“But I love you!”
“You don’t love me enough to follow me and believe in me. I don’t want a woman who has no trust in me.”
Dera couldn’t deny he spoke the truth. With all her heart, she loved him, but her conscience wouldn���t allow her to blindly follow this man when she believed he was wrong. She stared at him and tried to remember every detail of his ruggedly handsome face. “It will never be over for us, Quint. We’ll never stop loving one another.”
“Leave me be, Dera,” he said treating her as a stranger suddenly.
She turned away from him and left him without any further words of love spoken between them.
Back at the manor the tears she had expected to shed didn’t come. She loved him and needed him, yet seeing with her own eyes the rampant destruction had upset her in a way she couldn’t comprehend. This time there was no Peg McConnell to blame. Destiny and vengeance had woven insidious fingers around their happiness and wrenched them apart. Again….
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Even before Dera���s feet touched the floor, she was aware of the sick feeling in her stomach. She barely made it to the wash basin and heaved until her stomach settled into place. With shaking hands, she reached for a cloth to wipe her mouth. This was the third time in a week that she had been ill. At first, she had blamed the slight queasiness on the lamb the night before, but being sick twice more confirmed her suspicion.
Anna tapped on her door and when Dera let her in, the woman immediately saw that she wasn’t well. “You’ve been sick again this morning,” she said.
Dera couldn’t keep anything from Anna’s sharp eyes. “Don’t say anything, please.���
“If you’re with child, I think you should tell Mr. Quint. He should know.”
Dera vehemently shook her head. “No, it would make no difference. First, I have to think of a way to explain this to Avery, though I suppose the truth will have to do. I suspect I’ll be home with my uncle before long.”
Anna helped her pull the white nightdress over her head and eased her into a green and yellow print gown which rivaled the colors of spring outside Dera’s window. “You’re small enough where you don’t show yet, but soon I’ll have to let some seams out. Just make certain you tell his lordship of the situation beforehand.”
After Dera dressed, she applied rouge to her cheeks to minimize her paleness and headed downstairs. When she reached the bottom step, she was astonished to see Jem McConnell, leaving Avery’s library.
“My lady,” he said sarcastically. He was as crude looking as always and seemingly pleased with himself; he made a great display of bowing.
“Does Lord Fairfax know you’ve been sneaking about his house?��� She gritted her teeth at his lecherous grin.
“His lordship had matters to speak with me about.”
���We’ll see. I can’t imagine Avery requesting your presence.” She moved to open the library doors, but Jem gripped her upper arm.
“I warn you, Dera. Stay out of Lord Fairfax’s affairs. He did send for me.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“T’will be a sorry day if you ask him. He does run a huge estate and I am valuable to him. There are some things he needs my advice on now that Timothy can’t concentrate on his duties.”
“What of my uncle?” she asked in alarm.
“His wife is a problem, just as all wives are problems to their husbands. She be a loony, out of her head. If you ask me, he should beat her within an inch of her life.”
“Nobody asked you, you brutish idiot.” She tugged until he dropped her arm. He sneered at her; his breath on her face.
“One day, my fine uppity lady, you’re going to beg me to touch you and t’will be my pleasure.” He laughed at her reproachful look but left her standing outside the library.
She detested Jem McConnell, but she decided not to press the issue with her husband. Ever since the arrival of the Websters a month earlier, Avery had become more irascible and moody, more like the Avery Fairfax she remembered from her childhood. As far as she knew, he wasn’t drinking but on his best behavior because of his guests. He left her to her own amusements, and she found solace in Dominick Saucier, who provided her with endless hours of conversation. She liked Dominick and was appreciative of his attentions and looked forward to the picnic she had planned for them by the lake that afternoon.
The ride to the lake was delightful. Dera and Dominick talked casually, sitting side by side, in the small cart as she pointed out various landmarks to him. He reined in the horse and Dominick politely helped her down. She bubbled with excitement at the beauty of the spot: misty purple hills on the horizon reflected in the clear water, as did the azure sky. “I love the spring,” she told him. “This is heaven on earth.”
