The orphanage is as dank and horrible as they imagined, and even worse. The children are crowded into small cribs, even the older children are just lying there. There is no place for them to walk, run or play and those that have spent much time here are unable to walk, their muscles lack the development for normal movement. There is no laughter or any other sounds you might expect in a place full of children. There are too few workers and the babies cry and wriggle in waste that can't be removed fast enough to keep them from suffering terrible sores. There is little hope many of these children will make it beyond a year or two and no one wants them even if they do survive. This is a sad house of death and sickening neglect.
The workers know exactly where to take these visitors, for they are Americans. There are special children for the Americans. The beautiful babies with their bright eyes and fancy clothes. These babies are cared for as much as possible under the circumstances and they are kept aside from the others. The dirt floor and stench of the building is not avoidable and sadness hangs in the air as James and Amber walk through the door first. Joanna is distracted walking through the other room with the horrific need some of the children have for medical care. She wants to help, to offer something, but knows it is a lost cause.
When Amber's eyes fall on the girl sitting there so tiny and perfect, all she can see are the piercing blue eyes. The eyes seeing into her soul that know something most others can't know. The girl smiles waving her arms, eager to be touched, and Amber reaches for her on instinct. The man standing nearby swats her hands away and James nearly knocks him over. "The money first," he says matter of factly. "No baby without money." The men walk into the other room leaving the girls with the children. Amber again reaches for the girl and this time the connection is made. She can't put her down. There are three other beautiful babies there they are bringing home, but only this one bonds with Amber, only this one looks at her with knowing eyes. This one will be called Emily.
Joanna arranges for the birth certificates and there are no complications. At Amber's insistence, the precious little girl is given a special name, one given to her by someone who cares for her already, loves her somehow and knows how amazing she will be. She is given the name of a little girl who was long ago lost locked away out of sight to finally and completely find freedom from the bonds of her pain. She has found a new start, and the simple remembrance will set her free for good. The footlocker in Amber's mind where Emily sleeps has shattered, and the little girl, so much younger than she had truly been, skips around the room in her white dress and petticoat laughing and chanting in Amber's mind.
Come out, come out and play with me,
See what no one else can see.
Touch the truth and don't you cry,
The story ends beyond the sky…
The beginning of a children's rhyme, it has come from her, she doesn't actually remember it, or how to finish it but she hears it clear as day. She feels completely and totally free from the torment she suffered in those days. She remembers the chains, the beatings and the rape, she remembers the footlocker where she was shoved and left to cry in darkness and fear. She remembers the pain and the strength within her that has grown from it. She also remembers the laughter, how she spit in his face, pushed him to hurt her, she tormented him chanting and singing of how God and his horrible monsters from the sky would come and tear him limb from limb for all he was doing to her. She was the child of God, not him, he was merely a coward praying to nothing. She remembers what she used to know. Long ago, when she was young and innocent, she knew what she has only recently come to understand.
She remembers feeling close to the power rising up within her when the pain came. The razors edge her connection to her escape. She had been so young. Emily hadn't understood it, but she felt it. She laughed in her father's face when he called on his God to help save the child from possession. He believed something evil was inside her, had he truly been so wrong? Was the power within her evil? She doesn't feel that way, but who is she to judge what evil even means at this point. All she can do now is laugh again at the immensity of ignorance surrounding her. He is dead now, she had seen to that, he had not been able to leave her alone, he had come for her, felt he had to finish what he started and she had destroyed him. His precious God stood by without so much as a whisper in his direction, what a sad day it must have been for him to realize in his final moments how very wrongly placed his faith had been. Amber feels an awakening, an awareness all the way to her core. "Even the innocent have dark thoughts and desires and the most guilty among us have some level of innocence." Amber isn't ready yet to accept the implications of a world that can't be divided into good and evil.
She stares at the tiny child feeling something stir within her, she is meant to carry the blood of the Father as well, but knows that isn't a possibility, her father had seen to that with a coat hanger. She hasn't really thought about this problem in a long while. Amber will have to tell James they won't be able to have children of their own; perhaps they can raise Emily. Is there any chance of that? she wonders, as she cradles the beautiful girl in her arms. She isn't sure what's made her think of keeping the child, she knows it's not what's best for them at this point. She hasn't even considered the idea before this moment.
She reluctantly hands the girl over to Joanna and she and James return to the hotel. She needs to catch her breath, and re-center her desires. They have never spoken of having children, she never wanted it, and knows from the thoughts she endured in that room that another like her is nearby. She can always taste the bitterness of thoughts that are not her own, as they fester within her mind. Someone there wanted her to become smitten with that little girl and forget about the rest of her hopes for discovery here. She asks James if he felt a surprising inkling that it might be nice for them to keep the baby and he answers; "he only thought about it when he saw the glimmer in her eyes and the happiness on her face as she looked at her."
