by Amy Clipston
“What do you mean?”
Chace took a deep breath, preparing to tell Isaac the whole truth about his marriage to Mia. “When I asked Mia to marry me, she was pregnant with our child.” He paused, awaiting Isaac’s criticism, but instead, Isaac simply nodded. “It wasn’t the best situation, but I was already deeply in love with Mia and had planned to ask her to marry me after she graduated from college. Unfortunately, she didn’t get to finish. She quit her junior year, and we got married.”
Chace leaned against the barn wall beside Isaac and folded his arms over the front of his coat. “I’ve already told you about Mia’s parents. I knew we would have a rough start, but I thought I could provide for Mia and Kaitlyn. I’d hoped we’d have a house by now. At lunch today, I went by the bank to ask for a loan to consolidate all our medical bills and credit card debt, but they turned me down, saying my credit wasn’t good enough.” He looked up at Isaac. “I don’t know how long we’re going to be here. I’m just grateful we have a safe place to live.”
Isaac patted Chace’s shoulder. “You take all the time you need. Vera, the children, and I are enjoying having you all here. You’ve become like family to us. You just do your best to take care of your family, and it will all come together in God’s time. You can’t rush God’s plan for your life.”
Chace nodded as Isaac’s words rolled through his mind. He understood Isaac’s words—he needed to be patient. He just hoped Mia would be patient too.
Chace stared down at Kaitlyn in the crib. He reached in and touched her head before tucking the pink quilt around her little body. As he studied his precious baby, Isaac’s words echoed through his mind. He could wait for God’s time. He’d found himself praying while he stained a cabinet at work, and he realized Isaac was right. Praying was the best solution. He’d attended church with one of the foster families that had hosted him during his tumultuous childhood, and church had helped him find peace during those tough times. Unfortunately, his time with that family was cut short, and he hadn’t attended church since. Would Mia attend church with him? The thought of sitting in church beside her warmed his heart.
The bedroom door opened, and Mia padded into the bedroom, dressed in pink flannel pajamas with matching slipper socks. With a frown twisting her face, she placed the lantern she was holding on the nightstand by her side of the bed and then raised her eyebrows. Half of her attractive face was in shadow and the other half was lit by the soft yellow glow.
She’s asleep, he mouthed.
Mia nodded and then climbed into bed, sinking under the mountain of quilts.
Chace kissed the tips of two of his fingers and placed them on Kaitlyn’s head before climbing into bed beside Mia. She leaned over and flipped off the lantern. After she was settled, he circled his arms around her small waist and towed her to him in hopes of stealing a kiss. But she kept her back to him, facing the wall. His eyes adjusted to the dark room with only a dim light spilling in between the edge of the green shade and the window casing.
Why had Mia suddenly turned cold toward him? She’d kissed his cheek when he arrived home from work, and she’d smiled at him from across the table during supper at the Allgyers’ house. Her demeanor had changed, however, when they arrived home. She only gave him one-word answers to his questions, and her pretty face was fixed with a permanent frown.
“Is everything all right?” he whispered.
“Yeah.” Her voice was muffled by the quilt pulled up to her chin.
Chace longed for Mia to turn toward him and kiss him, but she didn’t move. His earlier thoughts about attending church as a family returned, and he opened his mouth to discuss it with her. Before he could share his idea, Kaitlyn coughed, and Mia sat up ramrod straight, worry radiating off her.
When the coughing subsided, Mia lay back down, facing the ceiling. “I’m almost out of the cold medicine I had, but it hasn’t helped much anyway.” She turned toward him. “I don’t want to take the chance that Vera’s home remedies won’t work. Our baby needs to see a doctor.”
Chace’s shoulders tightened as frustration washed over him. So this was the source of her aloofness. “Work is getting busier, and my paychecks should improve soon.” He reached for her hand, but she pulled it back, the rejection lancing through him. He bit his lower lip in an effort to assuage his temper. “Things are going to get better. It’s just going to take some time. We may be here longer than I’d hoped, but you have to trust me. We’ll have our own house someday.”
