Dreams of a Virgin

by John Foltin

  DREAM VACATION

  Vacation. A time to relax. A time to have fun. A time to do what you wouldn’t normally do. Let’s see what Jeff’s ideal vacation would be. Or is it?

  It was my second night on vacation at the beach. I decided to stay in my first night, due to a long flight and unpacking. I laid out in the sun soaking up some rays today. I saw some of the sights. One stuck out in particular.

  Her name was Diana, a beautiful blond-haired, blue-eyed vision. I was lying on the beach, gazing at the sun. Suddenly, a shadow was cast over me. I looked over and saw her.

  “Excuse me, could you please rub some lotion on my back?”

  She didn’t have to ask me twice. She set her towel on the sand. She lay on her stomach and untied her top. I squirted the lotion down her back. She shook from the chill. In slow circles, I gently rubbed her back.

  We lay next to each other and got to know one another. She was a senior in college. We had a lot in common. This almost seemed too perfect, like written for a script.

  I wanted to see her again. I asked her to go dancing with me. She said yes. For the next few hours, I was thinking of what to do and where to go.

  She came back wearing a sky blue mini-dress, to match her eyes. We grabbed a bite to eat, then danced the night away. The way things were going, I knew before it was over, I was going to enjoy this vacation a lot more.

  We went for a nice moonlit walk by the ocean, hand in hand. I could tell she was feeling a little adventurous. She pulled me down in the sand and fell on top of me. We started kissing and touching and feeling all over.

  She unzipped my shorts. Telling me that she had no underwear on, we flipped over so I was on top. My tree trunk entered her shrub. After a while, the sap started flowing. After she had tapped me dry, I pulled out. We just lay there. Finally, we got chased out when high tide rolled in.

  The next day, I was like, “If I see her again, that’s okay. But I’m not going to stop looking for another.” Nothing against Diana, but I knew that I would never see her again after this week.

  I decided to get a Henna tattoo that day. I was too scared to get a real one. Besides, what if I didn’t like it on me? If it was a real one, I was stuck with it.

  That was when I met Janet. She was getting one too, a butterfly. Me, I was getting a barb wire wrapped around my right arm. We started talking while they were painting us. I could tell she was being flirtatious.

  I invited her back to my place to talk some more. We had a few beers. I found out that the more she drank, the sluttier she got.

  She started to strip for me. I matched her step for step, shirt for shirt. Having taken everything off, she got on all fours. I got doggy style too, hammering my nail in her poop chute. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Flesh banged against flesh.

  That was when Diana walked in. Immediately, I could tell she was upset.

  “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Diana, I can explain this.”

  “Jeff, who is this bitch?”

  “Bitch? Who you calling a bitch, bitch?”

  I pulled out. Actually, she pulled out lunging after Diana. They started pulling each other’s hair. Slaps flew everywhere. I sat back and watched this cat fight. Two women fighting over me. This was turning me on.

  “Wait a minute. Why are we fighting? Over this dick?”

  “You know, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

  Janet got dressed and both left. Oh well. I wanted to get rid of Diana anyway, and I would have done the same to Janet. This saved me the trouble.

  Later that week, I was dancing at a club, minding my own business. That was when this tall drink of water approached me.

  “Hey, big boy. Care to buy me a drink?”

  She had a deep, seductive voice. I accepted. We danced a little bit. I found out her name was Dawn. We stayed until closing time. She invited me to her room.

  When we got there, she dimmed the lights to set the mood. We held each other. She kissed my cheek. I reached under her dress. That was when I made a shocking discovery.

  I felt a twig and berries. I realized that it wasn’t D-A-W-N, but D-O-N. This she was a he.

  I woke up screaming and in a cold sweat.

  AUCTION

  Sometimes it takes a single event to see just how much we are worth. Or how far we will go to achieve that one special moment.

  Tonight, our alumni group was sponsoring a charity auction. One of the features was auctioning off dates. They had single men and women volunteer to be auctioned off for one night.

