming from you.’
‘Howie,’ he says with a kind smile.
‘Seriously, grab a plate and eat with us.’
‘I will,’ he says and turns to Paula, ‘plate for you, Paula.’
‘Thanks, Kyle. Listen, it was really helpful today having you drive Roy’s van.’
‘It was nothing,’ he says as he passes a plate over to Lilly.
‘Well,’ Paula says, ‘if you ever fancy learning how to load magazines, strip a general purpose machine gun, put new blades on axes, saddle a horse and feed Roy arrows when he’s firing while making Reginald’s peppermint tea then we might have an opening.’
‘Ach, I’m too old to be running about the countryside. Blinky, are you taking the plate now or letting an old man wave it about?’
‘Huh? Oh sorry, Kyle.’
‘Mr Owie, hold your plate out me love, go on then have a big heap of that,’ Betty says spooning a heaped gooey mess on my plate that smells bloody lovely.
‘Bottle of water, Mr Howie?’ Another woman asks, holding a bottle over the serving table.
‘Wow, thank you,’ I say and step away with a plate seriously loaded with food. I wait for a second for Paula and head off away towards the lights of the tents.
‘Anywhere?’ Paula asks, turning back to wait for Lilly.
‘Wherever you like,’ Lilly says.
‘This’ll do,’ I say and lower myself down to rest my plate on the ground.
The rest come ambling over to drop down to rest plates on laps or sit cross legged with their plates on the ground in front. Clarence simply holds his one handed and tucks in with his fork attacking the heaped mountain of food on his plate.
‘This is bloody lovely,’ I tell Marcy as she lowers down next to me.
‘Good, eat up so you have lots of energy for later.’
‘What?’ I cough, almost choking on a mouthful of food.
‘If you’re not too exhausted that is,’ she says with that disarming smile, ‘Lilly, this is really nice,’ she says as I go bright red and look round to see if anyone heard her.
We sit without order and with gaps between us. Lilly and Nick side by side and I watch as Sam, Pea and Joan all head for her and watch the dynamics of relationships play out. The way people are drawn to others like how some have obviously got to know Pea over the last day or so and sit near her while others head for Sam or Joan. Very few go directly to Lilly. She is polite but she does retain a sort of distant coldness to anyone other than my lot or Pea, Sam and Joan. That’s a good thing too. She projects an authority and isn’t allowing over familiarity to weaken it down. I don’t have that problem with my lot but then our dynamics are completely different and I didn’t have to kill nineteen armed people to take control.
‘If you’ll excuse me,’ Lilly says after finishing her food. She rises to her feet just using the power of her legs in one smooth surge of strength that looks so effortless it makes me stop and stare with the fork hovering near my mouth. ‘I’m going to say goodnight to Billy,’ she adds in that polite tone.
‘Need a hand?’ Nick asks.
‘That would be lovely,’ Lilly says. Bathed in the firelight behind her and I watch closely with eyes fixed and unblinking. Nick wolfs the last of his food down and rises with the same surge of strength using just his legs to propel himself upright. I blink, close my eyes and look again as they walk away then pull my eyes back to see Clarence also turning to watch her go. When he looks back we share a glance loaded with meaning.
‘See that?’ Paula asks quietly.
‘I did,’ I reply casually and look back down at my plate.
‘Maybe it wasn’t that bad,’ Marcy says
.
‘Pea?’ Paula calls out gently, ‘borrow you for a minute?’
‘Yeah sure,’ Pea says scooting closer as Clarence discretely moves in.
‘We were just wondering,’ Paula says conversationally, ‘how bad was the assault that Lilly got?’
‘Bloody awful,’ Pea says quickly. Her face morphing with the emotion of the memory. ‘Kicking, punching…they hit her with the machine gun and…no it was bloody horrible.’
‘What’s that?’ Sam asks, leaning back to look at Pea
‘They were just asking about the beating Lilly got,’ Pea says.
‘Fucking bastards,’ Sam says darkly, ‘I don’t know how she’s walking around to be honest. I wouldn’t be after getting a shooing like that…that’s for sure.’
‘You seen her legs?’ I ask, which earns me a hard glance from Sam and a concerned look from Pea.
‘Are they bruised too?’ Paula asks quickly, ‘Howie thought she was limping earlier. Has she seen a doctor?’
‘Oh right,’ Sam says as the protectiveness eases back a notch, ‘no I haven’t seen them, you Pea?’
‘Nope,’ Pea says, ‘and no, I don’t think she has seen a doctor. You thought she was limping, Mr Howie?’
‘Maybe, probably just a dead leg or something,’ I say.
‘She got up alright just then,’ Sam says.
‘Yeah,’ I say with a smile, ‘yes she did…so must have been er…I’m probably worrying too much.’
‘No no,’ Pea says, ‘it’s nice that you worry about her.’
‘Did she get hit in the legs though?’ Marcy asks. A master of casual conversation and from her it’s just idle chit chat with no intent behind it and both Paula and I slide back a fraction to signal we want her to keep going.
‘That bitch Skyla was kicking her thighs,’ Sam says, ‘and her ribs. You know I’m bloody amazed she didn’t break any bones.’
Marcy pulls a face and tuts, ‘that’s awful, so was it just once or?’
‘No,’ Sam says with a scowl, ‘they kept going for her all day then they dragged her into the office and beat the shit out of her in there too.’