“You would never leave that job.” He huffs.
“I would never leave it for something that doesn’t mean anything to me, but I would leave it for you and Lillah and for … whoever else may come along.” Pulling my hands away from his face, I hope he finally listens to me.
“I want to believe you Ava, but I am afraid to. Rebecca says Jasper has been coming over here while I’m gone. That you two spend hours inside, that she saw him kiss you …”
“That is not true Sean.”
“I found a tie clip under the sofa. It had Jasper’s name engraved on it.” He says looking me over.
I sigh in disbelief. “It is not true. Rebecca probably put it there. I told you she was at his place.” Frustrated, I grip him tighter, “Jasper has never been here. You can ask him yourself. I will call him and you can talk to him.”
“I don’t need to talk to him. Forget the tie clip, you’re telling me that he bought your company and forced you to stay on long enough so he could work with you, but he didn’t want anything more?”
Hesitating, I know it is better to tell him despite the reaction I expect to get. “You’re right, he did it all in hopes of somehow getting me back. And yes, he did corner me one night after everyone left.” Sean’s eyes widen. “I stopped him. I punched him in the eye, actually, and I made sure he understood it is never going to happen. I wouldn’t say he completely respects that decision, but he doesn’t try anything anymore.” His hands are fisting as he steams even more. “I don’t know what else to do to convince you. I don’t know why you would believe Rebecca anyway. She is nothing more than a lying whore and will do anything to get what she wants.”
“I don’t know who to believe, Ava.” Before I can argue with him any further, he growls frustratingly. “I am so tired! I only want to get this film done and then, maybe, we can talk.” He says. I shake my head, defeated, and go to bed. There is no use fighting with him when he is this tired.
I lay in bed for several hours before I hear the door open. Sean lies in bed next to me, and after a soft sigh I feel his hand brush the hair out of my face. Running the back of his fingers across my cheek, he expects me to be asleep but I open my eyes and look into his for the first time in days. I don’t give him a chance to say anything. I push myself deep into his chest and hold onto him desperately. He doesn’t hold me as tight as he has, but he doesn’t push me away either.
~
The next few days are impossible and miserable. I feel like my whole body is rejecting me. I can’t sleep, eat or even manage a clear thought anymore. It’s difficult, but I manage to get Lillah dressed and take her outside along with the boys to play, hoping the sunshine will help me feel better.
“How sweet.” Rebecca said, walking over to us. I sigh instantly. “Oh, don’t get all worked up, Ava. I am only teasing you.” I grab my drink so I can move us further away from her, but she follows. “What are you drinking? I thought you always drink that nasty tea stuff?”
“I made more, but it’s not cold yet so I am drinking water. Is that okay with you?” I asked her as she shrugs.
“Whatever. Are we eating soon?” she asked.
“You can eat whenever you want. There is a kitchen in the guesthouse.” I said, exasperated.
“Oh Ava, don’t be ridiculous. At least tell me where I can get something to drink, and I don’t want water.”
“Oh yes, I would hate for you to go without alcohol much longer. It is after six.” I smiled at her, earning a mocking one back.
“Go to hell, Ava.”
“You first.” I said as she walks into the house. Since Joel has been staying with Sean at the hotel every night, it leaves me to deal with his wife alone. The only good part about that is she is not able to be around Sean either.
By the time I put Lillah to bed I feel exhausted and want nothing more than to go to bed myself. Sean is supposed to call within the hour so I try to keep myself busy so I can stay awake long enough to talk to him. I let the boys outside and clean up the patio some before concentrating on Lillah’s toys in the living room.
“Ava.” A voice steams in my direction. I snap my head around and lose my breath instantly. “I missed you.” Shaking my head, I fall to the floor and scoot away from the approaching figure. “I told you I would never let you go. You are mine, and I will take you back.”
Screaming, I run to let the boys inside but they seem more alarmed by me than anything else. Pausing, I search the room and find nothing, no one. My heart is still racing as I check on Lillah and call security to check things over for me. They find nothing and I begin to believe that my exhaustion is causing my nightmares to surface. After all, Spencer is dead. How could he be talking to me in my living room?
~
I had trouble sleeping last night, even after I moved to the bed in Lillah’s room. With the doors locked and the boys at my side, I kept watch on security lights, which stayed solid throughout the night. I decided to make an excuse to work from home today. I am able to get some sleep when Edelmira, the nanny, comes in to watch Lillah for me. My dreams are erratic until his voice slithers into my dreams. “I always liked watching you sleep, Ava.” Slowly, I open my eyes, but before I can scream he covers my mouth and holds me down. “Don’t scream or I will kill everyone in this house, including your precious little girl. Do you understand me?” I nod, slowly. “Good, now take your clothes off and turn over.” I begin to panic and shake my head hysterically when he presses down harder on me. “Don’t fight me!” Spencer yells at me.
“Mrs. Grant? Are you awake?” Edelmira calls out as she knocks on the door. I stare at Spencer wide-eyed.
“Get up and get rid of her.” He says.