She knelt beside the water’s edge and stroked her fingers through the cool, clear pool. She smiled at her reflection, the tips of her long curls falling forward and touching the liquid surface. Then Dominick’s face, smiling but with a hint of sadness, was mirrored above her own. ���Tu es belle,” he whispered softly.
Dera knew a little French and realized he was paying her a compliment, but his voice, so lulling and seductive, wiped her smile away. “Merci,” she said simply.
She stood up and faced him, not knowing what to expect. Dominick reached out and brushed a wisp of hair from her eyes. He caressed her cheeks with his fingers. His touch burned her skin and she wished he would leave her alone. She was vulnerable and afraid of his tenderness, especially of the way her heart hammered against her rib cage.
���I want to kiss you, Dera.���
���No, you mustn���t,��� she said but even as she denied him, she swayed toward him. His lips found hers. His kiss was passionate but tempered with respect. She found herself returning his ardor and enjoying the feel of his hands upon her waist.
He smiled sadly. ���I have wished for this moment. I long to make love to you, but my conscience won���t allow it. You are married to my cousin���s friend. Dishonoring you in that fashion would be unacceptable. I hope you can forgive me.���
���It was as much my fault as yours. I, too, am sorry.���
He reluctantly released her. ���Bien, then all is well again?���
���Yes, all is well. Now, let���s have our picnic.���
She was like a child, all animation and enthusiasm as they lunched on the grass. Dominick listened to her chatter and devoured her with hungry eyes.
Avery observed his wife and Dominick, returning from their outing. Anger consumed him, and he would have happily dragged her from the cart and choked her with his bare hands. He watched until they entered the front door. Her delighted laughter grated upon his nerves. He longed to pour himself a drink, but he knew he must remain sober. “The deceitful little tart,” he hissed out loud. He sat behind his desk and tried to control himself before he summoned her.
He now rued the day he had acted like an aging knight by saving Dera’s womanhood from Jem McConnell. He regretted not letting the filthy toad ravish her. Probably she would have enjoyed it, he thought to himself, since women of easy virtue always loved a good tumble whether the man’s looks pleased them or not. Worst of all, he had made a fool of himself by marrying her and becoming a slave to her beauty.
He had to admit that he did owe Jem a debt which he had repaid with his word. Because of the man’s ready tongue, Avery now possessed the information he needed to arrest the rebels. In exchange for his freedom, Jem had even divulged the location of the rebels’ secret meeting place. Why the man had volunteered the information, he didn’t know nor care. But there was one further bit of information he wished to learn, and only Dera could tell him. He couldn’t abide living with his nagging doubts about her any longer -but he had already decided that whether she lied or told the truth, the end result would be the same. Lady Fairfax would be a lady no longer and her uncle, who was lately slack in his duties, would no lon
ger be his overseer. Things were finally coming full circle for Avery. He laughed bitterly.
Dera received Avery’s summons and hurried to the library. “You wished to speak with me?”
He nodded curtly and gestured toward a chair. She sat down under his hostile stare. She found him to be outwardly composed, but sensed his agitation by the way he paced the floor. “You’ll wear a hole in the carpet,” she joked. He continued to glare at her so she made no more comments.
“Dera, I’ve never been one to waste words, so I shall come straight to the point. Have you kept your promise to me?”
“Do you suspect me of unfaithfulness?”
“Don’t turn the tables on me, girl. You’ve become adept in your futile attempts to sidestep my questions. Answer me.”
“Please, I don���t wish to hurt you,” she said.
He sputtered, his rage growing. “You have already destroyed my faith in you by the way you throw yourself at men. I’ve seen how you lead Saucier around by the nose and how you bait McConnell with your body. And you have the nerve to say you don’t wish me hurt. Thank God I’ve still got the good sense not to allow you to get away with this any longer. What a blasted fool I am to have been taken in by a chit of a girl, and even worse, I’ve not been able to sample your wares.” He huffed and took a deep breath to calm himself. “You’ve become a poison to me.���
“Like Elvina.”
