by Ali Parker
"Yeah. He had a rough couple of years." I shrugged and glanced down at my plate, not really wanting to talk about the darker parts of my raising.
"And I want you to know that I'm sorry for my part in all of that." He reached out and touched my forearm. "I'd take it all away from both of you if I could."
"Dad." I glanced up. "It's not your fault that mom was a cheating whore-bag."
He stiffened. "Don't talk about your mother like that."
"Really right now?" I pulled my arm from his grasp and leaned back, feeling all of twelve. "She cheated on you and made Damon promise not to tell you."
"She was lonely, Matt. It was practically my fault that she found comfort in the arms of another man."
"Do you hear yourself?" I pushed my plate away, not feeling so good. "She didn't sleep with one guy, but many."
"Look at me." He gripped my arm again, tighter this time. "Your mother fucked up pretty bad, yes, but I loved her, and she loved me. Everything isn't black and white like you'd like to believe it is. Use your heart for a second and see the colors of our story, Matt. Read between the lines on all of it."
"What are you talking about?" Something like ice water raced down my spine. "Did you do something to hurt her before she hurt you?"
His expression saddened. "Yes. I slept with someone at the office and thought about leaving her, but I couldn't go through with it. We both made mistakes, son."
"Wow." I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest. "I have no clue what to think about that."
"Then don't think about it," he offered. "It's the past, and your mother and I both knew that we'd made horrible mistakes and hurt each other. I held her as she died, Matt, and I wished the whole time that I could go back and wipe away my affair. It's what started all of it." His eyes filled with tears. "There are days that I blame myself for her cancer. For her death." He shrugged. "I know it's stupid, but something about the human spirit begs the need for fault, for resolution, for understanding. And if we can't see it clearly, we'll create it out of nothingness. I harmed your mother, and she repaid me for it, but you know what she never did?"
"What, Dad?" My heart ached in my chest. There were so many more layers to the relationships around me than I thought possible. It forced me to want to dig into Erica's sadness. What was the underlying layer that was sucking away her joy, and better yet, how could I help heal it?
"She never told you boys about my affair. Even when Damon caught her in hers." He reached up and wiped his face. "I love you, son. I want you to be happy and live a full life. If that's working with your art and living in Seattle, then I fully support it."
"And me wanting to marry Erica?"
"I support that too." He gave me a sideways smile. "You're not planning on trying to take her away from the company too, are you?"
I offered him a grin in response. "It has crossed my mind a few times."
"Why am I not surprised by this?" He reached up and picked up his paper. "How long are you here for?"
"I'm leaving after lunch. I was going to stay until the end of the week, but I thought I would need some time to convince you not to be upset with my decision to walk away from M&B." I reached down and grabbed another piece of bacon from my plate. "I want to get back to Erica. Something is going on with her. I want to know what."
"Nothing to convince me of. I trust your judgment." He pulled the paper up in front of his face. "I don't want another Damon, Matthew. I want you. Just like you are."
"Thanks, Dad." I picked up my plate and walked to the bedroom, feeling almost light, like I could float down the hallway. My last concern was what my father would think of me, and I had it all wrong.
He was glad I was who I was. It was time for me to settle into that same place, accepting myself, all parts of my personality.
Even the wild ones.
Chapter 4
Erica
It felt so good to hear from Matt earlier in the day. It was about the only thing getting me through the fucked up task of walking around the office like everything was fine. I'd left early the day before, faking a stomach ache just to get out of having to deal with Mitch a moment longer.
The inevitable was coming closer and closer. I was going to have to leave M&B. For some strange reason, the thought of parting ways with my corporate job didn't scare me nearly as much as it should have.
"Erica. You got a minute?" Lewis walked into my office with a large poster board sketch of our latest ad project. "I know you're probably heading out soon, but I wanted to get your take on this."
"Of course." I stood and walked toward him, leaning over and studying the artwork. "It's beautiful. You have very clean lines, and I love the blue and gold coloring at the eagle symbol that they use in their main logo near the top. We're good for presenting it to Kent and Damon."
"Excellent." He rolled the poster up and walked to the door, pausing briefly. "Hey. I know that it's none of my business, but is Matthew coming back? We haven't seen him in a week or so, and you've somewhat left us in the dark on what's going on."
"I'm not sure, to be honest. He's gone to Dallas to talk with his father about leaving the firm. It's just not his persona at all, though he has enjoyed working with you and Mandy a lot."
Lewis smirked. "I knew it was coming. He's way too much of a free spirit."
"That he is." I turned and walked back to my desk as Lewis left. Speaking of my free spirit... I wanted to hear his voice. After packing up my things, I made my way down to the first floor of M&B and waited until I was outside in the late fall evening to call him.
The phone rang three times and went to voicemail.
"Damn," I mumbled and tucked my phone away. He must have been with Damon or Kent in a meeting. Maybe he was talking with them about him leaving the firm.
The idea gave me chill bumps. He was going to step out and live his dreams. I wished I could do the same, but crazy enough, I wasn't even sure what my dreams were.