"I know we have never really discussed it, but I really don't think I'm meant to be a father, he says. I have always felt I am going to die young, I live a wild lifestyle and now that I am with you, we don't seem to be on a path that is amicable to creating family bliss. Although there is far less chance of my actually dying, there seems to be much more opportunity for other sorts of tragedies. I would hate to find a poisonous snake in the stroller or have our car run off the road with an infant around. We have responsibilities, and it seems that among them is the necessity to run all over the world in search of puzzle pieces. I am so thankful we found those girls, and now at least they will be given a fighting chance for survival in good homes, but that is ultimately what happens with most of these children I imagine. Perhaps we haven't really changed anything only facilitated what was going to happen anyway."
The payments are made and the proper paperwork is drawn up, Joanna and Tanner decide to leave immediately to get the girls back to the States and handed over to their new parents. They have their tickets changed and head back on the earliest possible flight. James and Amber decide to stay for a while and see what there is to see. Both feel something tugging at them here, and know that it will just eat at them if they leave without a proper investigation. There is something worthwhile hiding in these towns and forests. The people here know something, and the air is electric with it.
The resort they are staying at seems to be completely out of place with its luxurious accommodations, phenomenal restaurants, glistening swimming pools and wonderful spa offerings. Amber gets a massage before they head out on their first guided tour of the area. It is supposed to be a vacation after all. They reserve bicycles to take a journey through the city and out to the ruins of an old Mayan city not far from town. Amber knows it's not the place she's looking for, but feels it's important to get a good feel for the land before going out exploring more dangerous and likely less-welcoming parts of this world. They both feel they are being watched, and are not sure whether it's because they stick out like sore thumbs as awkward touris
ts, or if it has to do with the more supernatural element of their journey. James thinks it may simply be because Amber is so beautiful, this line of speculation makes her blush and their thoughts drift away from all their troubles to more pleasant appreciation of their surroundings.
They haven't seen anything that strikes them as particularly out of place, no one seems to be following as they wander around the facilities. They take a swim, waiting to see if anyone presents an opportunity for gathering information. Amber begins a conversation with her masseuse about the ruins and what has caused so many people to leave the city. The answers are well-rehearsed and none of Amber's questions seem to hit a nerve. Each inquiry into the nearby ruins is met with stories of wars, amazing architecture and of the sights to be seen amongst the spectacular ruins that have been left behind. Nothing new or particularly revealing comes of it. She will have to talk to people not directly involved in the travel industry.
The area is well populated, and as James and Amber ride the pathway streets they pass many people who seem to be residents. No one is especially talkative, but neither are they evasive. The scenery is a wonderful change, and the vibrations of this place leave Amber feeling remarkably at ease. There is something special about these forests. She feels a magical sense of wonder as she connects with the strange animals making Brazil home. The trees hiding secrets and mysteries she can't wait to unfold.
Once they find the outskirts of populated civilization, the pathway becomes more like a trail and the signs point them toward their destination. There really aren't any other possibilities, but the signs make them feel better. There is something eerie about heading off the beaten path, going where people no longer live their lives. They must go, she has to see the places of her dreams in the daylight when they have no power over her. She can't resist the pull deep inside that drives them on.
The empty ruins are both astonishing and disturbing. When they arrive at their destination, there are no other people around, and the buildings are beautiful and ancient with phenomenal carvings and images everywhere. Animal faces look out from the bodies of men, the powerful standing upon piles of their enemies and beautiful chariots of flame gracing the skies. The earth's energies resonate through these buildings with astonishing intensity. Though abandoned, this place feels more alive and more vibrant than any she has ever experienced. Those who lived here so long ago carried and passed on the blood of the Father, he spent time here nurturing them with power and guidance. He led them into conquering their enemies and building their legacy. This is only the tip of this vast empire, there is so much more for her deeper in the twisted wilds that surround them. Amber feels dizzy and out of sorts, her body becomes heavy, a burden to her... as she falls to the ground her mind is transported from this simple ruin to a larger and more elaborate dwelling place hidden far away in the depths of the jungle, this is the place of her dreaming. Amber looks around and finds James standing quietly by her side, looking around them in stunned disbelief. He stands in place quietly, as she steps away exploring a world she is far more familiar with than he.
There is a history emanating through the ancient buildings and the earth beneath. This place once held a source of power that pushed the Mayans to great success as their empires bloomed around them. The cities once held unstoppable warriors with mythical powers that have not been seen or heard from since. This city the glorious home to the ancient one, she can feel his presence here. Climbing up the temple steps slowly, she stands at the top. Amber stands where she has seen him looming over his people in her dreams. She raises her arms up to the heavens feeling the earth and sky joining through her, she is a conduit between them holding each within for a moment before releasing their power back into the atmosphere. This is a portal, a doorway between her world and his out there somewhere beyond her knowledge.