  Since I was single and couldn’t find any other way to get a date, I volunteered. We had about twenty men and twenty women on the block

  In an unchivalrous move, the men went first. I was about a third of the way in. As soon as I went out there, I could tell this was a bad idea. The looks they gave me told me the bidding would be low.

  “Alright, let’s start the bidding at twenty dollars.” He started all bids at twenty dollars. No takers.

  “Okay. How about ten?” Nothing.

  “Five?” Not the faintest of interest.

  “C’mon. This is for charity. Okay. One dollar.” Still nothing.

  The emcee looked at me. “Sorry, pal. You’re off the block.”

  I knew I wasn’t attractive, but not even a dollar? At the same time, I felt hurt and vengeful. Every other man that went up there was bought, some as high as three figures.

  After a brief intermission, it was the ladies turn. I had my eye on one before the festivities started. After the response I got, I felt the need to make a few others pay, too.

  My first victim was Cassidy. When I first came out, I saw her roll her eyes at me in total disgust. She wasn’t overly attractive, but still able to draw a bid. I waited until it seemed the bidding would end at thirty-five. That’s when I pounced.

  “Forty dollars.” She looked my way. When she saw who placed the bid, again I saw that look of disgust, then fear when no one else would bid. That’s when a smirk came across my face. “Going once... Going twice... Sold.”

  Date with a total bitch, forty dollars. The look when she saw who she had to go out with, priceless.

  After about eight women, I spotted my second victim, Nicole. When I was in college, I had asked her out. She simply laughed and walked away. Nowhere to run now.

  Again, I waited for just the right moment to strike. Just when the bidding would end at thirty, “Thirty-one!” This time, the bidding continued. I could see the relief on her face when she heard a continuing bid. That look vanished when I kept bidding. She was egging the crowd on, wanting the bidding to continue, knowing the outcome if they didn’t. Then, a look of sadness when I won the bidding, again at forty dollars.

  The final woman of the evening, Robin, was the one I had wanted in the first place. I had the biggest crush on her in school, but was too afraid to ask her out. Fear was gone here.

  In fact, I began the bidding at twenty-five. I could see this would not be as easy to win. The bidding grew quickly. Soon, it was up to seventy-five, and growing. I knew I had to make my move now.

  “One hundred dollars.” Suddenly, the bidding stopped. After a minute, I had won my third date of the evening.

  Now, what kind of dates would I go on? The dates were pre-planned prior to the bidding. First up was Cassidy. As snobbish as she was, I knew I had to ruin the date however I could.

  We ate at a fancy restaurant. When the first course was brought, I slurped the soup and talked only about myself, not asking anything about her. At the main course, I had lobster. I made a lot of noise with the hammer cracking it open. By dessert, she was so disgusted that she stormed out of the room. At least the bill was on her. I left shortly thereafter, with an evil smile on my face.

  My second date with Nicole was a few days later. I really had no interest of going out with her. I just bid on her to piss her off. So, I decided to stand her up. Payback’s a bitch, and so was Nicole.

  The following Saturday was the date I was looking for
ward to, Robin. I remembered her from marching band. I was a trumpet player. She was a majorette. There were so many times in practice that I wanted to ask her out, but she was clearly out of my league.

  This was my time to shine, to make her see what I was about. I wasn’t going to blow this.

  The date was a night at the opera. I had never been to the opera. I rented a tuxedo, thinking that was required uniform. Once I got there, I could see I was overdressed.

  When I saw Robin, I could see she had never been there before either because she, too, was overdressed.

  I will admit, I wasn’t into the opera. In fact, I was downright bored, but I didn’t let Robin see it.

  After the movie, we drove back to her place. We shared memories from marching band, routines we performed, the parties after the wins. Well, she did. I wasn’t much of a partier back in school.

  The more we talked, the more we found we had in common. Classes we took, teachers we had.