“I understand that, but that doesn’t help me right now when Kaitlyn needs medical care.”
Kaitlyn coughed again, and Mia moved to the crib. Chace scooted to the edge of the bed as Mia leaned in and stroked Kaitlyn’s back until the coughing ceased. Then she returned to bed, again facing the wall, and Chace crawled over to her.
“Mee.” He touched her arm. “I have a couple of dollars to spare, so I’ll pick up cold medicine on my way home from work tomorrow. Just tell me what you want me to get, okay? I don’t know what else I can do. Let’s try the cold medicine one more time.”
“Fine.” She pulled the quilt over her shoulder.
Chace rolled onto his back and hoped once again that Mia would have patience with him. And that more of the cold medicine and Vera’s home remedies would take care of Kaitlyn’s cough.
Mia kneaded her temple where a headache throbbed as she held a screaming Kaitlyn against her shoulder. Kaitlyn moaned and coughed again, the sound deep and wet in her little chest. The home remedies Vera recommended hadn’t helped, and the bottle of cold medicine was empty. Mia touched Kaitlyn’s head, now burning with fever. The Tylenol she’d given her had worn off and that bottle was empty too. Panic seized her stomach as she paced back and forth in the tiny kitchen. Kaitlyn had become progressively worse throughout the afternoon and needed a doctor now. Mia glanced at the clock on the counter and gritted her teeth. Chace should’ve been home an hour ago.
Where is he?
Above her, rain pounded on the roof of the cabin and droplets of water sprinkled down through the ceiling, peppering the linoleum floor with small puddles. When a drop of water splashed on her shoulder, Mia shivered, and anger shoved away her panic. She was tired of this cold cabin, tired of running out of food, and tired of not having the money to take care of her daughter the way a mother should.
Mia longed for their tiny apartment, but then a vision of the large house that had protected her during her childhood filled her mind. Didn’t Kaitlyn deserve to grow up in a warm, safe home similar to Mia’s childhood home? Tears stung Mia’s eyes as the pain behind them flared.
Kaitlyn moaned and coughed again, and Mia patted her back.
“It’s okay, sweet pea,” she whispered, her voice wobbly. “Just hang in there. Mommy will take care of you.”
They needed help, but could she risk destroying her relationship with Chace for the sake of their child?
Headlights bathed the family room in a soft yellow glow, and trepidation trickled down Mia’s spine. She had to make Chace understand that Kaitlyn was their top priority, even it if meant living on ramen noodles for a few weeks. She couldn’t let their baby suffer any longer. Chace was going to take Kaitlyn to the emergency room now or Mia was going to take Kaitlyn to her parents.
Mia’s eyes widened and she swallowed a gasp. Was she going to actually do that? Was she ready to give up on Chace, leave him? Was she going to abandon him the way his father and foster parents had?
Her mouth dried and her hand trembled as she cupped the back of Kaitlyn’s head. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Chace, please support my decision to take our baby to a medical facility.
If Chace didn’t agree, Mia hoped she had the courage to do what she needed to do for Kaitlyn.
Chace sat alone in his truck and studied the tiny cabin in front of him. He blew out a frustrated sigh and tried to muster the emotional strength to thrust himself out of the truck and into his home. Still, he sat glued to the worn and cracked vinyl bench seat.
The old truck’s engine rumbled as it idled, a fitting melody to accompany his defeated mood. He’d picked up a few essential groceries along with the new bottle of cold medicine at lunchtime and walked to find one of the truck’s rear tires flat. He took the tire to a nearby shop hoping to get it plugged, but it was too far gone for an easy fix. Instead, he had to use the rest of the money in his wallet to buy a tire.
Tomorrow was their first wedding anniversary, and thanks to the new tire, Chace didn’t have enough money to buy Mia flowers or even a card. And he wouldn’t be able to afford anything from tomorrow’s paycheck either. Mia would be crushed, convinced he’d forgotten their special day.
Chace was a failure, just as his foster father Buck had predicted.