He lets me up and I walk slowly towards the door. As soon as I reach the knob I turn it quickly, grab Edelmira by the arm and rush to Lillah causing the boys to become alarmed and bark madly. I sound an alarm and close us all in Lillah’s room to wait for help. I don’t know where Spencer went or how he got away, but security swears that they can find no one. Edelmira tells me to get some sleep, but that is the last thing I can do. Sean arrives quickly and rushes in, checking me over in panic.
“What happened?” He asks. I begin to cry in relief to see him. “Calm down. You’re okay now. Tell me what happened, Ava.”
“I don’t know exactly. The other night, I was cleaning and I saw Spencer. Then, when I was asleep, he woke me up and held me down and told me he was going to kill Lillah if I didn’t do what he asked.” I ramble before I think about what I am saying. Sean backs off me with a questioning expression on his face.
“Ava, that is impossible. And security says that they found no one here. Are you sure you didn’t just have a bad dream?” Sean caresses my face as if I am breakable. “You look exhausted, baby.”
“Sean I … I have no idea what I saw … if I saw.” It was real, wasn’t it?
Chapter 11
Sean
Ava looks half-crazed. Her eyes are dark and her hands are shaking. I feared those nightmares would come back. I had hoped she would find a way to deal with them, or at least recognize them as nightmares and nothing more. Security assures me they checked everything several times, and even the boys acted as if nothing was amiss. I feel bad for leaving her alone, even when I knew the nightmares were affecting her lately. I need to be home with her, but until I can, I have Randy move in to help her feel better.
It is only a day later, and in the middle of the night, when Randy calls. He would never call unless there is something horribly wrong. “Sean, I think you need to come home. Ava is hysterical. She swears she saw him again.” Sighing deep into my hands, I hear him do the same. “Sean, she is injured too.”
“What? What do you mean she is injured?”
“She has cuts and bruises on her arms and legs. There is no one here, Sean. There is no one anywhere on the grounds. I checked myself.” Randy said.
“What are you telling me? She is hurting herself?” I ask and he sighs again. I get up and be
gin to pack, but before I leave, Joel walks in.
“Where are you going?” He asked with a surprised expression.
“It’s Ava. She is having those nightmares again and she is hurting herself now. I need to be with her as much as I can.”
“Sean, you can’t be serious. We need you on set. We need you to be fresh. I know you are worried about your wife and it is understandable, but what are you going to do that Randy and security aren’t? Besides, don’t you think this is all a little convenient?” He cocks his head at me as I stare at him in confusion. “Come on Sean, she happens to have these nightmares right before you go out of town? Seems convenient now that you two have been fighting and you move to a hotel for a few days. She seems to be fine when you are with her.”
“Ava isn’t like that.”
“I am sure she isn’t meaning to consciously, but sometimes a woman just wants attention. Then, when she doesn’t get it, she over dramatizes things to get you to notice her. She probably doesn’t even realize she is doing it.” I shake my head, even though it makes some since. “Listen, it is too late for you to be going home now. You will have to turn around and come right back. Call her and talk to her, then get some sleep. Get through tomorrow, and then go home to her. If she knows you are coming home, she will calm down.”
“Maybe, but I have to go home and check on her myself.”
“You should get more sleep, Sean. I think the lack of sleep is affecting your judgment.” Joel pats me on the back before walking towards his room.
“Are you just getting in from the set?” I asked him.
“Oh, yeah, I got so involved in watching the dailies I forgot the time.” He says shrugging.
“You work too much, talk about someone who needs more sleep. The movie is going to be great, you shouldn’t worry so much.” He laughs and I leave to go to my wife.
Chapter 12
Ava
Sean came home and slept beside me, and Randy was kind enough to stay and sleep in Lillah’s room. It was a bad night and everyone is now walking on eggshells around me, as if I am about to go crazy at any moment. In a way, I feel as if I am going crazy. Even after talking to my therapist, I believe that I am dreaming it all. After getting enough sleep last night and even some this afternoon while Edelmira was here, I feel better and want to do my best to look lively before Sean gets home. When Joel comes home, I call out to him before he goes into the guesthouse.
“Hi Beautiful, are you feeling better?” He says, seeming to be on the same eggshells as everyone else.
“Yes, thank you. Is Sean going to be here soon?”
“Should be, I believe he was right behind me.” He says nodding and obviously wanting to get away from me before I go crazy again. “You know, you should get some exercise. Go for a run or something. It might even convince Sean that you’re not so scared of the dark after all.” I smile and he leans in, “You’re not, are you? I mean, if you are, then you might want to consider going to a hospital for help. I only say that out of concern for you. There is nothing wrong with it.”
“I’m fine. I don’t need to go into any hospital. But thank you for your concern.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you, but Sean is really worried about you and it is affecting him badly. I love him like he brother and I would do anything for him, so anything you can do to prove it to him that you are okay, I would be grateful.” I nod and he smiles, hugging me lightly, but Rondo suddenly approaches with a light growl, causing Joel to back off.
“Rondo! What is wrong with you? I’m sorry, I am not sure why he is acting like that.” I said, holding Rondo back by the collar.
“It’s okay, but where is the other one? I don’t want him to sneak up behind me.” Joel laughs nervously.