  In an instant, we kissed. Things grew from there. One thing, in particular. My middle leg. Next thing I knew, she was pulling down my pants.

  Now I knew she was good at handling a baton, as she proved by handling mine. What I didn’t know was she was also good at playing the skin flute. She started into one whale of a solo. They say music calms the savage beast. This tune she was playing did just the opposite. I had never felt that excited before.

  After a night like that, I’d say I got a bargain at only a hundred dollars for this date. I was hoping that we would be making beautiful music for many nights to come.

  ALL IS NOT LOST

  Even in the darkest of times, when all seems lost, you can always see the light at the end of the tunnel.

  On a cold January afternoon, I was shopping for groceries. I had a cart half full when I was approached by a beautiful woman. Just by looking at her, I could tell she had fallen on hard times.

  “Excuse me, sir, but do you have a couple dollars to spare so I can get a hot meal?”

  I took in the whole picture. Disheveled hair. Wrinkled outfit. I could see that she really needed the help.

  “Sure, but I need to break a ten. Could you wait until I check out?”

  After walking around, guilt got the best of me. Especially when she started telling me about what had happened to her.

  “Do you want to help me put these back?” I gave her the ten.

  “My name is Faith. Would you like to join me for lunch?”

  “Sure, Faith. I’m Jeff. Just give me a few minutes to put these back.”

  We returned the groceries and went to McDonald’s. Judging by the size of her order, I could tell it had been a long time since she had a decent meal.

  While we were eating, she told me everything that had happened in the last few months. She had been laid off from her job. Her car had been repossessed. Her boyfriend had kicked her out. She was forced to live in a storage unit with her stuff, and she couldn’t afford her next month’s payment.

  Feeling bad about her, I offered to let her come back to my place to clean up. I offered to let her spend the night, seeing as it was mid-January and the temperature was approaching zero.

  “I’ve put you through enough already. I don’t want to be any trouble.”

  “Please. No trouble at all. I could use the company.”

  After eating, we went back to my place. It was only a one-bedroom apartment, but there was enough room for her.

  She went into the bathroom, disrobed, and turned on the shower. While she showered, I set up the couch so she could sleep there tonight.

  After about five minutes, Faith came out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel.

  “Why are you doing all this for me? You don’t even know me.”

  “Well, I know what it is like to have everything taken from you. Because just a few years ago, I was in a similar situation. And I had a good friend there to help me through the tough times. I swore to him that I ever saw someone in that condition that I would pay it forward and help them out.”

  “Well, I don’t have cash to repay you for all your kindness. But I can repay you in a different way.” She dropped the towel. “Ever since I was a little girl, I always liked playing doctor.”

  “Well, Faith, it looks like Dr. Jeff will be making a house call. You look like a healthy specimen to me, but I need to make sure. First of all, I need to check to see if you have any lumps.” I started feeling her breasts, rubbing them, twirling my finger around her nipples.

  “No lumps. Okay, now. Open your mouth and say Ahh.” As she did, I kissed her. Tongues met.

  “Okay, now I need to take your temperature. I need you to bend over.” She seemed a bit surprised at this. Little did she know that I worked with an anal thermometer. For the next few minutes, I was repeatedly inserting my thermometer, and each time, it got warmer. Finally, it got so hot that the mercury shot through the top.

  “Well, my diagnosis is that you are in perfect shape. But I do recommend that you not leave here until the time is just right. Doctor’s orders.”

  “Yes, doctor. Do I get a lollipop?”

  “No, but I have something else sweet for you.” I started kissing her again.

  Over the next few weeks, I came to see that playing doctor wasn’t the only fantasy she had. There was also the Catholic schoolgirl and, my favorite, the sexy cop. Here, I got to play the bad guy and she got to frisk me. I got to turn the tables on her and used her own Billy club on her. Well, in her.

  Three months later, her life was back on track. She had a new job. She no longer had the storage unit; she had moved the essentials in with me. And she had a new boyfriend: me.