Leaning forward, he folded his arms over the steering wheel and rested his forehead against them. The engine continued to rumble, causing the steering wheel to vibrate. After a few moments, his inner voice came to life, elbowing its way through his self-pity.
Get it together, Chace. Be a man. Be a father. Be a husband. Go inside and tell Mia what happened.
After a few moments, he sat up straight, shut off the truck, and gathered up the bags of groceries he’d purchased, the cold medicine inside. Chace stepped into the cabin and came face-to-face with Mia, glaring at him with venom in her dark eyes. Kaitlyn was tucked into Mia’s shoulder, moaning and crying between coughs. Chace opened his mouth to ask how Kaitlyn was feeling, but Mia cut him off.
“Where have you been?” She pointed to the clock on the kitchen counter. “It’s after seven!”
Whoa. He blinked and clenched his teeth in an attempt to bite back the bitter, defensive words threatening to explode from his lips.
“Were you planning on sitting outside all night?” She nodded toward the front door. “Why did you have to hide in your truck instead of coming in to check on your baby? Did you forget she’s been sick?”
Chace pinned his lips together as anger roared through his veins. Unable to trust his mouth with a retort, he marched over to the counter and slammed down the bags of groceries and his truck keys.
Startled, Kaitlyn jumped, and a howl escaped from her small mouth. Mia hugged her close, whispering something in her ear. Guilt washed over him for a brief moment, but then evaporated when Mia glowered at him.
“Good job,” she snapped. “Now she’s crying.” She walked over to the kitchen area and peered down at the groceries on the counter. “What did you buy? How did we have the money for all this?”
“I only bought the things you mentioned we needed and the cold medicine.” He ground out the words as he put a half gallon of milk in the refrigerator. When he turned to face her again, his foot slipped on a small puddle, and he grabbed the edge of the counter, righting himself. He looked up at the ceiling and groaned. “The roof is leaking again?”
“Again?” She gave a harsh laugh. “It never stopped leaking. And it’s still cold in here.” She lanced him with a furious stare. “I need to take Kaitlyn to a doctor. She’s running a fever now, and her cough is worse. She needs medical attention. Did you spend all our money today?”
Chace leaned against the counter and scrubbed his hands down his face. Heat radiated from his cheeks as he scowled at Mia.
“You did!” Mia’s voice rose as Kaitlyn screamed, her face as red as a cherry. “You spent all our money without discussing it with me first?”
“Please give me a second to explain,” he said, holding his hands up in an effort to calm her. “When I came out of the grocery store, my truck had a flat tire. I tried to get it repaired, but it couldn’t be fixed. I had to buy a tire.”
“You had to buy a tire?” She waved her free hand in the air. “So our baby needs medical attention and you spend the rest of our money on a tire. That’s just fantastic.” She spat the words at him and then marched toward the bedroom.
“Mia!” he called, but she kept walking away. “Mia!” He shouted her name louder, and she stopped and spun toward him, her eyes shooting daggers at him. His body shook with raw fury. “I’m sorry I don’t work hard enough for you. I’m sorry I don’t make enough money to give you the life of privilege you were used to before you got tangled up with me.”
She shook her head. “That’s not what I—”
“Wait.” He held his hand up to silence her, and to his surprise, she complied. “I can’t work any harder than I already do. I didn’t plan the flat tire, but I convinced Isaac to stay late to finish up a few things so I can make up the tire money in next week’s paycheck.” He pointed toward the door. “The last thing I wanted to do was spend money on that old truck, but I have to get to work every day so I can bring home money for you and Kaitlyn.” He drew in a shaky breath. “I had hoped I could surprise you by getting groceries and still have enough money to buy you flowers and a card for our anniversary tomorrow. But now I can’t get you anything.”
“You think I’m worried about getting flowers and a card on our anniversary?” Her eyes widened. “If that’s what you think, then you don’t know me at all. I don’t care about anniversary gifts. I just want to take my baby, our baby, to a doctor. She’s getting sicker, and I’m terrified she has bronchitis or worse.” Her eyes shimmered with tears. “I’ll eat ramen noodles for a month if that’s what it takes to get her to a doctor. You can keep your flowers and card. I care about our child’s health.”