Calling to those hiding beyond the edge of the forest, Amber allows the power to flow through her. She can feel them there waiting. The children of the Father, the shifters, jaguars and spectacular lobo Guara, serpents, and many other fearful things, hearing her, come without hesitation. For many years they have waited. She is the chosen one, the promised one, she will lead them home again. Where these warriors once numbered in the hundreds, there are only a handful remaining. Many of these stunning women have been slaughtered. Lost and hunted in these modern times, they are even more vulnerable in their spirit forms than in their usually weaker human form. Unfortunately there are fewer places to hide as time passes, and one by one they fall to the bullets and arrows of skilled hunters. The once-great army has fallen not in a great battle, but to the whims of poachers wanting only to make money on their skins and organs. She feels their pain, and understands their desire to stand strong once again. She feels their warrior spirits rising up for justice, for revenge, for another chance to regain the power they once held. Man is their enemy and they want only to destroy the villages and reclaim their rightful place as rulers of this earth. They only need a leader willing to lead the charge. Anger radiates from these lost souls as they watch and wait for answers.
They can't understand why he abandoned them, left them here without his strength and glory. What have they done to disappoint him, their Father, their creator, their king. They can't understand he only intended to begin the journey with them, they are his chosen children, and living without him is his gift to them. He has freed them from their bonds of servitude, he has released them to flourish in their own environments, but they have been born to follow, as so many of us are. Without the strong leadership of their God, their creator, they have fallen to dust, failed to protect each other, and have nearly been wiped out as individuals. Amber is having a hard time understanding why so many among us find it so difficult to believe that we are on our own. Each of us strong and capable of influencing the world around us, for better or worse. She doesn't understand the level of fear and anxiety the thought of independence creates.
"One creature cannot survive the darkness, one child will never live through the night alone, each of us needs the support of others if there is any hope for a brighter tomorrow. Man is not the enemy, the enemy is your fear and isolation. You are a part of the fabric of life, you have no need to hide from anyone or anything. Stand among them, influence them toward what should be the ultimate goal of us all. We must all stand together against the coming storm." The lost warriors hear her knowing she speaks the truth, they feel motivated to stand together now, the few that remain. They will continue to watch over their old home with attentiveness and respect for the old ways, but they will allow themselves to incorporate back into the cities rejoining the modern world. It is time to let go of a past that no longer serves them. They will rise again someday, but for the time being Amber is right.
James watches the entire scene from a distance and is in complete shock and disbelief. He has seen Amber take the throne, has heard her speak in words he can't understand. He watches as the animals make their way forward sitting at the base of the temple. There watching her, their numbers growing slowly. They listen intently and as she speaks they begin allowing her to see them as they were born. Their beautiful bronzed skin, tattooed with black ink to demonstrate their bravery and dedication to their tribes. Long dark hair blowing in the wind making each look as wild as the form they take in the shadows of the forest. These dark women are easy to convince, they long to be a part of something again, to have a purpose. These few stragglers are only the beginning of a vast army of warriors the father created by the lust of his loins.
The powerful women of the bloodlines, splendid and strong, each a sinuous bronzed goddess with the power to become what lies beneath the surface of their skin, the jaguar, the wolf, the predator capable of tearing man limb from limb, what other possibilities there are she does not know, but she assumes each takes on a beast of intimidating stature; they are born and bred to be savage warriors, after all. When Amber has finished communing with the women under the shadow of her father's temple she looks flushed and radiant. His ey
es fall on James and there is the sparkle of hope in their depths and a slight smile parting her lips.
The Ajana, as they ask to be called, have gone off as one, back into the darkness of the forest. James marvels at all he has seen. Amber glowing with power, radiating a phenomenal energy, sharing that energy with the rapt creatures that tremble at her feet. Something spectacular has happened, he will never fully understand, but he does not have to understand to see that she has given hope where hope was lost. She has filled them with something they had forgotten. She has guided them as any good leader should, and has set into action a rebellion of sorts. A reclamation of the sacredness of life she intends to ensure doesn't stop here. These are her people now. She is one of them, animal woman, demon, angel, God, many will give them labels in the days to come, all will be rejected, they are the Ajana, Daughters of the Father, sacred and eternal. So much more than human, but still a part of this world.
She feels anger towards the Father for his abandonment of his people. She reasons if he cares about humanity or his children at all, he would have guided them, loved them and actually taken on the role of Father for them. He would not have created them to fend for themselves in a world that no longer fits them, that they no longer understand. His intentions are unclear but they seem to be haphazard and cruelly implemented. Why interfere at all, why come and create his half-breed army only to leave them to be picked off over the course of time by people who don't even know what they are? Maybe he only cares about the ones he takes with him. These are mysteries she is apparently not meant to understand.
Awakening - Book of Fire (Blood Heritage #1) Page 32