My phone buzzed in the seat next to me on the way back to the house, and I answered it in a hurry, praying that it was Matt. There was some part of me that was almost desperate to hear from him.
"This is Erica."
"Hey. It's Lanie." She chuckled. "Did you not see my name on your phone?"
"I'm driving and answered without looking at it." I worked hard to hold back the disappointment from my voice. "What's up? How are you?"
"I'm good. I just keep walking around the little classroom wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life." She let out a long sigh.
"Come over tonight instead of tomorrow night, and we'll figure it out together." I put on my blinker and moved over, almost getting side swiped by some asshole in a red Mustang. "Ugh. I hate driving on this freeway."
"Be careful please."
"Come over. I can whip something up for us. It would be nice to see you. I need to find out who the hottie at the art event was last week."
"Right? I'm sorry about having to cancel on you for dinner and then yoga. We're just going through some changes here at school, and I needed to deal with a few things. I'll come over tomorrow night like usual. That work?"
"Yeah. Sure. Nothing to apologize about." We chatted for a few more minutes before I hung up. I pulled up into the driveway of my apartment complex and got out. I couldn't help longing for a different scenario than the one I had facing me that night.
The only good thing about the evening was Zek, my puppy. He'd help me stay busy after I had dinner, and maybe if I was lucky, Matthew would call later.
The sound of him moaning on the phone as he came earlier that morning raced through my mind, lighting my body on fire.
I didn't give a shit what Joan or Mitch thought. Matthew Bryant was all alpha in the bedroom, even if he wasn't at all outside of it.
"And maybe that's what I need." I unlocked and opened my front door, stopping short to the smell of Chinese food. "Hello?" I trace of fear ran through me.
Had Mitch gotten a key to my place?
"
Hello yourself, beautiful." Matt walked out of the kitchen toward me as I stood frozen at the front door. "Damn, woman... that dress looks good on you."
I dropped my bag and reached for him, pulling him close as he ran his hands down my back and massaged my rear. "Fuck, Matt. You scared me." I nestled the side of his neck, breathing him in deeply as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"I'm sorry, baby. I wanted to surprise you." He ran his hand down the back of my head, tugging at my hair softly. "Hey. You okay?"
I moved back as hard emotion tugged at my insides. "Yeah. Just a little needy for some reason."
"Hmm... that's usually my line." He smiled and touched the side of my face. "I had to come home after this morning. We need a new rule. No leaving town without each other. It's the fucking pits."
"Agreed." I moved in for a long kiss, opening my mouth and letting his tongue dominate mine. The delicious feel of his hands running over my sides and up my back was enough to have me melting there in front of him. "More."
"Dinner and then more, or just more?" He kissed me as he worked on the zipper that ran down my back.
"Just more." I moved back and pulled at his t-shirt, tugging it over his head and throwing it somewhere behind me. His eyes shown with lust as I glanced up and lost myself in them. "God, I love you."
"Same here, angel." He gripped the sleeves of my dress and pulled them over my shoulders. "Turn around. Now."
I turned as my dress hit the ground, pooling around my heels. A moan left me as he encircled my waist and ran his hands up to cup my breasts. The thick press of his chest and hard stomach against my back felt too good to be true.
"Please don't stop." I turned my face and kissed him as he leaned down to consume my mouth. One hand slid down my stomach, his fingers sliding into my panties to part my folds.
"That's not something you have to ask for, Erica. Just tell me if you need me to stop." He opened me up, sliding his thick middle finger into my heat as he rolled the meaty part of his palm against my clit. "You smell so fucking good, baby."
I lifted one leg, resting my foot on a nearby chair before leaning back against him. He massaged my breasts one at a time as I rolled my hips slowly, fucking myself with his fingers.
"I want to hear my name on your lips," he whispered roughly into my ear as he ground against my ass.
"I want you everywhere. All over me. Inside of me." I bucked against his hand as a fire lit deep inside my womb, threatening to explode.
"My name," he grumbled and moved his other hand into my panties to play with the warm bundle of nerves at the top of my mound. "And come hard for me."
"So bossy." I closed my eyes and let the feeling of him working me hard and fast throw me off the cliff. A scream built up behind my teeth as I jerked against his strong hold.
"Say it." He pumped his rough fingers in and out of my body. The sharp pain of his teeth pressing against the back of my shoulder had me lost to him.
"Matt," I screamed and rode the high for as long as it would take me.
"So beautiful, Erica." He released me and knelt, pulling my panties off as he did. "Turn around, baby."
I turned and reached out, running my fingers through his dirty blond hair. "I want you inside of me."
"Good. You're going to get it." He leaned forward and parted my folds with his fingers before dragging his tongue over my sensitive flesh. "I want to taste you later tonight after dinner."
"Anything you want. I'm all yours." I moved back as he stood, his cock creating a huge tent in his jeans.
"And what do you want?" He reached out and grabbed my hand before pulling me close and forcing me to stroke his erection. "A little bit of this?"
"All of it." I nipped at his lips as aggression rose sharply within me. He was mine, and I wasn't giving him up for anything or anyone.
He unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down his legs, taking his black silk boxers with it. His arousal sprung loose, his dick thick and hard, standing proud. "I missed you last night. And this morning."