“He is inside sleeping, so you should make it the guesthouse safely. I’m sorry, I don’t know why he is acting this way. He must have woken up on the wrong side of his dog-bed.” I laugh, hoping to ease his tension.
“He must have.” He laughs with me. Joel steps further away from Rondo who is watching him intently. “Well better go check on Rebecca before I have to go back to the set. You should consider that run, it would really prove you are not afraid of the dark, you know?”
I didn’t like my conversation with Joel, but the idea of a run isn’t a bad one. When Sean arrives home, I spend some time with him before asking if he minds watching Lillah while I go for a run. He seems shocked by my request, but excited by the idea, which makes me feel better about easing his stress some.
The cool night air is nice and the run feels great, but I can’t help but watch every movement around me. I still feel as if someone is watching me. I keep telling myself I am okay and it is my imagination, but the overwhelming feeling increases more and more until I decide I have to turn around and go back home. The fear becomes too much and I am in tears when Joel pulls up beside me.
“So you decided to take my advice after all.” I force a smile when he notices my tears. “Are you crying? It is okay you made it halfway at least, baby steps sweetheart. Get in, I will take you home.” The idea of running home alone is not something I am willing to attempt so I eagerly jump into Joel’s car. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have to go pick up some wine for Rebecca. She can’t sleep without her favorite wine. I mean, after all, it is after ten o’clock and she isn’t falling down drunk yet.” He laughs.
“It is after ten already?”
“Yeah, how long have you been running?”
I can’t believe it is that late already, Sean must be worried. I am having so much trouble focusing lately, and now I am completely losing track of time. Maybe I should be worried. “I didn’t bring my watch but I didn’t think it had been that long.”
“Well I didn’t bring mine either but the clock in this rental clearly says ten-fifteen,” he says, tapping the clock. I nod but stop listening to him so I can focus on calming down before I see Sean. Being out this late is going to have him worried enough. While Joel is in the store I close my eyes and breathe. My heart begins to steady and I am almost asleep when he returns to the car and drives off.
“Did you get her wine?” I ask but he doesn’t answer. Opening my eyes, I see Spencer turns to me, and smile. “No! You are not real!” I scream.
“Shut up!” He knocks my head into the window and the world begins to blur and goes dark. By the time I wake, I have nothing more than my underwear and shirt on. My body is thrown into the backseat and he jumps in on top of me. I instantly begin to fight him, knocking him in the face and feel something strange. As the moonlight hits his face, I see a mask pushed off to one side. “Good job, Ava. You just ruined a perfectly good disguise. My Dad’s art department spent days on this for me.”
Shaking my head, “Joel? Why are you doing this?”
“You mean why am I going to fuck my best friend’s wife? Because I have to know what it is like to fuck you. Since he is not willing to share, I will just take it. Joel leans down and whispers in my ear. “The best part of this is, everyone thinks you are a liar. A crazy woman who is seeing a dead man wherever she goes. So, I can do whatever I want to you, whenever I want, and no one will ever believe you.” Holding my hands tightly he kisses me hard. “Fight me if you want to Ava, it only excites me more. Besides, the drug I gave you while you were passed out should be taking effect here soon and then you will be an easy lay for me.” He pushes his erection in between my legs and laughs as I cringe at the feel of him. Ripping my shirt off, he grabs my breast and tries to remove it from my bra as he kisses my neck. I fight him and struggle, kicking and screaming until I reach out and find a pen on the floorboard. Holding tight to it, I ram it into Joel’s arm and send him racing backwards out of the car. “Son of a bitch!” He screams, looking at his bleeding arm. Dropping the pen, I jump out and kick him before running away.
Running fast and hard, my mind begins to spin and the world becomes hazy. I fall to the ground, trembling, as the trees surround me and the darkness makes it nearly impossible to
understand where I am. Stumbling to my feet, I search for the road, struggling to focus. I concentrate on my feet and the sounds around me. I feel as if I have wandered for hours and hours. My feet are swollen and bleeding, my head is ready to roll off my shoulders, but I continue to fight to make it to the main road to search for help. When I finally hear a car, I open my eyes to the bright lights and scream as they rush towards me. The screeching tires come to an abrupt halt as the ground rushes towards me. I do not know if I should cry for help or run, but I cannot open my eyes to judge clearly as the footsteps rapidly approach.
“Oh God, Ava!” My head is lifted and my eyes open to the blurry stranger. “Ava? Ava, are you okay? Sweetheart, please be okay.” I jump, screaming and trying to fight. “Ava it’s me! It’s Sean!” Sean? “Baby, are you okay?” When I feel his warm lips touch my face, I relax in his arms.
“I want to go home.” I mumble, burying my face into his shoulder as Sean wraps his jacket around me, picks me up and carries me to his car.
Our house is full of people when Sean carries me in, all of which instantly surround us. I try to hide myself from them as Sean grips me away from their line of sight. “Everybody, she’s fine. You can all go home now.”
“Sean, we should take her to the hospital,” I heard Ethan say.
“No, she’s fine. I’m going to take care of her and get her to bed. Just go, please,” Sean said, standing in place and holding me so tight I wonder if someone is trying to take me from him.
Reckless (Finding Ava) Page 11