“Yes, exactly like her.”
Dera rose from her chair. “I’ll pack a few belongings and leave.”
“Oh, no. You’re not running off so easily. First, answer my question.” He grabbed her wrists and pulled her against him. “Tell me! Admit to me your lover is Saucier. I want to hear your confession from your own lips.”
“Dominick? I’ve never been unfaithful with him.”
“Don’t lie to me!” he thundered, nearly deafening her. He pushed her onto the floor and bolted the door before he reached for his cane.
“Tell me the truth!” He was a man gone berserk with rage, and this time he wasn’t intoxicated. He struck her shoulder with such force that Dera cried out. She rolled away as he brought the cane down a second time, missing her head by an inch.
“It isn’t Dominick!” she cried. “Stop, please!” she begged him through tears of pain. All Dera could think about was her unborn child. She realized how much she wanted this baby and if she lost it because of a beating, there would be nothing to live for.
Through the haze of pain, she heard Avery’s voice. “Who is he, Dera?”
���I won���t tell you!���
���Really?��� He reared backwards, but then came toward her with his cane upraised. ���I���ll bend you to my will if I have to kill you!���
She knew he meant it, knew he would kill her and her child in the process, and there were no servants who would enter the locked room to intervene on her behalf this time. She crawled away and attempted to stand, but he was atop her, pinning her to the floor. The cane raised once more. ���Who? Tell me! I want the bastard���s name!���
���I won���t!���
���By God you will!���
With his weight on her, his hand flew to her neck. She knew he was going to strangle her. His hand tightened around her throat and she could barely catch a breath. She dreaded being forced into revealing Quint as her lover, but she had to protect the child. “Quint��� Flannery,” she whimpered.
Avery looked at her with a puzzled frown, then his features relaxed. He dropped the cane to his side and slowly stood. He tapped a thin finger against his lips. ���Of course, it���s Flannery. How stupid of me not to have guessed. I would have thought you had better taste in men, Dera. But you’re very clever.”
Dera sat up, her breathing returned to normal, and she looked at him with fear-filled eyes. “I never meant to be clever or to deceive you. Quint and I have loved each other for years. I still love him. What are you going to do?” she asked him as worry grew in her for Quint.
“What are you going to do?” he mimicked her, his eyes like green slivers. “I suppose it’s convenient for me to apprise you of my plans now. Since Flannery is your lover, I shall be getting rid of him for humiliating me … but more importantly for his treason.”
Dera’s face paled. “Treason?”
“The man’s responsible for burning decent people out of their homes. The authorities have already been informed. Tonight, the secret meeting place will be raided.���
“Who informed you about Quint and the meeting place?”
“Don’t worry your pretty head, my dear. All has ended happily for me. That information won’t profit you any.”
Dera already had a strong suspicion that the informant was Jem; her hatred for him redoubled. Avery poured a glass of brandy and smiled. “Until the raid is over tonight, you will be placed under lock and key. I can’t have you ruining everything by warning your lover. And I believe you would warn him.” He looked so smug and vicious that Dera wished she could wipe the smirk from his face. She suspected he would like her to deny she would ever do such a thing, but she had grown tired of men and their ambitions.
“That’s a wise decision, Avery. For unless you lock me up, I will warn Quint and the others.”
���Filthy, scheming bitch! Get out of my sight.” Avery threw down his glass and unbolted the door. He called for a burly servant man to escort her to her room. He was finished with her; even to touch her would have defiled him. He wondered if there were any truthful women on earth or if all of them were put on the planet as a curse upon men. He found that his hands shook, so he refilled his glass and swallowed it down. He was tired playing the cuckolded spouse and wished to wipe the entire marriage from his mind.