"I missed you too." I reached out and stroked him as we locked gazes. "I don't want to spend another night without you."
"Then you won't have to." He pulled out a chair and sat down. "Turn around and come sit in my lap."
"Let me get us a condom."
"No. I'm not going to come yet. I just want to feel you against me." He gripped my hips and forced me to turn before jerking me down into his lap. "Just ride me and find your own release. That's what I'm after."
"That shouldn't be hard to do." I spread my legs over his and gripped his thighs just above the knee as I lowered myself onto him, taking one delicious inch after the other.
"Fuck, Erica. You're so wet." He ran a hand up my back and gripped my shoulder, pulling down and forcing me to take all of him in one hard thrust.
We cried out together, and lust burned my insides. I dug my nails into his thighs and lifted up, working him as my body hummed with delight. There was nothing in the world like being filled up by Matt. It was a feeling I would covet for the rest of my life.
He wrapped his strong arms around me and whispered a million naughty things in my ear as I enjoyed myself for the next hour, finding my release several times over.
"Okay, baby. I can't stand it anymore." He gripped my hips, stilling me as I shook above him. I was beyond exhausted.
"Let me get a condom."
"No. I want to make love to you later tonight. I just wanted to feel you come a few times before dinner." He kissed the side of my neck and held me tight, his body still tucked deep into mine. "I made Chinese food, though I bet it's cold as ice now."
"I have a microwave." I jerked my hips forward, and he growled loudly. A laugh bubbled up in me, freeing me from my worries for the rest of the night.
He helped me off his swollen shaft and pulled his boxers over his hips. "So I talked to my dad about leaving M&B." He walked into the kitchen, and I found my panties and followed him. There was no reason to put my dress back on. I'd be searching out my pajamas any minute.
"And? How did it go?" I walked to the pantry and pulled out a bottle of red wine. I turned and held it up.
His eyes were full of lust. "Yes, to the wine and you prancing around in your bra and panties. You're going to give me a heart attack."
"Nope. You're younger than me. That means you'll outlive me." I set the bottle down and grabbed two glasses. "Now, stop messing around and tell me about the meeting with your dad."
"It went great. He's all for whatever I want to do."
"And us?" I poured him a glass and handed it to him.
"He's for that too, Erica. You know he thinks of you like a daughter."
Indecision ran through me. If Kent thought of me as a daughter, then I could talk to him about Mitch, right? Or would he be pissed, or worse - disgusted?
"Matthew Bryant." I picked up a little white Chinese container with beef and broccoli in it. "You made dinner?"
"Well, I picked it up. You walked in before I could get it into the pans and stuff." He laughed heartily before taking a sip of his wine and pulling me close. "Move in with me."
"What?" My turn to laugh. "How did we go from you lying about cooking dinner to me moving into your place?"
"I want you with me. I don't want to have to drive over here, or you over there. We can use that big ass art studio I have to paint together. You can have half the room, and I'll have the other half."
His words drove hope into my heart. I swallowed my worry. "You really think we're ready for that?"
"I know I am. I want to move fast." He leaned down and kissed me, his tongue tasting of wine and my body.
"Why do you want to move so fast? Scared I might get away?" I brushed my hands up his thick chest and pressed myself flush against him.
"Of course I am. I've seen the way guys look at you. Hell, Mitch Roberson was willing to blow five million bucks on a naked painting of you. Some young billionaire guy did!"
I stiffened. "I don't care about that, t
hem or the painting."
Concern filled his expression. "I know you don't, baby. I'm just saying. I know I'm the lucky one here. It gives me a bit of concern. I want you with me. I'm not taking no for an answer."
"Then I'm moving in with you." I pulled him down for another long kiss. The take-out Chinese food could wait. I wanted more time with my future, my man.
Chapter 5
Matt
Spending the night in Erica's arms almost had me convinced that nothing was wrong. I woke up next to her and turned on my side to watch her sleep for a little while. She jerked and cried out several times, something haunting her in her dreams.
"What's going on with you, baby?" I reached out and brushed her hair from her face.
She shot up in the bed and yelped. "Matt?"
"Hey. I'm right here." I pulled her down and wrapped my arms around her as she snuggled against my chest. She was the toughest woman I knew and yet something had her spooked. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Just a bad dream." She wrapped her arm around my chest and nestled my neck. "I'm just glad you're here."
"See? One more reason for us to move in together. I'd be beside you every night and in the morning." I kissed the side of her face. "I need to get moving right now, though. Jonathan is stopping by the house in about an hour, and I wanted to finish working on some highlights for a piece I'd like him to put in the studio."
"Okay. What piece is it?" She rolled over onto her back.
I tugged the covers down so I could see her breasts one more time. I leaned over and kissed the one closest to me. "It's a nature seen of Mount Rainer."
She slid her fingers into the back of my hair and moaned softly. "You keep teasing me, and you're not going anywhere."
"Yeah, cause that's a real threat." I licked at her nipple before moving up and kissing her deeply. "Call me throughout the day, then come over, and I'll have dinner ready for us."