Chace’s eyes narrowed. “So you think I don’t care about Katie?”
Mia lifted her chin, her expression obstinate.
Something inside of him broke apart, and Buck’s words rang loud and clear in his mind for the second time this evening. The room closed in on him, and he couldn’t breathe. He had to get out of that cabin and clear his head before he said something hateful to Mia that he could never take back. He stalked toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I need to cool off.” As he wrenched the door open, he glanced over his shoulder to Mia holding Kaitlyn against her chest.
Tears streamed down Mia’s face. “You’re going to just walk away from us?”
“Yeah, I am,” he said, his answer seething with sarcasm. “Isn’t that what you and your parents expect from me? After all, I’m nothing but a piece of trash from the foster care system. I have no ambition or potential, and I could never measure up to your high-class parents or their friends. You’d have been better off if you’d married the man your parents suggested. He could’ve bought you a mansion in that swanky Philly neighborhood where your parents live. It would have been an improvement over this life, where you’re shackled to me and a life of poverty.”
Mia gaped at him as Kaitlyn cried out and then coughed.
With his pulse pounding in his ears, Chace marched out the front door, then slammed it behind him. He shivered in the cold rain and pulled up the hood on his coat as he strode past Isaac’s barns toward the large pasture.
Leaning against the wooden fence, he took a deep breath in an effort to placate his shuddering body. He hated himself for spewing those cruel words at Mia before rushing outside. Why couldn’t he keep his temper in check? Why did he always have to hurt her?
Chace stared across the dark pasture as ice-cold rain dripped down his face and soaked through his coat. He needed time alone to sort through his confusing emotions. After he calmed down, Chace would have a civil conversation with Mia and work things out with her. He just needed time to figure out how to fix this before it was too late.
Mia stared at the door, the slam echoing through her mind. She stood frozen in place, waiting for Chace to reappear with an apology and a warm hug, but the door remained closed. Kaitlyn whined and coughed, and the sound propelled Mia into action.
She rushed into the bedroom and changed Kaitlyn’s diaper before packing a bag for Kaitlyn and one for herself. After they were bundled up in warm coats, Mia snatched the truck keys from the counter and dashed outside.
She hoped Chace would be waiting for her on the steps, ready to apologize
before offering to drive Kaitlyn to the hospital, ready to beg for medical attention even though they had no way to pay for it. But the front steps were empty. Balancing Kaitlyn on her hip and their bags on her opposite shoulder, Mia scanned the area in a desperate search for Chace’s tall silhouette in the dark, rainy evening.
When she didn’t find him, Mia loaded Kaitlyn into her car seat and set the bags on the truck’s passenger side floor. Then she started the engine and steered toward the main road, heading toward Philadelphia and her childhood home.
Mia’s stomach roiled as she imagined begging her parents for help. Would Chace ever forgive her? Kaitlyn coughed again, and Mia dismissed her concerns about Chace’s feelings. All that mattered right now was Kaitlyn. She just hoped Chace would someday understand her decision to put Kaitlyn before their marriage.
Chace heard the rumble of his pickup and panic rocked him to his core. Mia is leaving me! I have to stop her!
He took off running toward the driveway. Sliding through the mud, he came to a stop at the bottom of the driveway just as the truck bounced onto the main road, accelerating out of his sight.
Reality slammed into him, knocking him to his knees in the muddy, rocky driveway. Chace had finally pushed Mia too far, and now she and Kaitlyn were gone.
What did you expect? You couldn’t support them! Mia had no choice but to leave you. She’s better off without you!
Tears burned his eyes as he tried in vain to swallow against the messy lump of despair and regret clogging his throat. His world crashed down around him. It was over. He’d lost everything he loved most in this world. He pressed at an ache in the center of his chest and tried to breathe.
Chace buried his face in his hands. He wasn’t worthy of Mia or Kaitlyn, and they were better off without him.
But how could he let them go? Mia and Kaitlyn were his reason for living. He was nothing without them by his side.