After a few minutes, the world began to look brighter as the alcohol warmed his insides and the servant hauled Dera to her feet and escorted her to her room
He was able to believe that everything would be all right and turn out for the best. He had the information he needed now.
As soon as Dera entered her room, she sketched a map on a piece of paper, showing the roads she remembered from the only time Quint had taken her to the meeting place. Then she hastily jotted a few words of warning. She went to the bolted door. “Are you there?” she asked softly.
“Yes, my girl.”
Dera slipped the note beneath the door to Anna who quickly stuffed it in the pocket of her apron and stealthily crept away.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
The night wore on endlessly for Dera. She prayed that Anna had reached Quint before the soldiers, but it was well after midnight, and Anna hadn’t returned. She lay upon the bed, wishing only to rest when suddenly she started, and looking at the clock, she realized she had fallen asleep. Then she heard the click of the lock and Anna entered.
“Lord Fairfax has given you your freedom.���
Dera tumbled off of the bed, her eyes saucer-like and full of hope.
“Is Quint safe?” Dera asked her.
Anna’s eyes filled, her voice broke. “I’ve failed you, my dear. I followed your directions, and right they were, but I took a wrong road. I arrived at the cottage too late.”
“Quint was arrested?”
Anna nodded.
“And the others?”
“I asked a farmer who lives nearby and he told me they were rounded up shortly before I arrived. So I walked into the village thinking your Quint would be held there. The constable was helpful to me. The others are imprisoned in the village������ Anna’s voice trailed off.
“But Quint is in Dublin,” Dera finished for her.
���In Kilmainham Gaol. From what the constable said, I gather it isn’t a pleasant place to be.”
Dera groaned in anguish.
“There’s more. Lord Fairfax has already left for Dublin. He said he will be gone until all is over, which should be by the end of the week. I’m to inform you that judgment will
be swift.”
“What does that mean?”
“Mr. Quint will be tried and convicted.”
Dera sank onto the bed, totally drained. She felt helpless and had no idea what to do. True, Quint had committed crimes against the government, but he believed in his cause. She loved him and couldn’t let him stand trial without telling him how she felt. Their last meeting had been painful, but she wished to put things right between them. “Pack my valise,” she told Anna. “We’re going to Dublin.”
Dublin was a bustling city, dating back to Viking times and divided in half by the River Liffey. On the south side, stood Dublin Castle, the center of English rule, the place where the viceroys held court. Dera noticed the imposing structure, built by Anglo-Normans in 1172, and presumed this to be where Quint would be tried. The clip clop of the carriage wheels and the horses’ hoofs reverberated in her ears as they drove past St. Werburgh’s Church and Parliament House, but these places held no interest for her. All she could think about was Quint in Kilmainham Gaol.
“I don’t approve of this,” Anna said for the twentieth time. “Suppose Lord Fairfax sees you?”
“In that case, I have nothing to fear. He can’t do anything else to hurt me.”
Anna shook her head is dismay. “You look like a rag picker. If you wish to see Mr. Quint, wouldn’t you have a better chance in some decent clothes?”
Dera looked down at her plain, dirty dress. “Yes, I do look a sight, but someone might grow suspicious if a grand lady paid a visit to a prisoner. No one will care if a peasant girl asks to speak with her brother.”
“Still, it’s too risky.”
Dera patted Anna’s hand encouragingly. “Everything will be fine.”
The prison loomed ahead of them and Dera ordered the driver to stop. She disembarked and walked a short distance to the entrance. Above the doorway, serpents carved in stone stared down at her. She gathered her courage and went inside. To her amazement, the constable didn’t interrogate her but told the jailer to escort her to Quint’s cell.
The man led her down a chilly, dark corridor, illuminated by torches. She thought they had come to the end of the passageway, but he turned right and led her through another doorway into a maze like tunnel. Finally, the man turned and grinned at her, his face a mass of pock marks.
Emerald Desire (Emerald Trilogy) Page 13