  Guess sometimes in life, you just need a little Faith.

  CRIME DOES PAY

  Maybe Jeff has read one too many comic books. Think he may have taken super villain to a whole new level.

  It started off as a typical day in Normaltown. The sun came up in the east. Birds chirping. Children playing.

  Until the alarm went off at the Normaltown National Bank. The Sinister Sorcerer and his henchmen were robbing it. The Sorcerer pointed his wand at the vault door. It started glowing. Yanking his wand back, the door to the vault flew off the hinges. The henchmen went inside to fill their sacks.

  As the Sorcerer and his gang left the bank, several police cruisers pulled up. With a wave of his wand, the cruisers began to float. He held them airborne.

  From out of nowhere came UltraWoman. Yes, UltraWoman. A mild mannered college student who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. While taking a Chemistry class, she mixed some chemicals by accident. When heated, they exploded. Caught in the blast, she was thrown back and knocked unconscious. When she came to, she realized that she had ultra-quick reflexes and enhanced strength. She designed a utility belt to aid her never-ending effort to stop crime.

  “Sinister Sorcerer, drop those officers this instant.” He lowered the cars.

  “UltraWoman. We were expecting you. Henchmen, attack.”

  The six henchmen surrounded UltraWoman. One by one, they attacked her. One by one, she fought them off. Bodies began to pile up.

  The Sorcerer pointed his wand at a manhole cover. He raised it in the air. As she finished off the last henchmen, he pointed his wand at her, hurling the manhole cover at her. It hit her in the back of the head, knocking her out.

  The henchmen slowly recovered and tied up UltraWoman. They grabbed the sacks of money and UltraWoman and loaded them into their van. They kept an eye on her as they drove back to their lair at an old abandoned warehouse.

  When they got there, they took UltraWoman, still knocked out, and rested her against a steel wall. The Sorcerer cast a spell, “Titanum Restrainum”. Pointing his wand at her, her arms and legs were bound to the wall with titanium restraints, arms at her sides, legs spread. Suddenly, she came to.

  “Welcome back, UltraWoman.”

  “Where am I? Sorcerer, you fiend.”

  “If you think I was bad before, you ain’t seen no
thing yet.”

  Approaching her, he grabbed her costume. Touching his wand to it and chanting, “Fabricum Removum”, the costume disappeared, leaving UltraWoman in her birthday suit, wearing only her mask. She struggled to break free, but was unable.

  “Now, watch as a part of my body starts to grow. And I don’t even need magic.”

  Dropping his pants, he exposed his other wand. Forcefully, he took his wand and penetrated her fortress of solitude. Repeatedly, he jammed her with the wand until the magic flew from it. He was also groping and fondling her ample breasts and firm rear. When he was finished, she was exhausted and in tears. He, too, was exhausted, but laughing.

  “I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, UltraWoman.”

  Later that evening, Simon, one of the henchmen, crept up to a sleeping UltraWoman, who was still naked. He ran his finger across her lips. She didn’t budge. He fondled her breasts. Again, no movement.

  He figured, “What the hell.” He took off his pants and penetrated her fortress of solitude. This woke her up. He placed his hand over her mouth so she couldn’t scream out. Viciously, he thrust himself into her over and over again. When he had finished, she was in tears.

  The same thing continued all night long. Whenever she would fall asleep, another of the henchmen would have his way with her. Eventually, she passed out from the repeated abuse. The door to her fortress of solitude had been left wide open.

  The next day, the Sorcerer came back and revealed his diabolical plan to her.

  “Good morning, UltraWoman. Hope you slept well. I know I did. But that’s only the beginning. See, I’m not going to keep you for myself. As beautiful as you are, you should be shared with the rest of the world. Which is why at the big convention tonight, in front of the entire world, we will appear together, just as we are. Not only will the whole world see your incredible body, but I will reveal your secret identity. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me. Wah hahahahaha!”